A/N: Man, I just gotta love you guys!! So far, positive feedback has been fantastic and I'm pleased with the general outcome of the story. As of now, I'm posting this chapter and later, the fourth and final one. Just a heads up...
Disclaimer: Mr. Czuchry would be nice...
After the meeting, Rory and Jess sit on the gum-splattered cement steps of the church, the orange clouds just visible over top of the depilated New York City apartment buildings across the street. The last of the muggy air wraps around them, creating a false sense of comfort and a few gray pigeons perch on the telephone wires above, making the electrical cords threaten to sag in the middle.
The neighborhood that they're in may not be the richest, but children can play on the rusted swing sets without parents worrying about rapists or drive-by shootings; Rory can offer a slight smile to the bicyclist brushing by with take out boxes of Chinese food resting in the front wire basket fastened to the handle bars.
Her eyes are still red and puffy from her near breakdown during the AA meeting, yet she still bottles up great load of feelings and crams them to the back of her conscience in a knowing vain effort. Jess had always found a way to figure her out; it was just the way he was around her. However, is he still the same person? If so, why is she trying to hide everything? The gathering was let out early by Maria, mainly because she knew that people weren't exactly in the cooperating mood but also due to the fact Jess led Rory out the door before she had anything to say about it.
When he gets up off the steps, he brushes off his jeans and tells her that she has to go to the bookstore with him, she lashes out and starts crying and swearing at the man that she used to love, calling him an asshole and asking why he wasn't there when she needed him. She only gets angrier as Jess just stands there, letting her hit him. Rory dissolves into a sobbing heap when he saves her by grabbing her wrist and pulling her rather violently into the hard, warm wall of his chest after she sees the trail of blood running down his chin from the corner of his lip. His fingers tangle themselves in her hair and Rory's hands grasp the fabric of the shirt on his back, twisting it in her desperate hold.
He whispers that he's sorry, despite the fact that none of it is his fault.
--
The familiar click-click-click rings in Jess's ears as a bicycle peddles by with enough Chinese food to feed a small army and the rider smiles good-naturedly at them, "Evenin'," he says with a Southern accent.
"Hey," Rory returns, a sad smile on her face. Jess feels his skin prickle when she does this, the glow of the setting sun dancing off her hair. Even though she herself is royally fucked up, she finds a way to be gracious to others. That's one of the things that always drew him to her.
He notices the silence start to drag on, so he decides to do something about it, "I'm going back to the bookstore."
Jess isn't opaque to the fact that she pretends to ignore him and looks down at her fingernails, mumbling something about re-painting them.
"Rory."
"No," she says solidly, firm in her belief as she looks up at him, a thundercloud in her eyes.
Not even bothering to ask why, he stands up, a crick in his back from sitting on the cement steps for so long. He holds out his hand to her, "Let's go."
She shakes her head, "I don't want to."
"C'mon, you just can't care for something that much and then leave it behind like that."
He's shocked by the speed of how she gets off the stairs, but not the reality of the force of her arms shoving him back, "Yeah, Jess, isn't that just a fuckin' riot?" He can hear the strain in her voice as she says this, "My dad left me behind when I was born—"
"Well, he didn't—"
"You left me twice without saying even a sucky 'good-bye,' you asshole!" Rory growls, jabbing him in the chest with her index finger. He takes jots down a mental note that hypocrisy isn't exactly his strong point, "And now my mom!"
"Knowing her," he says softly, "She didn't have a decision in the matter." He tries laying a hand on her shoulder but she steps back from him.
That's when she hits him, her hand clenched in a fist that drives in a manic attempt at his chest, "She had a motherfucking choice!" she roars, tears steaming down her cheeks as she continues to pummel him, her nails leaving scratches on his arms. People look out their windows, wondering what all of the commotion is all about, "Why weren't you there, Jess?!"Rory yells, furious, when he doesn't answer her, "I had to do it by," she shoves him back, "my—"
Suddenly, he reaches forward, fiercely grabs her wrist and jerks her towards him, her burning and crying body colliding with his. Jess feels her chest heave and her lungs choke out as those same hands he held all those years ago clutch and seize the material of his shirt. Without the slightest restraint, his strong arms wrap around her back, causing her polo ride up and her searing skin to touch his calloused fingers, "I'm sorry..." he mumbles into her neck, "I had no idea..."
Breaking their embrace, Rory steps back, the faintest of all smiles on her face, "You've finally got it, Jess," she says, nodding, "That's just it...you've never had any idea at all, have you?"
His eyes looks down at his hands before putting them in his pockets, "I'll be in the bookstore for the next few hours," he says, his voice a low grumble in his throat, "You know which one."
The two of them walk off in their separate directions, but the same in the disappointment of themselves.
