Icha Icha Onsen Chapter 3

Disclaimer

I do not own Naruto or any other characters, nor am I making any profit by writing this. This is for my amusement entirely.

Warnings Mild swearing, not so mild smex, blackmail

"Thank you for the meal!"

"I swear Naruto, you practically inhaled that ramen." Sighed Sasuke as he rolled his weight back onto his supporting arms. Naruto sat across from him at the table, flat on his back as he rubbed his tummy in pure bliss. The noodles always had this effect on him, like he had found Nirvana in his stomach. Naruto raised his head enough to see Sasuke's face past the stack of ceramic bowls in front of him. He let out a pleased smile and fell back on the floor, enjoying the sluggish stupor the carbohydrates brought.

Kiba sat next to the prostrate ninja, and scoffed. "Dude, you had over ten bowls of ramen in twenty minutes. Weaker men would call that a new form of torture to eat that much in so little time."

"Hey" Naruto drawled, "If this is torture, chain me to the wall."

"Now, now children, no kinky stuff until after dessert." Kakashi lazily cut in, his mask back in place after the meal. Unfortunately nobody had payed any attention to the once-in-a-lifetime chance to see Kakashi's face, and had missed it entirely.

Lee was letting out a satisfied sigh, trying to ignore Gaara's fixed stare on him. It felt like the redhead had been watching him the entire dinner. "Too bad Chouji-kun didn't come with us."

Shikamaru lolled his head back, eyes unfocused as satiation creeped through his body. "When you've got a girlfriend like Ino, you don't break 'special' dates that's she has got planned." He cricked his neck to the side. "So, what do we do now?"

Gai's ears perked up. He jumped up, turning in a full circle on one foot to finish in a particularly dramatic Nice Guy pose. Every tooth on display, he thundered, "Ah, my young ward of this trip! Tonight we, the chaperones, have prepared a very special and glorious activity of YOUTH!"

Shikamaru immediately turned to the other chaperones, who were all sitting at one end of the table. "Care to translate?"

Kakashi and Asuma simply shrugged, "Like he said, an activity of youth."

"Yeah. Youth with a capital Y"

"Definitely capitalized."

Iruka snorted in frustration "Honestly, you two can be so lazy. I don't know how you two ever got off your lackadaisical butts long enough to be jounin."

"Aww, Iruka you know you love my butt." Kakashi rubbed his head against Iruka's shoulder as one lean arm snaked around the perturbed chunin's waist. Iruka let out a small squeak.

"Yeah, Iruka. If you ever saw my butt, I think you would be pretty happy with it, too."

Iruka's face deepened into a dangerous face of red as snickers spread around the table. He pinched Kakashi's squeezing hand, which retracted immediately. Kakashi pouted as Iruka talked rather loudly, "It's a surprise. But I'm sure you'll enjoy it. When you're all done with dessert, we'll go outside and start."

SCENECHANGELOL!ONE!!1

"Okay, everyone here?" Kakashi asked, though his tone made it sound like he didn't care whether or not everyone was. The group stood at the fringe of the hot springs, which transformed into a dark pine forest. "You're going on a walk of courage."

"You have got to be joking." Neji broke in. Shikamaru's face was a picture slothful annoyance. "Yeah. The group of us know approximately six hundred and seventy-three different ways to kill a person, not to mention incapacitate. And you want us to go on a fright walk?"

"Neji, Shikamaru, if you don't want to participate, you can go back to your room and miss out on the chance of forming stronger bonds with your teammate." Iruka lightly said, as if the formidable ninjas were misbehaving kindergartners. The two secretly looked at each other, the smirk on Shikamaru's face caused Neji's to flush.

'And you won't win the prize at the end of the walk." Asuma chipped in, causing all ears to perk up.

"Who's explaining the rules?" Kakashi interrupted. When he got silence, he started again. "Right, so you guys will be in teams of two. The teams need to get through the forest behind me, scaling the terrain to reach the shrine at the top. First team will ring the bell there once, where a chaperone will greet you and give you your prize." He tapped the radio on his neck as he continued, "Otherwise chaperones will maintain contact between themselves as we monitor your progress and every once and a while frighten the living daylights out of you. You can be disqualified for cheating, trying to kill your frightener, and whatnot. Yes, Naruto.'

