After

Chapter Three

-Once Upon A Time-

Derek somehow managed to get home in a little less than fifteen minutes, thankfully for Addison who was panicking despite her mother's reassuring words.

"Meredith can't come yet."

"Does she hate me? Oh, Derek, I'm sorry!"

"It's not your fault." Derek told her, giving Michael a disgusted look. "Let's go look for her. You said you and your father had been fighting only for a few minutes, she can't be that far away. Adds, go in direction of the park; I'll go look around her school. She probably went to a place she knows well."

"I want to look for her as well." Bizzy pointed out.

"No, it's better if you stay here in case she comes back. She'll want to see someone she likes."

Derek wanted to punch Michael, but they were already wasting time talking, they had to go. Fast. Time furthered the distance more and more.

Bizzy unwillingly nodded.

Addison watched Derek walk away through her tearful eyes. Brushing away the salty tears that had fallen, she started to walk towards the park. It was only three blocks away from their house, but it was really dark, no one was around, and Addison shivered at the thought of her young girl alone in that cold moonless night.

"Mackenzie?" she called out loudly. "Mackenzie, honey? Are you here? Please answer me."

Addison walked around for a few minutes, ready to catch the slightest sign of her daughter's presence, as fear of losing her, of living a life far from her, arose inside her.

"I'm here."

Addison jumped slightly. She turned around, trying to identify the exact place where the voice came from.

"Mackenzie?" she called again, softer.

Mackenzie emerged from behind a big oak tree.

"Honey, what are you doing here? We were scared."

As the girl walked closer to her, Addison saw she had been crying. Instinctively, she opened her arms and wrapped them around her daughter's body. "Everything's okay. I promise. I'm sorry you heard us fight. We'll talk about it. But right now just focus on the fact that you're safe and that everything is okay."

Mackenzie sniffed, but nodded. "I don't want to go home yet." she said. "I need to talk to you, alone. Can we stay here?"

"What about we go home and close up in your room so nobody bothers us but we're at least warm and comfortable?"

"No. Please."

Addison sighed. "Alright, but let me call your dad first."

"You called him? I only went for a walk!"

"I'm known for panicking when bad things happen. And you not being in the house while you were supposed to, at night, is a bad thing. So don't ever do it again, please."

"Did my mom come too?"

"No, your dad told her but was in surgery, I think."

Mackenzie didn't add anything, and Addison pulled away slightly so that she could phone Derek.

After the brief dialogue with her boyfriend, Addison looked at Mackenzie again. "Let's sit over there, alright?"

The girl nodded, following her closely. Addison didn't let go of her hand.

"What do you want to talk about?"

"I have questions." Mackenzie told her. "I waited to ask because I wanted us to have a stronger bond first, but now I want to know. Your father made me think about it."

"You can ask me whatever you need to know. Always."

"Does my biological father know about me?"

Addison's heart stopped for a second. She knew the question was going to come sooner or later, but she wasn't expecting it at that very moment. "Yes." she said. "He knows."

Mackenzie took a moment to think about the reply.

"Who was the first person to know about me?"

"It was him, your father."

"Did you really want to keep me?"

"Of course I wanted to keep you." Addison was getting a little emotional.

"But you wanted to study more than you wanted me." Mackenzie's lower lip trembled slightly.

Addison pushed back a wave of pain. "What I wanted was being a good mother, and I didn't know how to do that. No one was willing to teach me, to help me. I was young, and I was raised to reach great aims. My mother wasn't exactly...motherly. I knew I couldn't do it by myself and I chose to make you happy instead of myself. I would have been really, truly happy with you in my life. I am happy now."

Mackenzie inhaled air and sniffed. "Okay. I'm sorry, I know you've always loved me, I wasn't doubting it. Next question. Did you choose a name for me?"

Addison shook her head, this time with a small smile. "I only called you 'my baby'. But I think I would have named you Ashley."

"What if I was a boy?"

Addison thought about it for a while, going back in time. "I liked John."

Mackenzie's lips parted in a bright smile. "I like them."

Addison ran her hand up and down the girl's back. "Do you have other questions?"

"Well... why is your dad so mean?"

"Oh, sweetie. He just – he's all about appearances, you know? He was ashamed of me when I was pregnant, but I let him convince me to let other people adopt you, and he moved past that. At least, he looked like he did. Now I broke your parents' marriage – I did, honey – and I'm back to being a -"

"A slut?" Mackenzie suggested, repeating her grandfather's words.

Addison frowned. "Don't say that word."

"Hey, I wasn't saying that you-"

"I know, but I don't like it anyway."

Mackenzie stared at her. "Did they call you that?"

"No, not really." Addison shrugged. "But I'm sure my parents' friends and acquaintances were convinced I was."

"I'm ready to go back." Mackenzie said after a couple of minutes of silence, during which Addison had gone back to her teenage years. "But I'd rather not see your father for a while. He made me really angry."

"I'd rather not see him either." Addison sighed, wondering if her new relationship with her mother was going to be ruined by that night's events.


Addison parked near Mackenzie's school. Meredith was free that afternoon, and Derek could have easily gone pick her up, but the now twelve-year-old specifically requested her.

It was a sunny day, quite warm, with no clouds. Addison was wearing her favorite sunglasses. A few minutes later she heard the bell ring in the distance, and children started to walk out of the building in flows.

Addison spotted Mackenzie talking to two other girls her age, laughing at something they said, at their private jokes. When the girl saw her she waved, waiting for Mackenzie to join her.

"Hi!" she greeted her, in her usual foamy way.

"Hi, sweetheart. How was your day?"

"As always, nothing happened though. You? What did you do?"

"I cleaned the house." Addison groaned. "And then I tried to cook."

Mackenzie widened her eyes, faking horror.

