AUTHOR'S NOTE: I hope you guys are still enjoying the story! Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!
until then.
Chapter 3: (Doo Wop) That Thing
Aubrey and Jax have started a weird sort of thing. She is unsure to call it a relationship as they both haven't voiced any commitments to each other. Although she is starting to think friends with benefits or fuck buddy might be applicable. She is pretty sure on the outside people have clearly labeled it as that, but she knows what they are is more than that. They're a thing and she thinks she's okay with that.
However in the weeks that followed the night she moved into her place, Jax has a key to her home and a space in her dressers. And more often than not, she wakes up with him sliding into bed late at night. His arms would wrap around her and he would sleep or sometimes insistent kisses would wake her up that would always lead to more and he would help her fall asleep again.
In the mornings, she would make him breakfast and ask about his night or day. Hell she was even washing his clothes and buying him things for her place. In the evenings, she would make dinner and he would even help with the dishes. Afterwards, they would watch TV either it be a movies, TV show, or the news. Most night – every night – he would put her to bed. It was all very domestic for something they weren't making the moves to define.
She didn't even know if she wanted to define it. But this thing they had was a routine.
If they made the moves to make this something more – to label it – it meant calling attention to the things they both choose to ignore. She never makes comments on how he will disappear for days mostly with no warning. If she doesn't catch him packing things from her place, she doesn't know he is leaving. Sometimes she is bothered by the disappearing act. She doesn't need to know where he is going, but it would be nice to know that he is going somewhere. But she assumes Jax isn't used to having to answer to someone. Likes the freedom to do as he pleases and sometimes she thinks he might not even be out of Charming. He could be at the clubhouse doing God's know what. She usually gets her answer if he comes back and sleeps for 12 hours.
But when he doesn't sleep like he has slipped into a coma, she isn't stupid. She may not be immersed in the Life and just because she seems to be a constant bed partner for Jax she knows that most likely she isn't the only one.
She knows it comes to the territory with the life he leads. She knows that Life is filled with women on a platter for them just like she knows Feds are a constant threat to the men.
For the sake of her own peace of mind, she doesn't ask about the other women that keep him company. It wasn't as if he was throwing them in her face. If she wanted to be naïve she might believe he wasn't sleeping with anyone.
But he had a life she couldn't find the courage to ask about and at this point was fine in not knowing.
She had her own life outside of him too. Just like she wasn't going to make the first move he wasn't either. So he doesn't ask her where she goes on weekends when he's gone or when she thinks he is. Sometimes there are weekend trips to visit Payton at college and experience some college partying. She attends a few frat parties with no thought of consequences. And after a night of partying and she finds him sitting on her couch watching TV, he doesn't question how drinks weren't the only things her lipstick stained.
It's weird as she used to be a girl that valued fidelity. She knows that she still does, but she and Jax aren't normal. Sure she enjoys his company and is a great lay, but she's young and being with him means accepting responsibilities – burdens – she doesn't want to consider. She doesn't want to tackle them on. And right now what they are works for them, but she knows eventually it's not.
A few months later, they are eating a small breakfast of cereal and toast. She had worked 2nd shift at the diner the previous night and Jax had coming strolling in her place an hour later. She is surprised that he isn't sleeping for 12 hours as she hadn't seen him in two days.
And she can tell he is tired as he slowly eats and his eyes are red and bleary.
"Jax, you need to go back to sleep." She tells him softly.
He looks up at her and smiles as he shakes his head. "Nah, I can survive a couple more minutes. I wanted to see you before you left for school."
Her heart flutters slightly as she gives him a smile as she finishes her bowl of cereal. "So anything happen while I was gone?" He asks her before he drinks the milk of out his own bowl before he grabs her to finish it.
She shakes her head. "Just the usual, but I was invited to Donna's baby shower." She informs him.
Jax doesn't seem surprised by the news. She doesn't know why he would be as it was common knowledge that she and Donna were friends. As she thinks about it she finds it slightly strange that despite her, Jax, Donna, and Opie all knowing one another they had yet to hang out. With that realization dawning on her she doesn't know why it bothers her so much.
