Puppet Show
Giorgio and Evan enjoy a luxurious breakfast as they continue discussing which activities to queue for their vacation. Freshly baked Pão de queijo [Brazilian cheese puff rolls] have a pleasantly spongy and slightly gooey texture to bite into, as they are made with tapioca flour and parmesan. Tropical fruits have been fanned out on an ornate platter. Papaya, mango, watermelon, starfruit and guava halves make a colourful tapestry.
The rabanada [Brazilian style French toast] surprises them both with a familiar friend, the outside has been dusted with cinnamon sugar, while the inside has a thin layer of tres leches. Little cups of um pingo [black coffee] pairs wonderfully with the sweet treat.
"So!" Evan says happily continuing their discussion as he uses the back of his hand to wipe the watermelon juice off his mouth. "There's the Sucuri River which we can snorkel in, the water is a super crystal clear cyan."
"Don't forget a day for the hand gliding on Sugar Loaf Mountain." Giorgio suggests thoughtfully before he sips the last of his coffee.
"Oh! And! And! We can race our motorcycles along the coast and up the mountains!" Evan beams. "Then another day we can do some scuba diving in the ocean to see the coral reefs~"
Giorgio nods at Evan with a smile. "Okay, game plan for today. We get Nicolai's trade lists in the morning. We get back for lunch, and plan on how to dispose of that self-absorbed trash and then at his party in the evening we carry it out."
"Boom! The next day we can start our vacation adventures!" Evan proclaims raising the piece of starfruit on his fork triumphantly. "Mission accomplished in time for day three of Carnaval do Brasil!"
With Nicolai's favourite wrist-watch bugged with a tracker from the previous night, Giorgio and Evan tail Nicolai from a lengthy distance in an inconspicuous car.
Evan drives to an off track road which goes through a forest. Palm trees and tall figs adorned with orchids and attaching plantlets make the canopy. Slithering tree roots and large strappy leafed plants litter the soft tropical ground. He pulls over when he finds a spot with enough vegetation to hide the vehicle.
"This is good." Says Giorgio, looking up from his phone which display's the target's position from theirs. "Any more driving after him will look suspicious. How do you feel about nature hikes?" He asks an already smirking Evan.
They take a stealthy route off-track to avoid running into people, and it pays off when they spot an isolated aeroplane hangar by the coast.
"Sarah, we have a visual on one of his transport facilities." Giorgio reports to his mouth piece.
"Ok great, I'm loading a floor plan and live thermal visuals for myself." In her hotel room back at the Limão no Coco, Sarah accesses a satellite to overlay a thermal image feed to the floor plan of the hanger. "Go around to the east side, personnel on the site have left a fire escape door unattended."
"Good one, Sarah!" Evan cheers as they advance forward.
Once inside, Sarah gives them ample warning to avoid patrolling thugs as they navigate the walkways and halls. When they finally reach the executive office, Evan pulls out a flash drive and sticks it into the USB port of a laptop.
The screen flashes on, and loading bars start appearing and rapidly progressing.
[100% of files downloaded]
[VSSE Prometheus spyware successfully installed. Remote access of this network is enabled when online.]
[You may safely remove the USB device now.]
Evan retrieves the device and gives it an affectionate pat before tucking it away. With all the intel that they needed in their hands now, this means that they'll be able to progress with assassinating Nicolai soon.
For now however, they need to get back to the hotel undetected.
The duo enter a corridor from where they've entered from- and Giorgio spots a patrolling thug in time. He ducks behind some crates pulling Evan with him.
"Yeesh!" Exclaims Sarah. "Don't run so fast Evan! I need to give you a clear route first!"
Evan gives his unamused partner a sheepish look and whispers an apology back to his mouth-piece. "Sorry, got excited."
"That's ok! Just be patient…" She trailed off, knowing that it wasn't the blonde's strong suite. "Now in the next five metres, take a left and hide until the upcoming guards walk past you guys."
However, the guards make themselves comfortable, leaning themselves on the walls nearby to talk to each other about their Carnaval plans for what seems like an eternity.
Evan frowns and scrunches his fists. Yeah and if you dipsticks get out of here, we can make our own Carnaval plans as well.
Giorgio senses what his partner is displeased about and gives him a comforting nudge.
Evan exhales and leans against his partner a little, calming down. Until.
One guard asks the other. "Did you hear what Nicolai said this morning? It was fucking hilarious!"
The other one huffs. "If you mean how he's constantly bragging about how much wealthier he is than we are…"
"No, no, no. I mean how he said he invited a couple to his party last night, and he plans to sleep with the male model." The guard snorts.
Quoi? With Giorgio? Evan perks up, frown back up on his face.
"Sure why not?" The other guard laughs, humouring his friend. "If that model wants an expensive handbag, like all the other women who sleep with Nicolai— I'm sure he'll spread his legs!"
Giorgio is intensely staring daggers at the man's head through the wooden crate he's hiding behind. I can kill you using just a handbag, you little shit.
The silently fuming duo stay hidden for another hour before the idiotic pair finally finish taking their overextended lunch break.
