I would just like to take a moment to shout out the two reviewers I had. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I'm making an effort to proof read everything better so there are less mistakes, but I'm glad that didn't stop you guys from enjoying this story. Jill is definitely a bad ass and I'm glad that you love that. There's a lot more I want to say but I don't want to ramble and bore everyone.
So once again, thank you guys for the support and reviews. Thank you for enjoying this story and taking the time to read it. And lets see where things go.
In this chapter, we run into Cass, see a potential love interest develop and see Jill struggle with a memory she wishes to forget. I hope you all enjoy.
Ringo cursed himself when he realized there wasn't an extra mattress for Jill. They would have to share a bed, and if she didn't like that idea then he would just have to sleep on the floor. Even though he had been through enough crap in the last couple of days, she had been through worse. Sure his caravan was raided, his guards killed and he was hunted down but that was nothing compared to Jill's story. She was gunned down, buried and left for dead. She was like a Goddess. She rose from the dead and automatically put the people of Goodsprings above everything else. She was a good person, she didn't deserve what happened to her.
Ringo caught himself lost in his own thoughts as he admired her. She was a little shorter than him. Tanned skin told him that she traveled a lot, or worked on a farm maybe. Her hair hung loose, straight as can be. Its length was about mid back, her bangs feathered into her hair at the cheekbone. Her lips looked soft, luscious even. Her eyebrows were thin and well groomed. Her eyes were beautiful. They were a bright green, complimented by her complexion. Her eyelashes were long, and as she blinked, he felt himself being seduced by them.
"Are you even listening to me?" She yelled.
Ringo was brought back to reality. "I'm sorry. I was just admiring… Er.. Amazed by your combat skills."
"It's alright." Jill paused, looking as if she was trying to think of something to say.
"So what's the game plan for the morning?" He prayed that wasn't what she was saying before. If it was then she was sure to be upset with him.
"So you really weren't paying attention." She laughed. "In the morning we're gonna head to the cemetery. See if those guys left anything behind that might help us in our search. Then I was gonna head over to the school house and see if I can crack that safe. While I'm doing that I was wondering if you could go and buy some supplies for us."
"Sounds like a plan to me, but couldn't you get the supplies after the school house? I'm not exactly sure what you consider a necessity." Ringo was trying to word it right. He didn't know if she needed any feminine hygiene products or what kind of food she liked.
"I don't think I'm any good with bartering. Chet comes off as a man who lets caps run his life. I don't want him to upcharge me for things. You had a caravan so I figure that's your department." Smiling, she continued. "Plus it'll save us some time."
She was right. He was one hell of a trader and Chet did seem like the type to charge extra. He offered her a nod and she quickly changed the subject. Asking him about his caravan, where he grew up, his interests. She wanted to get to know him.
This is the first time a woman has been genuinely interested in me. It feels nice.
And with that thought, he told her everything. What his childhood was like. How his parents were murdered when he was eleven. About the woman who sheltered him and hid him when the Legion raided their settlement. He told her about Novac and the giant dinosaur that was the towns mascot.
They stood up for a while, just chatting about him. He tried to ask her questions about herself, but she would just shrug and say she didn't remember. He told her about some of the tasty food hes eaten, to which she said she wanted to try them all. She told him she got headaches a lot, but thinks its due to the gunshot. She had asked him to reteach her the appropriate things to do when in public, and asked for a little guidance. So he told her everything he knew, even when it came to sexual behavior, to which she replied that she remember that much. Still though, he wanted to make sure she wouldn't expose herself unknowingly. They laughed a lot and Ringo really enjoyed her company. He was glad he decided to stay and tag along with her.
This is dangerous. I can really fall for her. I better be careful. There's just something about her. I'm drawn to her like a moth to a flame.
Jill was thankful that Ringo was tagging along with her. They talked for hours before they realized it was 3 a.m. and time for bed. She set her alarm on her Pip Boy for 8:30 a.m.
There was only one bed for them, and Jill was fine with that. It was cool in the Mojave at night and Ringo offered some extra warmth. She still couldn't get the image of The Strip out of her head. He had told her about all the neon signs. The wasted citizens stumbling around at night, trying to find their way around. He even mentioned the prostitutes that offered their services.
Not that I will be indulging myself in their services.