"You going?" He asks her as his blues eyes connect with her green ones.
"Yeah," she replies and her eyes search his for something.
Anything.
She hopes maybe he can see some of her irritation or confusion. The uncertainty of what they mean to each other can be put on the line. And Aubrey has never had this before with another guy. Everything was always so straight forward. Or maybe really she doesn't want to come to the realization that all of this with Jax is all about sex. It's all about the maybes.
…
Aubrey is shocked that the baby shower isn't being thrown at the clubhouse where there is space and is always the go to place for most SAMCRO sanctioned functions. Instead, it's being thrown at Gemma Teller-Morrow's house, the house Jax grew up in.
The house where he took his first steps, learned to talk, eat, laugh, and play. Where Gemma nursed him and groomed him to be the man he was today. She was going into a place that was scared to Jax and fundamental to his being. She was going to get a glimpse of him that he hadn't taken the steps to show her yet.
After all, she is going to be meeting his mother and she can only assume Gemma knows where Jax spends most of his nights these days.
For the first time, in a long time, she feels nervous.
Donna welcomes her with open arms and Aubrey thinks the mother to be looks relieved she had finally arrived.
Before Donna whisks her away to meet people, Aubrey can say she is surprised the place isn't decked out in pink Reapers since Donna is having a girl. Instead, it looks very traditional with hues of pink and grey. Silk flowers decorate the place along with balloons and fancy glassware. There isn't a Reaper in sight.
Aubrey can say that she is surprised that it only took a year and a half for Donna to become pregnant. She knows most people in Charming thought the small brunette had married her because she was pregnant. However as the months passed and no baby bump in sight, Donna had disapproved the notion of a shotgun wedding and proved that she and Opie got married for love. Aubrey thinks Donna got pregnant at the right time as the two of them will be finishing school at the end of spring. Donna will luckily have the baby by then and she knows that she plans to have the summer off before looking for a job. But still Aubrey can't imagine being 21 with a baby and here Donna is married and creating a family.
Donna introduces her to most of the girls there from a April Hobart, the unfortunate woman that Kyle ended up marrying after knocking her up with a kid. Luann Delaney, who owns the local adult entertainment studio, and is married to an Otto Delaney currently in prison. Next she met, Mary Winston, Opie's mother, who didn't seem that thrilled to be in Charming. There were of course some people from high school and school there. And she notices that Donna doesn't go out of her way to introduce some of the young girls that are following Gemma around like servants.
And it's a while before she is formally introduced to Gemma.
Everyone in Charming knows who Gemma Teller-Morrow is. Gemma is the most important citizen and some say the reason why the MC had decided to make its roots in the small town.
She had spoken to Gemma before as she did buy the occasional carton of eggs from her dad and when the biker matriarch would throw her Taste of Charming festivals and they would engage in small talk.
Now this is different.
Aubrey didn't know what Jax was telling his mother about them or his life, but she assumes Gemma knows as she feels her eyes on her for most of the night. Aubrey doesn't hide from the scrutiny either. She keeps her head held high. Besides, it was no secret how involved Gemma was in Jax's life.
It wasn't surprising considering that sadly Gemma had lost Thomas, Jax's younger brother, so young. But it was well known that if someone was seeing Jax they were also seeing his mother. When he was with Tara it was well known that her and Gemma did not get along. Aubrey was slightly confused how Jax even managed to deal with the two women in his life at each other's throats. She would think he would try to make life easier by making them come to a middle – compromise.
So she knows before the party is over and she leaves that there will be an inevitable showdown. And it does happen.
As the party winds down, Aubrey volunteers to stay back and help with the clean-up. Mostly because Donna seems to really want her there and the tiny pregnant brunette doesn't seem to want to be left alone with Gemma or what Donna called croweaters.
Aubrey is in the kitchen drying some dishes when she hears Gemma's heel clank against her hardwood floor.
