Post "Three Hearts". Please note: No raccoons were harmed in the writing of this story. They weren't even mentioned.

Disclaimer: Not mine.


Chapter Three: "The Matrix"

"I know that you're afraid... you're afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell you how it's going to begin." - "The Matrix"

.

She was waiting for him in the parking lot. "Did you like it?" she asked, smile wide and beautiful.

"It was another box."

"And?"

"I put it back on the cabinet."

"Really?"

"Really."

"But why..."

"You told me once that you got me something I always wanted. I told you, it really doesn't get better than that because..."

"Because?" she was still smiling, eager to hear what he was going to say.

He sighed because he wasn't eagar to share. "It's nothing. Good night, Kens."

"It's not nothing. Because?"

"Because," he looked down and before blurting out "I don't think anyone ever cared enough to give me something I always wanted. I got nice Christmas and birthday gifts in the past - my Mom tried, she really did. But there wasn't much when my Dad was around and there was less when he was gone. So she got me things she thought the other kids had figuring that was what I wanted."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You learn quick not to get disappointed."

It was her turn to look down. "And you're afraid the gift is going to disappoint you. I get it."

He smiled and tilted her head up. "No, you don't. Whatever is in the box doesn't matter because it's from you. And you went out and got me something I always wanted. That's more than I ever thought I'd get in this life," he told her, leaning over and giving her a quick peck on the cheek. "Thanks for the gift, Kensi. This time it really is the thought that counts. It's the best gift I've ever gotten."

He was opening the door to his car when she called to him. "What about this year? I missed this year being away and everything. I'll pick up dinner and we'll eat at your place. I haven't seen Monty since I got back."

"Mel's?"

"Of course. I'll be at your place in twenty."

Thirty minutes later, their pants were down, her shirt was next to the bags of take out on his coffee table and he was buried deep inside her. Thirty minutes after that, he nuked the fish and they ate in bed. She left just before six and showed up at work in a different shirt. Maybe they could handle this.

The next night, he picked up dinner and went to her place. She was watching "American Idol" this season even though nobody else was. While she wasn't a fan of country music, she liked Keith Urban and she thought Harry Connick Jr. knew what he was talking about. Deeks thought it was all rather dull. Five minutes after the program recapped the numbers to call, she was whispering in his ear all the things she wanted to do to him while he was trying to get his hand between her and her Calvins. It was his turn to leave just before the sunrise.

The following two nights they sat in the Cadillac watching a storage facility in Culver City waiting for Petty Officer who was running guns with Southland Kings. Ah, memories, Deeks thought. Once Petty Officer Vargas was in custody with two well tatted up gang members, the sleepovers resumed. There was no talking about a future, no conversations about plans. Just TV and food to the start the evening's festivities at her place with the TV section of the night optional at his place.

He was sending his first of the month review of his NCIS duties to Bates when Kensi stopped by his desk.

"What are you doing for dinner Sunday?"

"I have a feeling you're going to tell me, aren't you."

"Well, my Mom and Bruce want to go to dinner since I've been on a six month assignment out of the country."

"You didn't tell Julia..."

"No, and you won't either. I spent six months on a typical NCIS assignment. She knows I've been stationed in Japan in the past and she think I was there again."

"Kens, she's your mother, you should..."

"Not worry her about things I don't want her to worry about. Look if this is going a problem for you..."

"What's for dinner?"

"Bruce has reservations at The Little Door. Mom likes the Sunday French Moroccan menu." Bruce being Bruce Feldman, Julia's investment banker/CEO second husband.

"So board shorts and flip flops are out."

"If you don't want to go..."

"What time do I need to be there?" he asked.

"Thank you," her smile was genuine and much like her, stunning. "I'll pick you up at five."

And she did. He wore his dark blue suit with the vest and a white shirt sans tie. His shoes were even shined. Kensi wore a tan, sleeveless dress and patent leather sling backs with a peep toe. He would have been fine skipping dinner, parking the car and carefully removing the dress but never taking off the shoes. Oh well, there was always time after dinner.