Naruto lowered his hand. "How do you plan to frighten us?"

"Well that would ruin the surprise, now wouldn't it?" Kakashi's eye crinkled "But remember that we chaperones have known you guys for years. We know your weak spots." He ended lightly, causing a ripple of fear to spike through Naruto's, and probably everyone else's, spines. Kakashi just had that way of scaring the bejeebers out of you with only his one eye showing and a sentence.

Iruka was apparently ignoring the varying levels of fear stricken on the teens' faces, as he cheerfully held out a paper bag. "Alright, everybody! Reach in and pick a number! You'll be paired up with the other person holding that number. We'll know if your cheating, and hold it for future reference during the walk."

Had every adult become capable of simultaneously nice and scary at the same time? How was it possible?

Hands went in, retrieving the slips. Kiba stood next to Shino, Shikamaru lounged next to an uncomfortable looking Neji. Gaara held his scrap silently as Iruka congratulated Lee. "You get to be with Gaara, Lee-kun!

Lee whispered a "meep"

Gaara had what could only be interpreted as a smile across his pale face.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other. Naruto fidgeted for a moment, not wanting to bring into reality what they both knew what was going to happen. Sasuke sighed, shoved his hand into the bag, and pulled the remaining slips out. He thrust one into Naruto's hand. Iruka beamed, "You two will be in Team Three."

Asuma pointed to the four dark openings in the slightly forbidding forest. Each had a small number by it's respective entrance, "To your places teams. C'mon, haul it."

The teams were in place when Gai began an elaborate dance as he trumpeted, "Alright, my youthful wards! On the glorious count of three! One! TWO!—"

"Just go."

"Kakashi, my eternal rival! How could you interrupt my start of youth?! Once again you've won over me! I demand a battle here and now!"

"Gai, you might want to start tracking Kiba and Shino. They've already left with the others." He pointed to the rapidly retreating backs of the contestants.

Gai immediately stopped ranting, and spun off to follow Team 1. Asuma crushed out the stub of his cigarette, nodded and proceeded to trace Team 4, Gaara and Lee.

Kakashi nuzzled Iruka's ear as he whispered sensually, "Let's hope that one team gets there quick. I've got a surprise for you myself afterwards."

Iruka turned a violent shade as he tried to remember how to breathe. Kakashi gave him a chaste peck on the cheek and a roguish wink, before he zipped off after Team 2. Iruka shook his head, and focused on following his team. No sexy thoughts of what 'surprise' Kakashi had in store. No guessing….maybe it was….bad Iruka, no guessing….damn. He hoped that Sasuke would keep his hands off Naruto long enough to win. Iruka didn't know how long he could last with Kakashi's words echoing in his head.

As Iruka's figure disappeared into the darkness, a shadowed one stepped out from a large boulder formation at the edge of the hot springs. It's echoed chuckle was barely heard in the empty forest.

ANOTHERSCENECHANGEOMG!LOL!1!

Sasuke and Naruto hopped quickly from branch to branch, trying to find some way to their destination. Naruto glanced over occasionally to Sasuke's profile, noticing how concentrated the brunette seemed on their ascent. Or was Sasuke trying to avoid eye contact for some other reason? Naruto hardly paid attention on what he was jumping on as he watched the dark teen next to him. Sasuke didn't need to focus THAT much on their path, did they? Sasuke's eyes flickered to Naruto, and hurriedly turned back forward. But Naruto saw it. Sasuke was purposely ignoring him! Why though?

"Sasuke?"

The ninja grunted.

"What are you ignoring me for?"

"Don't get so self-interested, idiot. I'm trying to find a easy path uphill."

"Well, talk to me, at least."

"Cripes, Naruto. I get focused for five minutes and you flip. Who'd guess you would be such a high maintenance person?"

"Jerk! I was trying to make this more interesting. Besides, who knows who is watching us right now, planning to scare, and I quote, 'the living daylights' out of us?"

"High maintenance and a wuss. Go figure."

"Stop teasing me! Now start talking or I'll sing my ramen song."

"You wouldn't dare."

