E/N: I don't own anything you recognize.

B/N: sigh And neither do I unfortunately. Though I wish so thoroughly that I did.

There are some differences between my chapter and the one Em3191's posting the largest of which are tense changes. She originally wrote this chapter in past tense, but I just personally like the way that it flows in present tense, but I assumed that she liked the flow with past tense, so I let her keep her past tense and I kept my present tense. And I figured I could do that cause we're posting on different accounts.

Also, I know temporarily in the summary it said that this story was not going to be slash. However, I was talking to Em3191 and she said that maybe, possibly I could make it slash, if the story headed in that direction. But it would only be on my account if that is where it went, cause we weren't originally intending to make it slash, and so the original would go on hers. I will of course let you all know if this version does change to slash. I don't mean to get anyone's hopes up by writing this however because honestly I don't know if this story will go in that direction. I just thought I should throw that out there just in case. And I want absolutely no flames later in the story if it does turn slash because I've given you all proper warning as of now. It's not my fault if you refuse to read author's notes.

And now after the longest author's note in the history of author's notes, I give to you: the next chapter!


Chapter 3 A Pirate's Life for Me

January 15

Hi Bartholomew,

Ugh, Sirius is right, I really need to change your name. Of course I'm right! I always am, Moony. I promise by the end of this entrée you will have a better name. Anyway, I just finished this killer potions test and I'm going to relax in the dorm.

Approaching dorm

Well would you look at that…is that water? What's going on did Peter flood the bathroom again?! Ugh, that was gross. I repressed that. Wait I hear singing…and it's not Peter! What a relief. Oh Merlin its Sirius. Hey! I'll have you know I'm an amazing singer! What is going on in there? What the hell is he singing? What song is there possibly about "really bad eggs?" Argh, I'll give you one guess matey! What is he doing in there? Well, gulp I guess the only way to find out is to go in...

Of all the scenarios running through my head what I see in there is not somthing I could ever be prepared for. Of course not, for I am the great original Padfoot!

As soon as I open the door water races towards me. I close the door and realize the water goes up to my chest. Looking around the dorm—if you could call it that—I see it's been transformed into what looks like a Pirate Hideout or an ocean. The Great Ocean of the Dogs, Dust Bunnies, and Werewolves! Taking another look around I can see something swimming toward me. It seems that Sirius has charmed inflatable muggle pool toys. I can see a shark, a crocodile, and oh, another shark, swimming toward me.

I swear I think I just saw an octopus. Ocktie!

And if you don't mind I need to get to my bed…uh ship, and away from this very life-like shark. I made it. Whew. I hear laughter…Sirius! Me! Of course me, who else?

"Argh! Looks to me like our other captain has finally showed up!" Sirius says from his ship. My ship! All mine!

"How… why…what did you do to our room!?" I splutter.

"I wanted to play pirates." He answers simply with a shrug.

"Argh, Captain Moony, go below deck and change into your Pirate Clothes." Sirius says.

Oh well, if you can't beat 'em join 'em.

I change into my pirate costume, eye patch and all. When I come back above deck I realize Sirius has a similar costume: bandana on his head, a hat with no feather, a tattered coat…and is that James' owl on his shoulder? Why yes, Moony, it is. The only difference between Sirius' costume and mine is that I have an eye patch and didn't get a fancy hat. My fancy, fancy, fancy haaaaaaaaat!

"Ok Moony, prepare for battle! Argh!." Sirius barks and his crew hops up on deck.

Merlin those dust bunnies definitely got bigger. Some of them actually resemble rabbits now. That's quite disturbing really. It's not disturbing! They're amazing! And Nib's wife is going to have babies soon too!

It is really hard to not laugh at Sirius' crew. Seeing dust bunnies in pirate hats, eye patches and peg legs, and sporting inflatable swords is pretty humorous.

Dear Merlin, the dust bunnies are now jabbing the inflatable swords in the air. sigh Trust Sirius to have a mutant bunny crew. DO NOT DARE TO MOCK THE DUST BUNNY CREW OF THE GREAT CAPTAIN PADFOOT!! DOOM AND DESTRUCTION UPON YOUR SHIP!! DOOM AND DESTRUCTION I SAY!!

"Ok crew, ready the cannons and fire at Moony!" Sirius commanded as he went to the helm, singing the pirate song that I heard earlier.

I am unable to find my own cannon at the moment. But I did find my limited edition copy of Hogwarts, A History that's been missing for two months.

"Fire!" Sirius shouted and I am bombarded with toilet paper, pillows, and…rubber ducks?! Where did Sirius find his ammunition? The house elves love Master Sirius. Muahahaha!!

I finally found a cannon.

Now I can honestly say that I have participated in a full-fledged sea-battle. This is very engrossing, and very enjoyable. Sea Battle! Hooray

I look toward the door and see James fighting off a crocodile and Peter being dragged under the water by an octopus. Ocktie! I halt the battle quickly, so that we can go over to help them. They climb into their ships and go below deck, change into their costumes, and come back up ready to battle. Pirate garb, Moony! Not costumes!

Oh, looks like Peter is attempting to board Sirius' ship. Good God those dust bunnies are brutal. I have trained them well.

"Peter get back to you boat if you wish to live!" I yell out.

Uh-oh. A loud ominous crack just echoed through the room. I don't think our dorm ins made to hold this much water….Oh Merlin…

The door bursts open, spilling the water and everything else from our dorm into the common room. We zoom into the common room. Sirius is shooting at everything in sight, now.

Look at those first years run. They must really not like toilet paper, pillows, and rubber ducks. First years are wimps.

Oh and the charmed pool toys seem to have found the third years. I hope that girl didn't value her shoes above all possessions.

The battle rages on. The change of scenery merely serving to make the dust bunnies viciously protective of their ship…Hey! That's my chocolate! Sorry, Moony. I'll buy you more, I promise.

Gulp It just hit a soaking wet Professor McGonnagal in the face. She looks like she doesn't know whether to laugh or scream. Personally, I hope she'll do the former. I like it when she screams. It's funny!

While she decides, let's do a quick survey of the room. Hmm….

Peter is currently tied to the mast on Sirius' ship, and is being held hostage by the dust bunnies. Yeah crew! His own ship is being used by those who need safety from the violent pool toys' attacks. Sirius is poised and ready to swing from the Crow's Nest of his ship and onto mine, the rope tight in his hand. Board, ahoy! James' ship is rapidly sinking and he is clinging to the mast trying to climb higher, and avoid the octopus on his deck. And I am just about to fire a cannon at Sirius' ship. My ship, Moony! How could you! tear I've taught you so well!

McGonagall's started the lecture now, and she's rapidly turning scarlet and we just all were assigned detentions. Got to go journal we need to de-flood the common room. How does one de-flood a room, exactly?

Ahoy Matey,

Remus J. Lupin and Sirius O. Black…Moony what does the J stand for?

P.S. Thought of a name—how does Jack sound? Like you think you're journal is a puppy. Or a drunken pirate. I still vote for Padoony. But of course you won't listen to me now will you? Of course you don't because you don't want to admit that I'm smarter than you! Which I am of course!


B/N: Reviewing makes me happy! Review! Review! Review! PLEASE!!

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

Bee :)