Author's Note: Hey ya'll. Sorry that I haven't updating in such a long time. I got ill, but now I'm getting better, so all's good. Quite honestly, this chapter is probably the worst yet. I'm not gonna lie to you. I almost fell asleep rereading it, and it seems a bit rushed. So please, feel free to completely bash it. Flames are totally accepted (whoah did I just say that?!). Yeah, it said it. I deserve it, anyways. I just felt like I needed to get this chapter out before you all thought I had abandoned it. I also want to make a note that I changed the chronological (however you spell it) order of some events from HBP, so pretty please keep that in mind. Without any further ado, here's the disapointing chapter.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. The fabulous J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter. I'm not J.K. Rowling. Get it? Got it? Good.

Warning: This chapter contains a lot of crappiness.


Delusional First Years: Mission HHr

Objective 3.0: Tampered Pumpkin Juice

Professor Sprout seemed to be extra jolly. It was kind of freaking me out.

"So, children," she said, clapping her hands excitedly, "today, we will be growing mistletoes!"

Okay, so the jolliness was acceptable. "Oh my God," Faith whispered in my ear. Seth rolled his eyes, but we ignored him. "Mistletoe!"

"It's perfect," I said as I perfected the front texture of my robes.

"They will be ready within a week," the professor added. Her toothy smile made me hastily look away and my eyes landed on Seth, who was now muttering something that sounded like, "Please kill me now".

After being told instructions, (Faith and I were listening very carefully -- ten points for Gryffindor) we hastily rushed towards the seeds of mistletoe and prepared to plant them.

"Reggie Yupolitz and Marissa Cavinean!" Georgia Rent whispered to some unknown Hufflepuff across from me. "They will be perfect together!"

I rolled my eyes. Who was stupid enough to put two innocent eleven-year-olds under a mistletoe? It wouldn't be as interesting and Harry and Hermione under a mistletoe. People these days. Pfft.

"Children! Children!" Professor Sprout exclaimed. "Be careful! These mistletoes contain a curse!"

"Ooooooooh," we all said in unison.

"If a mistletoe is hung above two people, and if they don't kiss..." the professor began. She paused for a dramatic effect, and I thought that her eyes were going to pop out of her head any second now. "Then they will be cursed until the two do kiss!"

"But Professor Sprout!" Jennifer Aggley, a fellow Gryffindor interupted. She had curly red hair, and freckles covered the majority of her face. "Doesn't that interfere with free will?"

"Yes, it does, but this is a world of magic, dear. Free will is interfered constantly," Professor Sprout replied.

--------------------

Within a long week, our mistletoes were fully grown, we were allowed to bring them back to our dormitories, and Professor Sprout stopped being the freakishly happy teacher that everyone was afraid to be in the presence of. All was well. Except for the fact that it was the day before the Christmas party, and we (meaning Faith and I...Seth wanted to stay out of the situation) were getting desperate.

"So, what's the plan, Jenny?" Faith asked me in the Gryffindor common room. She had looked up from our Transfiguration homework (a one page essay on a Transfiguration theory made by some random witch named Robin Neplin).

"Dunno," I said quickly. And I wasn't joking. All of this would be much easier if the two were going to Slughorn's Christmas Party together. But unfortunately, that was kind of part of the mission...

Suddenly, Hermione Granger bursted through the portrait hole with a tear-stained face. She began muttering things like, "Prat" and "handlebar mustache". Cormac, my dear older brother, just had to walk in as well.

"Hermione, are you okay?" he asked.

She turned around so quickly that I thought she was going to have whiplash. "Um, yeah, I'm fine," she said plainly, wiping her eyes with her sleeve.

"I was just wondering...er...if you wanted to, you know, go to the Christmas party with me," Cormac said shyly.

What?! No, no, no! This couldn't be happening...I shut my eyes tightly...when I would open my eyes, Harry would replace Cormac... But unfortunately, when my eyes opened, Hermione was smiling at Cormac and saying, "Yes, I'll go with you." She seemed rather happy now, as she rushed up the stairs to the girl's dormitories.

"Cormac Lance McLaggen!" I exclaimed, hopping out of my seat. A few fourth years sitting near the window jumped in surprise. "How dare you? My own flesh and blood, betraying all my precious plans -- "

"What are you talking about?" he asked, backing away from me.

"You know perfectly well what I'm talking about. You asked Hermione to the -- the party! You weren't supposed to, because -- " I stopped in my tracks. Of course. Of course! It was perfect. "Never mind," I said hastily. "Just go with her."

"Jenny, I think that you need to go to the Hospital Wing -- are you feeling well?" he asked.

"I'm perfectly fine," I said with a fake smile, and I sat down beside a shocked Faith. Cormac shook his head and stumbled off to the boy's dormitories.

Faith, with wide eyes, said, "Are you serious? You're just going to let Cormac go to the party with Hermione?"

I ignored her and said, "My Aunt Delia gave me some Sickness Potion last summer..."

Faith was either having a heart attack or going into a shocked state. I couldn't tell which. "What? What does this have to do with your Aunt Delia? We need to into the party, and first years can't go -- !"

I rolled my eyes. "Faith, we're not going to be first years. Look around. Who do you want to go to the party as?"

