Chapter Three

"So Logan, how do you like London so far?" Randolph Jameson, one of his father's associates from the New York Times had cornered him on his way back to Rory and Elias had joined them almost immediately.

"Logan loves it out there," Elias said, clapping a hand on his shoulder. "And we're all very proud of the job he's doing and he's only been there a month. We couldn't have picked a better place for Logan to get his bearings at."

"Ah. But that'll be changing now, won't it?" Randolph asked. "I mean, what with the circumstances, will you be staying in London or relocating elsewhere?"

Before Logan could answer, Elias jumped in again. "At the moment, Logan's future is a bit up in the air, but rest assured Randolph, he'll be transferred to where his talents will suit the family best."

"What does that mean?" Logan asked, turning to face the older man as Randolph walked away.

"What are you talking about?"

"We'll discuss this later, Logan," Elias said, his eyes wandering over his grandson's shoulder as he spotted another associate.

"No, let's discuss this now. What do you mean, I'll be transferred? Grandfather, if I'm not staying in London, I'm coming back to the East Coast." His eyes snapped angrily and for a flash of a moment, Elias saw Mitchum standing before him.

"Logan, we'll discuss this on Friday, after the funeral. Everything rests on what is in Mitchum's will. We'll go from there, all right?" He took a drink from his glass before slapping Logan's arm again and moving into another conversation.

"Hey." Rory came up behind him. "What did Elias just say to you? You look like you're ready to lose it."

Logan shook his head and attempted a smile. "Nothing, it's just a long day, Rory." He handed her the drink he was holding and studied her face. "How are you?"

Rory caught herself mid-shrug and forced a smile onto her face. Logan was the one burying his father in the next few days, her own problems could wait. "I'm fine," she assured him quickly, resting a hand on his arm. She nodded towards a corner of the room. "I spy Colin and Finn over there, why don't we go say hi?" she suggested.

Logan's eyebrow quirked at her as she led him over there. "Are you suggesting a sub-party, Ace?"

"Oh no," she said quickly. "I don't think I've forgiven the two of them yet for the little get-together in your room yesterday."

"We were just trying to help," Colin promised as they became within earshot.

"We were just trying to get Logan hammered," Finn promised with a solemn face. His mouth twitched at the corners and he shook his head. "Forgive us, Rory, please. If you take away our best playmate, we won't know what else to do."

She rolled her eyes. "Just don't show up drunk to the funeral, okay?" Out of the corner of her eye she watched as Lorelai set her drink down quickly and bolted from the den. "I'll be right back," she said to Logan before following her mother.

Once out in the hallway she spun around in a circle, wondering which way Lorelai had gone. She decided on one direction and was about to advance when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

It was Emily. "Let me go after her." It was more of a demand than a question and since Rory was unsure of what to say to her mother, she just nodded and pointed in the direction she thought Lorelai had gone.

Meanwhile, Lorelai was hiding in a horrifically decorated guest bathroom fighting the waves of nausea that were wreaking havoc on her body. So much for morning sickness, this baby clearly didn't care what time of day it was.

There was a soft knock on the door and she looked up at her mother's voice. "Lorelai, it's me. Are you in there?"

She flipped the lock on the door and let Emily in. "What are you doing here, Mom?" she asked.

"Well I came to check on you," she said, as if it were clear as day. "You rushed out of there so quickly and your face is pale. Lorelai, what's the matter? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, Mom." Lorelai said reassuringly. "I was sick a few days ago and I still haven't recovered," she lied quickly.

"Oh." A shadow crossed over Emily's face. "I wish you would have told me. I hate not knowing whatever it is that's going on in your life."

"I'm sorry Mom." She apologized tritely, not having the strength or the energy to do anything else.

"And what is going on with you and Christopher? You've barely said four words to him all evening and he looks like someone kicked his puppy."

Lorelai sighed. "Mom, it's nothing. Christopher and I had an argument, that's all, we'll be fine."

"I see." Emily's expression was doubtful but she dropped the subject and moved on. "I've been meaning to ask you, have you spoken with Luke since.. Well, you know…"

Lorelai closed her eyes. Only Emily would badger her with questions in a guest bathroom during a wake. "No Mom, I haven't, but I've been really busy lately."

