...

What?

*Mmmnnmph!*

Here, let me untie you and go to the next scene before you have a chance to say anything.


you were stalking my best friend, right?

YOU MOTHER******* WERE!

i might almost forgive you,

IF YOU MOTHER******* DIE!

Tee hee 3

honk

HONK

honk

HONK

B33 33p! nyo!

B33

Strife!


i told you about stairs bro.

i told you dawg!

8ut, what does it mean?

It means Dave is making bad comics on purpose.

I know that!


HONK!

Mariee has been slain. Finally! I hated her!

B33 B833

HONK!

B33 nyope not dealing with this ****

A few hours later, Davepetasprite^2 manages to lock Gamzee in another fridge with only three (3) missing fingers.

MOTHER**** ******* ***** ********** *** **** ****** ******* ***-

Davepetasprite^2's plush cat rump communicator is ringing.

IS SHE GONE? PLEASE TELL ME SHE'S ******* GONE.

B33 if you mean that troll chick who had the hots for you, then yeah, gamzee killed her

B33 B;33

JEGUS, FINALLY.

WAIT... GAMZEE KILLED HER?!

B33 yep but dont worry hes in the fridge

(DiStAnT HONK)


I have a recommend8ion, ma'am.

Yeah?

Aranea: What if we format the dialogue like this?

CGA: Sure, why not? Makes things less confusing.


Karkat: YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD BE SMART? IF YOU DISCARDED THAT REVOLTING CORPSE BEFORE THE HUMAN POLICE ARRIVE AND MISTAKE YOU FOR THE ******* MURDERER! OR IS YOUR THINKPAN TOO ****** TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 wait wouldnt i get my dna on purr thus making me look like i killed some ***** just to be a little cat ****

Karkat: YOU DO HAVE A POINT. I CAN'T BELIEVE I ALMOST CONVINCED YOU TO DO SOMETHING SO ******* STUPID! IT MAKES ME WANT TO PROJECTILE VOMIT IN MY MOUTH.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 whoa tmi

Davepetasprite^2: B33 also the police are here

Karkat: ****!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 they think im responsible probably

Karkat: HOW DO YOU ******* KNOW?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 theyre looking at me weird

Davepetasprite^2: B33 its like they think im some crow that i stole some old *****s wedding ring then used it to purrpose to a police guy whos always knows every case when in reality im as innocent as a cat crow human troll sword sprite thing that did nothing wrong

Karkat: YOU ARE A CAT-CROW-HUMAN-TROLL-SWORD-SPRITE-THING YOU BLITHERING FECULENT ****HOLE.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i just said that

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i may not be the real dave but i still know how to logic

Karkat: **** YOU AND NEVERMIND! I'LL BE THERE AS SOON AS I CAN! YOU ARE STILL AT THE SAME PLACE AS BEFORE, RIGHT?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 yeah


Sollux: hand2 up where ii can 2ee them... waiit davepeta2priite?! hurry up and get out of here!

Generic Police Guy: Arrest them! We can't afford to lose any potential suspects!

Sollux: 2top! ****... ii'm two late...

Davepetasprite^2 was tasered and now it's actually too late.

Sollux: **** thii2 ***** ii'm out.


SWEET 'LATER' BEING ARRESTED MONTAGE! (yay)


Your name is Xendra Darine and you are a gary stu who also has no personality and has a dark and depressing backstory involving dead lusii. Also, like Solar Sans the Ske- I mean Solar Sands' oc XD Man, you end every sentence with XD. Oh wow. You are also dressed as a playboy bunny and have a six pack because WHY NOT; MORE SEXY OCS THE BETTER!

Xendra: Oh wow XD Peopelele Getin arrested XD

Sollux: (wee woo wee woo wee woo wee woo etc.)

Xendra: oh WOW XD Ill halp cux I'm OP XD tURNIP mon AwAy! XDD


Aranea: W8! Where are you t8ing me?!

CGA: To the main plot!

Aranea: But i thought you needed me to censor foul language!