As they turned pulled up to the valet, Deeks thought about where they were a month ago. And what was going on a year ago. It was a very odd year.

Dinner went well. Kensi's only mention of being away was to say she was happy to be home because she missed everyone. Bruce visited Japan regularly and was sorry he didn't know she was there. They could have had dinner. Kensi tried to explain that she was working but Bruce was then talking about great places to eat in Toyko and a cruise he and Julia took from Shanghai to Tokyo. Deeks was grateful for the topic change.

Julia was hoping Kensi could join her for a long girls weekend away - perhaps in Napa for the 4th of July Music Festival. Kensi hedged, reminding her mother of the demands of her job. Julia was properly supportive. Conversations turned to food, sports - Bruce was a Lakers season ticket holder and very unhappy with the state of his team. Deeks joked that this may be the first time in his life he was ever happy to be a Clippers fan.

Kensi and Julia visited the ladies room as Bruce reviewed the bill. "It was great of you to come with Kensi," he told Deeks.

"It was nice to be invited. This place is amazing."

"Julia loves it here. Anything I can do to make her happy makes me happy. Having Kensi here for this - Julia was so pleased this actually happened."

"She must have missed Kensi while she was out of the country."

"Not just that, we tried to arrange something like this on this weekend last year but Kensi was sent out of the country on a last minute assignment."

"I remember." Oh God, did he remember. Nukes, Iran, Russians - May was not a fun month last year.

"We had Kensi to the house for dinner - a chef friend prepared a lovely roast - in late April two years ago. I wanted Julia to have a little Mother's Day meal with her daughter but she felt there would be too much pressure so we planned late April that year and tried to move it to the first weekend in May last year. Really nothing worked planning-wise over the last year for Julia with Kensi. Kensi was gone for Mother's Day. Gone again on Thanksgiving and the holidays, missed Julia's birthday early last month too. I wanted to make this non-Mother's Day Mother's Day celebration nice. I planned to introduce Kensi to one of the up and coming bankers at my firm but Mark had a death in the family and had to go back to New York."

"Oh, that's too bad," Deeks didn't like where this conversation was going.

"Kensi mentioned that you were coming off a rough year and it might be nice to have a non-work evening out with you. The two of you seem to be great friends."

"Great friends," Deeks nodded, wanting desperately for Bruce to shut up. "And thank you again for the meal."

"My pleasure. Always happy to break bread with good people. Kensi mentioned you're an attorney."

"Yes," Deeks didn't want to know where this was going. "I worked in the Public Defender's Office before joining the LAPD."

"I'll be honest with you, I think it is great that both you and Kensi set aside financial goals to take up these careers in public service but sooner or later, Kensi needs to find someone who can take care of her."

"I think Kensi is happy with her career choices," Deeks said.

"Oh, I'm sure she is but look at that six month assignment she was sent on. No notice, according to Kensi..."

"Nope, none."

"Suddenly, she's in Japan for six months and while it is a great country with all the conveniences of home, she's still hours and hours away from her family and her friends."

"Yes, she was."

"Now, if she had options…a husband with a good job and a great income, I bet her bosses would think twice about making her spend months away from home if she could just walk away. My firm goes out of their way to make sure our staff has nights and weekends with their families. When I was coming up, I worked seventy hour weeks. It wasn't until I branched out on my own that I realized I just turned forty with few friends and fewer interests. I met Julia at a charity fundraiser for the homeless my firm was sponsoring. Suddenly, I was with a woman who showed me that there was more to life than work."

"Julia's great," Deeks said.

"The best thing in my life," he handed the check folder to the waiter. "And I want Kensi to find that. You wouldn't happen to have any law school buddies who are single, would you? Pepperdine men do well in this world."

"They do," Deeks mumbled just as he saw Kensi and Julia make their way back to the table.

"Ah, here's our beautiful company," Bruce said as he stood just before the women arrived. "I can always reschedule a dinner with Mark but if you know anyone, tell me and I'll have them checked out."

"Sounds good." Deeks also stood, wondering if Bruce had him checked out - sealed juvie record and all.