"Hey!" Addison protested. "It didn't end bad. You can safely taste it this time."

"Finally." the girl giggled, and Addison jokingly rolled her eyes.

"How about we put your schoolbag in my car and then go get an ice-cream?"

"It sounds like a good plan."

"Okay, let's go."

Twenty minutes later they were sitting in a nice ice-cream shop, and Mackenzie was happily licking her cone.

"Why are you staring at me like that?" Addison asked.

"Because I need to ask you something."

"Alright, shoot."

"I want you to tell me about my father. My biological father. I talked to my parents about it, and they're okay with me knowing him. I see you every week, after all."

Addison straightened on the chair. "What do you want to know exactly?"

"Everything." Mackenzie simply said. "You know that night on Thanksgiving when I ran away? I actually wanted to ask about him, but I was scared I wouldn't like the answers so I didn't. But curiosity is killing me. I want to know where I come from."

Addison gave her a sad smile, going back in time once more. "You'll like the answers, I promise. First of all, his name is Fabian. We are the same age, and we met at school, at prom. I was there with another boy but he was a total idiot and I was bored, so I went for a walk and I saw Fabian on a bench. We started to talk. We started to meet, talked about our interests, we soon found out we had a lot of things in common. One day, after a few weeks, he said we should be a couple, because after all we acted like one. I hadn't thought about our meetings in that way before, but we saw each other almost every day, for hours and hours, and we never got tired. When he said it, I realized I liked him a lot. So we started to hang out in a different way, like boyfriend and girlfriend. He took me to meet his family. He has two older brothers, an older sister, and a younger brother. Their names are Thomas, James, Karen and Colin. I found them all very nice. His mother didn't work, but his father was an actor. Well, he played in a local theater, he didn't make much money, but the plays were all amazing and so was he. Fabian and I were together for a few months. Then we decided we were ready for something more, because we wanted to feel closer before I left for college – and I'll skip the details – but I got pregnant. I told him in the park behind our high school. He was playing his guitar. He got pale, let it almost slip out of his hands. I was crying because I was scared of my parents' reaction, but most of all of his. I didn't want him to reject me. Then he kissed me. He started to say a lot of corny thing about us and you, and I believed it all. I was so confident. But at the same time I could see he was just as frightened as me, and I knew we couldn't afford to have a child without my parents' economical support. His family couldn't help us in that way. After my parents reacted in the wrong way, I met up with Fabian and told him that I had to leave for college, that I couldn't have you."

"What did he say?" Mackenzie interrupted her, unable to keep quiet for longer. It was a sad story.

"He cried." Addison told her. "He kept saying that he loved me. But in that moment, our love wasn't enough."

"You were right." Mackenzie said when she realized Addison wasn't going to add more. "I instantly liked him. I'd like to meet him so much."

"I've never seen him again after that."

"Do you still have his phone number?" the girl asked.

"What?"

"His phone number! We could call him. I know it's been more twelve years but I'd really really like it."

"I never deleted his number, but I'm not sure if he changed it or something."

"Let's try? Please?"

Addison felt uneasy at the thought of calling her daughter's biological father after so many years of nothing, but she couldn't say no to those eyes.

"Alright, I'll let it ring three times, and if he doesn't answer, we'll let it go. Maybe we can try another time."

"Okay." Mackenzie agreed.

Addison took out her phone, scrolled down the familiar names until she got to the letter F. "Here it is." she took a big breath, showed Mackenzie she was pressing 'call', and waited.

One, two, thr-

"Hello?"

"Fabian?" Addison managed to ask, though she was sure it was him. It was his voice.

"Who...?"

"It's Addison. Addison Montgomery."

"Oh. Oh."

"I know. I know, I've disappeared. I'm sorry about that, I didn't have a choice."

"Tell him about me!" Mackenzie ordered, agitated.

"She's here."

"She? You mean her? You mean you had a girl? We had a daughter?"

"Yes. A couple adopted her a few hours after I gave birth, but a little less than a year ago I looked for them and now she's here. She'd like to meet you someday."

"I'd love that too."

"Do you want to talk to him?" Addison asked the twelve-year-old, covering the phone with her hand.

Mackenzie shook her head. "Another time."

"She said she wants to talk to you, but not right now. She's still adjusting, you know? She's amazing."

"What's her name?"

"It's Mackenzie. Her mother chose it."

"It's beautiful. Tell her – tell her that I love her. That I've thought about her every day."

"I will." Addison promised.

"Addison, are you happy?"

"Yes. I am. I am way more than happy."

"I'm glad everything worked out for you. I'm happy too. Really happy. We made the right choice, right?"

"Up until one year ago, I would have said no. But now – yes, we did, Fabian."

"We did." he repeated. "Well – I'll call you again soon, is that okay?"

"Sure, or I'll call you. Mackenzie and I will talk about it with her parents, and then I'll let you know when. She definitely wants to see you though."

"Great. I can't wait. I can't believe you called me, Addison. It seems so surreal."

"It does." Addison agreed. "Believe me, it's real. And it's life-changing. But it's also the most perfect thing that can happen in someone's life."


That night, Addison was glad to see Derek. When Mackenzie brought up Fabian, she was scared that old feelings were going to alter the new ones, because she didn't get closure with her former love story. But Derek was amazing, and Addison felt more complete than ever whenever she saw him, whenever he was around.

"I love you, Derek."

He smiled, jumped on the bad, still half-wet after his shower, and enveloped her in a hug.

"I love you two, Adds."

In that moment, whatever doubt or fear Addison had ever had in her life disappeared, whatever unresolved matter found a solution, and she understood that Fabian was her past, Derek her future, and that Mackenzie was what tied them all. And that she wouldn't have it in any other way.


A/N: I felt this was needed, I hope you liked it.