Chapter 9
Fitz Thoughts
I know it was wrong to suggest that Olivia did not put our baby first. I know that there is nothing Olivia would not do for Josie. For heaven's sake, she is letting me have a relationship with my daughter while I remain in office. However as grateful as i am to her for Josie, I am burning with rage at her betrayal.
i have already learned to accept that my election was rigged. But that's not it. That's not what is killing us. The mistake is nothing. I mean, rigging the election is a big deal but it is not what is bringing our relationship to the grave. The betrayal was not defiance. She let me believe something that was not. And if we don't have truth as a foundation in our relationship, if the cornerstones of our love is deception, then our relationship is bound to crumple. I guess that's what's happening. I want so badly for it to be okay with me. I want for us to go back to the way we were. Maybe actually have our own life, live in the country or something, and grow old together. I want to be able to move past this. They say time heals but goddamned, it's been almost a year and the wound is still fresh. They want me to dress it, stop the bleeding, but I don't want to. The ringing is the only I have left of her. So, I refuse to let it go. Hers seems to be getting better. She is smiling now. I just hope she has not tuned me out. Life is a real dirty bitch.
