"Ugh why the hell is it so damn fuckin bright. It's too early for this shit." I don't know why the hell I left my blinds open last night, but I could kick myself. There's no way I'm getting out of bed, let alone opening my eyes, to fix it either.
I try to grab my covers to pull them over my head when I feel someone tighten their grip across my abdomen. I move my hand and it bumps into something soft, yet solid, behind me.
"San, stop movin'. Too early. Sleep." Hearing Brittany's voice makes me relax a little until I start laughing at her "sleepy caveman" speak. Seriously, could she be any more adorable? Probably.
"Britt, wake up, we should go inside before my parents get home." I try to move, realizing we're still on the trampoline, but she just tightens her hold.
"C'mon Britt-Britt, wake your little tush-tush. If my parents see us out here they'll never let me hear the end of it."
Brittany moves her head lower and nudges her nose against neck and mumbles something incomprehensible, "toltheyaredhere."
"Britt, I have no idea what you said."
She snuggles in closer and kisses my neck and slowly moves up to my chin and then my cheek, and nose, and forehead, before giggling and pecking my lips. "I said it's too late because they're already here." She shrugs her shoulders and goes to lay back down right as I was sitting up in a panic.
"Wait, what? When? How… how do you know that?" I look around the yard wide-eyed with a new eye for detail. Of course they're here, this is the blanket that is usually draped at the foot of their bed. I throw the blanket off of me and sit up on my knees: the kitchen blinds are raised. Shit. Mami's still awake.
"Good Morning Ms. Lopez!" Bill, our next-door neighbor is peeking over the fence. I always knew he was a creeper, but I have to be polite because Mami and Papi will kill me if I'm not. So I wave to him as I scramble to my feet and out of the zippered enclosure. Hmm, I wonder if he was perving on us last night.
"Britt, C'mon get up. Time to face the music."
Her eyes go comically wide and I start to laugh until I see the look of sheer panic on her face. "Wait, wait that sounded bad. My parents will love you- they already like you if they put a blanket over us. They would've just left me out here without a blanket or they would've woken me up to make me go inside. Don't worry."
She doesn't look convinced at all, "then why are you freaking out? That makes me worry. Are your parents secret mobsters that are gonna send me swimming with the fishes? I like swimming, but not with fish. They bite."
"Britt, I'm starting to think you have a unique taste in movies."
"Nah, I typically stick to funny and happy movies or Disney movies, but I fell asleep while Scarface was on the movie channel. I can't get it outta my head."
I nod because I totally get that. I mean, I hate those types of movies and typically prefer action movies or comedies and I'll sometimes watch Disney, but no one really knows that. I keep my Disney collection under my bed. No judging.
I start walking towards the door when I notice Britt isn't by me; she's still standing by the trampoline looking like she's going to pass out. I walk back over to her, "Britt, look at me. I promise you have nothing to worry about."
She looks at me in the eyes and sticks her pinky in the air, "pinky promise?" I nod and hook my pinky with hers and I can practically feel the tension release out of her body as a grin takes over her face. We walk, pinky-in-pinky, into the kitchen where Mami is cooking breakfast and Papi is reading the morning paper. He's still in his scrubs, but her hair is wet which means she got home first and took her shower.
"Morning Mami, Papi." I say as we enter the kitchen.
"Ah, the dead has arisen. Who are you and what have you done with our daughter?" I roll my eyes at my dad; if it weren't for him working the late shift he'd be as much of a morning person as I am.
"Carlos, leave the poor girls alone, you should've seen them sleeping on the trampoline. They were adorable."
I groan because this is what I was afraid of. I haven't brought any girl home. Ever. Why? Because my mom doesn't know how to play it cool, she always jumps to conclusions and embarrasses the hell out of me. When I was in college and figuring my sexuality out she would always ask me about guys and try to set me up with her friend's sons or "that nice guy at the coffee shop, Jon" that upsized her coffee for free.
She'd said 'you know, he gave me a free upgrade. That's generosity. That's good to have in a husband.' And I quickly replied with a 'no, he gave you something you didn't pay for. Mami, that's called stealing.' She'd quickly waved me off, 'that's just semantics.'
She finally stopped when I came out, but not for long. Soon I was getting text messages with candid snapshots of girls she thought would be suitable matches. She'd send them to me with a question mark basically asking me if she should play matchmaker. I always said no, but she never ceased. Not until she invited some random girl over that she met at the supermarket because the girl 'looked like my type'. She wasn't. At all. Papi finally had to step in to get her to stop. I don't know the terms of their agreement, but I am still grateful for whatever he did.