"Oh Lorelai, I just want you to be happy, that's all." Emily's tone was exasperated as she threw her hands up in the air. "I've seen you with Luke, and God knows why, but you were happy with him. Happier than I've ever seen you, and is it so wrong for me to want that for you still?"

She stared at her for a moment before shaking her head. "No, that's not so bad, Mom," she said kindly. "But I don't think Luke and I are going to end up back together so you probably shouldn't put any eggs in that basket, okay?" She tried to smile but another wave of sickness washed over her and before she could stop herself she was hunched over a ridiculously ornate gold toilet.

As she watched her daughter, Emily's face slowly fell as realization swept over her. "Oh my God, Lorelai. You're preg—"

"Mom, please." Lorelai's voice was weak as she rocked back onto her ankles and held her head in her hands.

"You are, aren't you?" Emily's voice was softer now, and she awkwardly placed a hand on her shoulder.

It was on the tip of her tongue to lie, but when she looked up at her mother she was surprised at what she saw. There was no Emily Gilmore Face of Disapproval and Disappointment, there was only concern. She was so surprised by this drive-by act of mother-daughter civility that she found herself nodding in the affirmative.

"I just found out," she said, by way of excusing herself for not saying anything sooner.

"I don't understand, how far along are you?" Emily handed her a glass of water. "Have you been to a doctor?"

Lorelai shook her head. "A month, maybe a little more," she estimated. "I haven't seen a doctor yet, but I have an appointment for next week."

"Please tell me it's in Hartford, I just don't know that I would trust any doctor from Stars Hollow. God knows they probably operate out of a garage or something."

"It is in Hartford," she confirmed. She took a sip of the water before standing up again.

"Well Lorelai, this is just ridiculous! If you're pregnant, you and Luke have every reason to get back together. He should want to be a part of his child's life, and you should want to raise this child together."

"Luke doesn't know, Mom." Lorelai sighed. "Nobody knows, not even Rory,"

"Oh." For a moment, Emily looked surprised. A small smile graced her features before the seriousness of the conversation took over again. "So I'm the only one that knows?" It was the first time she could ever think of that she had been privy to any information about her daughter's life before anyone else, and she was forced to admit that it was a pleasant feeling, despite the news at hand.

"Please don't say anything, Mom. Not yet, it's too soon, I need to figure out some things first."

"Of course," Emily said, placing her hand back on Lorelai's shoulder. She was so stunned still at being Lorelai's confidant that she was quite certain she would have agreed to anything in the moment. "Are you okay to go back out there?" she asked.

"I am," Lorelai said. "And Mom? Thank you." Her tone was genuine and warm, and Emily was surprised to feel the sting of tears prick behind her eyelids.

"We'll tell Rory you ate some disgusting sort of carnival food before we came here, that's the reason you're not feeling well," she said brusquely. "And I'll hurry your father along and we'll leave shortly."

She opened the door and waited for Lorelai to walk past her back out into the hallway. Lorelai could only nod and follow her mother back out to the gathering.

"Hey Kiddo." Rory jumped at her father's greeting and turned around slowly, forcing a smile onto her face, not for the first time that night. She looked around for Logan, and saw him in a corner talking with Shira and Honor.

"Hey Dad," she said, finally looking at him. "How are you?"

"Never mind about me, how are you?" He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Every time I've tried to get to you tonight you've disappeared on me. Is everything okay?"

"'I'm fine," she said quickly, shrugging out of his embrace. "I've just been busy keeping an eye on Logan, that's all."

"Losing a parent is hard, I know that better than anyone, but Logan's a tough guy. He'll get through this Ror. He'll be okay." He smiled again at her again and she managed a smile back. "Have you seen your mom? She disappeared a little while ago and I haven't seen her since."

"I saw her and Grandma talking. I'm sure they're around somewhere." Sure enough, no sooner than the words were out of her mouth were Lorelai and Emily walking towards them. Rory couldn't have been happier.

"Are you alright?" She asked her mother in a low tone. Lorelai's face was pale and she seemed a little shaky on her feet.

Lorelai nodded. "I was over at Sookie's the other day, and both Davey and Martha are sick, I must have caught something from them. I'm sorry Ror, but we're going to have to leave."

"That's okay. Can I do anything? Do you need anything?"

"No." Lorelai smiled and shook her head. "You just take care of Logan, I'll be fine. I just want to crawl into bed and sleep for a few days. I'll be good as new, you'll see."

