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He's Not Yours
Chapter 3

He's not yours. Those words echoed in Elizabeth's head as she exited the park and took one quick glance behind her to see Jason leaving with Brenda. Every time she watched him walk away, her heart screamed for him to come back but the words never came out of her mouth. And as Elizabeth left the park she realized another male in Port Charles was not hers. As she looked down she also realized she would concentrate on the two precious gifts holding her hands to get her through.

After Elizabeth and the boys arrived home, she made lunch for the three of them and laid the boys down for a nap. Elizabeth walked downstairs and sat on the couch and began to cry as she had done every time the boys were asleep for the last three weeks. Elizabeth stood from the couch and walked to the mantel. She fingered the photos that sat there until she came to the one of Emily. She picked it up and took it with her to the kitchen and sat down at the table.

"Emily, I need you so much right now. Sometimes I think that if you were still here then my life may not be such a mess. Jason and I may still have been together and have our little girl and…" Elizabeth paused fighting back tears. "You'd be here for Aiden. I don't know how this happened, Emily, but I am going to find out." Elizabeth reached for the phone and dialed a number she never thought she would dial. After the third ring Elizabeth spoke "Hi, this is Elizabeth. Yes. Listen, I need your help. Can you meet me tomorrow at the docks? Good, thank you. And no one can know about this, ok? Good. I will see you at noon tomorrow." Elizabeth hung up the phone and wondered if this would help her or make her feel worse. Elizabeth rose from her chair and began to walk to the stairs to wake the boys.

As Elizabeth came back down the stairs a little later, with the boys in tow, there was a knock at the door. Elizabeth sent the boys into the living room to play and opened the door to Brenda and Robin.

"Ummm…Hello." Elizabeth said a little confused to see Brenda Barrett at her home.

"Hi, Elizabeth. I know you have told me you weren't up to visitors but you are my friend I wanted to see you. Can we come in?"

"Yes, of course."

"You don't mind me being here, do you?" Brenda asked.

"No not at all. Can I get you anything?"

"No. We just came from Kelly's." Robin spoke. "Hey, guys. I've missed you. What are you playing with?" Robin sat down with the boys to play. Elizabeth thought this was a little unusual as Patrick was usually the one to play with the boys but she waved it off.

"Do you want to take a walk outside, Elizabeth?" Brenda asked.

"Sure. Robin, will you be ok with the boys?"

"Yea, we'll be fine. Go get some fresh air."

Brenda and Elizabeth walked out the back door into the brisk fall air. They circled the back yard a few times in silence before Elizabeth finally spoke.

"Brenda, why are you here? We don't even know each other."

"Honestly?"

"Yes, please. I need honesty in my life right now."

"When I saw you with Jason today, I was taken back in time. The good girl who is in love with the bad boy. I have loved Sonny most of my life and I have tried to move on. I have watched with other women and felt pain in my heart. I have loved other men but never like Sonny. I saw that today in you. I had heard about the baby and knew you were grieving in your own way for a child and I saw that pain but when you looked at Jason I saw something more. And the more my heart broke for you and I didn't even know you. And I honestly saw myself and wanted to help you. I have no idea what you are going through but I do know I want to help you scream through it as often as you need to. I know you are tired of people telling you that everything will be alright and I am not going to tell you that. You will most likely feel that pain in your heart forever but I want to help a good girl out." Brenda left out a little chuckle.

"Thank you, Brenda, but I can do this on my own."

"I'm sure you can, but what would it hurt to just let out a big scream to the world to let it know how angry you are. For everything that has went wrong and everything that has gone right. Try it, I bet it will help."

"Brenda, really, I don't need to scream."

"Try it. It's all I ask."

"Fine." Elizabeth took a big breath and screamed as loud and as long as she could. She screamed for Aiden, for Jason, for Emily, for the Elizabeth she once was, for the mom she wanted to be to her boys, for the answers she still needed and for the life she wanted. Elizabeth never realized she could scream so long and she never realized how much it really helped. Elizabeth finally stopped screaming and crumbled to the ground in tears. Brenda sat down beside her and hugged her tight.

