Chapter Two

"Here we are." Brian said as he pointed to the modest two story house in front of him. "Home, sweet, home."

He stared at Chris who was panting in the hot sun as he mowed the lawn.

"This is Chris." He told them.

He led them up to the door.

"Hey, everyone, I'm home." He said as he opened the door.

He looked around while the Doctor and Rose came up beside him. He walked over to the couch and noticed Peter was passed out. He was snoring loudly and nacho cheese was caked on his mouth and hands.

"This is Peter Griffin, Don't mind him, he's sleeping off a nacho cheese high," He said as the Doctor and Rose glanced over the couch at him. "Anyway, the kitchen is this way. Lois should be in there cooking dinner and…"

He paused as he went into the kitchen and noticed no one was in it.

"Or maybe not." He said.

He thought a moment.

"Oh, yeah, she had to go to the store and she probably took Stewie with her, so that leaves Meg. And Meg is probably in her room at the moment, which I would advise going in to. Lots of creepy, disturbing girl stuff in there. So…"

He pulled out a kitchen chair and sat down in it. He motioned for Rose and the Doctor to do the same.

"You want to find a door?" he said to them.

""Yes, that's right, it is some kind of door that will allow us to escape from here." The Doctor replied.

Brian frowned.

"Escape? I don't understand." He said.

The Doctor glanced at Rose.

"Let's just say that we came to this town against our will." He said.

Brian chuckled.

"I can understand that completely. I think the only people who come to Quahog voluntarily are lost or insane."

He held up his hands.

"I am neither. I'm just here because I have a job being the family pet." He said. "And believe me, it's quite a job."

"I understand completely." The Doctor said. "I travel for a living, but there have been a couple of times when I've tried to get odd jobs to pass the time and earn a little bit of cash. In fact, there was this one time…

(Jump cut.)

(The Sixth Doctor is standing in a circus tent facing a middle aged man who is sitting behind a card table.)

SIXTH DOCTOR: You've got to be kidding me! I can do this job! Why can't you hire me?

MAN: I'm sorry, sir, but you're just not qualified enough to come work for Ringling Brothers. Just because you're dressed like a clown does not mean you can be one!

(Cut back to the kitchen.)

The Doctor eyes Rose as she snickers. Ignoring her, he looks at Brian.

"That happen often?" he asked

Brian frowned.

"Does what happen often?"

"The whole showing of the memories thing?"

"Oh yeah, it happens all the time. You get used to it, trust me." Brian said shrugging. "So, you're a traveler then?"

"Yes, we are."

"Why did you come here then? I mean, Quahog is boring. If you're looking for sights, there aren't very many."

"I told you, Rose and I are here against our will. In order to leave, we have to find this door."

"Well, I'd say that narrows your search down to about 500,000 doors then. Do you know exactly what it looks like?"

The Doctor sighed.

"No, I'm not sure if it even is a door in the usual sense of the word. It could be a portal or tunnel or wormhole or something."

Brian stared at him.

"You watch a lot of Star Trek episodes, don't you?" he asked.

"Well…yes, but that's beside the point." The Doctor said. "The point is we're not really sure what we're looking for. All we know is it's somewhere in this city…I hope."

"You hope? You mean you're not even sure this door is in Quahog?"

"No, we're not sure of anything except that we're stuck here."

"Why are you stuck here? Who forced you to come here?" Brian asked.

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

"You wouldn't believe us if we told you." The Doctor replied.

"Heh, I've seen a lot of strange things living in this house. So, try me."

They glanced at each other.

"We were captured by a man who calls himself the Cybermaster." The Doctor said. "He imprisoned us here and we have to find a door that allows us to escape into another dimension or show or whatever. If we do it enough times, we free ourselves…or so he claims."

Brian stared at him.

"You know, you're awfully thin. You smoke crack?"

"No, I don't smoke crack!" the Doctor said as Rose giggled. "I'm telling you the truth!"

"Well, where did you meet this…Cybermaster?"

The Doctor and Rose glanced at each other.

"He…um…kidnapped us." The Doctor said hesitantly. "He wants to take over the universe and he has this virtual reality program that will help him do it."

"You sure this guy isn't named Stewie?"

The Doctor frowned.

"No, why do you ask?"

"Because the kid that lives here fits that description. Nuttier than a fruit cake. Always planning some crazy scheme to take over the universe."

The Doctor perked up.

"Really? How close has he gotten to taking over the universe?" he asked.

Brian snorted.

"The closest he's ever gotten to taking over the universe is watching Darth Vader on TV."

He paused for a moment.

"Speaking of Star Wars, I actually did try to convince this one friend of mine to do a screen-test for the movie, because he was working a dead end job at the time…"

(Jump cut)

Brian is standing outside a blue phone booth. A metal dog is beside him.

BRIAN: I'm telling ya, man, this is a dead end job. You need to go work for George Lucas. This Star Wars movie is the future, not this two bit operation.

K9: I cannot leave Doctor-Master; I must stay and protect him and mistress.

BRIAN: No, listen to me. Star Wars is looking for droids. You would make a good one. You'd get a lot more respect over there not to mention a bigger budget. They could fix you. I mean, look at you, you don't even have real legs, they're just etched into the side of your body. I mean, what is the point of that? And K9 as a name for a robot dog? How unoriginal can you get? You need more respect and a better pay rate and Lucas can give you that!

FOURTH DOCTOR (yelling off screen.) K9, where are you? I need help! The Daleks are after us and Romana!

K9: I must go! The master needs me!

BRIAN: No, wait, listen to me! He's using you! When he's done with you, he'll throw you on the scrap heap! You are making a mistake! Come back here, you fool! Don't be an ass-kisser! I can get you a screen test, I promise!

K9: I am coming, master!

(Brian sighs as K9 rolls away. He shakes his head sadly. Turning his head around, he looks up at a Dalek sitting beside him.)

BRIAN: How about you? They're looking for an R2-D2. Interested?

(Cut back to the kitchen.)

The Doctor stared at him in disbelief.

"Wait a minute. You knew K9?" he said as he and Rose stared at him in shock.

Brian was about to answer when he heard the front door open and close.

"We're back!" he heard Lois say.

"I'll be right back." Brian said hopping off his chair.

There was a moment's pause and then Brian entered with Lois behind him.

"Here they are." He said to Lois.

"Well, it's nice to meet you. Brian said you want to stay for supper. You are certainly welcome to do that." Lois replied.

"Thanks. We appreciate it." The Doctor said.

"Loooooooois, I want a juice box!" Stewie whined as he walked into the kitchen.

He stopped short when he saw the Doctor staring at him in shock.

"No, it can't be." Stewie said.

"No, it can't be." The Doctor said.

Rose stared at the Doctor in confusion as he got up and stared at Stewie with barely contained rage.

"Doctor, what is it?"

The Doctor looked at Lois.

"Could you excuse us for a moment?" he said to her as he grabbed Rose's arm.

"Um, yeah, sure." Lois replied.

They watched, confused, as the Doctor ushered Rose out of the kitchen.

"What's gotten into them?" Lois asked.

"Search me." Brian said shrugging.

Meanwhile, Stewie stood and glared at the Doctor and Rose as he watched them walking outside.

"So, Doctor, we meet again at last, and this time you shall not escape me." He muttered.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Doctor, what's going on? What's wrong?" Rose said as the Doctor closed the door.

The Doctor took her by the arms.

"Rose, I don't know if this is real, it might be the Cybermaster accessing my memories and messing with my mind, but that baby isn't as innocent as he seems!"

"What do you mean, Doctor?"

The Doctor sighed.

"He's a Time Lord, Rose. And his name is the Master."