Jill chuckled to herself at the thought. Why would anyone want to pay for sex? She wasn't one to knock anyone down for what they did, but not everyone had that attitude. Perhaps they just didn't care what anyone else thought.
Jill wanted to see The Strip. She wanted to gamble, try their fine cuisine and party the night away. She wanted to visit all the clubs that New Vegas had to offer. She wanted to go dancing, and to wear a pretty red dress. She craved the excitement that Ringo built up.
Jill realized at that moment she could do whatever she wanted. She wasn't held down, glued in place by her past life. She had a clean slate, and she could do with herself whatever she pleased. Maybe she would become a mercenary. Maybe she would settle down and start a farm somewhere. She could even save up and see about becoming a business partner on The Strip. The possibilities were endless.
In that moment, she made her first choice as a new woman. She wanted to sleep. Her eyes were heavy. As she closed her eyes, she snuggled closer to Ringo, and imagined what it would be like to walk through The Strip for the first time.
Ringo shifted in his sleep and it woke Jill up. She glanced at the time on her Pip Boy and realized they had overslept! It was already 10 a.m.
Jill bolted up and shook Ringo.
"Wake up! We overslept." Jill was in a panic.
Ringo opened his eyes and just glared at her. "Do you really have to scream?" He questioned.
Jill turned red as she realized she overreacted. She offered him a quick apology, and they gathered their things.
Jill was rushing, and Ringo was doing his best to keep up with her pace. They reached the cemetery pretty fast and Jill scanned it. There were Bloatflies everywhere. She drew her pistol, as did Ringo. They each took a side, and eliminated the flying threat quickly. Jill turned to see Ringo with a knife. When she asked what he was doing, he tilted his head to the side, as if confused.
Jill shook her head. "I'm confused." She admitted. "I'm not sure what you're doing right now."
Ringo explained that they needed to gather the meat and hides from the critters they kill. They could cook the meat, and sell the hides. Jill nodded in agreement.
Skinning the animals and selling their hides would make us a profit. We could definitely use the Caps.
Jill reached for her boot and stopped. She forgot she lost her dagger. She asked Ringo to pick her up a new one when he visited Chet. As Ringo searched the Bloatflies, Jill found her empty grave. She stood there, unable to move. Time stood still and her head hurt. Suddenly, a memory came crashing over her and she wasn't in the graveyard anymore. She was standing in a crumbled city. Rubble and debris littered the streets. There were papers scattered all over the floor. Cement steps to her left and a decaying building to the right. When she looked forward, she froze. There was a giant creature – a Super Mutant – and it was coming directly towards her. She put her arms up to block her face as it charged at it. Just as she was about to scream, it was over. She was back in the graveyard.
Ringo had a hand placed on her shoulder, and she determined that was what brought her back to reality. She looked at him, his face concerned.
Sighing, she told him of her memory.
Or was it a vision? It was so real. I was standing there.
Jill hoped that all her memories wouldn't be like that. She'd never seen a Super Mutant before… Not since waking up at least.
After a quick search of her old grave, she looked a Ringo. "Well, all we learned was that one of them smoke. It's not much, but its something."
Ringo agreed, and Jill decided she was gonna look around a little more.
After a little searching, she managed to find some bobby pins and a snowglobe. As they were leaving, Jill asked Ringo what would help with a headache. He said some Broc Flower would help, but she would have to boil it in water to make a tea. Luckily they found some Broc Flowers at the cemetery. As they duo split up, Ringo wished Jill luck with the schoolhouse.
The door to Goodsprings General Store opened easily, and Ringo scanned the building. He saw Chet standing behind the register and made his way over to him.
Chet seems nice enough. Maybe haggling with him won't be so hard.
Ringo fished inside of his bag, and pulled out a couple Bloatfly eggs. He hoped they would be worth something. He knew they were worth about 10 Caps an egg. Chet offered him 4 Caps each. After a little haggling, he brought it up to 7 Caps, and a discount on anything he purchased during this visit.
Man, Jill called it. This guy loves Caps more than himself. No wonder she wanted me to deal with him.
Feeling satisfied, he purchased a couple stimpacks, some food and plenty of water. Primm was only a couple hours away, but Ringo followed one motto: Better safe than sorry. Worst case scenario, they didn't have to buy food for a while. He also bought some 9mm and 5.56 ammo. Pleased with the prices, Ringo finished up with Chet. They had about 237 Caps left. It wasn't much, but it was enough. They would have to do some serious hunting to earn more money.
