All right… Hi, I'm Jesca :D And this is my story 'Crossover'. It's sort of a side thing that I've been doing other than Paramour. Well anyway, I know the beginning sort of sucked n.n" and yah. But the chapters have been getting better, in my point of view anyway, so wait for something better to come. I hoped you've enjoyed this story to some extent and pwease review, I wanna know what you guys think! ;D
(hang in there Paramour fans, I'm so sorry for the delay I know all of you want to kill me :( (major sad face) )
-jesca (ethrealheartbeat)
"Now, Mr. Carter… here is the cafeteria. This is one of our last stops. I'm sure you've found everything to your liking…; your room and other areas. Jewel has told me she's taken you outside in the recreation area,"
I nodded, sighing and still looking towards the very light green linoleum tiled floors. I hated how they talked to you as if you were slow. But everyone here had mental disabilities, so I guess they were required to.
I guessed my mental disability had to do with that I had lashed out at someone and thought that I was a vampire.
A stout woman with blonde hair and dark piggy eyes named Marcy was giving me the grand tour of my prison. She'd showed me already the fair few rooms we had access to whenever we wanted. And no surprise, they were just as depressing as my own room.
There was a games room, the recreation area, the cafeteria, guidance counselling, lounging areas, visiting rooms, group session rooms, and of course the patients rooms. We could only visit half of those areas when we wanted to.
As I thought of the visiting rooms, I wondered if Ellen would pop by any time, though I highly doubted it. From some of the conversations I had drifted into before, it seemed that I was public enemy number one and a highly dangerous person.
"Hello! My name's Kendra," Someone's high, pretty, excited voice sounded in front of me. I stopped, and raised my head to see a girl standing not centimetres away from me with a big attractive smile on her fair face. I looked straight into lively bright blue eyes with my own remarkably dark blue eyes.
"Umm, Kendra deary? Do you remember what we talked about in our last session? People like their personal space,"
Kendra's expression fell slightly, and I shook my head. I was surprised our noses didn't rub together as I did so –we were standing that close.
"Don't worry about it Kendra –I don't mind."
She smiled brilliantly once more, and Marcy shot me a dangerous look. She was not in the least pleased to be contradicted by me; I might have been setting Kendra back in some sort of behavioural training that prevented her to do this to people. But for some reason I had no problem with it like most other people would have. It was weird –I would not let anyone else do it, especially because I doubted my self control now because at any time, I could do what I did to Monica.
I shuddered discreetly while Kendra went ahead and asked me a question.
"What's your name?" Her breath blew in my face as she said it. It was sweet –like strawberries.
"I'm Avery," I mumbled.
Her smile remained; she seemed excited for some reason, though maybe this was just how she always was. From what Marcy just said, it did seem like it.
At this point, Marcy seemed more than a little bit irritated that I was letting Kendra get in my personal space, and she moved forward, putting a manly hand gently on my chest to push me away slightly, creating a normal talking distance between me and Kendra.
Kendra crossed her arms, and lost the smile, adopting a pout. Her rosy lips pushed out and she frowned. I chuckled, and she looked up, regarding me with surprise.
Marcy looked at us with as wide of eyes as she could muster as well.
"Well Mr. Carter…"
I exhaled exasperatedly.
"Please call me Avery, Marcy."
Her face didn't lose the perplexed look as she went on, "Well Avery, you must be hungry. You haven't eaten in awhile, and our food here is excellent. Go sit with the others and get to know them."
Kendra brightened noticeably at that thought.
"Oh yah! Ave, you have to come in and meet some of my friends," She grabbed my hand, obviously not noticing or caring that my hand was like ice. Her soft hand shot a stream of warmth up my hand and through my arm, relaxing me…
"I'm not sure–"
"Come!" With that she pulled me through the doors and Marcy walked away with a grimace on her face.