Naruto coughed, and began

"Oh Ra-men

How I adore you

Full of noodles

Sliced pork and tofu"

"ALRIGHT! What do you want to talk about?!!"

Naruto scratched his head as he pushed off another branch, "Um, I'm not sure."

"Then why are you complaining?! You know what you are?"

"Completely irresistible?"

Sasuke's eyes widened at the response, a blush creeping across his cheeks. Naruto saw the expression before the brunette turned to face the opposite direction, shielding the sudden emotion.

"Sasuke—'

"Totally annoying. That's what you are."

"So I'm not completely irresistible?"

Sasuke muttered under his breath. Naruto craned his neck, "Didn't catch that.'

"I said not completely!"

It was Naruto's turn to be stunned. What was Sasuke saying? "Sasuke, what did you—"

Before he could finish a blur flashed past his right. It careened right into Naruto, forcing him land prematurely on a close pine bough. Unprepared for the landing, he broke the chakra control on his feet, causing the blonde to stumble and fall.

"Naruto!"

Naruto felt a weight envelop him as tree limbs blurred past his vision. He gripped onto the weight around him with one hand. He concentrated and righted his weight, falling on his feet in a crouched position, still clasping onto to similarly crouching figure. He then realized that Sasuke was holding him tightly and they were inches from a particularly deep ditch. Naruto felt Sasuke's slightly hitched breath brush a sensitive spot behind his ear, felt the arms around tighten. "Sasuke? Are you all right?"

"I'm the one who should be asking that, idiot." Sasuke pulled back enough to gaze intensely, and rather closely, into Naruto's wide eyes. "How about you?"

Naruto gulped. He was pinned by those eyes that sparkled in the full moon's light. The slim eyebrows were furrowed into a cute expression of worry and annoyance. Naruto tried to string coherent words together "Ah well, I'm, ah, you know, um—"

Again Naruto was interrupted, this time by a quick and forceful shove directly at his back. Naruto and Sasuke yelled as they simultaneously tripped into the ditch. Naruto was quicker this time, landing onto springy moss that softened the weight that collided with his chest. He let a small grunt, wincing at the unexpected hit. Mind finally whirred back into life. He was alive, if a little sore. Sasuke was safe, too. He had fallen squarely on top of Naruto, preventing any injury. Wait, Sasuke on top of….

"I hate repeating myself but, are you okay, Naruto? Naruto?"

"Fine!" came the high response.

Sasuke squirmed, only to realize that he had landed on top of the blonde's torso, legs on either sides of Naruto's hips. Arms still wrapped around the idiot's shoulders, their face was mere inches away. Sasuke felt a thrill of electricity run through him as their groins made contact. Naruto groaned, making Sasuke even more excited. He stared into Naruto's face, the full moon accentuated the eyes screwed shut and panting mouth. Emboldened by the blonde's responsiveness, Sasuke decided to throw caution to the wind.

"Naruto."

"What?"

"Look at me."

Eyes opened, and widened when Sasuke's lips descended onto his. The brunette traced Naruto's lower lip with his tongue, eliciting a gasp. Sasuke took the chance and slid that artful tongue into Naruto's warm mouth, challenging the blonde to fight.

Naruto's mind had finally shut down and instinct jumped in eagerly. His arms tightened around the slimmer boy's waist, dragging him deeper in as his tongue began to clash with Sasuke's. The friction between the two's groins made them moan into each others' mouths. Teeth clacked as the battle for dominance continued. Naruto enjoyed this new sparring, and he groaned as Sasuke did a particularly erotic twist over his tongue. He knew that Sasuke was winning, but Naruto had a trick up his sleeve. He glided his hands down to cup the brunette's taut rear. Naruto pulled away from the furious battle, dragging the other boy roughly over his hardening lap. Sasuke threw his head back and moaned, only to find Naruto smirking at his new achievement. Sasuke growled, and pulled the blonde's lower lip into a harsh bite. Naruto gasped at the pain, but was mewling (honest to God mewling) as Sasuke smoothed the hurt with his tongue. A final sweep of the tongue and a burning kiss Sasuke pulled away turn focus his attention on Naruto's neck as he ground his hips back and forth.