"Freaking finally!" Evan curses in agitation, when they are both out of the hangar and making their way back to the car.
"Woah, Evan." Sarah remarks at his uncharacteristically harsh tone. "On the bright side, it beats that three hour wait you both did last night at the party."
"I'm not angry at those dipsticks, I'm angry at that human-sized turd Nicolai." Evan growls.
"Oh?" Giorgio asks, surprised.
"That jerk! —" Evan explains turning to him. "— is planning something like that with you, but he already knows we're both pretend-married to each other!"
Giorgio snorts, highly amused at Evan's anger at a planned infidelity.
"The hell does he think he is? I'm your best option!" Evan adds.
Hmph, so cocky. "Well…" Says Giorgio. "You are in the top three."
Sarah gasps through their earpieces. "Huuuuuuh noo…"
"Wait, what? Who are the other two?!" Evan squawks, completely taken by surprise.
"...Richard Miller, and Dwayne 'The Rock' Johnson." Giorgio says in a carefree tone. "They both smoulder when they smile."
"Bu—" Evan doesn't finish his sentence and stops walking.
Giorgio notices 'it' too and halts, giving his partner a nod.
Moments later, a loud crash sends the jungle dirt up in the air. A large projectile has hit the floor not far in front of them.
"Guys! What was that?!" Sarah worries.
"That... looks like a battle-axe." Giorgio coolly explains as he draws his weapon from its holster.
The massive axe is almost two metres in length from handle to weapon top. It has impossibly large blades on either side of the pole, each blade spanning an arm's length.
"What is this, the Viking Ages?!" Evan comments, calmly readying his gun as well and about to charge forward to investigate the weaponry.
"Pare aí!" A strange high pitched voice calls at them.
Uh oh. The agents raise their heads up to see a figure emerge from the lush foliage of the jungle. There's a red-haired hand puppet in a suit and bowtie. From the waist down, he becomes a bald man wearing all black. Scrawny and sickly looking, his appearance is not helped by his sunken eyes, eye bags and hollow cheeks. It's as if the puppet itself has sucked all the vigour out of its master.
With the attention satisfactorily turned onto him. The puppet boldly announces himself with a voice that sounds like Mickey Mouse and Bert from Sesame Street— had a love child, who then fell into meth at an early age.
"Senhoras e senhores! Eu sou Fantoche e isto é Ventríloquo. Coloque as mãos juntas e envie-nos seu aplauso estrondoso. Pois este é o maior e último show que você verá, seguindo-o - você morrerá entretido. Nós somos Os Artistas. Que as festividades nunca acabem."
Throughout the entire speech, the puppeteer himself has not so much as moved his lips. His glassy eyes don't focus on anything in particular, making him seem truly soulless.
Well that's not extremely unnerving at all. Evan thinks.
While it's extremely tempting to ignore the crazy hand puppet and ventriloquist duo and play the 'I'm a lost tourist' card to get out of there— the bald man is lugging a Thompson submachine gun with his free hand. He's also quite possibly the one who has launched the axe at them earlier.
Giorgio notes the classic heavy American-gangster weapon with the circular, 50 round ammunition drum attachment. However, it's barely being held up by the weak looking man. It makes the agent sceptical at his own hypothesis. You're not together with an actual person are you? You look too damn weak to have thrown that axe yourself...
"Vocês são policiais? Me respondam seus porcos!" The little puppet screams at them.
Evan shoots Giorgio a confused look before turning to speak to the strange man. "Uhhh parlez-vous francais? [Do you speak French?]"
Giorgio adds. "Or English, Italiano. We even learned a little bit of Russian from the time we went there."
"And we learned some Chinese off an action movie too!" Evan chirps.
"Evan, our Chinese is so broken it wouldn't help."
"But-gor gnor hor yi gong dong wah! [But I can speak Cantonese!]" Evan protests, heavily off tone.
Giorgio winces. "Please stop."
The little puppet sticks his hand up. "Wait! Shut up you pricks. I can do English! I can do English!"
"Oh yaaaay." Evan says flatly. Crazy speaks English. Whoop-de-doo.
The puppet rehashes the entire speech it had given just before in Portuguese.
"Ladies and Gentlemen! I am Fantoche and this is Ventríloquo." The puppet gestures to his lifeless human. "Put your hands together, and send us your thunderous applause. For this is the greatest and last show you will ever see, following it— you will die entertained. We are The Performers. May the festivities never end."
"Oh great." Says Evan. "Now that we actually understood it that was much more cryptic."
"Gimme that you weakling!" Fantoche screams at Ventríloquo. The puppet rips the Thompson machine gun from the ventriloquist's other hand and begins firing the weapon with his own little puppet hands. Bullets spray at the agents in successive bangs.
"MORRER! [DIE!]"
Author's Note:
-The special USB Evan uses is named after a titan in Roman mythology. Prometheus steals fire from the Gods to keep the humans down on earth warm.
-With all the guns I've researched between this fic and VSSE Blues, I'm pretty sure I'm on a government watch-list now...