Just before she got too far away though, I heard her mutter under her breath "Might as well get to know them. You're going to be here for awhile,"
For a moment I felt trapped, and like I wanted to turn around and knock her out, but Kendra pulled me over to a long grey table with a handful people in the same white clothes we all adorned.
There was only one person sitting at another table, by himself across the room.
She sat down, still just as close to me as she was before, our legs pressed together and little space between our arms as everyone's heads turned in our direction.
"Hey guys! Meet Avery –he's new here,''
A boy with hazel eyes, pale skin and short dark hair rolled his eyes.
"Yah I think we've all established that,"
She dismissed his snide retort with a wave of her hand, not affecting her mood in the slightest as she leaned in to whisper in my ear, "That's Bryan. He's very cynical and serious –he also hates being outside and doesn't like people that much as well."
I nodded, storing this for future reference in my head. I took this information from her as a warning, though her tone was care free and giggly. I might just have to use this information when a bad time came.
A girl next to him waved limply at me, her expression blank. She looked unbelievably dull, and it was not only her expression and the way she slouched slightly over the table, her head angled down. She looked unhealthy; her skin was ashen, and her hair was a very faded colour of brown.
Kendra leaned in to whisper again, "That's Emily. She's manic-depressive." I nodded –I had to watch what I said and did around her because she could possibly be depressed one moment and then happy-go-lucky the next moment.
Kendra looked as if she was in deep thought for a moment, and after a pause she finally spoke.
"Let's go get you some food!" She stated, attempting to get up and pull me up as well. I bit my lip and she regarded me curiously.
"Get up silly. Marcy the manly monster said you haven't eaten in awhile."
I shook my head and laughed slightly, looking up at her as she held my hand, extending my arm up.
"I'm not hungry though,"
She frowned.
"How could you not be…? Oh –maybe you're still just adjusting to everything like I had to in the beginning. I didn't eat for weeks after my parents sent me here; but I don't advise that for you. It only made the doctor see my condition as worse, and everyone here wants to get out as soon as possible, right?" She stated everything very quickly, rambling on slightly.
Some people nodded as they overheard. Others just continued in picking apart food on trays they stared at with a vacant expression. I sighed, closing my eyes.
"Let's get up, Avery; come on. They notice if you're not eating eventually, and it won't help your analysis any,"
I exhaled, slightly frustrated as I let her pull me up. She was surprisingly strong for how thin she looked.
I was not particularly happy about forcing anything down, but I guess if Kendra was telling me the truth, I needed to.
On our way over to the counters, and the people with white hair nets and uniforms on who served us food out of warming trays, Kendra named off the rest of the people sitting at the table. I retained everything she said, storing it in a mental vault in my head. If indeed I was going to be here for awhile, it was not the best idea to not know who anyone was –to be surrounded by unfamiliarity and strangers.
Once we were there, she brought the one hand that wasn't holding mine up to her face, her index finger touching just under her bottom lip thoughtfully.
"Get some salad and a cheeseburger. That is the best thing today," She murmured.
I smiled slightly, not understanding how I could in the place I was in, and asked one of the ladies behind the counter for the food Kendra had suggested.
Once I had been handed it on a tray, she led me back to the table, slightly farther away from the others than before, and sat us down.
I picked up my spork with a sigh as she gave me a look, and scooped up a piece of lettuce and tomato, slowly putting it in my mouth. I grimaced at it –nothing tasted anymore, and when I could taste, it was vile.
Kendra laughed, her eyes glistening as she watched me close beside me again.
"Not a fan of vegetables?" She giggled.
I shook my head, laughing lightly with her. But I stealthily changed the subject.
"Hey, I haven't seen you eat!" I complained. She rolled her eyes, smiling.
"I ate just before I met you in the hall,"
I sighed again, picking up the cheeseburger and taking a small bite out of it.
"So what are you doing after this?"
I considered as I flipped some lettuce around in the plastic container.
"Uh, I think I might go to the group session,"
Her expression brightened noticeably.