"Okay." Rory leaned in and hugged the elder woman. "Call me if you need anything." She turned and awkwardly hugged Christopher as well. "Bye Dad. Thanks for coming."

"You guys leaving?" Logan asked, coming over and standing next to Rory. They nodded in the affirmative and Logan shook Christopher's hand. "Thank you for being here, the family really appreciates it." His voice took a robotic tone and Rory had to wonder how many times he had said that exact sentence in the last hour. Once the Gilmores were gone, he turned to Rory. "Honor said she wants to take over the goodbyes and thank yous to everyone tonight, what do you say we get out of here?"

"Sure," she agreed. "Where did you want to go, did you have a place in mind?"

"I do," he said as he walked her into the hallway and slid her coat over her shoulders. "The loft, Rory. Let's go home."

"Home." Rory said weakly. It had been a long time since the two of them had been in that loft together and for the first time ever, she found herself wishing that they could stay at the Huntzberger house. "Sure, let's go home."


Has it really been a month since I've been here?" Logan asked as he and Rory walked into the loft. He dropped his jacket over the back of the couch before collapsing against the cushions himself.

"Oh, it's quiet here," he remarked, closing his eyes. "It's nice." His eyes opened and he looked over at her. "Come here," he said, waving her over to the couch.

Rory hesitated where she was standing. "Actually, if you don't mind, would it be okay if I just jumped into the shower real quick?" she asked. "It's been a really long day and I just want to get out of these clothes."

"Sure," Logan agreed. "I need to get out of mine too. I tell you what, you go shower, and I'll make us some coffee."

"Okay." She smiled slightly before walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind her. For a moment she toyed with the idea of locking the door, but decided against it. She fiddled with the faucets for a moment, testing the hot water before she began to undress. She stared at herself in the mirror, taking a few deep breaths.

She and Logan were not okay. Together and separately, they were each struggling. Up until two days ago she had barely even been talking to him. Now, they truly were just going through the motions, trying to get through Mitchum's funeral, trying to get through her mother's secret, trying to get through their relationship issues, and she was just fine with that. She was.

At least, she was up until an hour ago.

She had heard Logan and Elias' conversation. She hadn't meant to, but it was hard not to, what with Logan raising his voice, and Elias having one of those voices you simply just heard. She had been right to be afraid earlier in the guesthouse, Logan was going back to London eventually, or who knew where else at this point. All that mattered was that there was a slim to zero chance of him staying in Hartford and despite his promise, she would be left to deal with things on her own.

Shakily, she pulled her hair up into a pony-tail and managed to make it into the shower before her tears started to fall. She'd be okay, she promised herself.

After all, dealing with things on her own was what a Gilmore Girl did best


Lorelai was upstairs changing into her pajamas when the heard a knock at the front door. Thinking maybe Emily had come back, she trudged down the stairs and threw open the front door. "Oh."

Luke was standing on the doorstep, a bag from the diner in his hands and a sheepish grin on his face. "I saw the lights on." he explained, looking down at his feet. "And I hadn't seen you in awhile, I wanted to check on you." He held up the bag in his hands. "German chocolate, chocolate chip brownies, just baked a few hours ago."

Lorelai smiled in spite of herself. "Come on in," she said, holding the door open wide. They sat awkwardly on the couch, with what seemed like a thousand miles of space between them. "Logan's dad just died," she said for lack of anything better to say. "I just got back from the wake with my parents." She wisely let Christopher's name off of the list.

"I saw that in the paper," Luke said. "How's Logan taking it?"

She shrugged. "The best he can." She paused. "How's April?" She didn't miss the pride that flashed in Luke's eyes at the girl's name.

"She's good. Doing some sort of summer science project that I'm not smart enough to help her with." Luke lifted his shoulders in a helpless shrug. "What about you?" he asked abruptly.

"Me? I'm probably not smart enough to help her either," Lorelai said dryly. She was caught off guard by his hand on her arm.

"I've been worried," he said sincerely. "I haven't seen you in a few days, no one could tell me how you were—"

"I'm fine," she was quick to reassure him. "I've been feeling a little under the weather, that's all. I didn't want to face Babette and Miss Patty, or Kirk…" she let her voice trail off. She met his eyes with hers. "I was avoiding you," she confessed. They both smiled.