"Thanks for staying and helping. You didn't have too." Gemma tells her.
Aubrey responds with a smile. "It's no problem glad I could help."
Gemma nods her head as she pulls out a joint. "You mind if a smoke?"
"Your house although the pregnant woman might," Aubrey points out.
"Right." Gemma says as she slides the joint back in her cigarette case. "So where did your parents go this year for their elaborate vacation?"
"Bali. They'll be gone for three weeks."
"Wow. Must be nice with all that money. I bet my son is loving that."
Aubrey licks her lips as she looks up at Gemma, whose dark brown eyes are boring into hers. She suspects most people show fear when it comes to Gemma. They can't hide that they are intimidated. If anything Gemma probably feeds off that and it is how she manages to probably get the upper hand on a lot of things. But Aubrey stands tall and she eyes Jax's mother with a calculating eye.
"It's a good thing I cut my umbilical a long time ago. Besides my parents don't get to dictate who I see, I am capable of making those decisions myself."
"So you're seeing my son now?" Gemma counters.
"Seeing or fucking, depends which you prefer. Didn't think you would want to know that detail though."
Gemma's lips tug up, "Must be pretty serious if he stays at your place."
"What can I say? He's a great lay and he likes to cuddle." Aubrey says flashing her teeth. "Who am I to deny him that?"
She watches as an impressed smirk comes across Gemma's face. "You should have my son bring you to the clubhouse Friday night."
Aubrey isn't sure if Gemma is genuine with her request. She only nods her head at Gemma who switches the topic and asks about how school is for her. It's a total switch in tone, but for some reason she feels she might have impressed Gemma a little.
It's late when Jax makes an appearance at her place that night. She's in bed reading a book when he staggers in her room. From the way he is leaning against the doorframe and the easy grin plastered on his face, she can tell he is buzzed.
She has yet to see Jax drunk, but she has heard through the grapevine she is lucky as he is known to be a moody depressed drunk.
So she has only been exposed to the happy flirty buzz he manages to obtain despite copious amounts of alcohol.
Aubrey puts her book down as she looks at him confused. "How in the hell do you managed to get buzzed at a diaper party?"
He shrugs his shoulders as he slides his kutte off.
"So I take it you had fun?" She asks as he walks to the bed.
He doesn't respond as he launches at her and presses a burning kiss to her lips, throat, and chest while he paws at her shirt trying to lift it up. For a moment she allows herself to get lost in the sensation. After all, she wasn't lying to Gemma when she said her son was a great lay. Aubrey was surprised how generous of a lover Jax was and when he was buzzed he was unrestrained. He didn't hold back from her. It was almost scary how intense it could be when he would let loose especially considering the differences in their size and how well Jax was tuned into her body. Jax could make her turn into nothing but a pile of sensation, but he didn't need to be intoxicated to do that.
She thinks she might be a weak bitch for him to only need to kiss her in a few spots to turn her into a puddle.
He only manages to get her shirt up over her chest and he seems satisfied she isn't wearing a bra as he latches onto her hardening rosebuds and his fingers begin toying with her sleep shorts.
But she pushes him back slightly as she wants to talk to him before she loses the courage and she feels slightly guilty as him buzzed has for sure loosened his tongue and she's going to use that to her advantage.
"What's wrong?" He asks breathlessly as his eyes are black with a small rim of blue. Aubrey thinks she should just wait until the morning or maybe afterwards. But she doesn't.
"Your mom invited me to the clubhouse Friday night." She tells him.
His face goes blank and he moves off her and onto his back. He takes a deep breath and swipes a hand down his face that seems to suck out any trace of alcohol in his system. She fixes her shirt as she moves up on the bed and wraps her arms around her legs.
"Are you upset?" She asks quietly. She's worried that she has overstepped some boundary or maybe his mother did. She just knows that her attending one of these parties would change things between them. And she fears that maybe Jax is fine with her being a booty call.
He shakes his head as he stares at the ceiling.
"Do you want me to go?"
