Ask Me No Questions

Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.

Disclaimer/Notes: Ichigo would never admit what he really thinks of Rukia, right? Right. Except...maybe, to someone he knew wouldn't tell. I mean...he's gotta have a lot to say, and I figure he'd go a little nuts if he didn't tell someone. So this is what I came up with. Here's Ichigo up close and personal on his thoughts about Rukia...


"I'll tell ya," he said. "But only if you promise to keep it a secret."

Peeking up from under a mess of fiery hair, Kurosaki Ichigo examined the child sitting across from him. She was probably a few years younger than he was, maybe twelve years old, and small for her age, so her feet didn't even touch the ground as they both rested atop the raised concrete wall on the outskirts of Karakura park.

The girl looked at him, dark brown ringlet curls jolting gently with the movement. "There's no one to tell," she said lightheartedly, kicking her feet against the wall. The rubber soles of her white sandals just sent them bouncing back up. Brown eyes examined him from beneath a curtain of molasses-colored curls. "So... what is it, then?" The smile returned to her face. "Tell me your secret! I promise I won't tell anyone."

And he felt guilty. God, but he felt guilty. Because this obliviously smiling child was not a normal child. She was a spirit who had died just outside of the park. She hadn't bothered him with the details, but from what he'd heard, she had been killed by her father. When she smiled, it made everything worse. Such a strong girl... he couldn't forgive himself for letting her down. Not when so many others had.

"Well..." Ichigo glanced left and right, making sure no one was within earshot. At last, he looked back to the little girl, who had clasped her hands eagerly over the soft pink of her dress. He sighed, fidgeting with his fingers. "There's...this girl..."

"Ichi has a girlfriend!" the child cried, bouncing joyously. "What's her name?"

"I—wait a minute! I never said that she was my girlfriend!" Ichigo's expression was reminiscent of a cornered rabbit, causing the girl to laugh and kick her feet harder against the wall.

"Name, name! Tell me her name," she giggled.

Ichigo looked at the young one beside him, at the way her eyes were riveted only on him, at the impish delight that lit her features, and he couldn't say no. She reminded him too much of his sisters.

"Her—her name... is Rukia," he said.

As innocent as a lamb, the girl pursed her little pink lips and grinned in silence for a while. Suddenly she swung to view him, and all those curls went crazy, bouncing as joyously as the child herself did. "So, is she pretty?"

Ichigo jumped and sputtered a little, then angrily pointed a finger at the girl, whose tiny hand gripped it gently in return.

"Sooo?"

"N—no! She's...not pretty at all. Not one bit!"

The girl thought for a moment. "Yeah she is. I can tell, you know. Your face is pink."

"It is not!"

She laughed and smiled, and Ichigo wondered why she'd had to die. She and Yuzu would have gotten along so well.

"Maybe just a little bit. She's real small, though. And she's...got this black hair. Blue eyes, real dark, like...I dunno, something dark. Sapphire. And she's...she helped me out. Almost died. She must've drunk a gallon of stupid, because if I was her, I never would have helped me. But...because of her, my family is alive."

The little girl was bouncing with even more enthusiasm than before. "She sounds so sweet!"

"Well, her drawings are absolutely horrible," Ichigo grumbled.

"But you really like her, right?"

"Damn it, no! She's just... I'm just...grateful. I'm grateful to her for helping me. She didn't have to do something like that, like what she did. You know...I was gonna be killed, but she stood in front of me. Stupid, stupid, stupid. She was bleeding all over. But..." Ichigo shook his head. "But she looked absolutely...perfect, even then." Ichigo slammed a fist against the concrete beneath him. "I should tell her to shove that shinigami crap. I don't know why I let her stay. And...I don't know why she stays."

The girl laughed.

"What's so funny? Stop that! She's just a tiny tyrant with absolutely no knowledge at all of how the real world works. I..." Surely the girl didn't miss the smile that slowly quirked his lips. "She was trying to open a juice box this one time. This girl can kill hollows without batting an eye, stand up to any guy in class, and even act her way out of a paper bag. So it's funny to see her like that, jabbing mindlessly at a juice box... But when she doesn't think I'm looking, in her eyes..."