"Oh don't think you might come –do come! I'm in group session next as well."
I frowned.
"Aren't we all?"
She shook her head, her expression not slackening any.
"No, only a few people have a group session at a time. Others have different activities –otherwise there would be too many people for the doctor to handle in one room."
I nodded as Marcy walked through the doors quickly.
"Okay ladies, gentlemen, lunch is over. Please enjoy your free time or move to your next scheduled activity."
I gladly took the opportunity to get up, leaving Kendra momentarily to throw my food out. She looked at me with a blank expression and innocent eyes when I returned.
I cocked my head to the side, confused at why she was suddenly blank.
"What is it?"
She looked down briefly, and then looked back up to me with a slight smile.
"Nothing…"
And though I barely knew her, I knew something was wrong. I frowned slightly and held out a hand to her.
She took it with a bigger smile, looking away to the floor, and stood up. After another pause, she mumbled, "Well, are you going to the group session? Or am I going to have to drag you."
I laughed and she stood close beside me as we walked out, being the last people to exit.
We walked down the hall, and into another. The space between us was not much, and I could feel the heat radiating off of her. I knew this was abnormal for anyone unless you were really cold, which I wasn't. It was a perfect temperature in here for me, or anywhere since I was never really cold… unless I had one of my attacks.
She suddenly shivered, distracting me.
"Don't you find it cold in here?" She exclaimed as I looked at her. I shook my head, and her eyes widened in surprise.
Then her hand shot out towards mine, and she grabbed it, causing me to jump slightly in surprise. She only giggled, and then looked at me seriously.
"You're even colder than the air itself in here! How can you say that you're not cold," She asked in wonder, looking up at me with big blue eyes.
I only smiled slightly, and in response she smiled wider.
We arrived at the session room al too quickly, and as we walked through the door I had a nervous feeling. Like a rock in the pit of my stomach –and this was too common for me. This was only amplified as I saw two more stout nurses standing against the white sun drenched walls.
Suddenly a large man, with what looked like sort of a rectangular head, and dark brown but greyish hair, caught my attention sitting in a comfortable looking chair at the far end of a circle of mostly empty chairs.
He noticed our entrance, obviously, because he looked up from his clipboard and gave us a broad, white teethed smile.
"Well hello Mr. Carter, Kendra…" He got up from his chair and walked across the white tiled floor towards us, his arm extended as he reached me.
I shook his large hand as he continued to smile at me. In my peripheral vision I saw Kendra cast me a big, but shy smile as well.
"Please call me Avery, doctor…?"
"Call me Dr. Mackenzie,"
There was an awkward pause as he let go of my hand and watched me and Kendra with a weird look on his face. Kendra looked to the floor, looking peevish but I could take the pressure as I continued to look the doctor in the face. Kendra began to shift foot from foot, her hands clasped together loosely behind her back.
"Well… I trust you've been settled in. And it appears you've met our little Kendra."
Kendra blushed, her cheeks turning a rosy red. This caught my attention, and I was surprised how hard it was to look away from her face. I didn't know what it was… but I couldn't look away, so I tried to make it seem less apparent that I was looking at her. I only glanced from the corner of my eyes.
I nodded and the doctor smiled again.
"I'm glad to see you two are becoming friends so quickly. Well, anyway, come sit down. The session is going to begin soon. Oh, and Kendra –I expect you to help Avery if he needs it, since you've been here awhile."
Kendra looked up at the doctor before looking to me, the shy, smiling look still on her face and the colour fading out of her cheeks gradually.
I smiled faintly at her and she smiled, getting back to normal quick enough as she lightly took my hand and led me over to two chairs at the opposite end of the doctor's chair.
She sat us down and soon enough four more people filed into the room and sat down on the other chairs. No one had a smile on their faces, like Kendra always seemed to.
Dr. Mackenzie didn't waste any time getting into the session as he crossed his legs and looked at the notes he had scrawled on his clipboard.
