Chapter 3
Sang-Mi studied the photograph in front of her in hurt and confusion. She couldn't believe the image that was presented before her eyes at that moment. Was it really possible for this thing to happen? Could the photograph be a fake one? Well, what with all the advance technology these days, surely it wasn't impossible for some money grubbing paparazzi to alter the original photographs and make new ones that was right before her eyes right then.
Sang-Mi gazed at the image in front of her carefully, studying every curve and angel of everything in the picture. Well, no matter how hard she looked at it there was no way of telling if this was an original photograph or not. She wasn't an expert in photography.
Sang-Mi was sitting in her living room and she was holding an entertainment magazine in her hand. Sang-Mi rarely bought entertainment magazines because she was more into women's beauty magazines. But the large photograph that was splattered across the cover of that particular magazine had caught her eyes immediately. She knew it was Leeteuk on it. And she knew who the woman he was holding hands with was. Her heart seemed to shatter into a million pieces every time she looked at the image. And then whenever she thought that it wasn't fair for her to jump to conclusions like that and that she should give Leeteuk the benefit of the doubt, her heart seemed to mend itself a bit.
She flipped through the pages and was almost ready to cry her eyeballs out when she saw even more pictures of Leeteuk and the woman! Ugh, was he hugging her? And so closely too…with his arms about her slim waist…Sang-Mi seethed and before she knew it, she was already thrusting the magazine across her coffee table and was sobbing uncontrollably.
It wasn't true!
It couldn't be true!
Leeteuk would never do that to her!
Never!
Because he loved her and she loved him in return and they were happy together.
Sang-Mi felt another pang of jealousy and hurt as she remembered her past conversations with Leeteuk these past few weeks.
He'd been busy working on his new project, a drama series called Love Celebrity and she had been supportive, patient and understanding.
When he called her and said abruptly that he couldn't make it for their planned Saturday night dinner, she accepted it without making a fuss. She knew he was a star. Hell, she was involved with a star so that meant she had to understand how difficult it could be for her when her boyfriend had to be off somewhere half across an ocean for some photo shoot. Oh but her love for Leeteuk made her forget all the times he weren't with her. She also wanted to support him in whatever career path he took and that included being a famous pop star with a very demanding schedule.
Sang-Mi let out a dragging groan that she always did whenever she was frustrated or upset. Leeteuk always said she sounded like a donkey braying when she groaned like that…She'd playfully smack him in his arm and release a hideous groan right into his face.
The memories came flooding back into her mind like the rush of water from a broken dam. That's it! She had to do something about it and she had to do it quick. If she truly loved Leeteuk and if she wanted Leeteuk to be there by her side forever then she needed to get this out of her system.
She didn't want to feel this sense of betrayal. She didn't want to look into Leeteuk's eyes all the while wondering if anything had went on more in those photos…
Because in that photo…Well, photos actually…
Were pictures of SNSD's Yoona holding hands with Leeteuk. Her Leeteuk. And they didn't just hold hands! They were hugging each other and gazing into each other's eyes as if they were in love. At one point, Leeteuk was even shown to have his arm wounded around the girl's skinny slip of a waist.
Grabbing her cell phone swiftly, she punched in the numbers of Leeteuk's phone. She waited with baited breath for Leeteuk's voice to come through.
"Hello?"
"…."
"Sang-Mi?" came his sweet voice and for a moment, Sang-Mi was at a loss for words.
"Jungsoo-sshi…I saw the headlines today…" Sang-Mi's voice trailed out softly.
"Is it true that you were with her? Is it true that what I'm seeing in these photos is real?" she asked her voice trembling a bit at the end.
There was a pause and Leeteuk sounded as if he took a deep breath.
"Don't misunderstand, Sang-Mi-ah," he said, his tone sounded light like he wanted to make things easier.
"We were just trying to promote the new drama we're doing that's all. Trust me, it wasn't like I even wanted to do it but our producers and the director asked us to."
Sang-Mi's eyes blurred with tears and she wiped one eyes away and unable to control herself she let out a little sob.
"Are you crying, Sang-Mi-ah?" Leeteuk asked softly.
"I-I-I just don't kn-know wh-why you have to act s-so lovey dovey with her?" Sang-Mi sobbed, "We haven't seen each other for three weeks already because you've been busy with the drama…How do I know that it's really the drama you were busy with and not this stupid skinny slip of a girl!"