Ringo sat outside of the Saloon and made small talk with Easy Pete. Why Jill was calling him Dynamite Pete, he didn't know.
Probably because he hoards dynamite. It's a fitting nickname, I'll give her that.
A half hour passed by and Ringo began to worry about Jill. They were supposed to meet here after she cracked that safe. Maybe she ran into some trouble. Just as Ringo was about to get up, he saw Jill running towards him. She was smiling. She must have opened the safe.
Jill showed him what she found in the safe. It held ammo, stimpacks and a stealthboy. She also managed to find some snacks littered throughout the classroom. She also told him about the Giant Mantis she ran into, and she looted some of their legs to fry. Ringo was pleased that she listened to him when he suggested searching their enemies.
Ringo and Jill made their way around town, saying goodbye to everyone who had helped them. Jill promised Sunny and Trudy she would come back to visit and find a way to repay them for their kindness. When they tried to convince her she already repaid them, she claimed it was nonsense.
With nothing left to do, they headed out towards the I-15. Prim was south of where they were. The courier checked her Pip Boy to make sure they were heading in the right direction. The back and forth banter between the duo would make the trip a lot less boring.
As they approached Primm, an NCR officer approached them. Jill eyed him with caution. She didn't know the NCR, but she didn't trust them.
"Primm's off limits. Keep it moving. Convicts are running around and have taken over the town." The man called.
"We can handle ourselves. We have business in Primm." Jill replied. She wasn't going to let him stop her from getting answers.
"It's your ass, not mine. You've been warned. Talk to Lieutenant Hayes if you want to know more about the situation." With that being said, the officer turned around and continued his patrol of the underpass.
Jill didn't care for Hayes. He was lazy and full of excuses. When she had asked him why he wasn't defending the town, he simply replied that they didn't have enough men. Jill wasn't going to get anywhere with this man. She would have to take care of the convicts herself. Thankfully, Ringo was on the same page.
Just as Jill began to make her way across the makeshift bridge to Primm Ringo grabbed her arm and pulled her back.
"There are mines on the ground. Watch where you step." He informed her as he pointed to the mines.
"Thanks, I almost blew myself up. I don't know much about these things though." She admitted.
"Leave it to me. I'm a secret demolitions expert." He winked and bent down.
Good thing he's with us. I guess we both have our individual strong points. He might not be good with combat, but he saved my ass.
It didn't take Ringo long to disarm the traps, and they managed to take out the two convicts patrolling the town. They had snuck up on them, each picking a target. Jill gave Ringo the closer one, seeing as how her rifle had better range. They determined the convicts would be inside of the Vikki and Vance Casino. After all, that's where anything worth looting would be.
As everyone in the town held them at gunpoint, Jill felt embarrassed.
Guess you were wrong. Where the hell would they go if they didn't want to rob the casino?
It wasn't hard to convince everyone they were here to help. Johnson Nash stepped forward and spoke for everyone. Jill told him why she was there and he offered her a deal. If she rescued Deputy Beagle and took care of the convicts, he would answer her questions. He told her that he ran the Mojave Express. Wanting more than anything to figure out her past, she agreed.
Getting into the Steve and Bison hotel was easy enough, but there were two convicts watching the door. The gunshots were loud and echoed throughout the whole building. Jill was sure they alerted everyone and her and Ringo took cover behind the front desk. They waited for a couple minutes, but no one showed up.
Either we got lucky, or they think the threat is gone. That or they're deaf.
Deciding it was safe, Jill fixed her attention on the terminal that sat dormant on the desk. She powered it to life, and cursed as she saw it was locked. Ringo nudged her out of the way and hacked the terminal effortlessly. He commanded it to unlock the door to their left. It opened with a loud click. Jill readied her pistol and Ringo opened the door. She stepped in and did a quick sweep, looking for a person to train her pistol on. She noticed a safe and made her way over to it. Ringo searched the room for goods and valuables. Jill cracked the safe open and rummaged through it. There was a pistol, some ammo, stimpacks and caps.