"Hello, hello again everyone. As you may have noticed, we have a newcomer today –please, can everyone welcome Avery Carter."
"Hello Avery," Almost everyone muttered in a monotone.
I rolled my eyes –this was almost like a welcome I would get from students if I moved to a different high school.
The majority of the group I already knew –Emily, Bryan and Jasmine. The only person I did not meet before was a guy with very shaggy dirty blonde hair and a thin face. He sat almost lying out on his seat, his head down.
"Why don't we start with an exercise from the beginning of this year –let's say something about ourselves so we're all up to date. Kendra, why don't you start?"
There was a series of groans from a couple people around the room. I frowned –why would they groan that it was Kendra's turn?
Kendra looked to the ceiling, her finger pressed under her chin in thought.
"Well, I love nachos. They're my favourite food –Oh no, I also like guacamole!"
She giggled, and I looked to her with a smile and chuckled.
"Also, boys, I really like taking nice long walks on the beach… No, no, no, I'm just kidding."
Everyone rolled their eyes and I continued to be amused. She was a comedian. Everything she was saying was in a purely sarcastic tone –something the doctor obviously didn't like because he frowned and tapped his pen on the clipboard impatiently.
"But really I just like to hang around with friends, dance, read…"
The doctor nodded approvingly, smiling.
"Okay, that's good Kendra. Now what about you, Avery?"
My expression fell slightly as everyone's eyes settled on me. There was a slight pause as I froze up.
"Avery? Don't you have anything to share about yourself?" The doctor asked clinically after a moment.
I still would not speak.
"Ave… come on I'll help you. What's your favourite colour?" She asked her question louder so everyone could hear.
I looked away from the barred window that my eyes had been frozen on, and looked into her bright, wide innocent eyes. She regarded me with concern, but still with a smile.
I thought for a moment. I'd never thought, or had been asked, what my favourite colour was.
"Blue…" was all I could say as I looked into her eyes.
She smiled.
"That's a start. Where are you from?"
"Port Alberni,"
She smiled wider.
"There you go! Do you have anything else to say?"
I bit my lip and shook my head.
The doctor nodded his head slowly, watching me calculatingly.
"It's your first time, so no pressure Avery. Very good progress anyway. All right –what about you now, Robin?"
Apparently Robin was the guy who sat on the other side of me –the guy with the shaggy blonde hair.
But as he began to mumble, I spaced out, staring up at the ceiling.
I sort of began to wonder about things that I hadn't, but should have before.
How was I going to get the rest of my education if I was locked up in here? How would this affect the rest of my life? And could I even phone my mother?
"… and basically I hate the world, went 'nuts' and 'attacked' people. But you know what –I really don't care what you think. I shouldn't be here. That's all I have to say."
I started to pay attention at the end of his rant.
The doctor nodded once more, wrote a few things down, and then motioned for Emily to go.
Emily shifted, throwing her hair back behind her hunched shoulders.
"Ummm… I'm Emily Messenger. I'm eighteen, and I know I'm hated by most people just because… well I really don't know why."
By the end of the sentence she was almost sobbing. My eyes sort of widened, but I tried not to let anyone notice.
"I blame myself. I'm an awful person and no one likes me because of it–"
She broke off suddenly, straightening up. Her eyes widened so I now knew that her eyes were a light grey, and she lost some of the dullness that she had once been totally consumed by. A smile appeared on her pale pink lips.
"Actually, I don't think people should hate me at all. It's their own problem if they do, because I don't care. If they do, they're stupid, moronic, uneducated pieces of–"
"Okay Emily, okay… that's quite enough."
She smiled wider, but all of a sudden her eyes drooped and she slouched back down, looking as if she were going to cry again.
I shuddered. What kind of place was I in?
I had already known that Emily had a bipolar condition, but nonetheless I was still shocked at her sudden, dramatic changes of mood. And if she, and other people here were that bad… was I that bad as well? Could I be classified, grouped together with these particularly insane people?