"I saw them. All ten pictures you sent to my phone." My eyes widen in surprise as I look between my mom and dad trying to see who's going to be the first to crack and tell me it's a joke. But that doesn't happen. In fact, my dad looks up at me over the top of the paper and through his glasses to mouth 'I'm sorry' before turning back to the sports section.
I lean my head against Brittany and whisper how sorry I am to her, but she's laughing under her breath. I shake my head and squeeze our pinkies as a stern warning.
"Well, Mija, are you going to introduce your friend or just look at her like a lovesick puppy?"
As if sensing a quarrel brewing my dad quickly stands up and walks over to introduce himself, "Hi, I'm Carlos and this is my wife Maribel."
Brittany nods and shakes his extended hand, "Hi Mr. and Mrs. Lopez, I'm Brittany Susan Pierce. It's nice to meet you. Thanks for letting me stay here last night. I don't want to intrude on your family time; I'm going to call Quinn to see if she can come pick me up."
"Oh nonsense. Any friend of Santana's is welcome here. Sit and have breakfast with us, Santana will drop you off after if you need still need to leave."
Brittany looks to me to see if what my dad said is okay so I nod and smile, "he's a doctor so you should listen to what he says. Ya know what they say, breakfast is the most important meal of the day and all that jazz."
"Wait, she stayed for breakfast with your family? Even I didn't get invited over for a meal until we were in college."
I roll my eyes at Kurt, "that's because we weren't that close of friends until then. Plus, you are capital G gay and the only reason my mom was so happy to have Britt stay over is because she wanted to put her through the ringer of questions. I swear she's not going to talk to me again."
As soon as we sat down for breakfast my mom proceeded to ask Britt a million and one questions. She even asked if Brittany would rather have a big or small wedding and how many kids she wants. The only thing that saved us was her alarm that went off letting us know I had to bring her to the hotel so she'd have enough time to get ready for the bridal party luncheon.
As soon as I got home my parents were both still up waiting for me and ready to ask a million questions, but I wasn't about to indulge in my mom's little game. So I simply walked in, held up my hand, and said, "Just met her. She's Rachel's fiancée's best friend. She lives in Florida. End of story." Then I walked to my room and took a nap before meeting up with Kurt for lunch and an impromptu shopping trip.
"Surely it couldn't have been that bad. Your mom is absolutely adorable."
From Unknown number: hey there sexy lady.
"No. No she's not. Besides she almost made us break our rule."
"You have rules to your friendship? Ohh this should be good. Elaborate on this rule."
"How many times do I have to tell you Lady Lips, 'the first rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.'?"
Kurt absolutely hates it when I quote movies at him. But this shit is payback. In high school him and Berry would bust out in fucking musical theatre songs every chance they got. In glee club. In the hallways. On my voicemail.
"Damnit Satan, just tell me." I laugh at how red he's getting and know I should stop, but I have to do it. It's like an impulse that can't be denied. Aggravating him is like air—I need it to function.
"'The second rule of Fight Club is: You do not talk about Fight Club.'"
He throws up his hands an annoyance and I laugh before taking a sip of my mimosa and turning slightly serious. "She wants to have a weekend romance with me like 'No String Attached'. And she doesn't want to discuss details of anything from our personal lives."
Kurt raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow at me as he sips his coffee and gestures for me to keep going. "At first I was a little thrown off, but it makes sense. She's getting on a plane back to Florida and I'm getting on a plane to New York. We're only here for the weekend and there's no sense in making this more drama than it needs to be. Who knows, maybe we'll see each other once a year at a friendly get together when she visits Quinn and Berry—Hmm, I wonder who's taking whose name. I might have to come up with a new name for her."
From Unknown number: r u ignoring me?
"You could always call her Rachel. But that's beside the point, back to the topic please."
To Unknown number: who is this?
"Anyway, we might see each other a few times a year when she visits Hobbit and Quinn. So why try to make this harder than it needs to be. Plus, I just have this gut feeling that something big is waiting for me right around the corner."
"Ok, enough of the charade, how does it really make you feel?"
Sometimes I fucking hate Kurt. He's a good guy, but he won't leave well enough alone. "Look Hummel, I'm not a huge fan of it, but seriously what can I do? I don't want a long distance relationship. I'm starting a new position, moving to a new city, and immersing myself in a culture vastly different from anything I've ever been around. So forgive me for trying to think with my head for once."
