Pretty sure JK Rowling doesn't have a sprained ankle. Suffice it to say anything recognizable belongs to her. I made the cover image on Doll Divine.
The fuck is this shit? I stared at Professor Vector with an incredulous look as she continued teaching.
"You divide 3 from both sides to isolate the x…"
I glanced around the room. Do any of you understand this? My classmates seemed completely enthralled by the lesson and to understand what was being taught. I'm the only one without a clue about what's going on, aren't I?
I glanced down at my parchment. Are we even on the same problem? The bell tolled, ending the class as I face-planted on my desk. Damn. There goes asking the professor. I gathered my things and walked down the many stairs to the dungeons.
'You're the bestest brother in the whole wide world.'
'What do you need?'
'Help with Arithmancy.'
'I don't take that class.'
'No, but you understand math.'
'What level?'
'Algebra 1.'
'Fine.'
'Love you.'
I grinned at Revane as I passed him at the entrance to the potions classroom. "You owe me for this," he muttered.
I nodded, glancing at the board. "I'll help you with potions."
"You better."
Antidote to common poisons? Easy. I quickly gathered the required ingredients and set them on my worktable. I took my seat and slid my bag off my shoulder.
My bag had barely landed on the floor before the door to the classroom banged open, and Professor Snape marched to the front of the room. He glared at the class as if he had better things to do instead of teaching a bunch of dunderheads like us, which he probably did.
"Once again the Headmaster has not seen the folly of placing these houses together in a class," Snape said as he marched to the front of the room, robes billowing out behind him. "As such, I fully expect there to be an explosion by the end of class." He glared at the Gryffindors. "Try to prove me wrong."
Fernando had a hungry gleam in his eyes as he smirked at me from the next table over. I looked up at the ceiling. An extra pair of eyes would be fantastic for this class. As usual my prayer went unanswered. Guess I'm on my own. Wonderful.
"In case you are too blind to notice what is on the board, you will be brewing an antidote to common poisons today," Snape said with a smirk. "One of your potions this term may be, tested, before the Winter Holidays."
A mad scramble for the ingredients I had already collected began as I sorted my supplies. Once they were sorted and in easy reach for when I needed them, I let out a breath while hovering my hands above the table.
I reached for the elderberry roots and knife. Mincing the roots, I began humming a wordless tune. The notes rose and sank beneath the notice of my classmates in a rhythm unknown to all, including me.
I crushed a bezoar into a fine powder and added 4 measures of the powder into the potion before lighting the flame beneath the cauldron. As the potion heated, I added the minced elderberry roots. Then monitored the heat for five seconds.
I began stirring the potion two times clockwise when he threw a vial of basil oil towards my potion. I hurriedly finished stirring the potion and grabbed my wand as the vial began to pour into my cauldron. "Servabit Venenun Purgantr," I spat out as I caught the now empty vial in my hand. Fernando chose his moment well, I'd give him that. One second too late and there would have been no point in continuing.
Lowering my wand, I sighed in relief, sending a death glare at Fernando as I added a unicorn horn. I wiped the sweat off my forehead as the potion boiled, dissolving the horn.
'You look a little frazzled over there, Raven. Something wrong?'
'Just Fernando being his usual self, Revane. Nothing to worry about.'
I could imagine the raised eyebrow on my twin's face as I finished crushing my barley grass. I began to slowly pour it into the potion while stirring anti-clockwise. With two stirs clockwise, my potion turned a nice teal colour. I filled a vial with it and handed it to Snape before cleaning up my table.
'I hate you, you know that?'
'Love you too, Revane.'
'Don't forget our deal.'
'How could I with you reminding me?'
A few other students, mainly Slytherins, managed to complete their potions successfully before the bell. The rest handed in off-colour potions and sometimes sludge as the bell tolled.
My bag was slung onto my shoulder, and I made my way out of the classroom beside Revane. "Defence next," I said. "What do you think of the professor?"
"This year is going to be hell, you know that right?" Revane said.
"Duh, Potter's here." I grinned. "Though she seems most likely to be one of the worst professors we have yet."
We passed a group of really short Hufflepuffs. "Why do we have classes on a Saturday? What kind of school has classes on a Saturday?" one asked.
I smirked. "Magic school," I said over my shoulder.
The entire group of first years paled and scurried away.
"Scaring first years already?" Revane's eyes twinkled.
"Not my fault Slytherin has a bad reputation," I said. "I swear they get shorter every year."
"You were once that short."
"Not at eleven, almost twelve."
We laughed as we entered the classroom, sitting at tables that were beside each but on either side of the invisible barrier between the houses. The classroom filled up with the professor following the stragglers. It should illegal to wear that much pink.
"Good morning, class," Professor Umbridge said in her sickly sweet voice.
"Good morning, Professor Umbridge," a few goody-goodys said.
"Now, we can't have that," Professor Umbridge said. "When I speak to you as a class, you will respond to me as a class. Let's try again. Good morning, class."
"Good morning, Professor Umbridge," the class chanted while I stared at the professor in disbelief.
"Now, as next year is your OWL year, the ministry has decided to teach you Defence in a risk-free environment," Professor Umbridge said. I saw Revane glance at me from the corner of my eye as I started to glare at the 'professor.'
I raised my hand.
"Yes, Ms.-?"
"Evans, professor," I said. "What do you mean by risk-free?"
"I mean that you will not be practising spells. We will be studying theory this year thus limiting the number of accidents that could happen," Professor Umbridge explained with a smile. And there goes your last chance at me respecting you.
"While I appreciate the fact that we will be focusing on theory as it is my weak point in every class," I said. "There is a practical portion to our exams, would it be possible to have a specific protected area for students to practice spells? Very few are able to complete a spell successfully on the first try."
Umbridge's eyes narrowed. "I expected such protests to come from Gryffindor or perhaps Ravenclaw, but not from my old house." Oh, great, she's of those Slytherins. "With enough knowledge of the theory, you will be able to cast the spells needed for your exams without any problems."
"So, basically the ministry doesn't want us to know spells, so we can't 'rebel' against it," Revane butted in.
"Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class, Mr.-?"
"Evans, professor. By the way, that would be my twin you just insulted," Revane continued.
Umbridge glanced between us. "Ah, yes, how she got into Slytherin…"
"Finish that sentence and I will shove a NEWT level spell up your arse," I threatened.
"You are only a fourth year, Ms. Evans," Umbridge said. "I highly doubt you are capable of a NEWT level spell."
"Try me and find out," I said. "Besides, it is a known part of the course requirements that we practice defencive spells. Given the circumstances, I'd say we need them more then ever."
"Are you a ministry trained educational expert, Ms. Evans?"
"Last time I checked you aren't either."
'Coughs' spread out across the Gryffindor side of the room.
I sat forward on my seat. "Besides, wouldn't the ministry be more worried about Voldemort rebelling against them then a couple students?"
Umbridge seemed to pale. "Now, let me make this quite clear," she said. "You have been told that a certain dark wizard has returned. This is a lie."
"So, you are calling me, Dumbledore, and my cousin a liar," I said, ticking the names on my fingers. "And saying that Cedric Diggory dropped dead of his own accord."
"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident."
"It was murder, surely you must see this!"
"Enough!" The class rocked back, shocked by her sudden change in tone. "Detention, Ms. Evans. My office, 7 o'clock."
I shrugged. "I'll let my other professors know that I already have detention for that time, so that they can't double book me." I gave Umbridge my sweetest smile. You are going down, toadface.