But as I glanced back at Kendra I had somewhat of a hope.
I didn't even understand why she was here. Apart from the proximity she chose to be around everyone, I saw nothing wrong with her. To me she was a perfectly normal, spunky teenaged girl. So it obviously confused me as to why she was here… I guess grouped with us nutcases.
I smirked in dark humour. Oh great –I had just been complaining in my head that I was grouped with a bunch of lunatics, but once I compared Kendra to everyone else, I grouped myself with the nut jobs. That was just perfect…
On another thought I made a mental note to ask Kendra why she was here. It confused me to no end.
The doctor continued to talk to us, and other people talked with him as well, but I spaced out once more, thinking about everything.
One of the main things was though, what if I had another attack? And I hurt someone again? What would they do to me, and … was I really a vampire? Could I possibly but illogically be an immortal?
It was preposterous, and I was immediately revolted by the thought but… how else could I explain things?
I was so confused about everything. Nothing really made any sense.
First it was just attacks -'heart attacks' I meant. And then I guess it turned into something else, though I didn't remember any of it, or I didn't know why.
Or maybe I really was going insane, and I had imagined all my mother had said to me, and attacked the officer and Monica because I just had a mental condition. I didn't know anything, but I needed to find out. I hated questioning my sanity constantly just because some doctor, or court, labelled me as insane.
"All right guys and gals. This ends our group session for today, and I'm glad to see we've made some progress. Please hastily attend your next scheduled activity and have a good afternoon."
Kendra took my hand automatically as she stood up, pulling me up after her. A smile pulled at the corners of my lips, and Kendra beamed back before she poked her head to the side of me so she could see the doctor.
"Bye Dr. Mackenzie! I'll see you in an hour or so," She crowed excitedly.
I heard the doctor laugh heartily.
"Yuppers, I'll see you soon Kendra dear. Same with you Mr. Avery –right after Kendra's session with me, you're up."
I half grimaced, my back still turned to him. Kendra turned and began walking with me soon after that.
"So Mr. Avery what are you doing next?"
I raised my eyebrow at her as she called me 'Mr. Avery' –obviously making fun of the doctor– before I answered her.
"I guess I have a period now where I get to do whatever I want. Well, basically anything I want…"
I mumbled that part so she couldn't hear, but she grinned anyway.
"I have a free period as well –well I think everyone in our group session has a free period right now, but I was just checking to make sure that you didn't have to do something else,"
She said the latter part of her sentence bashfully. And I could do nothing but smile: something I thought I really would never do, but had been doing ever since I met Kendra, in a mental institution.
"So what is there exactly to do here? I know there're areas where we can do things… but do you actually ever do those things?"
She shrugged her shoulders, looking up towards the ceiling.
"You know, I really never thought about it. I just do whatever I feel like doing I guess. But if you don't want to do any of that stuff, do you want to just sit and talk? It's about as much as you can do besides anything else they provide you with."
I nodded my head, slightly sideways. She turned us around, leading me behind her with her hand.
I raised a brow once more.
"Where are we going?"
"We're going to my room you silly head! Where else are we going to talk and not be spied on? There are nurses and patients everywhere but our rooms, if you haven't noticed,"
I guessed she was right… but were we allowed in other patients' rooms?
It seemed like she heard my thoughts, because she immediately answered my question.
"And no, we're not usually allowed to have visitors, even if they're just other patients, in our rooms. But who's going to stop us?" She remarked with an almost devilish smile.
Wow –a rule breaker now.
We arrived at another door, not much unlike my own, and she opened it quickly and hustled us in, closing the door just as hastily.
Then she let out a big sigh and let a relaxed smile spread across her face.
"Ah, home again, home again…" She murmured, and let go of my hand to walk over and lie down on the bed.
I stood there for a moment, biting my lip, not really knowing how to proceed. So I just began to talk.