He holds up one hand over his heart in feigned-hurt, "retract your claws. I'm seriously just worried about your heart in all of this. But I won't say anything else while you play house for the weekend."
I hold up my middle finger as I take another long sip of my mimosa and he laughs knowing that's the end of this little talk. And he's lucky I'm still in a good mood from my amazing night or else Snixx might have made her presence known.
From Unknown number: maybe this will help [picture]
I look down at my phone and nearly choke on my last sip of mimosa when I see Brittany and I spooning on the trampoline. Her hair messy and lips pressed to my shoulder blade.
"Oh my god! That is so adorable!" I snatch my phone away from Kurt and quickly type out a message.
Britt, How did you get that pic? –S
Ur mom sent it to me after she got my num. That ok? –B
Yeah Kurt just saw the pic and is flippin his shit at our adorableness. His words not mine. –S
The pic is pretty darn cute. So are the other 9. :) –B
"I'm gonna kill my mom. She not only got Britt's number before me, but she also sent her all TEN pictures she took this morning. When my dad said he got 10 pics from her I thought he was joking. I should've known." I shake my head and thank the waiter when he brings our food over and then returns with a fresh mimosa. Yep, he's getting a good tip.
"I won't keep bringing up the cuteness if you agree to let me pick your outfit for tonight's dinner. You can't seriously consider wearing that…" He looks me up and down and shakes his head.
"It's a rehearsal dinner, which means semi-casual. I'm wearing skinny jeans, a shirt and blazer. What the hell is wrong with this? You know what, don't answer that Mr. Hippo broach. You can by NO MEANS give me a makeover."
R u having fun? This lunch is awful. Who eats grass and beans all the time? I need chocolate and meat or im gonna die. [Picture] –B
There on my little iPhone screen is a picture of Brittany pouting and pointing at a fork full of what does indeed look like grass. This girl and her pout could definitely be the death of me.
LOL! Where are you guys? I'm eating a big juicy burger and fries :) [Picture] –S
SAN! That's not fair! U cant send me a pic of your yummy food while im stuck with this crap :( Ur a meanie –B
After we finish eating we decide to just ride together to the mall. "Hey Kurt,"
He turns to look at me from the driver's seat, "Uh oh, what do you want?"
"What do you mean 'what do you want?' who says I want something? Maybe I was just gonna tell you that I really like your car."
Kurt laughs. Like high pitch scary laugh. "First, you used my actual name. And second, you hate my car. You call it a matchbox car or 'deathtrap' every time you see it."
Well its true. Have you ever looked at mini coopers? They're tiny! "I think my Barbie hot wheels car was bigger than this thing. But back to what I need- we need to stop at a convenience store and swing by the hotel. If you don't ask questions I'll consider letting you pick out something for me to wear tonight."
Britt, come to the front really quickly. Tell 'em you need to go the bathroom or something. –S
A few minutes later Brittany walks out of the front revolving door of the hotel and even though I know I should close my mouth I can't. Brittany looks like she could have walked off the runway: her hair is down and resting on her shoulders, she has on black stiletto boots, black skinny dress pants, black bustier, and cream three quarter length blazer.
"San, what're you doing here? I thought you were going shopping with Kurt."
"I-I am, but I brought you something edible so you don't get hangry."
She tilts her head to side and I realize what I said, "Hangry—it's when you get angry because you're hungry."
She nods and starts to open the bag, "you didn't have to get me anything, but… Oh my gosh San. Did you buy the whole store?" She looks up and stares into my eyes before I look down sheepishly.
"Well, I don't know what you like so it was just easier to get a variety and let you choose." She unwraps a sucker and sticks it in her mouth before I can stop her and when she smiles at me I realize it's too late. "Britt-Britt, you should choose something else. That sucker just turned your whole mouth blue."
I'm so damn tired.
Kurt kept making me try shirts and pants on to find the 'perfect combination' to go with my hair and skin complexion. I will never agree to him giving me a makeover again. Ever. And to top it all off, to make sure I made it to the rehearsal dinner on time, I couldn't do anything but shower and get dressed.
And now this dinner is so damn painful. I don't know what was going through her mind when she chose her attire for the night, but Britt is wearing the shortest dress ever. I love that damn navy blue dress that accentuates her long, perfect, drool inducing legs. She oozes sex appeal. But I hate that dress because Puck has been leering and wolf-whistling every chance he gets. He's so on my list.
Go swimming w me after this? – B
And yet she makes it all worth it.