--------------------

The next morning, Cormac had mysteriously gotten sick and would not be able to attend the Christmas party. Also, fifth year boy had gotten the same sickness as Cormac. Geez, I wonder who tampered with their morning pumpkin juice.

"Are you sure that Professor Slughorn will let us use Polyjuice Potion?" Faith asked.

"Yes, Faith," I said impatiently.

We walked to Professor Slughorn's office, and Faith had been interogating me all the while. Just when I was about to hex Faith out of aggrivation, Professor Slughorn stepped out of his office and almost walked right into us.

"Oi, 'ello young ladies," he said with a cheery smile. "What can I do for ya?"

"Well, Professor, this is Faith Sparke, and I'm Jenny Mc -- "

"Miss McLaggen, of course!" he said, completely ignoring Faith. He shook my hand, which was ready to fall off from his overuse of force.

"Er...sir, Faith and I were just wondering if we could, um, use a bit of Polyjuice Potion," I said.

"Polyjuice Potion?" he repeated, bemused. "What would two first years like yourselves be doing with Polyjuice Potion?" He raised his right eyebrow quizically.

"My Uncle Tiberius is doing research on it, you know, since he's always been interested in Potions, and I want to be a Potions teacher when I grow up some day, so I thought that taking a look at Polyjuice Potion would help...er...my confidence in succeeding."

Faith gave me a look which told me that she was trying very hard not to burst out laugh. I hadn't even known what I had just said, and I knew it sounded rather stupid. But apparently, Professor Slughorn was falling for it.

"O' course, Miss McLaggen! You're one of my best Potions students. Just like yer Uncle Tiberius..." his voice trails off into mutters of how great my uncle was as the Professor rushed into his office, then returned with a bottle of Polyjuice Potion.

"We actually got Polyjuice Potion!" Faith whispered as we walked to the Great Hall just in time for breakfast. "I can't believe it!"

When we told Seth what we had just managed, he was inarticulate. He just kept staring at us. "So anyways," I said to Faith, ignoring him. "You'll be -- "

"Patrick Hacket, a fifth year Ravenclaw who got invited to Slughorn's party because his great- great- great- grandfather produced the Draught of Living Death," she said robotically. "And he brought along a date, named, um, I can't remember her name..."

"Er...right," I said. "I'll be Cormac, of course. And Seth, do you want to be anyone? We've still got time."

"No, Jenny," he said irritably. "If we get caught -- "

"We won't get caught, Seth, calm down. And even if we do get caught -- which, you know, won't happen -- we'll just get a slap on the wrist, that's all," I replied intelligently.

Seth slammed his fist on the table, causing his pumpkin juice to spill out of his cup. "We could get expelled!"

"How do you know? It's not like you've -- "

"Cedric told me once," he said uncomfortably, sinking back into his seat. My heart dropped.

"Oh," I squeaked. "Okay."

I suddenly felt guilty for questioning Seth. The last time Seth had talked about his deceased cousin was on the Hogwarts express, and he had told me that he wanted to be in Hufflepuff, just like Cedric had. Silence blanketed over the three us of us, while everyone else in the Great Hall talked, laughed, and threw food at each other.

"We'll be careful," Faith assured him.

---------------------

Slughorn's Christmas Party was about to start, and Faith and I had a pretty good idea about what we were going to do. "Are you sure I look okay?" she asked.

"Be quiet, Faith. You're a guy, you shouldn't be caring about how you look for a party," I said as I tapped my foot -- well, technically, Cormac's foot -- on the marble flooring, waiting for Hermione. "And there's your date! Go!" I pushed Faith -- or Patrick Hacket, whatever it was -- towards a giggling fifth year girl.

"Patrick, why did you want me to meet you outside of the Gryffindor tower?" the girl asked as she flipped her hair blonde hair over her shoulder.

"It's, um -- " Faith began with her normal, higher pitched voice. She cleared her throat and said, "It's a shortcut." The girl giggled again, grabbed Faith's arm, and pulled her out of sight. I eagerly checked Cormac's watch. I understood how girls took a long time to get ready, but --

Suddenly, the portrait hole opened, and Hermione Granger stepped out. For the first time I had ever witnessed, she had applied a decent amount of makeup, and her hair wasn't as bushy. She was wearing red dress robes that I envied deeply. "Hi Hermione," I said. "You look...er...nice."

She smiled. "Thank you, Cormac." It felt awkward being called by my brother's name, but I managed to cope with it the entire way down to Slughorn's office. I could hear music, laughter, and loud conversations by the time we entered the familiar corridor which led to the ever-so-family office of Professor Slughorn.

Hermione seemed happy, yet nervous. As we walked into the newly decorated office, she said, "Well, here we go, I guess."

I hear ya loud and clear.


Author's Note: So...that's the chapter that you want to burn. And please, I don't want to hear comments like "how dare you bash your own story! you're cruel and just seeking attention!" Did you guys like the twist where Seth is Cedric Diggory's cousin? It was just a random extra thing that my brain conjured, and I thought that sure, why not, right? It might actually prove to be useful. I've already started working on the next chapter, but that's not saying much because it will probably take a long time to finish. Sorry, dudes.