"How could you say 'home again, home again," in a place like this? Or was your old house like a mental health facility?"
She laughed bubbly and shook her head, patting the blanket beside her –an invitation for me to sit down beside her.
I moved hesitantly towards the bed and when I got there I guess she was just too impatient –she pulled me down beside her by the hand.
"No, not at all. I used to have a very nice, cozy log cabin home out in the middle of no where. True, I didn't like being out in the middle of the forest all the time, but rather I wanted to be with friends… Though, I still loved it. My parents loved it there too…"
She trailed off suddenly, her eyelids drooping slightly as if she was about to fall asleep.
But her head bounced back up and she smile once more instead of dreamily looking off into space.
"Well anyway, I like making the best of situations if you can see Avery. Do you think I really enjoy being here that much? If I had the choice, like many of us wish we had, I would be back at my log cabin with my mom and dad."
My eyes narrowed slightly.
"And that brings us to why you're here exactly. To tell the truth, I don't really see anything wrong with you."
She smiled and blushed, causing my eyes to lock on her once more.
"Thank you for that… but I know why I'm here, and I don't know if I'm ready to tell you right yet."
She tapped me on the nose lightly with her index finger, and I nodded, understanding.
"I think I do, and don't know why I'm here. I'm all very confused about things."
She puckered her lips and frowned slightly.
"Would you care to elaborate on that?"
I thought for a moment, my eyes aimed at the white ceiling.
"Well… Are you ready for whatever you hear? Because if you scare easy, I don't think I'm quite ready to tell you either."
She raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"Bring it."
I chuckled lightly before sobering up just as quickly.
"Well I have these… attacks. Heart attacks really, and it's where my heart stops for five seconds to a minute, and I wake up perfectly normal after. It scares everyone, and I don't even mean for it to happen."
She nodded, looking like she was deeply interested and not freaked out in the least… yet.
"And the last time I had one of these attacks I… I actually physically got up, my heart still not beating, and hurt someone I cared about. I don't know how and why but it happened and… well I can't do anything to stop it. I've been questioning my sanity on really what happened the whole time I've been here, and I have been thinking, hey maybe I have schizophrenia and hallucinated the whole thing and that's why I'm here now."
She nodded, and I was surprised to see that she didn't have the least bit of fear on her face.
"I understand. I know when we're here we all question our sanity… and I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. It must be tough. I don't know how you haven't broken down yet."
I grimaced and nodded.
And suddenly, before I knew it, she had her arms wrapped around me, her face pressed against my arm as I sat, momentarily frozen and horrified.
Her warmth coursed through me, and I felt so weird all of a sudden –almost feral.
Seconds later I broke away from her, moving to the end of the bed. She regarded me with confused, sad eyes.
"What is it?" She murmured, her voice sounding almost heartbroken.
I scrunched my eyes closed and wrapped an arm around myself, my head lowered. I could still feel the warmth from her face being pressed against my arm.
"I'm sorry… I just don't really trust myself anymore. After that last attack, well… it could happen at any time, and I don't know specifically when. I don't want to hurt you."
I could not believe I had just admitted that to her. I didn't even really want to admit it to myself… and I'd definitely known myself longer than I knew her. I'd only known her for maybe a few hours now and I'd just told her some major things. But oddly, I felt as if I could trust her.
Her expression alleviated slightly.
"Oh –it's all right. I just say, hey what else bad can happen to me? Bring it on world, because I don't really care what happens further. After all, I think the worst thing I could have ever done was end up here. There's only a slight possibility of me getting out, and what do I have after that? My parents, if I'm lucky."
I looked down, and scooted slightly over where I put my arm around her shoulders lightly.
She pressed her face into my collar bone and I sighed as I felt the warmth from her. Vaguely in the back of my mind, I knew this couldn't possibly be comfortable for her. I was ice cold and I was surprised that she never flinched away.
