A/N: The content is much more exciting in this chapter imo. It's not very long I know but shorter updates do mean faster updates. I also apologize immediately if you're disappointed by my attempt at some steamy writing, hah, what I can I say? I tried. Reviews will always be loved and thank you to those who already do so. :)

Marissa wakes up in her bed in the middle of the night. It used to happen to her often, less frequently now but the reason was always Trey. But tonight her nightmares featured a different torment because the images of Trey forcing himself on to her became replaced with the image of her blood spilling on to the marble stairs of the model home. There was blood everywhere; the blood of her lost baby.

It's hot in the trailer. The sun's been beating down all day and the heat has become packed in this tiny shell of a home. Marissa realizing she's still dressed in the same clothes, begins to peel off her jeans and t-shirt and replaces them with some short shorts and a flimsy tank top. It's still painfully hot, so she opens the tiny window next to her bed to let some of the cool night breeze in. She sits for a second on the bed, letting the sweat that sticks to her cool off and also to allow the thoughts to steady in her mind. She had told Ryan what had happened and then he had driven her home and then...they had watched 'The Sound of Music' together. There had been some slightly more 'guy-friendly' film choices but Ryan had insisted on 'The Sound of Music' because he knew it was her favorite. Marissa groans inwardly; of course Ryan would put me first, even on his birthday.

Suddenly, remembering Ryan, she wonders what happened to him. Her mind's drawing a blank after they began to watch the movie and she doesn't even know how she ended up in her bed when they were on the sofa. She concludes in the end that she must have fallen asleep and Ryan left her on the bed before leaving himself. Having decided on this, she walks out of her room to get a glass of water only to find a sleeping Ryan cramped up on the sofa. He didn't leave.

She hovers nervously unsure of what to do. On one hand he looks so peaceful asleep but sleeping on that tiny couch cannot be comfortable. Why did he even stay? She keeps asking herself. Ryan has a tendency to be over-protective but this seems like a stretch even for him. It strikes her then that maybe he stayed not just for her but for himself too. He really doesn't want to be alone tonight. Marissa thinks about the nightmare she's just had and the more she dwells on it, the more compelled she becomes to wake him up and invite him to her bed.

"Marissa?" a sleepy voice calls out cutting through her thoughts. She might as well do it now, she decides, since she's already woke him up.

"Hey," she says softly kneeling down to look him in the eye, "you didn't have to sleep on the couch."

"I didn't...?" he replies groggily.

Marissa offers him her hand, motioning for him to take it. He holds it obediently as she guides them into her room and then on to her bed. She considers suggesting he can take his jeans off but he doesn't seem bothered by the heat and given her own sparse clothing, having at least one of them fully dressed feels like a good idea. She's lying flat on her back and him on his side, still partially asleep but even so, she can feel his eyes fluttering open and pressing down on her.

"Marissa...are you okay?"

She closes her eyes and ponders the question. In the space of one day, she fainted, fell down a flight of stairs, found out she was pregnant and finally discovered she had lost the baby. There was no person who could be okay after that.

"No."

The word resonates in the humid air and Ryan moves his arm so it drapes across her waist before telling her, "Neither am I."


When Marissa wakes up the next morning, she can feel the warm sunlight passing through the window and falling on to her skin. She can feel the texture of Ryan's jeans against her legs and the muscles on his torso pressing down on her back. She can feel him on seemingly every inch of her body. His arm holds her tightly and she's leaning into her, glowing in the comfort. She threads her fingers through his and instantly he grips her hand through a semi-conscious daze. Marissa absorbs the moment, taking in the feeling of waking up next to Ryan - a feeling forgotten far too long ago.

Ryan moves next to her, slowly coming out of his slumber and Marissa holds her breath waiting for this momentary paradise to end. But it doesn't. He shifts his head, his nose nuzzling into her back. It's like in the motel on the way to TJ two years ago but then instinct had been to immediately back off wary of the boundaries of their relationship but times have changed. Instinct has become to fall further into the intimacy.