CGA: Nope! Can do that myself! Bye! *kicks Aranea out of AuthorPlane2000*

Aranea: CUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEE YYYYYYYYOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU!


Karkat: THAT NOOKWHIFFING ****** WASTE OF BULL**** LIED TO ME!

Karkat RageEvolved into Pantskat and called Davepetasprite^2.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 sup

Pantskat: **** YOU!

Suddenly, Pineapples! (We are number one!)

Davepetasprite^2: B33 oh wow its raining pineapples

Pantskat: DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT WITH IMAGINARY FRUITS FROM FRUITY RUMPUS ***HOLE FACTORY!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 halfish of me is pretty sure pineapples were real

Pantskat: HALFISH OF YOU IS WRONG!

Aranea: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Pantskat: WHAT IN THE EVERLIVING **** WAS THAT?!

Davepetasprite^2: B33 some ***** fell on the car and the police got out to investigate it

Pantskat: IS IT TEREZI OR VRISKA?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 she looks kinda like vriska, but not quite

Pantskat: YOU CAN TELEPORT, CAN'T YOU?

Davepetasprite^2: B33 i think the police will notice me tryi- nevermind some random dude just beat them up

Xendra: turnop PINCH XD

The Final Fantasy victory theme starts playing.

Xendra: Oh wow XD I TAK purity ladle naow XD

In shock, Pantskat ConfusedDevolved back into Karkat. Also, Davepetasprite^2 teleported to where Karkat is now while holding a pineapple. This trollfic makes no sense! Yay!

Karkat: ... OH, MY, GOG. GAMZEE MUST HAVE SPIKED MY DRINK THIS MORNING.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 wat

Karkat: KNOCK ME OUT.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 dude no

Karkat: WHERE DOING THIS.

Karkat: WHERE MAKING THIS HAPPEN.

Davepetasprite^2: B33 no have gcatavrosprite do it


Gcatavrosprite: aHHH, aHHH, aCHOO,


Davepetasprite^2: B33 *davepetasprite meows worryingly due to having a sick nasty brain fart*

Karkat: SHUT THE **** UP. I'M GOING TO GET DAVE.

Real Dave Ex-Machina!

Dave: what the ****.


Xendra: YOlo XD I Am awsum XD ChEEvk 0uT my smw33ttttt mucles vagiga vagigagaga BROSEPH XD

Kanaya: I Inquire You To Please Leave Me Alone. Also, Leave That Girl You're Carrying Here. I Feel Bad For Her.

Xendra: No WAy babe XD LETS make OUT XD

Kanaya: I Have A Girlfriend.

Xendra: HUmpitie bumtitty XD

Suddenly, chainsaw! Also Kanaya is going to use it to kill this pleb noob.


Sollux: what ii2 iit thii2 tiime?

Generic Police Guy: XD Man gave us a boo boo. *sobs*

Sollux: go home, you're drunk.

Generic Police Guy: You were there too!

Sollux: ii left early, remember?

Generic Police Guy: Waaaah!


Future Sollux: they're all dead!


Sollux: calm down! ii 2wear you're two much two handle 2ometiime2.

Generic Police Guy: Wah wah wah wahhy wah wah!

Sollux: you're more melodramatic than kk!


Future Sollux: iit'2 all my fault!


Sollux: why diid ii thiink iit was a good iidea to become a poliiceman?

Generic Police Guy 2: Free wifi?

Sollux: be2iide2 that.


Future Sollux: *****! they all got 2hot!


Generic Police Guy: *sniff* B-because you love us?

Sollux: ii 2aiid go home!

Generic Police Guy: Ok, fine. *sob*


Future Sollux: who would do thii2 *****?!


Generic Police Guy: *mumbling* I hate you so much... *mumbling*

Sollux: what wa2 that?

Generic Police Guy: N-nothing!


Future Sollux: ii2 thii2, haiir?


What is Dave doing here?

What will happen to Davepetasprite^2?

Is Kanaya going to kill Xendra for being a womanizer?

What is Future Sollux talking about?

Find out next time on Homestuck Ball Z!