Jax sits up and doesn't look at her. "It's not I don't want you to go." He insists. "My life…you're considered an outsider and the last time I brought an outsider in it obviously didn't end well." He explains referencing to Tara. Aubrey doesn't know how she feels about that answer or somehow he feels that she shares some qualities with his ex. Mostly she is insulted that he doesn't trust her enough to be able to make a decision about him – them – on her own ground for her own reasons.
And it hits her that Jax doesn't trust her.
He could feel whatever he did towards her, but none of that mattered if he didn't trust her. It burns her more than she would like as she thinks that she can trust Jax. She trusts him enough that she feels safe with him and allows him in her home.
"Besides," he adds as he faces her and his grabs her ankle as he pulls her down to him and finds his way between her thighs again, "I'm selfish and want you all to myself." And he's oblivious to her inner turmoil as he pumps into her and whispering how she's so sweet and feels so good around him.
But she isn't any better as she lets him and meets his hips thrust to thrust. She's starting to think she likes him more than she should.
Aubrey never attends a clubhouse party.
…
During one of her busier shifts at the diner, an older gentlemen with salt and pepper hair in a business casual suit approaches her. She almost brushes him off as he stares and smiles at her for far too long as she bustles around him in serving tables. She's irritated when he does sit in a section that isn't hers that he requests her anyways. Her irritation spikes even more when he pulls out a badge stamped with the ATF emblem on it and insists it's a pressing matter. He doesn't even take no for an answer.
The last thing she wants is to lose tips during the lunch rush because of some asshole. However, she decides that it's better to not piss off the government. She's not surprised with the line of questioning. Agent Kohn as he introduces himself is curious about her relationship with the Sons of Anarchy, more specifically Jax Teller.
Aubrey always thought that her heart would pump more fiercely against her chest or she would be sweating if ever faced with the Feds, but it doesn't happen.
And it's not like she even has to lie to the man. She doesn't know about any illegal activity the Sons do. She didn't know shit about Jax's club business. If the Feds are sniffing around the club, they would already know that unless she is getting her oil changed, her feet are never on the lot.
She knows that this ATF agent knows that too. She wonders if the Feds give seminars on sexual harassment as she is close to punching him in the face. He invades her personal space multiple times during his questions and seems to not be able to keep his eyes above her neckline.
He leaves her with a card that she debates on throwing away, but she stuffs it in her apron and goes to finish her shift.
When she goes home she expects Jax will stroll his way in that night. She wouldn't be surprised that the news of a Fed questioning her hadn't already made it's way to him. So she waits. She takes a shower and munches on leftovers from the diner. She debates on calling him. It's rare that they ever do call each other as usually when she needs him he is there and if he wants her he knows where she is at. But he doesn't and it's nearing 7 o'clock and she decides to head to the clubhouse.
As she heads into Buckhead, SAMCRO's corner, and onto the lot, she's surprised by how many people seem to still be there. She spots Gemma's escalade on the lot as well as Jax's bike along with what seems to be every member's in a nice neat line. There are a few people hanging outside that throw her questionable looks, but none approach her. Instead, they whisper into each other's ears and she hates that more than anything. She ignores it as she reaches the door of the clubhouse.
She wasn't sure what she expected.
But her imagination didn't need to stray far to know that the clubhouse would look like a bar as well as a strip club. Aubrey is slightly glad that she didn't come down here in her sweats and actually thought to put on some jean shorts along with a crop top. And she's surprised men even throw her a few glances despite women only clad in their panties are walking around.
She thinks at this point she should have called Jax.
She spots Gemma first who is at the bar grabbing some drinks. Gemma shows clear surprise on her face at her being there.
"What are you doing here, sweetheart?" She asks with a raised eyebrow as she takes in her attire. It's clear she didn't come to party or really impress despite it being enough to turn a few heads.
"I'm looking for Jax." She replies. As soon as the words leave her mouth she spots the blonde biker as a man moves from behind Gemma. Jax is sitting by a wall filled with mug shots as a skinny bleach blonde hangs off him.