"I don't call you because you said you might be busy…Were you out with her when the acting was done? Were you going out with her between breaks? How am I supposed to know what you were doing these past few weeks?"
Leeteuk sighed and he knew it was a troublesome thing the photos with Yoona. Yeesh, he didn't even like the girl like that but it was true the producers had told them to act all cute and lovey dovey. He had refused rather vehemently at first but when he saw how uncomfortable Yoona was getting and how the other producers were looking at him, Leeteuk relented.
He kept thinking, 'It's not a big deal. Sang-Mi won't find out.'
"You have to trust me on this," Leeteuk said to her firmly, "What's a relationship without trust? I'm your boyfriend and we love each other and that means you've gotta trust me when I say that I'm not doing anything with Yoona."
"Then why didn't you tell me about this?" Sang-Mi practically shouted into the phone. She hadn't wanted to lose her cool but this was getting too much for her to bear. Her love for Leeteuk and the part about trust he said…Sure, trust him and then find pictures of him cuddling up to another girl!
"You should've told me about it once you knew about this?" Sang-Mi cried out, "You talk about trust so easily then why didn't you tell me about this whole charade before the photos of you cozying it up with that girl spread everywhere across Korea!?"
"Didn't you trust me enough?"
There was silence and this time it sounded like it was Leeteuk who was choking up a sob.
"I didn't think that the photos would be spread everywhere and I didn't think that it would actually look like that…," he explained slowly, regretting the decision of not telling her when he really had felt like it.
"Well, it is what it looks like, isn't it?" she said, voice trembling, "Tell me these are fakes, Jungsoo-sshi and we'll forget we ever had this conversation. But you'd better be honest with me for 'what is a relationship without trust right'?"
"They aren't fakes, Sang-Mi-ah," he whispered without hesitation. She was right he had to be honest.
"Why are you acting like that with her then?" she demanded, "Do you have to go so far as to wrap your arm around her or hold her that close or look at her like a lovesick puppy?"
The way you look at me….
"The producers told me to," Leeteuk cried out, angry that she didn't care that he was being honest, "I did what they told me to and I'm doing what you want me to right now. Being honest!"
Sang-Mi growled under her breath. She was so angry with Leeteuk she was practically spitting out fire from her nostrils.
"You think that just by being honest I'll forget everything?" Sang-Mi said as she wiped her eyes again, "Why do you have to go so far? Did you or did you not kiss her cheek? Please tell me this is a fake because if it isn't, I swear to God, I will go down over to SM Entertainment and kill you both for sure!"
"What do you want from me, woman? First, you want honesty and now you're asking for me to lie to you! Make up your mind already!"
Sang-Mi gasped at his confession. So it was true, the photo wasn't a fake. Leeteuk really did kiss Yoona on the cheek.
"How could you!?" she said, her eyes streaming down with tears, "I can't believe you, Jungsoo-sshi! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!"
"And how dare you tell me to make up my mind!?" she screamed into his ear, "You make up yours first! You wanna be with Yoona or me? YOU make up YOUR mind!!"
Click!~
With that she threw her phone across the wall where it lay on the ground in broken pieces of plastic and rubber and wires. She stared at it for a while before bursting into tears once more. Oh, but why did the heart have to hurt so much?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kibum walked around in his room contemplating what he should do. It wasn't like he hadn't fallen in love before; he had, with the pianist at his church none the less. Back then he had been so patient in his love. So eager and green he didn't know any better and before he knew it, it was over. He'd been heartbroken and devastated but his pride demanded that he didn't ask her why she'd dumped him. He was a good enough person, wasn't he? It's not just about his looks (which he has to admit that he is rather good looking) but he was also kind hearted and gentle and romantic. Women found him attractive, didn't they?
But this whole situation is different…This time; he is in love with someone else's girlfriend. And this time it would seem that his heart had no capacity to be patient like it had last time. It didn't feel as if it could wait for another five years much less a couple of weeks. It had been bleeding and bleeding continuously for weeks as he watched Leeteuk fall more and more in love with Sang-Mi.
He definitely couldn't wait any more! The others had given him their thoughts and advice and all of them were rooting for him to do the right thing. He knew they were right. It was time for him to tell his feelings to Sang-Mi and have her break him into a million pieces. His bleeding heart needed to be broken so that he'd be able to forget this tortured feeling.