I didn't bring a swimsuit :( –S
That's ok I have xtras :) –B
"You might want to stop smiling, people might actually think you're having a good time." I smack Kurt on the shoulder and turn my attention back to the Bridal party table. They're sitting at the front of the banquet hall at a large table with their fancy gold star nameplates and decorations while all of us peasants are sitting at lowly round tables with numbers on folded over white cardstock.
Hows the weather down there? :P – B
I might have sent Britt a really long message about the classism that the seating arrangement highlights, but she just laughed at me and told me I was being silly.
Oh you've got jokes do you, blue tooth? ;) –S
Let's blow this Popsicle stand. I'm bored outta my mind. –S
I still have to give my toast and u don't wanna miss it. Trust me. –B
But I might be willing to meet u in the bathroom after? –B
Is that a question or suggestion? Either way my answer is yes. – S
Kurt leans over to be a snoop and try to see what I'm writing, "Porcelain, this isn't a game of eye-spy or where's Waldo. Keep your damn eyes to yourself."
"Are you texting Britt right now?"
"Nunya."
"What the hell does that mean?"
I finally take my eyes off of my phone long enough to look at Kurt and roll my eyes, "nunya damn business."
"That might be true, but seeing as Quinn is giving you a death glare and Brittany is bright red you might want to stop the messages for the time being." Kurt has a smug grin plastered on his perfect little gay face and it would make me feel better if I could just smear some ketchup on it. But, as I've already found out: no ketchup per Rachel's request. Something about too much risk if Snixx comes to visit since they decided to have an easily stainable gold, white, and lavender color scheme.
"Ladies and Gents" I'm not a fan of Puck's, but he gets points for his impeccable timing, "it's toast time. Raise your glasses and I'll get us started. As you all know, I'm…"
I lean over to whisper to Kurt, "I still don't understand how he's here, who does he know?"
"He used to date Quinn before she came out and somehow they stayed friends. He likes to think he set them up and helped Quinn find Rachel, but I think they just keep him around because getting rid of him is kind of like turning off an episode of the Kardashians just as they start to bitch at each other. You know you're losing brain cells but it's too entertaining to change your ways."
"…and I'll wrap it up by saying, if you're ever interested in a threesome you know where to find me."
The look on Quinn's face is priceless. She's the picture perfect vision of barely-contained rage. Her fists are clenched around her napkin and a knife and I can seriously imagine the scene playing out in my mind.
Spoke too soon. I'm not bored. This just got fun again. –S
Some other people started talking and giving their toasts, but I stopped paying attention. It's all just regurgitating the same boring shit over and over again: 'you found your soulmate', 'you're perfect for each other', 'never seen you as happy as you are now', blah blah blah. Somebody needs to come up with something original or I'm liable to gouge my eyes out just to make it interesting again.
"Your girl's about to do her thing."
Kurt's voice bring me out of my daze and I look up as the instrumental beginning of Eminem's 'Without Me' starts to play.
Brittany grabs the microphone and walks to the front of the table, "This is for my best friend Quinn and her lovely bride-to-be, Rachel:
Two lovers in love
walk down the aisle
Down the aisle,
down the aisle
Two lovers in love
walk down the aisle
Down the aisle,
down the aisle
Guess who's here
to get wed?
Q and Rach.
Clap your hands.
Q and Rach.
Q and Rach.
Q and Rach.
Q and Rach.
I hope you have your glasses refilled and ready.
…
They met one night down by the sea
And at the bonfire she got down on one knee
Q said 'without you I just can't be
I wanna be your misses B.
Put on this ring. Pick out a dress.
Call up your girls and make the guest list.
We've gone steady but I know we're ready
Wanna be with you forever
LET'S GET MARRIED!
…
This looks like it's meant to be
So e'rebody just toast with me
Raise your glasses if you're thirsty
Cause tonight we're here to p-party!
This looks like it's meant to be
So e'rebody just toast with me
Raise your glasses if you're thirsty
Cause tonight we're here to p-party!"
She dances phenomenally: Check.
She likes kids: Duh, elementary school teacher. Check.
She's active: Have you seen those legs? Check.
She's smart: Stars analogy. Fucking genius. Check.
She can rap: Check. Check. Check.
I have no words for how turned on I am right now. None. And I don't know what I should do. Kurt seems to sense it too. "You're screwed."
Bathroom. Now. –B
Tell me about it.
I decide that the best thing for me to do is down the rest of my drink and find the sexy blonde that's got me all flustered. On my way to the bathroom I see Britt being cornered by Puck. "Hey Britt, can I talk to you for a sec?"