There wasn't much in the room aside from some snacks and loose caps. They made their way to the lobby, and scanned the room. To the left were rooms. In front of them, two doors as well. Both leading to the same room. Jill opted to search the closer two rooms. She found a safe inside the one closest to them, but the lock was broken. Someone must have tried to force it. Deciding there wasn't anything else of use in the room, she made her way to the second door. It was locked and she couldn't pick it. It was a deadbolt lock.
With nowhere else to go, they headed the only way left to go. As they approached the hall, they heard talking. They readied their weapons and hugged the wall. Peeking into the hallway, Jill saw it was clear. They convicts must have been in the other room. They looked at each other and nodded in mutual agreement. They would flank, each taking an entrance of their own. As they hugged the walls next to the doors, they took one final glance at each other and nodded.
Ringo swung around the corner and opened fire. He would be a distraction so that Jill could pick them off. He saw one of the convicts drop to the floor, and they shifted their attention to their attacker.
Shit, they saw me.
"Ringo, take them out fast!" Jill yelled as she ducked back behind cover.
Jill didn't expect them to figure out she was the better shot right away. She guessed they weren't as dumb as they looked. She heard another body drop to the floor. She reached toward her boot, kicking herself in the ass as she realized she never asked Ringo if he picked up a new blade for her. They would be on her any second. She holstered her pistol, grabbed her rifle off her back, and clutched it tightly.
As the first convict rounded the corner, she ducked low and maneuvered herself behind him. She was thankful he didn't have time to react and hoisted her rifle above his head. She brought it down in front of him, and pulled her rifle back to her. In an instant the convict was pinned up against her, he was a human shield, rifle holding him close by his neck. The other convicts didn't care and continued to fire at her, shooting their comrade. Ringo took the opportunity and opened fire. Dropping two more convicts. Only the leader was left.
Jill saw the remaining convict raise a huge ass weapon. He aimed right at her, and fired. She dropped her rifle, along with her human shield, and dove to the left behind cover. She wasn't fast enough, and when the Incinerators shot erupted, her leg was caught in the blast radius. She screamed out in pain. Though she wasn't hit directly, it still stung. She hoisted herself up, drew her pistol, and hugged the wall.
Shit. This guy is gonna fry me. I'm toast. I can't take him on while he has that huge ass weapon. I gotta think, and fast.
Jill had one trick up her sleeve. And if it failed, she was either going to die, or have some serious third degree burns. She peeked around the corner, and quickly recoiled back as the convict fired another shot. With a deep breath, she stepped out of cover, and aimed. As the convict fired , so did Jill. There was an explosion as Jill's bullet connected with the convicts' and before she knew it he was on the floor.
Jill's knees gave out, and she was on the floor. She blinked, and just stared at the fallen man.
I can't believe that worked.
She was thankful, but shocked. Who would have thought that her bullet would connect just as he fired, and it would blow up in his face. Ringo offered her a hand, and she accepted it. He hoisted her up from the ground, her legs still shaking.
"That was one hell of a stunt. You okay?" He smiled at her, hoping to lighten the mood.
"Yeah, I'm just a little shaken up. It was a good adrenaline rush though." She stepped forward and scanned the room. There were a couple beds and ammo boxes. There was a room off to the left and she headed towards it. Ringo was busy looting the dead convicts. As she entered what appeared to be a kitchen, she saw the deputy tied up in the back.
Deputy Beagle was a coward and ran off as soon as they untied him. They cleared out the rest of the building and found some Sunset Sarsaparillas. The citizens of Primm asked them to find a new sheriff and Jill said she wouldn't go out of her way, but would see what she could do. Johnson Nash told her about the ex-sheriff at the NCR Correction Facility, He wasn't much help either when it came to her identity. The only information he could offer was that her package was odd and the man canceled it after she set off. He did tell her to talk to Deputy Beagle if she wanted information on the man in the checkered suit.
Deputy Beagle only knew where they were headed. He told her they went east, through Nipton, and towards Novac. Jill and Ringo made their way to Lt Hayes. He was literally a five minute walk away and they can discuss protection for the town.
Heyes wasn't much help. He claimed he would need Major Knight to send some reinforcements to help him secure and defend Primm. He also noted that the townsfolk would have to become registered NCR citizens and pay taxes. Jill wasn't fond of the idea, but it was something.
Major Knight was at the Mojave Outpost, and it wasn't a far trip. As they made their way down I-15 they stopped at a gas station to ransack. They had to take out a couple of Giant Scorpions, which wasn't easy. Its hard exterior deflected most shots, causing little damage. Luckily Jill was able to find a large rock and dropped it on the creature, cracking its armor. After that, it was easy pickings.
