A/N: This is written from The Doctor's POV. Also in this AU Clara isn't with Danny, they're just close friends so I'm taking licence with her relationships.
Why was my brother-in-law ugh he's my brother in law isn't he? Flirting with Clara? My brother-in-law flirting with my girlfriend because my wife doesn't remember me. Ugh it's insane! It's insane!
I have to do something about it, what what what?
"Clara, Ponds! Come into the console room I have something to show you!" I shouted.
As Clara walked in she said "Yea what is it?" in her pudding brain Lancashire accent
As Anthony walked in I grabbed Clara by the waist and kissed her for what seemed like only a few seconds until the Roman looked at his watch and said "Doctor it's been 5 minutes… do you want to breathe anytime soon?"
"Oh, right." I pointed at Amy. "Amy, she's a much better kisser than you…" Rory cringed.
"Ok Doctor, where are we going?" Amy asked with her inquisitive face.
"Let's ask your son, where do you want to go Antonio? There's Space Florida, Fassadorial, they have giant shoes that they live in, and oh, there's Bikinitopia where there's miles of 'hot' girls like Clara in bikinis you'd like that wouldn't you?"
"What's a bikini?" Anthony asked.
I just stared at him for a minute before smacking my forehead "Oh right 40's nevermind we'll go to Bikinitopia now."
Amy looked at Rory and said "Do you want to just stay in the TARDIS while we're in Bikinitopia? I don't want to have to smack you too much."
"Oh just wear one yourself and you'll be the only one I stare at." He replied as she turned around to go to the wardrobe with a smile.
I went to the wardrobe to put on some boardshorts and a Hawaiian shirt and then walked into the console
After everyone had changed we walked into the tourist centre to check in. "John Smith, and these are my servants." I told the clerk after flashing my psychic paper. Amy and Rory both grimaced when I said they are my servants. The clerk nodded and handed me my entry card and told me the shack number.
"Wait we are staying in a shack with you and your girlfriend? That could get lou-oud" Amy teased the Doctor and Clara.
"Don't worry they have soundproof curtains throughout the room, but I'm just worried about you two." I mocked Amy.