His lips press down on her exposed shoulder and she shivers at the contact; the kiss is tender yet scalding. He's not thinking coherently, he's just acting on impulses and his kisses spread till he's on top of her, her arms round his neck, his mouth targeted on her collar bone. Then the kisses shake him awake and understanding what's he done he moves away from her. He's about to apologize but he sees the glint in her eyes that isn't regretful but clouded with lust. So he does the only thing that could be done, he closes the static air between them and his lips lands on hers.

Their mouths part, tongues melding together, hands racing through each other's hair, down their bodies, under their tops – it's seamless and never ending. Her legs move round his waist, her hands go lower fumbling with his belt. He's already taken her tank top off and is working his way down her body, through a steady trail of kisses, ready to take off her offending shorts.

She flips them over, moving on top and lifting his shirt off before returning the long hard kiss he's offering. She's dressed only in her underwear now and where their naked skin touches, the heat burns through. Her hand returns to his jeans, quickly unbuttoning them and pushing them down in a hurried attempt to move things forward.

Every desire in Ryan's body wants things to go further. He would love nothing more than to pin her down and fuck her hard but when her hands play with the waistband of his boxers threatening to pull them down, it occurs to him that they actually can't do this.

"Wait." he says breathless pulling away from their kiss. "We can't."

"What?" Marissa asks him. She heard what he said but she can't believe what she's hearing. There has only ever been one other time he has denied sex and that was right after the disaster with Oliver. "I thought…I'm sorry, of course we can't, we broke up and you like another girl…"

She's rambling off as she begins to move away from him, trying to find the discarded tank top and shorts. Failing to find them, she settles for the thin robe lying next to her bed.

"That's not how I meant it," he tells her grabbing on to her wrist, "I don't think we can physically do this or at least, you can't…given everything that's happened." She registers what he's saying and realization dawns across her face. She had suffered the miscarriage only yesterday and it was very likely not advisable to be engaging in such activities the day after.

"Oh God, of course this would happen to us." She groans as she flops onto the bed. "I'm sorry."

He shrugs and replies, "It's not your fault." Ryan begins to get dressed and Marissa watches him contemplating what she should say next, what this even means. Neither is really sure about how to behave and fortunately, they're saved from the task when Ryan's phone goes off. He checks the caller ID, it's Seth.

"Hey man, what's up?" he says casually.

"What's up? Dude I should be asking you that but I'm not, for now, so don't think you're getting out of some hardcore Seth/Ryan time because I have some really burgeoning questions to ask. A real interrogation my friend."

"Seth..."

"Yes, sorry I'm drifting but what I called to say was I need you home ASAP. I covered for you last night but if you don't get home soon, mom and dad are going to get suspicious. Hell I'm getting suspicious, where actually are you?"

"I'm...it doesn't matter. I'll explain when I get home."

"Ok, man but I really mean it. As soon as possible."

"Yeah, I got it."

Ryan puts the phone away before looking at Marissa.

"I should be heading out"

"Yeah, I'll walk you to the door..."

"It's just over there Marissa. Like few meters away."

"Well, I can't just sit here." she says getting up from the bed. "Coming?" He laughs in response as he follows after her.

They stand awkwardly at the door, unsure of what would be an appropriate goodbye. Suddenly a question pops into Ryan's head.

"Hey, have you told anyone else about what happened?"

"No, just you." Anticipating the next question that may be circling in his mind she tells him, "But I don't mind if you want to talk to Seth about it or even Sandy and Kirsten. Although, I was hoping not to have to tell the parents about this."

"Yeah, I'm with you on the parents. I'm actually really scared about what you're mom might do to me if she found out I knocked you up."

"You may have to leave the country." she says partly joking, partly serious.

"Yeah...but you should talk to someone, maybe Summer. Might help?"

"Maybe..." she replies hesitantly.

"Think about it." He says goodbye and he's about to leave but just as he approaches his car, he's hit by how open ended things are between them. So, in the hope of bringing some sense of solidity to their situation, he turns and tells her, "Just so you know, I don't regret what happened this morning."

Taken aback by his words at first, she responds confidently, "That's good because neither do I."

The look at each other, a small smile breaking on to their faces as they are once more momentarily united by their shared longing for each other.