Chapter 2- The Great British Beard Off

Sup. AAAAAH, there's two chapter ones! soz yikes. Yup, its chapter two! This chapter is set a couple of months after chapter 1.I'm PixiePeahenPOW who is still PixiePeacockPOW. Annnnnnnnnnnddddddddd... uuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,, nothing else. I don't own Artemis fowl or the characters.

Opal read through the list of people, elves, dwarfs,pixies etc. who were also in the Beard Off (The Beard Off is judged by Paul Hollywood), and she had to beat them and WIN!

G.B.B.O.- JUDGE:PAUL HOLLYWOOD (who can do everything, by the way)

COMPETITORS:

Opal K. (at the top of the list, of course)

Mulch D.

Artemis F. the second

Madam Ko

Domovoi B.

Holly S.

Trouble K.

Julius R.

Juliet B.

Nord

Opal decided that Mulch might come second ( after herself). But not even MULCH could beat her in the beard off.

The Beard Off was on tomorrow! Opal went to sleep on her Koboi Hoverbed. She was totally gonna win, fo shizzle. Nightio.

Opal woke up and went downstairs. She was staying in a 5 star hotel near the Beard Off tent with Merv and Scant in the room next door. Opal had Cheerios with no milk for her breakfast, then went to find the twins.

Merv was in his room, on his iPhone.

"MERV! WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU STUPID WOODEN RAINBOW UNSPARKLY NOTEBOOK! AND WHY AREN'T YOU ON YOU KOBOI PHONE THAT I GAVE YOU!."

Merv looked up from his phone."Um, I'm playing Minecraft. It's awesome."

"Not as awesome as me, of course," said Opal.

"No 'course not," replied Merv, but he was thinking, it's way awesomer than you. He knew better than to say that. Actually, he didn't, but he had no time to say it because Opal started screaming at Scant to close the window (which was not even open in the first place).


(Sorry i just love these horizontal lines!)


Ok,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Opal had called a taxi to take her to the tent. With her beard ready, she said bye to Merv and Scant and went into the car.


The taxi stopped at the tent gazebo thingy. Opal was ready for the Beard Off. Stroking her beard, she visualized the scene when she, Opal Koboi , will be the Beard Queen. Oh yeah. She put on her shades and her cap on backwards. Opal was READY for the competition. Oh yeah.

She entered the tent and immediately knew who'll win. Herself. Duh.

Everyone else was already there. They knew who'll win too. Themselves. Duh. And if she didn't win, she'd explode the tent (and Paul) or something like that.


What do everyone's beards look like? I don't even know yet. I haven't written it .

"LIST OF PEOPLE (with or without a caps lock "p") AND THEIR BEARDS, IN NO CERTAIN ORDER," Paul Hollywood The Judge bellowed. To show how important he was.

"ARTEMIS: PINK BRAIDED BEARD. GOOD."

Opal looked over at Artemis who was grinning and probably thinking "I'm totes gonna win" but he'd never say that because totes and gonna aren't words. Opal rolled her eyes.

''MULCH: WHAT! YOU JUST HAVE YOUR NORMAL BEARD!,'' said Paul, outraged, as if he couldn't believe that someone would turn up to HIS competition with an average, everyday beard! That's to ridiculous to imagine.

''But, you see, my beard has unusual-" Mulch started to say.

"NO. I DON'T SEE. I DON'T CARE. YOUR BEARD IS TO NORMAL!YOU ARE DISQUALIFIED!"

So Mulch just digged away.

" RIGHT. EIGHT LEFT. DOMO- I MEAN BUTLER: KNEE LENGTH AND . DOESN'T SUIT YOU.

TRUB-''

''Trouble,actually,'' corrected Trub- I mean Trouble.

''WHO CARES. TRUB: PURPLE FISHTAIL IN A SPIRAL. NICE WORK.

HOLLY: AUBURN CURLED AND TRAILING ON THE FLOOR. TOO LONG.

JULIET: BLONDE, SHOULDER LENGTH WITH NEON BLUE HIGHLIGHTS. QUITE GREAT, BUT CHEESY.''

''Cheesy?'' Jutiet said.

"YES, CHEESY. JULIUS: WHITE AND GREY , SPIKY AND STICKING OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE. MESSY, BUT GOOD ON YOU.

NORD-''

''NORD?'' Opal screeched. Nord. he had stuffed her in a diver's tank for no reason at all. And he thinks he can compete against her? Opal did not even bother saying anything to him and just stuffed dynamite in his beard and threw him angrily into a nearby volcano.

'' TWO LEFT,'' began Paul.'' OPAL : RAINBOW AWESOME BEARD WITH A BUILT- IN RADIATOR AND ICE CREAM MAKER.''

Opal had expected Paul to be awesome-ified, but he moved on to Madame Ko, who everyone thought had the boringest beard. ''MADAME KO: PAUL STYLE BEARD.''

Paul took a couple of minutes to decide on a winner and the eight dwarf-less remaining competitors stood silently.

''THE WINNER IS...'' and after another couple of minutes of drum rolls, announced the Great British Beard Off King/Queen.

''MADAME KO!"

Everyone just checked their ears, to see is they heard properly. Madame Ko just had a plain grey beard... like Paul. Aha ! ao thats why he chose her! When opal figured this out, she started shouting at the author for not giving her name a capital O. Oops, sorry Opal...

Then Opal just walked off and wondered why she even entered the Beard Off. Maybe she had Atlantis Complex or something.

I only have one review, so pleeeeeeaaaaaasssssseeeeeee review!