Gemma looks back at the scene and back at her, but doesn't say anything. She only shoots her a challenging stare.
Aubrey strolls casually over to Jax, who is all but oblivious to her approach until she is standing before him. His eyes widen a bit, but he masks his surprise completely. Yet, he makes no move to move the skank off him.
She is also aware of Gemma's presence behind her as well as a few eyes waiting to see what happens. It seems despite her not ever coming here people were aware of who she was to Jax.
"I need to talk to you alone." She tells him, their eyes clashing.
Jax doesn't respond. Instead the blonde shank throws a look over her shoulder and sneers at her. "He's occupied honey. Let a real woman take care of Jax."
Aubrey can't hide her blatant shock at the woman and Jax only looks at her challengingly. What's worse is she knows she is being played into a game. She's being tested. Aubrey takes a deep breath. Aubrey has never been in a fight. She's been in a few heated arguments with girls in high school and maybe a shove. But she never has gotten into a physical fight and she wasn't about to get in her first one over a man.
But with her dad being a firefighter, he had made sure she had some self-defense skills. She gives the girl a sweet smile before she grabs the girl by her extensions and pulls her off Jax. The girl screeches as Aubrey brings her down to her knees and pulls her head back as if she is going to punch her. Aubrey is close to doing it, but she isn't about to fight a girl over Jax.
"Next time you think you can talk to me that way, you're going to regret the day your Daddy taught you how to suck dick." She threatens the girl before pushing her forward. She almost cringes as the girl's private are exposed by the micro mini she is wearing sans underwear. Aubrey knows she needs to leave as now she just feels disgusted and repulsed that Jax obviously is fucking these type of the women on the sly.
She turns to him with narrowed eyes as she digs into her pocket and flings the Agent's card at him. "He came to visit me today. Thought you would like to know." She tells him quickly so she can make a quick escape, but it is thwarted by Jax, who grabs her.
And in the back of her mind, she knows better than to make a scene in front of his brothers. It's not even an outlaw thing; it's just a man thing. More so a relationship thing, after all, you never want to air dirty laundry in front of others to wash.
He steps over the blonde girl and takes her into another room with a large table with the club's emblem on and closes the door. She notices none of the man go to aid the girl still shaken up on the floor only other indecently clad woman do. She almost feels sorry for the girl and her anger is now directed towards Jax.
As soon as he closes it and turns around she slaps him - hard.
He clenches his jaw as he looks at her, but he seems to accept that he deserved it. He's lucky all she is doing is slapping him.
It's quiet between them and Aubrey isn't too sure what the fuck she is feeling towards Jax at the moment.
"What he say to you?" He asks tightly as he holds the card up. It seems business comes before personal matters.
"Don't worry I didn't say anything. It's not like I know anything anyway. You've kept me in the your perfectly encased bubble wrap." She counters as she moves to go to the door, but Jax blocks her.
His voice is small – remorseful. "Bre?"
"What?"
"We need to talk about –"
"No we don't." Aubrey grinds out. She doesn't want to dissect this. She doesn't want to even acknowledge it and worse of all she thinks she might cry. Not because of the fact she is hurt, but for the fact she had allowed this to go one for so long under her nose especially in Charming. She feels stupid for allowing him into her place and life. Stupid for caring. The worst is everyone seems to know about her and she knows none of them. They know he goes home to her after fucking his whores and she wonders why. Why even waste her time if he had side pieces that were willing and waiting.
"Go back to fucking your whores, Jax." She tells him as she opens the door and leaves.
…
Jax thankfully keeps his distance. He never calls or shows up, but his things are still at her place. Yet, it's been weeks since their encounter at the Clubhouse and not one encounter. Yet, she does notice how Opie or some of his club's member always stop by during her shift. She doesn't know why and doesn't care to ask.
Instead, she focuses on school and she can't believe it's been nearly two years since she graduated high school and she's almost done with her dental hygienist certification. In a few weeks she's graduating. But through her work and school, she still finds herself missing Jax for some god forsaken reason.