Kibum got off the computer chair and got dressed with thoughts of Sang-Mi fleeting through his mind. He needed to tell her and this was the best time. He knew Leeteuk wasn't with her at that moment because he was out acting on a new drama series called Love Celebrity.
Kibum contemplated again about what was to come after he'd confessed. He'd tell her he loved her and she'd…
She'd look at him with loving eyes and lean into his face and kiss him fully on the lips and he'd embrace her and Leeteuk-hyung can just go and find some other girl, like maybe that Yoona chick he was working with.
Wait, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!!! What in the world was he thinking? He was thinking of things that were bound to never ever come true! Sang-Mi loved Leeteuk-hyung and Kibum loved his leader too. There was just no way he'd ever try to steal another man's woman! He wouldn't be able to live with himself afterwards. If what he'd imagined had truly come true then his heart would sing at the thought of earning Sang-Mi's love but after it sang, he would be so drowned in guilt at the thought of stealing his hyung's girlfriend, he'd probably go jump off a bridge somewhere!
He wanted to be free of such conflicting emotions. Kibum always liked his peace and quiet. That was why when all the members were busy being loud and noisy and crazy, he'd still maintain his cool calm persona. But this new emotion that was seizing him was knocking him back like a tidal wave and he just couldn't take it anymore. He was going to tell Sang-Mi and to hell with what will happen to his heart.
Kibum took the maltese cross he had round his neck and put it to his lips, kissing it gently. He prayed he'd do the right thing. Only, why did the heart have to hurt so much?
~*~*~*~*~*~
It was somewhere within two hours of Sang-Mi's call with Leeteuk that she received another call from Super Junior member. This time it was Kibum.
"Kibum?" she asked, despite her stuffy nose (hours of crying) she still sounded surprised to hear him, "What's up? How come you're calling? How'd you get my number?"
"Uh, hey," Kibum had replied, "Can we meet up somewhere…? Just go somewhere to talk?"
Sang-Mi was even more surprised at this. She was shocked actually that Kibum even had her number and that he wanted to TALK! It was crazy because before this out of all thirteen members of Super Junior, Kibum was the one who was most distant and aloof to her. He was always standing so far away from her and he never even smiled at her before much less talk to her. Oh, okay, sure they've exchanged a few words here and there, a simple "Hey!" or "What's up?" and "Annyunghaseyo!" but that was about it. He rarely smiled at her and she had always had the feeling that he was the member that disliked her most.
"Kibum, I dunno…," she said, doubtfully, "I mean I don't feel like going anywhere right now. I just wanna curl up in bed…(and die)."
"Please, this is important to me!" Kibum pleaded urgently. He needed her to say yes so that he could just get this whole sick thing over and done with.
"I promise I won't bother you again after this! Just once, humor me!"
She didn't know what made her say yes; maybe it was because she felt so tired of crying and feeling like a baby. She wanted to be strong. She was strong!
"Okay," she said into the phone.
"Great, thanks, you don't know how much this means to me!" Kibum said thankfully.
They decided to meet at Yeouido Park at a little bench beside a hot dog stand. Sang-Mi didn't really bother to dress up; she merely had on her grey sweater which was kind of tattered and her dirty sneakers on. The only nice thing she had on was her pretty pink fluffy jacket which just happened to be new.
She walked all the way Yeouido Park all the while thinking to herself. It was a good feeling to be walking out on a cold night like this. It was cold but the fresh air and the exercise made her feel a whole lot better. Walking always seemed to clear her thoughts a bit.
"Hey, Sang-Mi," Kibum called out, smiling slightly as he caught sight of her. He stood up from the bench and waved at her.
Sang-Mi waved back she didn't feel like returning his smile.
"You wanna sit down?" Kibum asked as he gestured towards the bench.
"Yeah."
She sat down next to Kibum and there was a long moment of total awkward silence. Neither knew exactly what to say to the other. Sang-Mi's thoughts just basically ran along the lines of "Okay, so what're we supposed to talk about again? Can I go home now?" while Kibum's thoughts were "What should I say? How do I start?"
"Err, so, I have something to tell you," Kibum started awkwardly. He fidgeted slightly.
"I should warn you that this is something you might not want to hear," he continued eyes shifting back and forth to her and his hands. Sang-Mi wondered what this was all about.
"I'm sorry if this offends you but I cannot stand it any longer!" he said, "I'm in love with you and I don't think I can control my feelings any longer!"
