Breakaway
Sam sat in her driveway, staring at the box in the passenger seat where Jack had placed it. Their goodbye had been awkward. It hadn't been so hard in a long time, but tonight, it was. Jack had fiddled with the hair at the nape of his neck and Sam had chewed on her lip. When an airman on watch had finally made his rounds close to where they were standing, they had waved goodbye to each other even though a few feet apart and parted ways.
Now Sam was reliving that same awkwardness with a box. A stupid, meaningless box that she couldn't bring herself to pick up, which for all intensive purposes was holding another man's junk. But the objects inside were not meaningless to her. Books, pictures, spare uniforms, and other items that were no threat to security, all stood for something she could no longer have. Something that made her who she was. For the first time that day, Sam let a tear find its way down her check. Then another followed it. Soon enough, a countless number of tears were rolling down her cheeks as she leaned forward and held the steering wheel, willing it to come to life and hold her in return.
It would be another half an hour before Sam made it into her house, the box still in the passenger seat, and fell into a dreamless sleep on her couch; still in her day clothes.
Jack made it home that night in record time. He was doing a good job of living in denial that day, at least after kicking a small trash receptacle around, and cursing it under the name of Kinsey. He wasn't going to let them see him sweat. He wasn't going to let on, that at least in some small way, what they had been punished for was based in some part on truth. A truth that they could never understand.
He had brushed it off. Locked it away. And then they sent him the stack of personnel folders. The note on top read simply, 'Please find a replacement by the end of the week.'
"End of the week? I couldn't find a replacement for Carter in a million years, how am I supposed to do that in a week?" He grumbled to himself. He flicked through the names. This group of people had already been picked through for him. This wasn't like when he had to find someone to take Daniel's place when he had ascended. This was a carefully weeded out selection. Further punishment from the looks of things. Not one of these people was up to Carter's abilities, and more than that, they were all scientists, the worst kind in Jack's mind.
"Go through these for me will ya?"
Daniel looked up from his book to the stack of folders that had just been strewn across his desk, and then to Jack. "What are they?"
"Well, according to our lovely superiors, one of them is our new team member. Pick one."
"Wait, whoa, you want me to pick one?"
"Yes, Daniel, I want you to pick one. I'm going home."
"Don't you think you should…?"
Jack was already walking out the door. "No."
That night as Sam Carter fell asleep; Jack O'Neill was just getting home. He took his frustration out on four bottles of beer, and then fell asleep on his own couch.
The angry ringing of the telephone woke Sam. Her eyes hurt, and her temples throbbed. She caught her balance as she stood and realized that she had never made it out of the attire she had come home in. Making her way into the kitchen, she pulled the receiver off the hook and leaned against the refrigerator.
"Hello?"
"Hey Sam…I didn't wake you did I?"
"Pete…no, no I was…"
"Good. Say, what do you think about lunch today, huh? I heard about this great little place down by the theatre." She should have known he was on the other line. He always called on her day off. She had twenty-one of those days now.
On cue, Sam's stomach growled ferociously. "Um…yeah, lunch sounds good."
"Pick you up in an hour?"
Sam ran her hand through her messy hair. "Better make it two."
For once in the conversation Pete seemed to pick up on her tone. The cheerful spark that usually lit up her end of the discussion wasn't there. "You okay? You sound a little…off."
Sam pretended not to hear a word he had said. "I'm gonna get ready. See you in two hours!" The added pep she had tacked on made her feel guilty as she hung up the phone before he could say anything else. Three weeks, and she should probably tell him before she left.
"Sam, what's wrong?" Pete laid his fork down on his plate and looked with great concern across the small restaurant table.
Shaking her head from her daze she had to try and remember what he had just asked her. "Nothing, just…tired I guess." It was a lame excuse of a lie and she knew it.
"You sure that's it?
"Yeah." She shook her head and tried to laugh it off. "Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know Sam, you seem…different. Did something happen at work that you aren't supposed to talk about?"
Damn him. Detectives always had to dig deeper, why couldn't he have just let it go? She tried not to sound angry. "More like something I don't want to talk about." They had already discussed his inability to leave things alone, maybe that would remind him.
Pete sat back in his chair. He knew about what had happened to her best friend only months before, Janet. "Did…is everyone okay?" He had stated it with such trepidation that Sam worried about what she had just said.
"Yes, God yes, no nothing like that…" And yet to Sam, it was like that. The powers that be, politicians and oversight committees, had killed something alright. They had killed a piece of her that couldn't possibly be brought back. A piece of her spirit, that thing that made her who she was. That was what made her so different now sitting across the table from the man she continuously tried to tell herself was the one for her.
"Good." Pete smiled. "The way you talk about the people you work with, I mean…it feels like I know them too ya know? I'd hate to think anything happened to one of them." Why did he have to be so compassionate now?
"Nothing happened to them." She smiled weakly.
He caught the expression and his own grew grave. "Did something happen to you?"
"Can we talk about this later?"
"Sam, if something…"
"It's nothing you can fix. Let it go." She was cold and she knew it. But she wasn't going to let her emotions come out again as they had last night. Not when there were other people around. However, as cold as her voice had been, her eyes were still full of regret, for more than what she was saying. "I'm sorry Pete, it's just, I really don't want to talk about it here."
He shrugged it off. "It's fine. We'll talk later."
When they finally made it back to Sam's house, she went into her kitchen to put on a pot of coffee.