The gas station didn't hold much. Some food, and a little money along with a journal entry from a Mayer Joseph B Steyn. His journal entry was interesting enough. Jill learned a lot about this man. He was greedy and disgusting. He made a deal with Caesars Legion, an agent calling himself Fox being the spokesperson for the deal. He was to sacrifice NCR troops and Powder Gangers for the legion, luring them into town at the same time. He was to convince the Powder Gangers to kidnap the NCR troops at night and The Legion would take care of the rest when they were both in town. He wasn't an idiot though, he set up a safe house in the event that he was double crossed.
The Mojave Outpost was about a forty five minute walk, shorter if they hadn't walked back to the highway. They encountered some ants on their way, and quickly disposed of them. Jill stared in awe as she saw a giant statue of two men shaking hands. It appeared to be a monument of some sort, with a plaque underneath. She didn't care enough to read it. Her opinion of the NCR wasn't going to change.
Incompetent. They couldn't handle anything themselves. We had to defend Primm. And even after that, they still can't look out for the citizens without backup. They're useless. All they care about is extorting the people. Forcing them to become citizens and paying taxes all while they sit on their asses doing nothing. If you want someone to join your cause, you need to take initiative. Not let someone else fix the problem and sweep in to reap the benefits of the aftermath. Maybe I'll look into that ex-sheriff Beagle told me about.
"I don't like these guys." Jill stated. Ringo just nodded in agreement. She supposed he didn't want to voice his opinion while they were in earshot. Jill didn't give a shit though, maybe if they heard the truth, they would fix that issue. Then again, maybe they would be to useless to even do that. They asked one of the troopers where they could find Major Knight, and headed over that way. Major Knight was standing behind a desk, and greeted them with a smile.
"Caravan, citizen, pilgrim, or…." He asked.
"Does it really matter?" Jill quipped.
"Just doing my job missy." He retorted. "The big bosses want every visitor logged."
"Courier." She reluctantly replied. She didn't like that they wanted to know everyone's status. So he would get her profession instead. "We were told to talk to you about sending reinforcements down to Primm. They need protection and Hayes said you're the one who handles all of that."
"We are already shorthanded as is. I'm afraid I don't have any additional soldiers to send their way." Knight shrugged.
"Primm is a great location, one the NCR would be fools not to aid. The trade route alone would be great to have, and would help the west. Not to mention all the tourists and traders that travel through there. You could set up a stand, and try and recruit citizens and soldiers." Jill made her point. It was true but she didn't like that she had to sell the town to the NCR.
"I see your point. You make a good argument. I'll go ahead and radio a unit to head over to Primm for support." Knight seemed pleased with this new idea. Apparently the NCR was easy to persuade, as long as they gained something from the outcome. "Anything else I can help you with, Miss Courier?"
"We're actually looking for some work. A place to rest also." She added.
"For work, you can talk to Ranger Jackson. If you want to rest, head over the other building, they have a bar and some extra beds there. Talk to Lacey, she'll set you up." He offered a handshake, as to end their conversation.
The bar area was cozy. There were some vending machines, bar stools and troops wandering about. There was a redhead sitting at the bar, sipping on whiskey. The bartender greeted them and insisted they have a seat. The redhead scoffed and took another swig. They ordered some food. Ringo got some fried mantis legs, and Jill ordered some Brahmin steak. She was starving.
"Why not have a drink too. It'll take the edge off. You seem stressed." The redhead offered her a half smile.
"Thanks. I guess I'll have whatever you're having." Jill didn't remember much when it came to alcohol. Maybe she didn't like the stuff, but it was worth a try.
"You seem like you're drowning yourself in alcohol to run away from something." Ringo interrupted.
"Go fuck yourself." The redhead spat.
"And that tells me I'm right." Ringo added.
He's right. She's running away from something. Maybe we could help her.
"I think you're right." Jill whispered. "Let's get to know her and see if we can help."
"Don't you want to find the men who shot you?" Ringo quietly asked.
"Yes, but if she needs to get drunk and drown out her sorrows, we should help." She kept her tone as low as possible. "Besides, helping her seems more urgent. I don't want her drinking herself to death."
