Disclaimer- I didn't own Twilight, I don't own Twilight, and I won't own Twilight… anytime soon….
Stephenie Meyer: What?
Me: What? Asks innocently
SM: I thought you said something…
Me: No…
SM: okay…
Me: walks away quickly
Edward is sitting in his room looking at his CD's. Bella is on a shopping trip with Alice.
Edward- YESSSSS!! Bella didn't find my Janet Jackson CD.
Henryy Pottah comes out of Edward's closet, holding a pen out in front of him.
Edward- Henryy?! What the Carlisle were you doing in my closet?!
Henryy- Just video taping you. Bella's orders.
Edward- What?! You, a wizard, takes orders from a human?!
Henryy- UH!! I am NOT a wizard right now!! I am a follower of the great Isabella, leader of all things clumsy and werewolf like.
Edward- WEREWOLF LIKE?! What about VAMPIRE like?!
Henryy- She said something about Jacob having the whole package.
Edward- starts to laugh maniacally
Henryy- Okay. I am OUTTA hea!!
Edward- JA gasp SP gasp ER!! Gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp, gasp.
Henryy- Yo, Dawg. That's enuff gasps, foo!!
Jasper comes into room, smiling evilly.
Jasper- What?? So now your all gangster?
Henryy- No.
Edward- But you were just talking like a gangster.
Henryy- No I wasn't, you guys are just imagining things.
Edward- Okayyyy.
Jasper- I'm leaving now.
Henryy- Yeah. Me too. Edward is such a party pooper!! GOSH!!
Edward- What did I do?!
Jasper- What didn't you do? GOSH!! Let's blow this Popsicle stand.
Henryy- Okay.
Jasper and Henryy go into Edward's closet.
Edward- Why do people keep going into my closet?!
Jasper- It's not JUST a closet Edward!! It's a magical portal to the next world!!
Edward- OH!! What's the next world?!
Henryy-… Bella's closet…
Edward- roars in fury how long have you guys been using my closet to get to Bella's room?!
Jasper- Actually, this is our first time. Jacob Black showed us how to use it.
Henryy- OH!! It also takes you to a place called Hogwarts.
Jasper- OHHHH!! You mean Logdarts!!
Henryy-…no… I mean Hogwarts…
Jasper- Eh, whatever.
Edward- Well!! Let's go to Hogwarts!!
Henryy- Why not Bella's closet, mate? I mean, you guys arein loooovvveee (says in mocking tone)
Edward- Okay first of all; weird. Secondly; I've always wanted to go to Hogwarts!!
Jasper- Do you even know what Hogwarts is?!
Edward- … No…
Jasper- Ugh. So typical. Men.
Henryy- Okay. First of all; you don't know what Hogwarts is either.
Jasper- looks down embarrassed
Henryy- Secondly; you can't say men in that tone, because you're a man too. And last, but most definitely not least, third; Edward is not just a man. He's a God. A Greek God, to be exact.
Random Fan Girls- whistles and shouts WHOOOO!! YESSSS!!
Jasper- HEY!! I'm a Greek God too!!
RFG- Yeah, but Edward is hotter than you. We're sorry Jazz. Some how the RFG all knew what they were going to say, and said it at the same time.
Jasper- cries while on knees, reaching arms to the sky. WHYYYYYYY?!
Henryy- OKAAAAYYYYYY. Helps Jasper up. You guys must be banished. So sorry… Points wand at RFG BANISHAMIRO!! (A/N: I made that up… lol…)
RFG are still standing there with puzzled expressions, when a girl poofs out of nowhere with purple smoke.
Girl- Ello. Blimey. Where the ell am I??
Henryy- HER- MEANIE!!
Girl, supposedly Her-Meanie- Henryy?? Henryy Pottah? Where are we??
Henryy- You won't believe it if I tell you…
Her- Meanie- Try me.
Henryy- shudders and mumbles under breathe: I've been there before, and I DON'T want to go back. Shudders again.
Her-Meanie doesn't seem to notice, but of course with Edward and Jasper's extreme hearing, they start to snicker.
Her- Meanie- What are you laughing at??
Edward- turns around to look at Her- Meanie. What? Oh… Um… Nothing?
Her- Meanie- is now dazzled
Jasper- Let me walk you to the closet Her- Meanie…
Jasper takes Her- Meanie's hand. She is now re-dazzleded. He leads her into the closet. Edward and Henryy watch them go into the closet and hear:
Jasper- What the- HEYY!! Don't touch me !#!! LET GO!!
Her- Meanie- growls…
Jasper- What the eff!! Did you just growl at me?!
Her- Meanie- I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE!!
Jasper- screams like a girl. What is that?!
Her- Meanie- My vampdar!!
Jasper- And what the ell is a Vampdar?!
Her- Meanie- A Vampire Radar. GET OVER HERE!!
A ripping sound is heard.
Jasper- screams like a girl again. Alice is going to kill me!! … well you, BUT THAT"S NOT THE POINT!! This was my best designer shirt!! OHHHHHHHH… YOU ARE GOING TO DIE !#!!
Her- Meanie- screams like a guy… I know… creepy…
Jasper steps out of the closet.
Henryy and Edward- …
Jasper- I wouldn't go in there if I were you.
There is a puff of purple smoke. Jasper looks back into the closet.
Jasper- Oh, good. She's gone… so is the blood… I MEAN BOOK!! Laughs nervously.
Henryy- Eets Oh- keey. She was annoee ing anee wayeees.
Edward- Why are you talking like Fleur?!
Henryy- Who the ell ees deeeseeee Fleurrrrr?!
Edward- The one that talks like Deeseee.
Henryy- Ohhhh. You mean Flour?!
Edward- YEAH!!
Henryy- She has been teaching me some French says 'French' with a French accent.
Jasper- Okay. Well, stop. You're failing miserably.
Henryy- Okay… looks sad.
RFG- says to reader of this story. We know. You forgot about us. We're sneaky like that. Anyways; AWWWWWWWW!! Talks to readers again. We're saying 'AWW' about Henryy being sad.
Jasper- looks annoyed Will you guys just go away?!
RFG- NO!
Jasper- Did you guys happen to see Her- Meanie… fall…??
RFG- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! All look scared.
Henryy- Okay, since my last spell didn't work, I will just have to kill you.
RFG- Oh. This should be good since you're not even a real wizard. Just a poor excuse for Harry Potter. The greatest wizard who ever lived, and defeated Voldemort!!
Henryy- Voldemort?! OHH…. You mean Voldey- Mart!! And, who the ell is Harry Potter?! And I am a real wizard. Just ask Bumblewhore. (A/N: Dumbledore, and I know… that's why this is rated T…)
Henryy points his wand at the RFG again
Henryy- Padava Ledavra!!
All RFG's fall
down dead.
Henryy, Edward, and Jasper- YESSSS!! They all high five each other, and then step into the closet.
Henryy- TO HOGWARTS!!
REVIEW!! They make me happy… smiles. I need ideas!!