And she hates it, him, and herself for it.
Hates that he somehow wormed his way into her and her life.
She doesn't like she misses waking up into his arms. His smile and when he laughs it almost sounds like Goofy to her if it's a real belly laugh. Hates she misses watching him give himself diabetes with how much sugar he put into his coffee. She even misses the lingering smell of his cigarette and motor oil on her sheets.
It's utterly pathetic in her head.
But she decides this distance – space – may be for the best. Jax lives a life she may never understand.
Nonetheless the distance and silence become too much.
Jax isn't the only man in Charming and she spends the following weeks pursing other options.
The first is Steve Graham, a boy at the tech school studying to become a welder. He's nice and sweet. Tall, blue eyes, and brown hair. But she finds him too stiff a little bit boring yet it isn't surprising considering he comes from a strict Roman Catholic family. His mother practically called her a whore for showing her ankles.
Next comes Richard, a boxer who trains at Lumpy's gym, he's a little bit serious with no sense of humor, but she doesn't mind. They only last three weeks as he can't help himself from asking her for nudes when he wakes up in the morning and before he goes to sleep at night. She wasn't ashamed to send him her mom's information to help with his apparent addiction.
After him, she takes a break from the dating scene as she graduates along with Donna from school. She finally gets a taste of Freedom from school and as a present, she and her parents go to Disneyland. Luckily, it coincides with a small bash Donna was throwing for her graduation. The last thing she wants is to run into Jax.
After that, she turns 22, and heads to visit Payton for a change of scenery and a new hunting ground. After a night of drinking, she ends up plastered and hooking up with a hot British guy. She's a little embarrassed the morning after when she realizes the blonde long hair, blue eyes, and fair skin is quiet similar to a certain someone.
Her next few dates are step up by her mother. One is with a boy named Dustin. He's dark and a little chubby, but makes her laugh as he aspires to be a comedian. In the end, they decide to remain friends.
Following Dustin, she meets Eric, tall and dark with brown eyes. He has just moved to Charming and works for Hale as an accountant. He's smart and says all the right things, but a little pushy and after the third date of him trying to come into her place she breaks things off.
Mitchell, works at the local butcher's shop, was kind at first, but couldn't stop asking her questions about Jax and once she found him going through her phone she promptly ended that and changed her locks.
Following Mitchell, she meets Carter, a local firefighter, and she really likes him. She met him through her dad. He's mixed with deep green eyes and a blinding smile. She makes sure with him they go on dates on the edge of Charming or in places the club doesn't have tight bonds with. He takes her to the Museums, amusement parks, and right now they are on their official fifth date at the drive in watching Titanic of all movies when her phone begins to buzz wildly and is informed Donna is having her baby. Finally as Donna is induced at 42 weeks.
She doesn't think anything of it to have Carter tag along to St. Thomas. Donna has met him once as he was passing by when she and Donna were having lunch. If anything she was thinking about asking to see if Opie and Donna wanted to double.
It isn't until she gets into the waiting room, reserved for family and friends, that she sees Jax in almost four months. He's eyes widen at the sight of her, but she notices they narrow behind her where Carter is standing. She makes sure to leave a wide berth between her and Jax, but she isn't rude that she doesn't greet Gemma and his club. And they all greet her warmly even Gemma.
Of course, though when Donna is ready for visitors, she requests her and Jax first after the grandparents.
It's awkward and tense between her and Jax, but she doesn't let it distract from the joy of a baby being born. She greets Opie and Donna with wide smiles as she congratulates them. And her arms shake as Opie's large hands pass his daughter, Eleanor Grace Winston, Ellie for short, into her arms.
Even with all her cousins and their babies, she is still amazed by the miracle of childbirth. It still astounds her with what the female body is capable of. She smiles at the baby that is a solid proof of the love Opie and Donna have for each other.