Barely able to from constantly groaning in pleasure, Naruto lolled his head to the side to give Sasuke better access. He tried to guide the dark boy's hip motions only to feel the bites deepen as the sparks shot through the both of them.

Naruto gazed up, finally noticing how far down they were. He figured the ditch was about ten feet deep, and he could barely see the moon through the dense forest.

"Sasuke."

The brunette sucked the vein at the base of Naruto's neck with particular fervor, only barely recognizing Naruto's quiet words. He pulled back for a moment before attacking the blonde's ear.

"What is it?"

"Do you like me?"

Sasuke smirked as he whispered especially sensually "Would I do this to someone I disliked." He ground particularly roughly as he latched onto Naruto's soft earlobe. The blonde gasped, trying to get the next question past his dry throat.

"That's…ugh…not an answer."

"Well," Sasuke was enjoying teasing the blonde, "How about this then?" His fingers ghosted over Naruto's thin shirt, scratching a pattern as he licked the shell of his ear. Naruto was getting harder and harder pressed to not just totally succumb, but he needed to know.

"Unh! More…wait… its just that…I think I…"

"Think what?"

"…that I…love you!"

Sasuke's talented mouth stopped. His hips froze and settled gently over Naruto's lap, no longer infuriating the blonde. He pulled back to look piercingly into Naruto's half-lidded eyes. Eyebrows knitted, he slowly murmured "What did you say?"

Naruto flushed into his face. He felt incredibly sappy and stupid for asking, but he knew what his heart was crying out for. "I want to know if you love me. Otherwise, I won't be able be alright doing this with you."

Sasuke paused, and opened his mouth slowly…

"Oh, there you two are. Hey Nara, guess what I found."

"They down there, huh? Figures."

Naruto turned his head sharply to see his most loathed blackmailers lazily staring down at them. "You guys always come in at the wrong damn time!"

Shikamaru shrugged "Well forgive me, Sir Whines-A-Lot. If you want to remain stuck down there, then please continue with your complaints."

Sasuke shifted off Naruto, pulling the blonde up once he steadied himself in the narrow crevasse.

"Give us a hand then."

"But, Sasuke—" Naruto began to ask before he was silenced with a fast kiss.

Sasuke smirked and whispered, "Later."

Shikamaru turned to Neji as he bent down toward the ditch. "Told you we should of brought the camera."

"It's not like they're finished for tonight." Neji muttered right back. "We'll have time."

After the two missing nin were extricated, Neji scoffed "You sure know how to get into trouble, Uzumaki. Iruka was about to bring ANBU up here to find your sorry, albeit profitable, butt."

"Wasn't Iruka worried about Sasuke?" Naruto was busy dusting off his still slightly tight pants.

"Nah." Shikamaru shrugged "Unlike you, Uchiha can survive being lost, if the great Uchiha clan are capable of such lowly human errors."

"While you are not allowed around lighters anymore." Neji piped in.

"It was an accident I tell you! Everyone is capable of setting their pants on fire!"

"Possibly. But you're capable of doing it with an empty lighter and a bottle of sake."

"So I'm a cheap drunk! Must you fully humiliate me?!"

"Oh, we are nowhere near complete in humiliating you," Neji continued.

Sasuke smirked, enjoying the sight of Naruto's face was scarlet up to his ears. Intrigued by this new information, he joined in, "You set your own pants on fire?"

"Aw c'mon Sasuke, don't side with these guys!"

"Yep. Apparently Naruto can set himself on fire after too much alcohol."

Naruto's pride had been killed. Caught, thrown into a blender, and liquefied in course of one sentence. He just hoped that they would get to the shrine before the evil blackmailers remembered any more embarrassing anecdotes. The four walked off into the dark forest, laughter and curses resound through the silent forest.

Author's Note

Hey everyone! Thanks for being so patient in me updating! But two chapters in two days was a stroke of luck and something I won't easily replicate, so I will be updating once a week from now on. Mostly Thursday and Friday. And yesterday was my birthday, so grant me a late birthday wish and please comment! That will get me to create more embarrassing situations to put your fave charas in! And I apologize for the abrupt ending here, I was running out of time and ideas. The next chapter will be much better, I promise. Sorry for going on a bit, but I needed to get that news out of the way.