Silence.
In an offshoot room of the temple, where only the Knights of Ren were permitted to enter, he sat, tunic flung against a wall, perfectly still, perfectly in silence.
But his mind….his mind would not stay silent.
His closed eyes quivered as the past few battles flashed in front of him. His confrontations, her look of horror as he ran Han Solo through.
His eyes burst open, meditation broken, and his hand instantly went to his severed weapon. A careless brush of his fingers caused an unexpected stab of pain and he gasped, yanking his whole arm away. Holding his hand high up to a dusty shaft of light filtering in through one of the several holes scattered in the walls, he watched as a small bead of blood welled up on the pad of his fourth finger. Instinctively he sucked on it, and scowled into a particularly dark corner of the chamber.
No matter what he did, no matter how deep into his analyzation he would go, her face would always bubble to the surface. It ruined everything.
Biting at the minuscule wound on his finger now, his throat let loose a shriek, violent, into the shadows and the dust, shaking his entire form with it. It was short, a moment quickly gone, and as he hunched over breathlessly he looked down at his hand. He'd made the cut worse. He sucked at it again aggressively and turned himself against the light streaming from the walls. His back muscles rippled, ironically warmed by the solar radiation he half-heartedly tried to avoid. As he stared ahead, his breathing became more audible, and his hand gingerly found its way to his side. He clenched his teeth. Looking down, he examined the wide spread of mesh covering nearly half his torso and laid his palm flat against it. For a moment, if he closed his eyes, he could feel his father's hand brush against his cheek.
Suddenly, he flung out his legs in front of him, and in a fit of rage stomped his foot so hard into the ancient stone floor it cracked it, in turn sending a sharp pain through the very center of him that radiated out of the blasted wound in his side. He cried out, and his voice bounced off the walls as he doubled over, rolling down to the floor as he tried to grip his torso but couldn't even touch it for the pain. The cool of the rock sent a different kind of shock through him, and his eyes widened as the tears welled up and began to fall, treacherously, from the corners of his eyes, and he wailed into the silence.
Normal…normal now, these fits, he thought through it all. He writhed on the floor, willing himself to cease this behavior. He breathed deeply, trying to choke out the cries, and instead of the weak emotion that threatened to escape from his throat, he screamed instead. He half wondered if, during the course of his half a dozen or so screams- he'd lost count- if anyone could actually hear. But he didn't care. Let them hear.
Let them fear. It's so easy for them to flee in terror from what they don't understand. Like rats.
The image, suddenly, of Hux and all his precious 'men' as a puss-sullied scramble of ginormous rats caused one of his screams to be replaced with a half-strangled laugh. It was enough. Enough to pull himself together with.
Kylo didn't make it a habit to walk half naked in front of other members of the Order, but as he pulled himself off the floor, cautious not to strain his wounds further, he grabbed up his things, and left, in plain view, back up to the ship.
—
The ground troops had alerted the landing party, and the landing party in turn alerted the star cruiser above.
Kylo Ren was returning to the ship.
But while this courteous forewarning had become the norm since all had learned to prepare themselves for his coming in case of one of his sudden outbursts, the tone was different this time. Kylo, they reported, was not himself. As much as he had been anything defined as 'himself', which was never much more than a collection of outbursts and entitlement.
The stormtroopers inside and outside the Temple of Ren had been the first to give notice. One of them had even risked speaking to Kylo, offering to assist in whatever situation there was. The soldier was waved away without a word. Kylo remained silent. And covered in flecks of debris like he'd been pushed and rolled haphazardly down a forest mountain. That, and while it wasn't unnecessarily uncommon for him to forego his helmet, he'd never been in such a state of undress before. Or rather, not that anyone could remember, or dared to remember, if it had ever happened.
The landing party felt obliged to report back their observations to the ground troops who had so accommodatingly warned them of Kylo's impending presence, and soon every member of staff was, in hushed whispers, sharing what they knew about the state of one of their leaders.
—
At the break of dawn on the planet, Kylo arrived in the apprentice chamber in his least restricting garments, sans helmet. After the day before, he'd been able to center himself despite never solving in his mind the cause of his recent failures. Instead, he just pushed it all aside. Finishing his training was paramount in his priorities now- the rest of them, all of them, could go to hell until then.