And she can't help, but risk a glance at Jax, who is standing beside her, admiring his niece. He has a contemplative look on his face that is hidden beneath his smile. His hand comes up and cups the baby girl's small head and she comes to the realization that she'll never have what Donna and Opie have with Jax.
A sour feeling arises in her at the notion she might love Jax.
…
She is coming back from a date with Carter when she finds Jax waiting for her outside of her apartment. He's hood is up on his head while he smokes a cigarette with a whole bottle of Jack next to him. He stands to his full height as she bids goodbye to Carter, who is looking back and forth between the two. After all, she had full disclosure about past relationships and considering how Charming is, she would rather have him hear about Jax through her than someone else. She shoos him with the assurance she is fine before she turns back to face Jax.
With the scowl present on his face, she assumes he doesn't appreciate the presence of another man in her life. She could laugh at the thought of him being mad she was seeing someone.
She ignores him as she makes her way up the steps to her place. He follows behind quietly as she unlocks the door. He doesn't bother for an invitation as he strolls right on it.
"Still seeing him huh?" Jax questions her, breaking the silence between the two, as she throws her purse on the couch.
Aubrey folds her arms across her chest. "What are you doing here?" She demands. It's been almost five months and she will be damned if he can just waltz back in here now because he is jealous.
Yet she can't deny that now as he stands a few feet away from her all suffocating and filling up the gaps that had grown between them.
He sighs as he stuffs his hands in his pockets. "I missed you."
Aubrey shakes her head. "Got bored of your whores didn't you?"
She isn't stupid. She knows that he probably had plenty of women to keep him company.
He shakes his head at her almost as if he is biting his tongue to keep himself from rising to her bait. Instead, he walks closer to her and his hand comes up to her hair down in loose waves that he twirls between his fingers before they trail her cheek.
"I'm sorry," he tells her and she knows he means it and it's enough for her walls to crumble. She hates the hold he somehow has over her. She hates him she tells herself.
So she lets the outlaw biker take her to bed. She'll deal with the emotional repercussions in the morning. Right now, she just wants him and to feel whole.
…
When she wakes up all aches in all the right places, she instantly feels regret and guilt. Just because he's sorry doesn't change anything. If he was really sorry he wouldn't have waited five months to fix whatever got messed up between them. She rolls out of bed quietly not to wake him up. She takes a quick shower to wash away the evidence – his touch. She almost cries thinking about Carter and knows she just messed up whatever they had.
Exiting the shower, she finds Jax awake in bed smoking a cigarette. It seems he is at least perceptive of the emotional and mental war she's going through because of him as he can't manage to meet her eyes.
She leans against the wall as she doesn't trust herself to be near him. "What am I to you?"
Jax sighs as he leans up further more on the bed. "I like you, Aubrey."
"Well that's reassuring," she mutters, which earns her a glare.
"It's not like you've been explicit about what you want from me."
Aubrey laughs in disbelief. "Jax, you were practically living here."
"I don't know what the fuck you want from me Aubrey." He spits. "You can't be mad at me for fucking other women when you did your own shit." He remarks bitterly.
"It's not about the other women, Jax," she tells him. And she may have kissed a few guys here and there, but she never slept with them.
Jax snorts.
"It's not." She insists. Right now, it's not. They could tackle that subject another time.
"Then what is it?"
"You don't trust me." She tells him simply.
"How'd you figure that?"
"Not once during whatever we were did you trust me enough to enter your world. Instead, you created a cozy space for yourself where the two didn't intersect." She tells him.
"Ever hear of not bringing work home." He drawls as he stubs out his cigarette.
"I can't do this." Aubrey says at his flippant response. "I won't."
"Then let me make it easy for ya."
…
Aubrey thinks this time Jax won't be coming back. He left pissed off from her place, but not before pressing a bruising kiss to her lips and slamming the door. Yet as the third week rolls around she thinks she is going to have to make the initiative to get in contact with him. However, she would like to avoid the clubhouse at all costs.
So instead she decides to visit Donna and see if she can extract some information from the new mother considering her husband is Jax's friend.