"What?" the girl asked softly.

"Pain," Ichigo said. "So much pain and sadness. You know, she reminds me so much... of myself. I hate that. Hate it. I know that there are things she's been though, things I can't even begin to understand. I wish, somehow, that maybe I could help just a little, 'cause she's helped me so much." He scuffed the soles of his tennis shoes against the concrete, clenching and unclenching his fists as the rubber slid mercilessly against rough stone.

"You think maybe you helped her and you don't know it?"

Ichigo laughed dryly. "Me, help her? I don't think I ever could. But I feel like I could trust her. Tell her anything. I just can't, though. she's got enough on her mind. And hey, did you know that healing kidou is warm?"

"Ki-what?" the girl cocked her head curiously.

"Oh, a shinigami thing. Did I mention that Rukia was a shinigami? She gave me her powers, too, something else I owe her for. She healed me a while ago. I was conscious just a little bit, and it felt like sunlight. That's how she is, though, so I'm not surprised."

"How do you mean?"

"I dunno. Bright. She's like... even when it's raining, I swear it's got nothing on me. She's...she's just..." He sighed, and that sent the girl into another giggle fit.

"Ichi's in love!" she said.

"It's not anything like that!" His voice was less firm than it had been before, though. After a moment, he grumbled and admitted something. "Everyone's spouting that sorta stuff around school, though, like we're a couple or something. It's downright annoying! I wish they'd just shut up. I could beat Keigo to a pulp..."

"But you're blushing. Is it true, then? That you're a couple?"

Ichigo quirked a smile at her and shook his head. "Nah, never. The only time she gets near me is when she's gonna beat me up. And she's darn good at it for someone so small, you know. Then she goes and shows this merciful, kind side...as opposed to her usual icy evilness—I swear it; she has multiple personalities. Sometimes, I wish that hollows and shinigami didn't exist at all, you know? Yuzu and Karin...and Dad...because of the work I do, they're in danger. But..."

The girl sat there in silence for several moments. "But?" she said gently.

A pause stretched out the time between them, and Ichigo spoke grudgingly yet softly, "But I can't imagine the world without her in it."

The only sound for several moments was the soft tap, tap of the girl's sandals against the wall. "Then make sure of it," she said.

"Of what?"

"That you keep her safe, no matter what. That you're there for her."

For once, Ichigo didn't blatantly deny anything. He didn't speak at all, in fact. After several long moments, he shoved off the wall and landed on his feet. "Thanks." He extended his hand to help the girl down, but she shook her head. "I'll just sit here."

He nodded.

Rhythmic footsteps pounded distantly against the sidewalk, and Ichigo heard a familiar voice calling his name. Still wearing school uniform, along with a lopsided backpack (she still hadn't learned how to wear one of them), Rukia bounded up to him, poking a finger accusingly—and breathlessly—into his chest when she stopped. "I...thought you said there was a konso to perform in this park. It's been half an hour! What the heck have you been up to? I was thinking you'd gotten your ass in trouble, eaten by a hollow or something, you fool!"

The little girl swung her feet a little and grabbed Ichigo by the ear, pulling him close. "She sounds like your wife or something," and then punctuated it with a giggle. The girl's eyes suddenly widened, and she turned happily to Rukia. "Are you her?"

Rukia turned to the girl and gave her a pleasant, if semi-confused smile. "Am I who?"

"The one Ichi was talking—"

Eyes wide, Ichigo clapped a hand over the spirit girl's mouth. "Talking to!" he said. "She must have seen us talking outside of the park!"

Underneath his hand, the girl laughed and mumbled incoherently while shaking her head. She gripped his hand and attempted to pull it away.

So much for not telling anyone.

Ichigo gave the child a pointed stare.

"Hey, if you're going to give her a soul burial, you've gotta take you hand off her mouth, Ichigo," Rukia informed him dryly.

"I—but—!" Ichigo growled. "Come on... can't you keep quiet?"

The girl shrugged, and Ichigo hesitantly removed his hand.

