This one's from Rachel's POV. Keep in mind that these have to stick more or less to canon. Enjoy!
He was more attractive than any other boy she'd seen since she'd stepped off the train. The fact that he was interested in her surprised her to no end; when she allowed herself to acknowledge it.
The absence of Finn in New York ached steadily no matter what she was doing. She might not have ever been able to quite picture him here with her but that didn't stop her from missing him more than she could stand.
Which brought her back to her current contemplations. How could she possibly consider Brody's intentions when her heart was so shattered? The pain of Finn's abrupt decision to put her on a train was tragic and unbearable and –
So sometimes she was as overdramatic as she had been in high school. A smile graced her face briefly as the words of a different ex ran through her mind. Chill out my Little Jewish American Princess.
She stood from where she was moping on her bed and decided to take a walk. Grabbing her purse and jacket, she left the dorm building and headed towards the park.
Where had her thoughts ended? Ah yes, her heart was broken and yes she was a bit dramatic but she is an actress after all. She needed to really feel these things so that she could properly portray them on stage.
Finn was supposed to be her one epic love. The two of them were meant to end up together and no one had ever threatened that. Forgetting someone Berry? That pesky voice seemed intent on undercutting all of her thoughts. She sat on a bench with a silent huff.
So perhaps her relationship with Finn had never been seamless. Perhaps there had been little problems here or there. Little problems Berry? In denial much? Fine! The two of them had faced more than a few epic hurdles. They'd broken up and gotten back together without any real ease but they'd always gotten back together.
She didn't need that all-knowing male voice to correct her this time. They might not get back together this time. She had been in the city for over three months and she hadn't heard a single word from Finn. Kurt was keeping mum on the subject and always found a reason to hang up whenever she asked. She didn't think he was dating anyone, but she wasn't sure if he thought he was allowed to.
There hadn't ever been a real breakup. She had been under the impression that they were driving towards their wedding when he pulled into the train station parking lot. She'd been pushed onto a train before any real information had been agreed on and she hadn't talked with him since.
Were they even together anymore? She was still wearing the ring, although that voice in her head was constantly asking her why.
Rachel nibbled on her nail as her thoughts became ever so jumbled. The original purpose of this exercise hadn't been to question everything she knew about her relationship, past and present, with Finn. She had been simply wondering what to do about Brody's not-so-subtle attraction to her.
Come on Princess, time to face facts. Rachel silently cursed the man whose voice had been sounding off in her head for months now. There hadn't been a stray thought that he wouldn't have told her himself, if he'd been here to do so. He had always been highly logical and blunt to boot. He'd also never been a fan of Finchel.
Rachel suddenly had an overwhelming desire to speak with him. She hadn't thought of him much since she'd left, had been simply too depressed about Finn or confused about Brody. Perhaps her heart had missed him enough for the both of them and had decided that placing his voice at the forefront of her imagination was the way to get through to her.
She hadn't talked to him since they graduated. He'd been there at the train station, had even placed his hands over his heart and mouthed that he loved her as the train carried her away. Why had she never considered his kindness? She should have called him and told him how much she appreciated the gesture, even if it hadn't been noticed at the time.
She pulled her phone from her purse and dialed the numbers. Her finger hovered above the call button before frowning and pressing the red button instead.
She hadn't called him because like everything else in her life, her relationship with Noah was complicated by her relationship with Finn. She wasn't unaware of the promise he'd forced Noah to make back in junior year. She'd been simply too heartened by Finn's jealousy and what it might mean for them to actually defend their friendship.
As she thought back on the past few years she felt shame crawl over her. She'd done a lot of bad things and slighted a lot of people in her pursuit of the "perfect" relationship with Finn Hudson.
Noah Puckerman had only been one of many casualties.
Her fingers were dialing again without her permission and the call was sent through before she could rethink it. The phone rang a few times before she heard his gravelly voice on the other end. She opened her mouth excitedly before snapping it shut again as the voicemail greeting played out. The message ended and there was a beep, signalling her to start talking.
"Hello Noah." She paused, wondering what to say next. "I was thinking about you today and I realised that it's been awhile since we've spoken. I've been busy here in New York and I didn't realise how neglectful I'd been towards my friends. I really hope you're doing well in, oh my, I actually don't know where you are." She paused again, sniffling against the wave of remorse that was washing over her. "Can you call me sometime Noah? I'd really like to catch up. I miss you. Goodbye."
She ended the call and wiped at the stray tears that had fallen during the call. She actually had no idea where he was living now. She knew that he'd planned on staying in Lima when they graduated but she knew better than to think he was still there. He'd never been the Lima Loser he'd always been labeled and she knew he was as desperate to get out as she had been.
She sat and thought warmly of her first boyfriend, the boy who'd always swooped in and picked her up after she and Finn hurt each other. She thought of all the stolen kisses and warm hugs with a fondness that surprised her. She'd never really given him a real shot; he'd always been just behind Finn and that was all that had ever mattered.
She realised, sitting there on the bench that she probably could have loved him if she'd allowed herself to see past Finn. It was startling to think such a thing when she'd been adamant that only Finn could fill her heart. It sort of turned the way she viewed her future love life on its head. If she could have loved Noah, than perhaps she could someday love someone other than Finn too. Maybe that someday didn't have to be so far off. It was too late for her and Noah surely, but maybe she could give Brody a chance. It didn't really appear that Finn had any intention of being with her again.
It was decided. She would give Brody a call and invite him out on a date. She stood up and secured her purse over her shoulder as she headed home. She pulled out her phone once more and began to dial Brody's number when a familiar tune announced a call. Her face lit up in a grin as she forgot what she'd been doing and answered the phone.
"Noah Puckerman! I'm so happy you called me back." She told him gleefully, by way of greeting.
His laugh was low and warm on the other end of the line. "Give me a little credit Berry. Have I ever left you hanging?"
Rachel stopped and shook her head, forgetting he couldn't see her. "No, Noah," She replied softly. "You've never let me down."
"Damn straight. Now tell me everything."
Rachel giggled and told him about her time in New York so far. He listened intently and commented in all of the right places. When she'd finished talking, he regaled her with stories of the fabulous people he'd met in LA. The two of them talked until her phone signalled it was about to die several hours later.
"Thanks for calling me back Noah, I really needed this."
He was silent for so long that she worried her phone had died. She was just checking her phone when he replied quietly. "So did I Rach. I'm always here if you need me, you know?"
"I know Noah. I've never doubted that." She told him solemnly.
They traded goodnights and she hung up as she reached her building. Night had fallen and the air had chilled but she didn't mind. As she walked into her dorm room she realised that this was the best she'd felt in a long time.
It was time to move on.
Any thoughts? Thanks for reading.