I was just like her though. I would be lucky if I got out of here, and I didn't know what my parents would say anymore. I guess I would just try to take it like Kendra –go with the flow, and keep your mouth shut about it.
x
"All right now Avery. Why don't you take a seat and we can talk about a few things."
I nodded, my eyes shaded as I took a seat and slumped in the chair, looking in the direction of the deep red carpet of the floor of Dr. Mackenzie's office.
I heard him shuffle some papers on his desk, but I didn't look up to see what he was doing. I was rather depressed now.
"Now, Avery, Avery… would you like me to address any concerns of yours? Do you have any problems you need to talk with me about?"
One side of my mouth pulled up as I thought. I could tell how hollow and depressed I looked even without a mirror.
"Well now that you mention it I do have a few questions for you doctor."
He stopped shuffling papers so he could hear me –I spoke in a low monotone.
"Go on," He encouraged after I stopped speaking.
I sighed. I hated being talked to like I was slow.
"Is it possible that I can see my mother any time soon? Or talk with her on the phone at all?"
He tutted, and I glanced up without moving anything but my eyes.
He looked like he was thinking for a moment before he answered.
"Well Avery… you are a different case indeed. But the way we work here is that with good behaviour and improvement the more you earn. So in this situation, I can let you talk on the phone with your mom in a few days with good behaviour, and within a couple weeks you can have visits with her."
I nodded, looking away once again. This was almost like a prison rather than a institution.
"But in order to get better, Avery, I need to know why you think you're here. Can you tell me in your own words why you think you're here?"
I didn't even have to hesitate to answer.
"I don't know."
He tutted again.
"Now Avery, you must have some idea why you're here. No one just dumped you here for any reason."
I sighed discreetly once more.
"Well I don't remember what happened exactly. I do remember being told what I had done though, and I couldn't really believe it. I woke up thinking, oh it's just one of my attacks again, and then someone told me what happened… and I don't know anymore. It doesn't make sense."
He nodded shortly.
"And you say you remember nothing at all?"
I grimaced again, not particularly happy about someone prying into things, and not particularly happy about having to say something I already said over again.
"Yes, I already mentioned I don't remember any of it. I feel perfectly sane, but I'm being treated like I'm insane and it's really starting to affect me. Ever since my eighteenth birthday, people have been acting like I'm strange."
He nodded again, all his attention focused on me.
"Your eighteenth birthday you say?"
I heaved a gruff sigh.
"Yah."
"And that was when the attacks started?"
"Yah."
He nodded once more.
"And why do you think these attacks started to happen? Did the doctor say –do you have a condition?"
"The doctors were baffled that I have been able to survive this long. They think it's possible that I could drop dead any moment, but I feel as lively as ever. It just happens out of the blue sometimes, and I come back to life like a reanimated corpse. I'm perfectly fine after my heart has stopped for a minute or so."
The doctor looked bewildered as I told him all this.
"So it's most likely that in your time here, this could happen?"
I nodded.
"Most likely."
He wrote something down on a pad of paper, and I raised an eyebrow, the rest of my expression remaining stoic.
"So what doctor? Am I insane –do I have schizophrenia and you're just leading me on to believe that everything that I believe happened has happened? Because everything, for me right now, is impossibly insane. And I want to know if I'm crazy and should keep questioning my sanity."
He laughed darkly.
"No, I assure you I've been told everything that has happened Avery. You don't have to question your sanity there –but I'm not sure about the rest. And no, at the moment I don't think you have schizophrenia, but I'm not ruling it out in the end. We'll have to figure out what's happening in there when you have these attacks. Do you expect one soon?"
I shook my head and he stood up, walking over to the other side of his desk where I sat in a comfy green seat.
I got up as well and shook his hand. He patted me on the back.
"I'll be seeing you at our next group session tomorrow."
I breathed out slowly and nodded before I turned around and exited his office.
Wow –what a day.