--
Jess pulls out his phone and hits a speed dial number which automatically dials his fiancé. He doesn't get a response after six rings, leaves a voicemail and lets out a deep breath. What am I doing? he asks himself repeatedly, not having the foggiest idea of what type of mess he's gotten his stupid ass into. Again, he calls Mandy. No answer. He shoves his phone in his jacket pocket, not in the mood to toddle about and act like a school boy.
Suddenly--
"Jess."
He fights the urge to smile, "Hey," he says, getting up off the ground. Rory Gilmore appears around the corner of a stack of her own books, her hand reaching out to the cover to the topmost one, her fingers leaving a trail through the veil of dust.
She glances at the blood drying on his lip, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he shakes his head then repeats it. "Don't be."
In an act the complete opposite of what he just did, she sits down on the concrete floor, her back resting against an old bookcase and her legs stretched out in front of her, crossed at the ankles, "We need to talk."
"Not necessarily. I mean, we could just read or grab a bite or something," he shrugs.
Rory makes eye contact, "I want to." She then makes a face, "More like I need to, I suppose."
He moves box of books, making room next to her. He sits down, one leg bent at the knee, the other straight. Like always. "Shoot," he says.
"At the beginning," she mumbles, making a poor attempt a humor, "is a good place to start, huh?"
"Usually," Jess smiles.
"Um..." she wrinkles her brow, "Five... (no, six?) years ago we..."
"Yeah."
"The next June, Logan proposed."
His smile falls and he spits back, "Yeah, well, I'm engaged."
Complete and total silence.
"I figured," she mutters, her blue eyes glancing towards him. She runs her fingers through her hair and places a book on her lap, reading the summary on the inside flap, "The brunette. The kid."
"His name's Jack," he says softly.
She shrugs, "Not a bad looking kid, either."
"So...you're married, huh?" Jess asks this while staring down at his hands instead of looking at her.
Her book falls closed.
"What?" he asks harshly, "Divorced already?"
"I said no."
"...oh."
"Surprised? Shocked, maybe?" she asks flatly, placing her books back in their respective piles and shouldering her purse.
"Where are you--?"
"I gotta go."
"Go? Go where?" he wonders out loud, his voice straining as he follows her out of the store.
She whirls back on him, "Away from you."
"Why?"
"I dunno, Jess," she scowls, "For my health, I suppose."
"Rory, don't be ridiculous..." he sighs, reaching up to pull down her hand when she signals for a taxi.
"You're the one whose being ridiculous," is her growled response as she tries to pull her hand out of his grasp, "You gonna let go of me, Mr. I-have-a-fuckin'-fiancé?"
He shakes his head, "Christ, you've changed, huh?"
"Yeah and you haven't."
Jess holds her hand tighter, "I don't want to let go."
"Please," she says, her eyes starting to water, "Come on, Jess."
Even though he's shocked by her change in attitude, he asks, "Why? Why do I have to let go of you?"
"Because..."
"Because why?"
"Just because, okay?" she chokes, ripping away from him.
He's fed up to his eyeballs with all of the drama, with all of the decisions he's had to make extemporaneously in past day, with his situation with Mandy. Jess reaches out for her elbow before she steps out into the street and before she has any time to react rationally, he kisses her.
Hard.
--
She refuses and pushes back against him, only causing her to step back, her shoulders touching the cold metal of the door of the taxi, "You," she manages to gasp when Jess pauses to pull her away from the cab door to open it, "Engaged..."
"The closest motel," is his response, directed towards the cabbie as he shoves a twenty through the window.
Christ, this is so fucking wrong... she thinks to herself, trying to get her normal breathing pattern back. Hell, kid, you did it with Dean when he was married.
But...
But...
But what?
There's nobody to walk in on us this time.
Damn straight.
They're sitting on opposite sides of the car, literally staring at each other, "Jess," she says.
"...yeah?"
"What're we doing?"
"I dunno."
He smiles.
She looks down at her hands.
--
The sheets smell like Bounce and quickly get tangled, their touches quick and unsure, their breath filling each other's lungs.
Cheap bedsprings creak, her hand white knuckling the headboard, his clutching the edge of the mattress. Their other hands are entwined together, stuck between their sticky bodies. He doesn't really give a shit that her knuckles are digging into his stomach and are going to leave an angry red mark for Mandy to see.
He doesn't care at all.
She tells him to bite her shoulder, that it feels good, that she wants to feel the pain and make it all go away. Another mark.
Names are exchanged in gasps, her hand forgets about the headboard and finds his back, her nails unconsciously dragging down the length of it. They leave the third mark in thirty seconds.
It's right.
It's sinful.
It's over.
--
Jess's eyes snap open, the cool wind from the open window waking him up. It feels like a dream...the whole entire thing. He rolls over, nearly crushing Mandy in the process, his muscles aching.
He'd left after Rory fell asleep.
Just like she said he would.
Again.
A/N: Ahhh!! Sorry that took so long! I know you guys were dying for another chapter, haha.