"I'm Jill." She introduced. "And this is Ringo. We've been traveling for three days now. We came from Goodsprings."
"Rose of Sharon Cassidy. You can call me Cass though."
"So what's bothering you?" Jill prodded. "It might not be any of my business, but if I can help, I would like to."
"You're right." Cass answered. "It ain't your fucking business."
"Ouch." Jill sarcastically answered. "Great defense mechanism there. I was shot in the head and left for dead, and even then I didn't forget how to not be a bitch."
"You know what?" Cass slammed her hands down on the bar. "I like you. Alright smartass. I used to own my own caravan. Cassidy Caravans, until my caravan was attacked and burned to ash. Since then I've been grounded her. Stuck because these small dick NCR assholes won't let me leave. I think it was more than some tribals raiding my caravan but I won't find out. So I sit here and drink all fucking day long going crazy."
"So they won't let you leave? That's bullshit." Ringo clenched his fist. "The fucking NCR thinks they can dictate people?"
"Apparently" Jill sighed. She would have to see if she could get whoever was in charge to let Cass go.
As they ate and drank, they chatted some more. Jill could tell Cass didn't want to be here. And she would do anything to get out in the world again. She longed for adventure and wanted to forget about her Caravan. She had been highly successful. Starting out was rough enough but eventually she was a huge competitor for the Crimson Caravan Company. She thinks they had something to do with burning her caravan to the ground but couldn't prove anything. Ringo offered his insight, about his own caravan being attacked and raided. He decided not to mention he worked for the Crimson Caravan Company.
Jill was drunk. She could barely keep herself from falling over. Everything was hilarious, and she couldn't stop laughing. As they all shared their secrets, insecurities and adventures, Jill couldn't help but feel dull. Her head was hurting all day, and it was just getting worse by the minute. She figured it was the alcohol but Cass and Ringo told her it wasn't. There was no way she was getting a hangover while still drunk. She wanted desperately to be interesting. She blurted out that she had a crazy dream and the duo just stared at her like she had three heads. She told them about her pre war dream. About the dog, and the sirens. The explosion, and fire that purged everything around her. She told them it was then she woke up in Doc Mitchell's house. They said it was probably some story she read and she just dreamt it, as a way of her brain coping with the bullet wound.
"You're a lightweight." Cass teased. "I'm waiting for you to fall the fuck over."
Jill scoffed. "At least I'm not burning a hole in my wallet. Take that bitch.
"Ya got me there." Cass admitted defeat. "I wish it only took me three shots, and a beer to get shit faced."
Jill stood up and almost fell over, catching her balance on Ringo. She steadied herself and pushed away from him. Her cheeks red, and her vision slightly blurred, she made her way to the couch. She wanted to close her eyes. Her head was pounding. Suddenly, a sharp pain made its way from the back of her head, straight down her back. She screamed loud in agony, and grabbed her head with both of her hands. As she screamed Ringo and Cass got up and ran over to her. She fell to her knees, still gripping her skull. She let out another loud, ear piercing shriek. Time suddenly stood still. The pain receded for the moment. She opened her eyes and looked around. She wasn't in the Mojave Outpost anymore. She was floating in mid air, looking down at herself.
"Please, don't kill me." The man pleaded. "I didn't betray you, I promise."
Jill saw herself holding the barrel of her gun to a mans head, tears in his eyes.
"You're right." Her tone was cold. "You betrayed &*#$ and for that, you die."
She pulled the trigger, brain particles and blood splattered the walls. His body fell limp, blood pooling around his head. She fished through his pockets and pulled out a document. She turned and exited the building, not even glancing back.
Jill suddenly remembered this event, but as much as she tried to recall who's name she had said, she couldn't. She worked for someone, and that someone was betrayed. She was sent to kill him. Had she been an assassin? She didn't want to remember anymore. She couldn't handle the truth. Her heart pounded, and everything went black. In an instant it was over. Ringo had his arms around her, caressing her head, whispering that everything was alright. Cass was rubbing her back, telling her nothing was wrong.
Jill opened her eyes, tears falling down her face. She grabbed Ringo and hugged him, burying her face in his chest. As she cried her eyes out and he just held her, she wished that she didn't remember. She was a good person. She couldn't be a murderer. Before, she wanted to remember her past more than anything. Now, she wished her memories would have died.
