"Hey dad, how did you ask mom out?" a blonde girl asked. Edward Elric sighed and blamed his wife for passing on her blue eyes. It was at that moment Winry Elric chose to appear. Now that he thought about it, she had a strange habit of appearing out of nowhere whenever someone mentioned their love life. Normally, the meeting was concluded with Winry disclosing an embarrassing fact about his…entomology. He very much hoped his dear darling wife could at least tone it down for their thirteen year old daughter.
"Well, Ally," Winry drawled, enjoying the nervous look on her husband's face, "I remember it was something to do with 'Equivalent change: I'll give you half my life so give me half of yours' or something like that. Then he hopped on a train and left me all alone for two years."
Allison Verity Elric looked as if someone had dropped a turtle on her head. Which had happened only once, she conceded, when her brother had ended his long turtle collecting phase and threw one of the offensive beasts (it had…littered on his bed) out of the window, only for it to land on his sister. Ally was pleased to say that he had gotten stuck with chores for six months.
"W-winry, it wasn't like that!" Edward tried to explain rather desperately, "equivalent exchange is actually quite a romantic way for…"
"Asking someone out? That is, it's quite romantic for an insipid little midget little more significant than a grain of rice!" Winry retorted, holding out her beloved wrench. Poor Ally was torn between watching amusedly, and shouting a warning to her dad.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A FLEA SIZED IDIOT WHO CAN'T PERFORM ALCHEMY DUE TO HIS SIZE AND IS MORE INSIGNIFICANT THAN A GRAIN OF RICE AND CAN'T USE REAL WEAPONS? HUH? HUH?" Edward Elric persisted, ignoring the warning look from his daughter. Suddenly, Winry deflated, pocketing the wrench.
"God, this brings back memories," she giggled. Eyes popping, Edward prayed to whatever gods there were that this wasn't a fluke.
"How'd you and dad get married then?" Ally asked, now fully alarmed.
"Well…" Edward drew out nervously. This time, Winry really did hit him with the wrench.
"Let's see…
"He just got back from his trip, and he wouldn't show me what was in his left hand. We went home to Granny, Al, and Mei. Nothing out of the normal happened. Then, in the middle of the night, we heard clanging in the kitchen, and smelt smoke. All of us rushed down the stairs and found Edward trying to bake my ring into a cake. Obviously, the cake exploded in the oven due to the metal. That's why my ring's a bit deformed," Winry showed Ally, who gazed at the band of auto-mail like it was the coolest thing in the world.
From that day onwards, Edward Elric never got respect from his daughter again.
