Chapter 3
Ted sat still in the cab, excited. He wasn't sure what was happening, or where they were going: back to her place? To grab a drink? But he didn't want to head back to his lonely hotel room. He hadn't been back in New York long enough to rent an apartment so he settled on staying in a hotel room which he dreaded returning to, as it reminded him of how lonely he really was. He was excited just to sit next to Peggy in a cab, to hold her hand. He learned from his time in the L.A. office how important it was to remember the small details so he could recall them later – the smell of her perfume, the soft touch of her hand, her lips. He knew now how precious every single moment he ever shared with her was, and he wanted to savior each second.
They arrived at Peggy's apartment and she turned to him and asked, "Do you want to come inside?"
Ted smiled despite himself and answered, "Yes". He paid the cabbie and they walked inside.
Peggy walked in first, unlocking the door and dropping her purse and keys inside. Ted followed behind her and remembered the last time he was in her apartment and what happened that night. Ted had replayed it so many times in his head – it was his favorite memory. Seeing her in that black dress with the pink bow, and that night when he was the one who stripped her of the dress. It was the last time he remembered being happy, and not just happy, but truly at peace when they lied together in bed and he held her in his arms. He wished so many lonely nights in the office that he could return to that night and change everything. In his fantasy he would have stayed and slept beside her, and in the morning bring her breakfast in bed. They would have gone to Hawaii for Christmas. So many things would have been different…but that was the past and now he was here again and he promised himself if he had the chance he would do things right.
Peggy walked over to the kitchen, calling back to Ted if he wanted something to drink. Peggy's abrupt decision in the cab was triggered by her own nagging anxiety. What if Ted flies to Los Angeles and never comes back? What if this is it? What if nothing really changes and he leaves again, she thought as they stood there waiting for the cab. And when he had said goodnight she realized she wanted him and didn't want to wait.
Peggy poured juice in two glasses and brought one over to Ted, who sat on her living room couch with his coat still on, as he didn't want to be assuming of the situation. Peggy handed Ted the juice as he chuckled, "Juice?"
Peggy sat down, "What's wrong with juice?"
"Oh, nothing. It's just, in L.A. I had juice all day long in the office, you know, from Sunkist."
"Oh, yes of course."
"Peggy, what are we doing?"
"I know you need to take care of things with your family and I am not ready to allow you completely back into my life, but…" Ted placed his hand on Peggy's knee.
"Ted, I'm not ready – for that. I want to, I do, but not now." Ted didn't move his hand away and Peggy didn't want him to.
"Tell me, what do you want?" he smiled sweetly at her. It took everything in him to not shed her of her clothes and feel her warm skin against his.
She smiled and stood up, taking his hand and walking over to the bedroom. She took off his coat and began to unknot his tie.
"Peggy…" Ted pleaded.
"I want you in my bed. I want to sleep beside you and wake up next to you." She had his tie undone and tossed it on the floor with his coat.
Ted smiled at her, "I'd like that."
She began working on the buttons of his shirt as Ted was trembling with excitement, he shyly asked, "Can I kiss you?"
Peggy coyly smiled up at him and answered, "Yes, but only a kiss."
His lips jumped to hers so quickly she was taken aback by it. She had wanted him too, and had longed for this moment but Ted, Ted was so eager and desperate for her touch. His tongue moved in her mouth, and he moaned when she bit at his bottom lip. They pulled apart, as Ted took a step backwards away from her. He took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the bed. Peggy put her fingers to her lips, they already felt sore and bruised from the kiss but it had been so long since either of them had kissed so passionately that it overwhelmed them, especially Ted.
Peggy unzipped her dress and let it fall to the floor. She stepped out of it and put on her nightgown, a simple short nightie she wore to bed. Ted sat there, his shirt unbuttoned exposing his undershirt, his trousers, belt, and boots were still on. He held onto the mattress, because if he held onto Peggy he wouldn't want to let go.
Peggy climbed into bed and broke the silence, "Are you just going to sit there? If you are uncomfortable you can head home – maybe this isn't going to work…"
"No—" Ted turned around to face her, "I want to do this. I want to be here with you. It's just, challenging."
She smiled coyly again, looking at him and glancing over at the empty space on her bed, "You can keep your clothes on, if that would help."
Ted looked down at her dress on the floor, this isn't the night he envisioned when he wanted to speak with her in her office. There she was in bed, in her nightie, so beautiful and perfect. But he couldn't be with her completely, and it pained him, but he wasn't going to leave.
"I will keep most of my clothes on, it's probably best."
He slipped off his boots, socks, and his shirt, but kept on his undershirt and trousers. In case, he thought to himself, at least there would be a few layers separating him from her. He wanted her so badly. but he wanted to respect her decision even more. He lied in bed next to her, as she curled up alongside him; he kissed her forehead gently and breathed in the smell of her hair.
And for a moment, he felt he travelled back in time to that night. Even if they were both wearing clothes now and there was no real release, he was there with her, in that same bed and this time, he would spend the night.