Sang-Mi gasped and stared at him in wonderment. She just couldn't believe her ears. Kibum the cold, aloof guy was actually confessing his love towards her??? Was this even real?
"At first, it was just merely a sort of attraction. I think you're just so pretty that I couldn't help being attracted to you. Then as the weeks went on I just fell in love with you! I know it's wrong and I know I'm betraying Leeteuk by confessing this but I just…"
He looked away, biting his lip in frustration. Sang-Mi could only wait for his next words.
"I love you. I love your smile, your laugh, your grace; everything. I know you won't accept me and I don't even want you too but sometimes…Sometimes I wish I'd met you before Leeteuk-hyung did!"
Sang-Mi stared at him in silence as she thought over his words. Kibum, the one who was most distant, was in love with her. Kibum the one who tried his best to avoid her was in love with her. Kibum was cute but was Leeteuk's dongsaeng and therefore makes him a certified grade A taboo. Kibum loved her? Her?
Whoa. This has got to be a dream! It's a total nightmare! Soon I'll wake up and everything will go back to normal again.
"It's not a dream. This is real, Sang-Mi," Kibum said quietly. He was gazing straight into her eyes.
Wait, had she said it out loud? Shit, her mind must be going crazy!
"Kibum," she spoke, "You can't love me like this. You don't even know me. We barely speak with each other let alone know each other. Trust me, what you're feeling, this isn't love."
Kibum stared at his hands again and then lifted his gaze to look at her. He had on a tortured expression and he looked like a knife had been plunged to his heart. Sang-Mi couldn't help but feel pity.
"How do you know that the feelings I feel for you aren't genuine?" Kibum whispered hoarsely, "How can you know? Can you see through my heart? I feel nothing but pure love for you and that is why I came here to tell you…"
Sang-Mi sighed. She had a feeling that this was going to be a long night.
"So what do you want me to do now?" she asked, firmly, "Now that you have told me, what you expected me to do, Kibum? Forget Jungsoo-sshi and fall into your arms like in a fairy tale? I love Jungsoo-sshi and I could never betray him…"
Even after what he's done to me…
"I know that you won't love me in return but I just felt that I had to tell you…"
"Well, you have," Sang-Mi said quickly. It wasn't that she didn't pity Kibum but this gave her a bad feeling and she suddenly realized that it was a dangerous thing to be in a park alone at night with a man who was madly in love with her but a man who wasn't her boyfriend. It was going n bad direction, this whole situation and Sang-Mi didn't like where they were headed.
"Kibum, I have to go," she said abruptly as she got up from the bench, "I hope you'll get over me and fall for another woman, one who is even better than me."
Kibum saw her get up and suddenly his heart didn't think about doing the right thing any more. She was leaving and so quickly as well as if, she could never even think of being a second longer with him. The pain in his heart was severe and he decided he needed to ease it.
Without thinking much, he grabbed Sang-Mi's wrist and pulled her to him. She didn't even have time to protest when she suddenly felt his lips on hers. He claimed her lips with a fierce passionate kiss.
Sang-Mi was too stunned to react at first and when it finally dawned on her that this wasn't Leeteuk she was kissing, she felt like pulling away but he held her firm. She struggled a bit and he drew his tongue on her bottom lip lazily and it made her tremble and forget some things.
Sang-Mi felt her knees go a bit weak. Wow, Kibum was a good kisser and she liked his kisses. Her heart began to hammer in her chest as she briefly thought "To hell with Jungsoo-sshi, after all he was the one who went and cuddled up to that Yoona girl!"
It was when that thought passed her mind that she finally snapped out of it. Sang-Mi quickly pulled herself away from Kibum, pushing away from him and glaring at him.
"How dare you kiss me? I told you I'm with Leeteuk and you still can't accept that!"
Kibum tried to pull her to him again. He couldn't think about what she was saying because all he felt was the pleasure of their kiss.
CRACK!
The sound of skin against skin rang across the park. Sang-Mi's hand was still raised in the air as she glared daggers at Kibum. He'd stepped beyond the line already.
"Pull yourself together, Kibum!" she said sharply, sounding like stern mother or older sister, "How can you live with yourself if you do this to Leeteuk-hyung!? I am in love with Jungsoo-sshi and you'll have to step back and move on!"
Kibum felt the sharp sting of her slap on the left side of his cheek and this time her words finally went through his head. She was right. He couldn't ever betray Leeteuk-hyung.