He closed his eyes and reached out with his feelings, careful to stay away from some and only extend those which were pure objectivity, and felt the walls of the hall, the perimeter of the building, the very line of the forest outside itself.
"Kylo Ren," came a crackling but unusually tangible voice. When he opened his eyes, he saw standing before him the slender figure of Supreme Leader Snoke, in the flesh.
"Why did you give me that name?" he asked, face utterly blank. He watched as Snoke made something akin to a grin.
"My Knight, names have their own peculiarities. And when you came to me, you wanted power over one man. So, I gave you the gift of 'Kylo'- the inversion of that name 'Luke' with which you gird your hate so passionately."
He shifted his jaw slightly. He'd already known this answer, but like everything, he knew such things went both ways. If his leader was still not intent on telling him why he put him at such a disadvantage by tying him so close to Skywalker, it wasn't worth pressing further.
"Disadvantage?" Snoke exclaimed, easily piercing his young apprentice's mind. "Disadvantage only if you cannot shield yourself from him. Which you will have no concern about doing after we begin today."
He gave a grudging nod. Snoke stepped forward.
"Ahh, but my disciple…" the hooded leader purred. "Your wounds still cause you some discomfort."
He stiffened himself. "No, Master."
"Oh?" queried Snoke, circling him now. "Because the walls," he said, motioning above him casually, "tell me a different story."
Kylo flinched. So, someone had heard. He glared up at the ceiling but pressed his eyes shut again quickly, determined to cling to his composure.
Snoke stood behind him now, and Kylo remembered his first meeting with his future Master.
.
"Aren't you a wild and suspicious child!" the spectre in the wastes had exclaimed.
Ben, no more than 14, glared as the vision circled around him, determined to never let his back show to it. He would never give it an easy opening.
"If you truly wish to become my disciple and do away with your uncle's cult, you must show your devotion….and your trust."
Ben glared at him, clenching his fists, but seemed to go over it in his mind. "How so?" he asked simply.
"By staying put when I speak to you…" it began, and started to circle around him as if to test if its instruction had really sunk in. Ben, against all instinct to never put his back to such an overwhelming abyss of Darkness, held his ground. It was just as brave, he concluded, to put your back to it and still feel confident in one's ability to defeat it, despite the less than advantageous position on the battlefield. He blinked as he thought this. Uncle's words. He scowled.
"Yes," the thing whispered hoarsely behind him, "But soon you will hear my words."
Ben froze, but realized he'd really let down his guard.
"Well done," it praised.
.
Kylo closed his eyes. "It seems it will take time," he replied finally.
He heard the rustle of fabric as he felt Snoke shake his head.
"Oh, my future Scion…..I will teach you…..I will show you all you need to know to squeeze every last weakness from your very pores."
As he said this, Kylo felt as long, knobby fingers reached around his side and a chill overcame him so intense that he had no time to react. It covered his side, the entirety of his deceitful wound, and he felt as if it had been frozen closed. Ice had become his flesh, the Dark Side of the Force imbuing him with a healing he had no idea was possible.
"…and because you didn't even fathom the possibility that this power could exist is why you will not leave here until your training is complete," Snoke whispered in his ear. Kylo shuddered, finally able to feel himself again.
"Now begin!" The Master cried shrilly, and he pushed the Ren violently away from him.
A/N: So FF is being insane right now. I have no idea if updating will bounce the story back to the top of the stack (it didn't for ch. 2) or if I'll even be able to read you guys' reviews, but I couldn't wait to publish something. This chapter is short, but it's only because the next chapter is so long. Chapter 4 will be the last of the setup, at least on Kylo's side. I also made a few tweaks and adjustments to the past two chapters after seeing the film two more times and getting my hands on the actual film script. Tomorrow I'll have the novel as well, so while I hope that doesn't mean more tweaking, I'll definitely give notice if so. So far *nothing really groundbreaking was changed*. Mostly titles and maybe two sentences total in insights to more accurately fit the characterization.
Guys, I'm excited. I haven't been this excited for a story in ages. Thanks so much for reading.