Donna seems happy for the visitor. Opie is off on some work trip apparently and Donna reveals that she doesn't find Gemma much company. It also seems that Donna couldn't wait to plop Ellie in her arms.
It's only been a couple months and the baby girl has grown considerably and the generic baby look is slowly morphing into a mixture of Donna and Opie. However, right now all she sees is Opie in the baby. She tells Donna that who mutters an oh god at that prospect and makes her laugh. Soon they talk about potential jobs. Aubrey is still working at the diner as she applies to local dental offices. She thinks her best bet might be finding a job in Lodi or Stockton.
It leads to the perfect moment for her to ask about Jax as Donna asks if she is seeing anyone. Aubrey does disclose she did break things off with Carter. Donna correctly assumes it was because of Jax. Donna tells her it's unsurprising as Jax is known for being quiet possessive and jealous. It's then Donna drops the bombshell that Jax is serving time for assault with a deadly weapon. Donna lets it slipped he apparently attacked an ATF Agent named Kohn.
She doesn't know how to process that information so she decides it's best not to dwell on it.
Instead, she thinks six months is enough time to purge Jax from her system. In the same week, she hears back from a potential job that wants to hire her. It's in Charming and she doesn't mind especially as they give her a hiring bonus.
With a new job and working on a new beginning, her first set of business is moving out of her apartment. Since she was washing his clothes, Jax had decided to take over paying her rent; she would have fought him on it if it wasn't for the fact the club had Floyd in their pocket. And two if he wanted to pay it why argue. Thirdly, he had already went over her and paid for it before telling her. But her name was still on the lease and it gave her extra money.
And she is able to afford a nice four bedroom home with the help of her parents. It was one story with a spacious front and back yard. It had a double garage attached to the house. There was even an added bonus of a porch on the front and back.
It was a little big especially just for her, but in Charming it was rare for anybody to make multiple moves. It was better to have a house to build something in. One day she would maybe have her own family – children – filling in the rooms.
And she's doing good with not thinking about Jax.
Instead, she focuses on work. She works on her house in designing it with the help of her mom. She spends time with her family as she goes to visit or they make weekend visits to Charming.
She goes on a few dates, but nothing takes. Either the date is a dud or she finds herself always becoming nauseous and sick having to cancel.
Her only setback is a letter Opie discreetly gives her one day. He's been inside almost three months and she thinks Jax really likes to drag when it comes to his emotions. She doesn't want to read it and she contemplates burning it on multiple occasions, but eventually she has too.
She tried to put it off as a change of season. It was getting a little colder out and she was always due for her one bout of sickness in the year. She was at a new job and despite being a sterile building; she was around a lot of new people and cleaning their mouths. She was bound to catch the sniffles.
But she can't ignore her aversion to certain foods. How she gets winded easily or susceptible to bouts of dizziness. When she's over at Donna's and holds a four month old Ellie, it nags and nags that she decides her being in denial isn't going to help anyone.
So she buys a pregnancy test at the drug store already knowing the answer.
At the doctor's appointment, she isn't surprised to know that she is 14 weeks pregnant – 3 months. She debates on how and when to tell Jax. A part of her doesn't even want to and even worse she doesn't even contemplate abortion as she couldn't snuff this piece of her and Jax out.
So she opens his letter that states why he is locked up and his apology. She blames the pregnancy hormones for the tears and who knew fucking Jax Teller knew his way around a pencil. And her response probably isn't going to be what he wants it to be.
She isn't going to let her heart bleed out for him anyone because now it isn't about them, but their baby.
She doesn't acknowledge his previous letter, she only gives him the news about their child and that she would like to know what he would like to do. It isn't until she looks at the sonogram that she realizes that he may not want to be involved in the pregnancy. He may not want to even claim the kid and she realizes that choice is all his own. She won't fault him for it.
She slips the copy of the sonogram hoping that it will make it real for him or something.
She gives Opie the letter when Donna isn't around.
Jax has three months left in his sentence and three months to decide what he is going to do.