"Go…" he said, hoarsely as tears brimmed in his eyes, "Go to Leeteuk-hyung! I can't bear to see you any longer!"
Sang-Mi watched in sympathy as Kibum sat back down slowly onto the bench as he buried his head in his hands, his body jerking slightly as he wept.
"Goodbye, Kibum," she said softly, "I hope you'll find the one who will love you!"
With that she turned on her heel and went to look for her beloved.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Ding Dong!~
The bell of their dorm rang and Leeteuk hurriedly made his way to the door to open and see who it was. Sometimes they did get some ELFs wanting to see the guys in person but this time it wasn't an ELF.
He was at a loss for words when he saw her but when she flew into his arms, he didn't object.
"I'm sorry!" she croaked out, "I love you and I forgive you for those photos but I've done something terrible as well! Please say you love me and that you'll hear me out!"
Leeteuk who had been in such an awful state of guilt and sorrow was just so glad to have in his arms again he decided that he didn't even need to know what the terrible thing she did, he'd still just forgive her anyway.
She was there in his arms now, weeping silently.
His Sang-Mi.
"Let's go inside!"
She flipped onto Leeteuk's bed and smiled up at him.
"Jungsoo-sshi…Another man kissed me today…"she started. It was best to be honest about these type of things.
"I didn't want him to but he grabbed me and kissed me and when I pulled away he still made a move on me and that was when I snapped and slapped him hard on the face."
Leeteuk listened quietly. He believed her. What was a relationship without trust. He knew she loved him and he loved her too.
"It's okay," Leeteuk said as he held up a finger to her lips.
"I forgive you if you'll forgive me…"
"I forgive you, Jungsoo-sshi…"
He leaned in slowly with his hands on either side of her face gently holding her head in place. Hefelt her soft lips beneath him, heard her little sigh of pleasure and grinned to himself.
He pushed her onto her back so that now he could press his whole upper torso onto her slender body and properly feel all her womanly curves. Sang-Mi unlike many Korean women was pretty curvaceous and had lovely gently flaring hips which always grabbed Leeteuk's attention.
Even then as he was kissing her, he'd had his hands firmly grasped her hips and grind himself to her. She squealed and he proceeded to trail his kisses to her neck, sucking and licking the soft supple skin roughly, leaving behind dark lovebites.
Sang-Mi blushed furiously when he did this but she had done it before with Leeteuk once or twice before so she told herself that this wasn't anything new.
It was then that she suddenly felt his hand travel from her hips to her sides, fingers on the undersides of her breasts. The touch on her sensitive skin made her whimper and she immediately clutched onto Leeetuk's broad shoulders.
"Shh," he whispered huskily, "No need to do that. You're safe with me. I'd never hurt you."
He proceeded to gently massage her breast and this earned him a soft moan. Sang-Mi leaned her head to his shoulder and sighed as he continued to tease her.
It was then when someone else burst into the room to ruin their fun. The lovers merely stared in disbelief to stunned to move.
"Aha!" Heechul cried out triumphantly, "See what did I tell ya! There they are the lovebirds doing it right in the middle of the bed!"
Dong Hae, Kyuhyun and Eunhyuk stared at Leeteuk and Sang-Mi in the loving position with their eyes wide.
"Wow, Eeteukie-hyung," Eunhyuk muttered.
"Didn't know you were such a man-whore…" Dong Hae said.
"Way to go, Leeteuk-hyung!" Kyuhyun cried out happily.
Heechul clapped his hands furiously, this evil grin plastered on his pretty face.
"Now that we've settled that, can we join in!?" he asked slyly, his eyes narrowing the way a cat saw a canary.
Leeteuk stared at him as if he'd grown a second head then he quickly got up and grabbed Heechul by the arm only to push, struggle and throw them out of his room.
"Pesky bunch of bed wetters!" he growled as he pushed Heechul out, "I can't wait when the time comes for you guys to have your respective partners for me to go in and spoil the fun!"
"Pleae, Leeteukie-hyung!" Heechul pleaded as he struggled, "Just once, a threesome- no wait, a fivesome would be totally cool!"
"Stop your sick sense of humor and go play with Heebumie or something!" Leeteuk said as he slammed the door in Heechul's, Eunhyuk's, Dong Hae's and Kyuhyun's face.
The lovers were just about to kiss again when they heard a loud bang on the door.
"MEANIES!" Heechul cried through the door.
The lovers couldn't help but laugh at their friend.