"What's a soul burial?" she asked innocently.

"You haven't told her about it?"

"Nah, we were talking about other things!" The girl laughingly pressed a finger to her lips and made a loud shhh sound. "Right?"

Rukia looked between the two with mounting confusion. "Well, since he's neglecting his duties as a substitute, I'll explain. A soul burial, or konso, is when—"

"It's when we send you to heaven, so you don't have to stay here any longer," Ichigo explained briefly.

"Soul Society," Rukia rectified. "The concept is similar, but it's not the same."

"Whatever. So, the thing is, we need to send your soul over there. From what I've heard, it's a pretty nice place. It won't hurt at all."

"But..." The girl thought for a moment, eyes running curiously over Rukia. She paused for a moment upon seeing a stuffed lion poke up from the unzipped backpack, but continued quickly, unfazed. "Does that mean that we won't be able to talk anymore, Ichi? I really really wanna hear more about how—"

"Hey! No talking! You can't talk while we do this. And don't worry, you'll make plenty of friends."

The girl jumped off the wall and smiled brightly up at Rukia. "Is healing kidou really warm?"

"What? What are you talking about?" the black-haired shinigami inquired.

"And juice boxes are a lot easier to open if you poke it until you find the soft little hole, you know. It's gonna be on the top."

Rukia quirked an eyebrow at Ichigo, as if to ask what in the world the crazy little kid was talking about.

The crazy little kid in question ran up to Rukia and looked straight up into the face that stared blankly down. "Ooh! Sapphire! He said they looked like sapphires! Soo pretty! You really do have pretty eyes! I don't see any of that whole icy evilness thing he was talking about, though. You do seem really sweet!"

Rukia gave Ichigo a questioning look.

"So, Ichi! Are ya gonna tell her? You really should, you know!"

Ichigo leapt forward and grabbed the girl from behind. The girl mumbled through his fingers.

Interest perked, Rukia stepped close, and knelt beside the child. "Tell me what?" she asked ever-so-gently. Then she looked at Ichigo. "Take your hands away or I'll systematically dismember you."

Ichigo glared at her for a while, then stepped back.

"You were saying?" Rukia prompted the child.

"Oh! Just that I think that Ichigo should tell you that he can't imagine the world without—"

As soon as she began speaking, Ichigo frantically skidded in front of the child, grabbing Kon from the backpack, and shoving his hand into the animal's mouth before he could make a single protest. He quickly gulped the pill down. His physical body fell to the ground, and as soon as he became aware that he was in shinigami form, he drew his zanpakutou. "Hey, have fun in Soul Society, kid!"

Quickly landing the sword's hilt on the child's forehead, Ichigo sighed, turning to Rukia. "See, I told ya I'd have it done in no time."

She stared blankly at him.

After several minutes, once he and Kon had been returned to their respective bodies, they began walking home. Rukia stepped in close to Ichigo. "So, you know... what that girl told me was really interesting..."

Ichigo stiffened, stopping in his tracks as she walked on. Had the girl been able to finish while he'd changed to a shinigami? "What did she say?" he blurted. Oh, how he was going to kill her...

Wait. She was already dead.

So, he'd kill her again.

A sinister smile slowly spread over Rukia's face.

"What'd she say?"

Her grin widened, and she began to hum. Finally she stopped and shrugged. "Oh... nothing, actually. I didn't get to hear. I'm going to get it out of you, though."

"You know, I'd kick you, but I'd feel like a real jerk beating up on a helpless dwarf."

"Oh, helpless, am I?"

Her expression promised large amounts of pain.

"Oops."

Ichigo ran.


Author's Notes: Well... um... yeah. That's probably the craziest IchiRuki story I've ever written. ...Maybe. Anyway, this was so much fun to write! The more I read and write it, the more I absolutely love the IchiRuki relationship. I also love the way they acted towards each other in the earlier manga chapters. Thus, this story. Anyway, I think it's hilarious that Rukia's always beating up on Ichigo, yet he never really fights back. It's sorta cute. Anyway... Pretty Please Review? Reviews are my bread and my water and my whole entire pathetic existence.