"Sssshhhh." Brenda continued to whisper in Elizabeth's ear. When Elizabeth's sobs quieted Brenda spoke "How did that feel?"

"Really good. Thank you"

"Anytime."

"How did you know screaming would help?"

"I have screamed so many times, I can't even count them. But afterwards I knew I was stronger because I was still standing and even though I was hurting I would survive and continue on. And I didn't want to continue on in pain, so I felt like when I screamed I was screaming the pain away. Corny, huh?"

"No, it really makes sense. And I do feel better but I still need answers."

"I know and I believe you will get them."

"Really?"

"Yea. You seem like a person that doesn't give up."

"I wish I was like that but on this I won't give up."

"I didn't think you would. Do you mean you gave up on Jason?"

"Yea, sometimes I feel like if I would have fought harder he'd be here with me now and not at just some random moment in the park…and here I am telling you all this and you have no idea what I am talking about. I am sorry I didn't mean to drag you into my Jason drama."

"Don't be sorry. I already asked Robin about you two. But even if I hadn't asked Robin I knew there was a story. Jason wouldn't tell me so I asked Robin. But don't be mad at her for telling me."

"I'm not. I am tired of hiding one of the most important times of my life."

"So why hide it?"

"Because Jason thinks it will keep us safe. I have always believed in him but I don't believe in this. But maybe it was just an excuse to be able to run off on adventures at the drop of a hat, to reunite with Sam, to be with Michael, Carly, Sonny whenever they needed him. I don't know. I still love him but sometimes I wonder if he ever loved me but I convince myself he did because I don't want to live with the thought that he didn't."

"I can tell you that when Jason was with you today, I saw the real Jason and I haven't see that Jason since before we were married. There is something going on with him but he will never tell me." Brenda said with a giggle.

"I am sure he won't. But you do know you hold a special place with him?"

"Oh, I am sure there are some special places he'd like to send me." Brenda said laughing.

"I'm serious. He has kept your room the same since you left, so you always had a home to come back to if you needed it. No matter how bad you fight with him." Elizabeth said giggling. "Brenda, thank you so much for this. Being able to scream about Aiden and talk about Jason has helped me. I am far from healed but I do see a little light at the end of the tunnel."

"Elizabeth, anytime you need to scream or talk I am here."

"Thank you. I am not ready to talk about Aiden yet. I still have questions that need answered before I can even start to talk about it but I am glad that I have made a new friend that understands that."

"You are welcome. I am glad to be your friend. We better get inside. I bet your boys are waiting for you." Brenda and Elizabeth stood and headed into the house.

Robin and Brenda stayed at Elizabeth's for few more hours playing with the boys and helping Elizabeth out around the house. Elizabeth seemed to have a little more energy after her talk with Brenda and Robin was thankful that Brenda could help Elizabeth even if it was just a little bit.

Brenda and Robin headed their separate ways after leaving Elizabeth's; Robin walked home and Brenda headed to Jason's penthouse to get some sleep. When Brenda entered the penthouse, Jason was sitting on the couch.

"Hey, what are you doing here? You're not out saving the world"

"Not tonight. Why were you at Elizabeth's house this evening?"

"How did you know where I was?"

"Brenda, your guards work for me."

"Part of the deal with the guards, is that they would not tell you where I was unless I was putting myself in danger. As far as I can tell, Elizabeth is not putting me in danger. So the way I see it is, I need new guards who I can trust or you are keeping tabs on Elizabeth. Which one is it?"

"It is none of your business how I know where you are. I just want to know why you were there and I want to know now."

"Well that is none of your business." Brenda snapped as she walked up to steps to her room, half up she stopped and spoke again. "Shouldn't you be more concerned with what your girlfriend is doing and not the ex you left behind?" Brenda disappeared up the stairs, leaving a dumbfounded Jason just staring after her.

Brenda shut the door behind her as she entered her bedroom. "I told him I would find out." Brenda said with a mischievous smile.


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