Pete came in behind her and propped back against the counter. "So…what was it that you didn't want to talk about around other people?"
"My job, basically."
"It's always something to do with your job isn't it?" He gave a wry smile that only served to irritate her.
"Not anymore."
Confusion blushed him. "What do you mean?"
"Basically…" Sam winced with embarrassment. "I got fired yesterday."
"Fired?" He pushed off the counter. "Why they hell would you get fired?"
"That part isn't important." She shot back quickly. "Let's just say…for reasons beyond my control."
"Sam…I'm sorry…I know how much this job means to you…."
"Do you?" She cocked her head, still looking at the coffee. "I'm sorry Pete, I know you think you know, but…unless you've done the things I've done…I don't think anyone could ever appreciate it as much as someone who's done it."
"Well, I've seen some of what you do…it was…intense."
Sam finally turned from the coffee pot with a pang of hurt from remembering what he was talking about. "You saw what you saw because you didn't trust me."
"You should have told me something, like you should have told me something before agreeing to go out to lunch like everything was fine."
"You couldn't tell from my voice that everything wasn't fine?" She waved her hands for emphasis.
"Look…I don't want to add to…but hey this could be a good thing." Pete tried to reason.
"How?" Sam wobbled her head and the impossibility of his statement.
"Well, I mean, you could start over; come back to Denver with me…"
Sam's eyes grew wide. Could he really be thinking that way at a time like this? "It's a little soon to be thinking about that, and besides, I can't."
"Why not? There's nothing left for you here." And with those few words, he had done it. Nothing? Sam couldn't push it aside, nothing. They weren't nothing. None of it was nothing. How could he dismiss such a big part of her like it was nothing.
She crossed her arms. "I lost my position at the SGC but I'm still part of the Air Force, Pete. I was transferred, to Nevada."
Pete slapped his hands on his legs. "Then quit."
"I can't quit."
"Why not?"
"Because I won't. Quitting would show them that they've won. And I can't turn my back on the program altogether, not if I can still be involved in some way."
"I don't understand why, if they wanted to fire you, they just transferred you, that isn't being fired…and you weren't demoted…?"
Sam replied to quickly. "It's punishment." As soon as the words were out she winced and turned away. Why couldn't he let things go?
"For what? They have to give you a reason, I don't care how top secret your job is, there had to be some written explanation."
She turned to find a cup. "You wouldn't like it…"
"Tell me." It came out like an order.
Her voice was a dead monotone. "Accusation of an inappropriate relationship with a superior officer."
"Accusation?"
Sam swung around so quickly that Pete stepped back. "Because NOTHING happened." Then she stormed out of the kitchen and into the living room.
Pete followed quickly after. "Well something had to have happened for them to take you off your team…oh my God." He stopped in his tracks, and waited for her eyes to turn and meet his. "You and…what's his name…your boss, O'Neill?"
"NOTHING HAPPENED!" Sam was crying now, in front of him, she was crying, she swore she wouldn't.
A look of hurt crossed Pete as he whispered, "It was him."
Sam's right hand flew into the air for emphasis. "It was completely bogus crap, they wanted to punish us, and so they made up some story that couldn't be proved, but…"
Cop-Pete spoke now. Calm. Too calm, so calm that it was unsettling. "If it couldn't be proved then why are you still off of your team?"
Sam brushed away her tears. "Because in their words it couldn't be disproved either."
"Why couldn't it be disproved? Shouldn't I be enough evidence to the fact that it isn't true?"
"You shouldn't have to be my proof…"
He cut her off with another question. "Why haven't you just gone forward and said something, if there's no truth to the allegations then…wait…there is truth to them isn't there?"
"What the hell are you talking about Pete?"
"I'm not saying anything happened, but…could it have? Given the opportunity?"
"NO!"
"Sam…"
"It doesn't matter, because nothing DID. And here I am, at least until I have to be in Nevada next month."
"And you'd rather be in Nevada than in Denver with me?"
"Please don't make this about you." She begged.
"I thought this was about us."
"And you've yet to mention coming to Nevada." She retorted angrily.
"Sam, Colorado Springs is one thing, but Nevada is…"
"A long way from home?"
"Sam…"
"Look Pete, maybe we should take some time to think about this…we can talk it over after you've had some time…"
"You've already made your decision haven't you?"
Sam starred at him for the longest time, resolution was there, and it was saying it that took time. "Yes."
"You're going to Nevada."
"Yes."
"If I'm ever in Nevada, I'll be sure to stop by." And with that, Pete let himself out of her house.
Sam made her way to her couch for the second time in two days to fall asleep crying. But she wasn't given the time. Her phone started ringing again. Sam stared at the machine and waited for it to pick up. Pete, she thought. He was already trying to negotiate again. She heard her own voice greet the caller. Then the tone echoed through the house, then his voice.
"Um…hey Carter…guess I missed you…I was just…um…call me if you get a chance."
Sam reached for the phone, and it clattered as she fumbled with it. "Sir?"
But he was gone.
A/N: First off, thank you all SOOOO much for your reviews. I wish I could have sent you each an individual thank you, but my school email is down, so I switched to another server, but once again THANK YOU.
As far as the Pete-Breakup, I have never had a mature breakup...ever...and so I don't have much experience for which to write one from...so hopefully this should be the only weak chapter. Had this come off like one of my breakups...yeah, rating for language would have been up and other such issues lol.
Hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless, thank you for reading.
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