"I miss you Lorelai." She watched as Luke's hand moved from his lap to cover her own. Every fiber of her being was screaming at her to pull away from him, to send him home, to do something other than just sit there staring at him.

"Luke," she whispered, her eyes filling with tears. "I'm not okay," she managed to choke out before the tears fell; before he folded her into his arms and she sobbed into his shoulder.


Rory stepped out of the shower only after she had stopped crying, and methodically began to dry herself off. She cursed softly when she realized she had failed to bring her pajamas in with her and wrapped the towel tightly around her before opening the bathroom door and stepping out into the hallway. Clichéd though it may be, what she saw nearly broke her heart.

Logan was sprawled out on the couch, sound asleep. The coffee hadn't been made and he was still in his day clothes. She inched closer to him and was surprised to see what very well looked like tearstains on his cheeks. Hesitantly, not wanting to wake him up, she reached down and brushed her fingertips over his eyelids. They were still slightly wet and she could have kicked herself for letting her own problems overshadow the fact that he was the one who was grieving the loss of a parent. She tried to ignore the pangs of guilt as she reached forward and smoothed the hair from his forehead. He shifted in his sleep, his eyes blinking open slowly. "Hey," he murmured, not fully waking up. "I wasn't crying."

She smiled down at him, thinking about her own red-rimmed eyes. "Neither was I,' she said softly. "Come on, let's go to bed." She helped him up and they made their way over to the bed, leaning on each other the entire way.

They both slept soundly that night, wrapped tightly around each other and one of the last thoughts to go through Rory's mind before she drifted off to sleep was the pleasant realization that despite the problems they each were facing, they still knew how to take care of each other in a crisis.

Halfway through the night, they found themselves making love, not knowing or caring who initiated it. It was almost as if they had gravitated towards each others want and need to be closer, and they threw each other wholeheartedly into their love.

Rory woke up early the next morning due to the shrill ringing of Logan's cell phone. Logan, who prided himself on being able to sleep through anything did just that, not even moving a muscle as she untangled herself from his arms and grabbed his phone off the dresser. She flipped it open and answered it with what she hoped was a coherent greeting.

"Who is this?"

She winced at the voice. "It's Rory, Elias," she answered.

"Oh. Well, one never knows with my grandson. I need to speak to him."

"I'm sorry, but Logan's still asleep." She glanced at the clock near the bed, it wasn't even six-thirty yet.

"I didn't ask if he was awake. I said I needed to speak with him."

"With all due respect Mr. Huntzberger, I'm not waking him up this early. Logan's still jet-lagged from London, he's barely slept since he's gotten back, and now that he's finally asleep, I'm not going to wake him up." It was a lot easier to hold your ground against this man when he was merely a voice on the other end of the phone. "Now, if there's something I can help you with, I'd be more than happy to, but if not, Logan will see you at breakfast later this morning."

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I'll speak with him then." He hung up before Rory could answer him. Without another thought, she turned the phone off and crawled back into bed.

"Who was that?" She was surprised to see Logan awake and shook her head.

"It was your grandfather, it's nothing that can't wait until later this morning." She turned onto her side and faced him. "How'd you sleep? We still have some time before we need to be up, you can sleep some more."

"I slept okay…" his voice faltered and he coughed to cover it up. "I should call Grandfather back. The funeral is in a few hours, he may need help with some—"

"He's fine," Rory interrupted him. "All of the preparations have been made, it didn't sound like it was an emergency at all. He said he'd talk to you at breakfast."

Logan nodded, closing his eyes for a second again. He sat up in bed again a moment later. "Maybe I should head to the house now. I shouldn't have come back here last night, I should have stayed there." He started to get out of bed but Rory stopped him.

"Hey, Logan, come on." She shook her head, bringing him back down against the pillows. "Everything was taken care of at the house, there wasn't anything you needed to do. You wouldn't have been able to sleep there, we both know you needed your rest, you needed to get away from all of that for awhile." She ran her fingers in circles against his wrist. "You've been great these last few days Logan, you've taken care of everyone; your mom, your sister, even your grandfather. Please, let me take care of you for just a couple hours more, okay?" She smiled as he gave in, and drew the blankets back up around him. "Do you need anything?" He shook his head. "Then let's try and sleep for a bit more okay? It's going to be a long day, you really should sleep while you can." She hadn't even finished her sentence before his exhaustion won out and within minutes, he was snoring lightly again.