While waiting for the valet to bring them their cars, Kensi and Julia made plans for a shopping trip Memorial Day Weekend Saturday if NCIS business didn't pull her away. Kensi missed Bruce's little frown but Deeks didn't. He sort of agreed - Kensi deserves a day to shop with her Mom. Maybe it didn't make up for fifteen years apart but that would be how to start making their own memories now.

Bruce and Julia drove off in his Audi R Spyder ("Estoril Blue" according to Bruce) which Deeks figured cost more than everything in his apartment. Kensi's NCIS issued Caddy appeared.

"Dinner was amazing," Kensi said as she got into the driver's side of the SUV.

"It was. The place is amazing."

Once they pulled away from the restaurant, she asked, "your place or mine?"

"I have an early meeting with Bates tomorrow," not a lie, which he was happy about. "I was thinking about calling it a night."

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he said to her efforting a smile. "But do me a favor, don't wear those shoes ever again."

"I like them."

"So do I."

"Oh...oh," she laughed and flipped on the iPod setting. New Order entertained them - more her - for the rest of the ride home.

Once at his place, Deeks changed and tried to muster up the energy to take Monty for a walk. Bruce made some good points. Kensi should have opportunities to...and the banging on his front door started.

"Deeks, it's me, open up."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," he said as he walked to the door. Opening it, he found her dressed for dinner out but carrying the shoes. Jimmy Choos, he noted mentally. "I liked the shoes, I didn't want them," he told her.

She pushed right past him and into his apartment. "They're Hetty's, I borrowed them from work."

"OK. Did you forget something? Did I forget something? I was just about to walk Monty." Monty snoozing under his coffee table probably didn't help his argument.

"What did Bruce say to you?"

"Bruce?"

"Don't play dumb," she punctuated her thoughts by poking the shoe heels at him.

"Pass the butter. You're going to love the bass - which I did."

"So my Mother calling to apologize for Bruce asking you to set me up with your law school classmates since my planned date for the evening had a death in the family was a figment of her imagination?"

"He mentioned that I was the back-up guest."

"Not. My. Back-up. Guest."

"Put down the shoes. You're gonna poke an eye out. Probably mine."

"Right now I'd like to throw them at you."

"Hetty wouldn't like that."

"Hetty is the only reason you're not ducking right now," Kensi sighed. "I didn't know this was going to be a blind dinner date until my Mom just called. She asked me to dinner with Bruce Thursday and I mentioned I'd like you to come. I figured they'd see us together and I'd tell her about us next time we spoke. Let her see the non-taking her into protective custody side of you."

"Protective custody is one of my better sides."

"No, the charming, funny guy tonight was just fine. The guy who kept up my cover about Japan and the last six months was also pretty damn good."

"Look, I didn't mention Bruce wanting you to find a nice guy because..."

"I found a nice guy."

"Yeah, well maybe Mark is a nicer guy."

"You're an idiot. Hey Monty, wanna go for a walk?"

"What?"

"I'm walking your dog. And while we're out, you can figure out how sincerely you want to apologize to me."

"Apologize? Look, Bruce thinks you can do better. You can do..."

"Come on Monty," Kensi walked into his kitchen and found his leash. She walked into the bedroom and came out wearing a pair of his flip flops. Somehow she was able to walk with ease in them even though they were way too big. "By the way, I'm bringing over some stuff tomorrow and you're doing the same when we're at my place. I'm getting tired of waking up an hour early to drive home change and go to the office," she said as she hooked the retractable leash to Monty's collar. "We'll be back in a few."

Monty, who started following Kensi around as soon as he heard his name, earned a glare from Deeks. "Turncoat," he hissed at the dog.

"Oh, and after your meeting with Bates tomorrow, you're opening my gift," she told him before she closed the door.

Deeks plopped down on his couch and wondered what the hell happened. Sitting on his coffee table were the Jimmy Choo sling backs. He knew what happened: Kensi happened. The way Kensi has happened to him since 2010.