She nods frantically and shuffles her feet to get past an obviously inebriated Puck. "Now wait a minute, we're not done talkin' here. So just-"
Oh hell no. Did he seriously just try to dismiss me with a fucking 'shooing' motion? "Puck, I'm going to let you in on a little secret that's not an actual secret: Nice Santana is about point five seconds away from turning into Snixx rolling in on the Bitchtown Express. I've got razor blades all up in here," I gestured to my messy updo, "and I'll whip 'em out so quick you won't have time to move your greasy hands off my woman." He looks like he's about to argue with me so I point to my hair again, "quicker than Wolverine whipping out his claws. So back up bitch."
No sooner than we round the corner, Britt is pushing me against the wall and attacking my neck. "Get a room!" I don't know who said it and I don't really care. So I hold up my middle finger to politely tell them that I think they're number one.
Brittany pulls back slightly, panting trying to catch her breath, and I finally get a glimpse of her blue eyes. They're not just a shade darker than normal, her pupils are completely blown and I know mine are probably as black as the tight dress I have on. As much as I argued with Kurt about wearing pants tonight, he said I'd want to wear a dress. Maybe he knows something I don't.
"Can you two not keep it in your pants for one night? I swear you'd think you were the ones getting married…" I feel Brittany tense and I know she's processing Quinn's words the same way I am.
"I don't know what you're talking about, we were just talking."
"Santana, I'm not a fool. Plus, that huge ass hickey forming on your neck wasn't there just 5 minutes ago when I saw you rescue B from Puck."
I look over to Brittany as she pulls her hand out of mine. I immediately frown and miss the warmth of her body against mine. She starts to slowly back away and mouths 'bathroom' to me before turning and basically sprinting away. Quinn needs to hurry up she's cutting into my Britt-kiss time.
"Yeah, yeah got it. Can I go now? Had too much champagne. Gotta pee."
She looks me over one more time before taking a step closer to me, effectively eliminating any semblance of personal space I thought I had.
"Hurt her and I'll hunt you down. Capiche?"
Who the hell says capiche anymore? That fad went out when people stopped trying to idolize Italian-American gangsters and mob bosses. And suddenly I realize Britt must have been watching Scarface with Quinn, but that doesn't make sense. I thought Quinn lived near Rachel…
A light bulb comes on.
Literally. Above my head. And it completely throws my concentration off. What was I thinking about again?
I roll my eyes at my alcohol-induced forgetfulness and at Quinn's best-friend bravado, "I could say the same thing to you. So I guess we have an understanding."
We never made it hot tub. Hell, we barely made it the elevator. She had pinned me against the wall of the elevator and proceeded to attack my neck again. She ran her hands all over my body, sliding one hand up my dress and coming in contact with my barely covered center. I couldn't contain the way my hips bucked forward as I pulled her body in to mine. She lifted one of my legs up and I wrapped it around her waist while gripping on her back tightly.
She leaned forward and nibbled on my ear, "I've wanted to do this all night. I'm gonna have you screaming my name."
I almost came at the sexy husk and authoritative tone she had.
And here I am, basking in the glorious post-sex afterglow and warmth, laying next to one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen and I can't wipe the smile off my face. I could seriously get used to this. I shake my head at my own lameness; you knew what you were getting into when you agreed to this.
Her eyes flutter open again and she looks deeply into my eyes. It's scary, like she just might see every bad thing I've ever done, all of my faults and insecurities. I turn my head away, but she immediately puts her finger under my chin and turns it back again. She leans in and places a delicate kiss to my lips.
She's simply captivating and makes me feel things I didn't think I'd ever feel. We're both naked, wrapped in white hotel sheets, laying in the middle of her king bed with our clothes scattered all over the floor. My eyes slowly make their way from counting every freckle on her nose to diving in to her cerulean blues. But this time I notice the little golden flecks around her pupils that are like flames of a fire being contained by the calm of the cool blue.
My mom used to quote a poem some poem about fire and ice.
She said it again this morning as I was leaving the house to drop Brittany off before her luncheon. She tried to explain it once saying "hot" emotions like lust and anger get our attention quickly; while "cool" emotions like patience and empathy are tossed to the sideline. Fire gets all the publicity, yet it was the mighty iceberg that carved the magnificence that is the Grand Canyon. She used to always say fire left untamed would quickly grow out of control and ice left untouched wouldn't reveal the beauty beneath its surface. Each element is necessary for us to function and grow.
I finally understand. Britt is my ice and I want to be her fire. I'm screwed.