Lorelai shifted in her sleep and winced as a sharp pain shot through her neck. After several attempts she finally managed to open her eyes and tried to remember why she was asleep on her couch and not upstairs in her bed. And then, like a bad dream, it all came rushing back to her. Oh God…

Sure enough, she was lying with her head in Luke's lap. He was asleep still, and she frantically tried to figure out the best way to remove herself from this situation without any more awkwardness.

As if there wasn't enough to start with.

"I'm not okay," she whispered. Over and over, the same three words kept spilling from her mouth as she cried into his sleeve. "I'm not okay. I'm not okay."

"Lorelai, what is it? What's wrong?" She couldn't answer him so he finally stopped asking and just sat there, rubbing her back and making soothing sounds every now and then. "You're fine," he said, as her tears started to subside. "It's okay, see? You're okay."

She laughed harshly into his shoulder, her breaths coming in ragged gulps. "I'm not," she repeated. " I screwed up, Luke. I've screwed up so much, and I'm so unbelievably sorry. You'll never know how sorry I am. You'll never know how much I wish I could fix things."

"We all make mistakes Lorelai. I know you're sorry. I know you didn't mean for things to happen the way they did."

"You don't know the half of it," she whispered. "If I could take it all back Luke…" her words died as she pulled away and looked up at him, her eyes bright and watery.

"I know." Their eyes met again. "I know Lorelai."

She kissed him then. It was the only thing her brain wasn't screaming at her to do but it was the only thing she wanted to do. She kissed him fully, desperately, as her hands clutched at his arms, bringing him closer against her. For a few wonderful moments, he kissed her back, just as desperately, before gently taking her by the shoulders and holding her away at arms' length.

The tears started fresh then, and Lorelai wasn't sure if it was the look in Luke's eyes or the hormones to blame. "God, I'm such a mess," she scolded herself. "And here you are, trying to take care of me when you've got better things to do…"

"Hey." Luke gave her hands another squeeze. "I'm exactly where I need to be right now. I'm not going anywhere. If you need to cry, just cry."

So cry she did, until she cried herself to sleep in his arms. They hadn't said another word all night, but it was always like that with them, they didn't need words to comfort each other.

Lorelai closed her eyes again and breathed in deeply. God, she missed the smell of him. She was content to lay there for as long as she could, but someone else had other plans for her. The ever-present waves of nausea washed over her and she bolted up from the couch and slammed her way into the downstairs bathroom.

When she was finished, she rested against the side of the bathtub and placed her hand against her still-flat stomach. "You're just all ready to announce yourself to anyone and everyone, aren't you kid?" she whispered. "Well guess what? Mommy's not, and you're just going to have to wait until she is, you hear me?" She closed her eyes and then opened them again. "I'm sorry Kiddo, it's not your fault, I know that. I just want to keep you a secret for a little while longer okay? That's all I ask. How about I let you in on a little secret though? That guy out there in the baseball hat and flannel? The one we slept on all night? You couldn't ask for a better daddy than that, and I want nothing more than for that to be the case." She patted her stomach again and stood up. "Okay, time for us to go back out there, but I gotta tell ya. This all-day sickness thing we've got going on? It's not working real well for me, how about we change that, okay? Okay." She rinsed her mouth out quickly and opened the bathroom door to see Luke in her kitchen. "Morning."

He looked up at her. "Morning," he replied. "You okay?"

She waved his question off dismissively. "I'm fine. I was over at Sookie's last week, the kids are sick, I shouldn't have given them so many Aunt Lorelai-kisses."

Luke nodded. "I made you some tea. And some toast." He looked at her apologetically. "Caesar has the morning off, I really need to get back to…"

"Please, go," she said quickly. "I mean, I'm okay, really. And I've kept you for much longer than I should have anyways. Go on, the diner needs you. Kirk, needs you." She smiled slightly. "Thanks Luke," she said quietly.

He nodded. As he handed her a mug of tea, his other hand fell to her arm and he squeezed gently.

"You're okay, Lorelai," he repeated from last night. "You're going to be fine. I'll see you around, all right?"

"All right," she replied with a nod of her head. She watched him leave before collapsing into one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Fine" she echoed, her hand pressed firmly against her stomach again.

"We're going to be just fine."