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Chapter three: My Fault


"How?" Puck questioned. Rachel looked over at him and shook her head, as she slowly closed her eyes as if recalling the memory. Slowly she clutched the gun closer to her and breathed in deep.

"I was six. She was ten. We were playing over there." The tiny girl pointed to the side of the bridge, an easy place to fall if you aren't careful.

Rachel wiped a few stray tears from her face, eyes still closed tightly. "I fell in. I was being stupid, and fell in. She jumped in after me. But she couldn't swim. My cousin got me to shore, but hit her head on something. To this day I'm still not sure what. But if I wouldn't have been stupid, and stayed away from the edge like she told me, she'd still be alive." She finished her story, walking closer to the edge where she had fallen, so many years before.

"Is that why you're here Berry? Only because you feel guilty about your cousin?" He asked. She shook her head no, then stared at him for a few moments. Silence added and eerie feeling to the place that was already getting dark and creepy.

"Did you know that my mom doesn't even want me?" She asked. Puck gave her a shocked expression.

Slowly he walked towards her. "What do you mean she doesn't want you?" He wondered. She laughed a dark laugh.

"It means...that...Santana is right. No body, including my own family, will ever want me." Rachel stated with a head nod. It made Puck so mad to think, that someone had said it enough times to where Rachel believed it.

"That's not true...Santana is a lying bitch." he reminded her. She just laughed once again. He couldn't help but wonder why she kept laughing.

"You know Noah...this isn't how I planed on spending my last hours." She explained. His face fell in shock. He watched as she moved the gun a little ways away from her chest. She spun it in her fingers a few times, then stared at it like it was a lifeline.

"Your not going to die." He demanded. Rachel shot him a rude glance. She walked towards him and smiled a hurt, scared smile.

"You don't make decisions for me." She reminded him.

Puck couldn't believe some of the things he was hearing. "Berry. Set the gun down. Let's leave. I am making this decision for you, because I...I.. I can't see my life without you in it." He told her. He wasn't sure where his little confession came from, but he knew he actually felt it. Rachel giggled.

"This is all so funny. Do you think Glee Club will perform at my funeral? Do you think Santana will sing, trying to hide her guilt? Do you think Finn will sit there and sing, all the while wondering what might've been, if he wouldn't have broken my heart? Do you think Kurt will sing, tears slowly falling down his face, all the while, he feels guilty for constantly knocking my style and making me feel bad about myself? No? I didn't think so either. No one, will feel guilty. Not anyone. Everyone will go in there, and think that they are in the clear. But I tell you what Noah Puckerman, you tell them. You tell them that I'll be watching them. The rest of there lives, I'll be that shame...that secret shame you want to hide, but always ends up finding its way to the surface." Her voice was cold and shaky, almost emotionless.

It scared Puck. "Don't do this Rachel. You don't want to die. Not now. You have your whole life ahead of you." He tried to convince. She just shook her head and cried.

"Lying isn't helping anyone..." She said calmly as she slowly raised the gun to her temple.


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