Kensi and Monty returned about ten minutes later. Monty retook his spot under the coffee table. Kensi had her go bag. She pulled out a pink felt bag and put the shoes in them before taking the go bag to the bedroom. "I'm not expecting a drawer or anything," she said when she returned to the living room wearing a black camisole and a pair of red cotton sleeping shorts. After sitting next to him on the coach, she continued, "I'll just pick up another gym bag tomorrow or Tuesday."

"You can have a drawer," he told her. He threw away a bunch of Max's tee-shirts last summer when he was trying to figure out if he was going back to work or not.

"Oh, so I'm drawer-worthy. I thought you were plotting to marry me off to one of your betters."

"There are many of them."

"Oh, please. Tell me what Bruce said."

"He wants you to find a nice guy, a guy who can take care of you."

"Because, of course, I can't take care of myself," Kensi sighed. "I know my Mother loves him but he can be an asshole sometimes."

"He wants good things for you, Kensi. I want good things for you. You should want good things for you."

"I'm happy with my life."

"Maybe you could be a lot happier with someone who can..."

"Don't. Bruce is a money guy. It is how he made a life for himself. It is how he measures himself. Unfortunately, it is how he measures everyone. You and me, we're a problem in the Bruce success matrix since we've got money educations and not money jobs."

"A success matrix?"

"He teaches a class as USC. He's written a book. 'Applying the Success Matrix' by Bruce I. Feldman. It actually sold fairly well."

"I'll be sure to order it from Amazon."

"Oh, he gave me a copy after we first met. Autographed it and everything. I'll be glad to lend it to you." She sighed. "He's not a bad person but he's got different values. And you know, he met my Mother - who came from money - and they were a good match. Mom did her best to be a good Marine wife but Bruce was always the guy she should have married. Stable home life, business trips where you can take your wife, cruise vacations, summers in Spain or tourist railroad train rides through the Canadian Rockies."

"It isn't a bad life."

"No, it's not if that's the life you want. It isn't the life I want."

Deeks just nodded his head but mumbled "Maybe it's the life you deserve."

"How bad a guy is he?"

"Bruce? He seems fine."

"No. The guy you think you are - how bad a guy is he?"

"I don't want to have this conversation."

"Fine. I'll have a monologue then. I get your old man was a bad man. You're not him. I get that you spent years as scumbags like Max or Sully. You're not them, either."

"You don't know what I'm capable of."

"Oh, I do know. You ever beat any of your old girlfriends?"

"Of course not."

"All the bad things you've done as Max - dealing, selling guns, stealing - you do any of that as Marty Deeks?"

"No, and I'm not running a human trafficking ring either. But I told you what I did..."

"In a terrible moment. Moment. And a moment that's been eating you alive. We were going great and Paul Angelo tells you a dark story of his screw up and that's all you can see for yourself and for us."

He shrugged.

"I had a minute like that a while back but saw the exact opposite. You weren't there yet but when Sidorov had Michelle, Sam kept it cool and kept it together because no matter what, he and Michelle were going to be fine. They'd always find their way back to each other. Michelle and Sam have survived these brutal assignments and in the end, they made a great life together."

"Sam's a good.."

"Sam's a good man. So are you if you'd stop listening to the voice in your head that tells you otherwise."

"You deserve better."

"I deserve to be happy. You make me happy. Or at least you do when your head isn't this far up your ass. Get your head out of your ass and we're fine."

He was quiet for a while. "Do I get a drawer?"

"I'll have to empty one out..."

"….or just dump some stuff on the floor," he offered as a stage mumble.

"This is not how you earn a drawer," she said as she lifted his arm and curled herself around him. "No basketball tonight. Are you caught up with 'Game of Thrones'?"

"You're actually going to watch a program where people don't get voted out at the end."

"Oh, "Game of Thrones" votes out lots of people, just in a more permanent way."

He hit the remote and the TV popped on. "I'm not opening the box tomorrow."

"But you will, eventually, right?"

"Yes."

"Then I got what I wanted too."

-30-

Happy Easter to those who celebrate.