I was up all night writing so I'm half dead now which means no authors rant but I do want to put this before I fall asleep:

Thanks to

ShiTiger, and Psycic-Ghost for your reviews

And special thanks to

BlackBolt for her hugs and wonderful reviews

Sothe for putting up with my sugar-fied ranting and naming my newest toad Gunter which is actually the perfect name for him

WARNING THIS CHAPTER IS RATED M FOR MATURE!!!!

Its got SamxBee and SamxBeexBarricade too. This is what happens when I listen to Disturbed and drink Dr. Pepper at four in the morning……

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By primus Sam's mother was amazing when it came to sneaking around and keeping secrets, I don't think even the twins could do as much scheming as her even when Ratchets the victim.

"So what are we doing?" I asked.

"You wanted them to party right?"

"Yeah"

"Ironhide, Jazz, and the twins are mixing up high grade for you guys……"

"And we are getting alcohol?... but I thought humans weren't supposed to drink until they were twenty-one……" I trailed off confused as to why she would ignore a sparkling protection law when she had almost ripped Frenzy to shreds with her bare hands after the 'con tried to hurt her kid.

"I was fifteen when I had my first drink and I turned out ok so I figure Sam'll be alright. He is turning nineteen after all."

Her logic surprised me slightly "are you sure?"

"I trust you guys to take care of him….. We're here!" she jumped out and I hastily formed a hologram to follow her.

"Thank you for your trust Mrs. Witwicky."

"How many times have I told you to call me Judy?"

"One hundred and fifty-two"

"Really? I stopped counting after thirty."

I sighed "that's not the point Judy" My hologram chuckled as we entered the store.

"Who knew Optimus Prime had a sense of humor." She said I followed her to the back were the booze was kept, within minutes she had loaded me down with at least twenty different drinks and bottles.

"You know" I stated "if he drank all this it would uh kill him."

"Not all of it is for Sam I'm sending some to Will and Sarah and some is also for the garage I plan on locking those two in there again eventually."

I laughed "are they really going to fall for that again?"

"Of course it's not that hard to trick two hormonal boys even if one is from another planet."

I almost stalled out from laughing so much.

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I had never seen a drunk human before and was quite amazed at the effects of 'liquid courage.' It was not that much different from us really, but still I had not expected Sam's personality to change from a laid back, shy, quiet type to a out spoken, wild, giggling mess. The human even tried to 'play' with Ironhides cannons.

I was slightly buzzed when a drunken Bumblebee mentioned something called the 'cricket' incident causing Sam to burst into laughter.

"Care ta' tell us what 'ur talkin' 'bout?" Ratchet asked his voice was slurred horribly.

"Yeah!" I cheered on, "tell us my squishy friend." My hazy processor didn't register half of what I said.

"Weeeeeeell remember when 'Bee helped me take in my biology project?" his words had a giggle warble added to them.

"The 'psycho sisters' project was on breeding crickets and grasshoppers but some people didn't believe they actually did it."

Bumblebee chuckled, "this female opened one of the containers holding the bugs and she freaked out."

I laughed at the mental images and fell out of my chair with a thud that made Sam fly a few inches in the air. His eyes lit up, "Let's play truth or dare!" Bumblebee nodded vigorously.

"Waz that?" I asked, still on the floor.

"Oh I know I know!" 'Hide said jumping up and down, "it'z a game humans play where ya' ask a person truth or dare an' they pick one if they chose twuth they have ta' answer any question you ask if they say dare they have ta' do anythin' ya' say……. Anne played it once wit' her friends."

"I go first!" Ratchet shrieked he turned to me. "Truth or dare?"

I paused, "ummmmm truth I guess."

"When's the last time you got laid?"

Sam burst into laughter falling over much like I did.

"I don't really remember……"

Ratchet grinned, "iz your turn."

"Sam truth or dare?"

"Dare."

I laughed at him, "ok I dare you to….." I wracked my CPU for a good one. "Lick one of Bumblebees tires."

Bumblebee looked at me like I was crazy but transformed anyway. Sam knelt and gave his front tire a long lick making 'Bee tremble. The human grinned and did it again Ratchet laughed at them and winked at me.

Bumblebee transformed again and picked his human up stopping Sam from continuing.

"Your turn Sam," 'Hide quipped.

"Ok Ironhide truth or dare?"

"Dare of course."

Sam's evil smile unnerved me slightly. "I dare you to kiss Mojo at the next meeting."

Ironhide froze and looked at the doorway, Barricade stood there grinning.

"You guys got drunk without me?"

Sam hiccupped, "come on in an' play with us."

"Threesome!!" Ratchet yelled pointing at the 'con who had sat next to 'Bee and Sam.

Sam was to drunk to blush at the implications, instead he flicked Ratchet off.

"My turn." Ironhide growled, "Barricade truth or dare?"

"What?"

While Ratchet explained the came I stared at the floor, I had never noticed the cracks in the tiles before……

"Dare," Barricades voice snapped me back.

"I dare you to guzzle a whole case of high grade!"

The 'con laughed and began drinking at a alarming rate. By the time he was done he was drunker than the rest of us and had started hitting on both Sam and Bumblebee.

"'ur turn 'Cade" Sam stuttered as Barricades hologram began rubbing against him, the 'con himself was playing with 'Bees 'wings' making sparks fly.

"'K…… Optimus!"

"Hmmm?" I asked drowsily have asleep already.

"Truth or Dare?"

"Dare since I did truth last time I guess…." I mumbled.

"I dare you to smack Ratchet on the aft and say 'hey sexy'."

"Oh primus," I muttered. "Come 're Ratch."

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As a special bonus for BlackBolt here comes the smut in Sam's POV.

WARNING: SEX

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I can't believe Optimus actually did 'Cades dare the look on Ratchets face was priceless and distracted me from the 'cons advances.

"I think I'm out of the game." Optimus muttered right before he passed out, still laying on the floor where he had fallen.

Soon after Ironhide fell asleep hanging upside down on his chair and Ratchet fell off the table and didn't get up.

By that point Barricade had carried me and dragged Bumblebee to his room.

"'Cade?" I mumbled sleepily, "what are you doing?"

It was Bumblebees hologram that answered by kissing me deeply. I was instantly awake kissing him back, while Barricade nibbled at my ear.

"Sam…. Do you want to–" he moaned when I pulled him closer. And shoved my tongue down his throat.

"I guess that's a yes." Barricade hissed and yanked my shirt off with a smooth tug to lick and kiss my chest. Blood went strait down south along with 'Bees hand, I groaned again and began rubbing 'Cades thighs. The time my mom had locked bumblebee and I in the garage I had found out that 'Bee could feel everything I did to his holo.

Suddenly both holograms lost their clothes leaving me the only one not naked. 'Bee grinned and began tugging at my jeans unzipping them and pulling both them and my boxers down to my ankles.

In response I began massaging him getting lower and lower, making him moan. Barricade growled and shoved me against 'Bee before impaling my from behind. My moans of pleasure were muffled by Bumblebees mouth as he kissed me and ground our bodies together.

Barricade lost control first and bit into my shoulder to muffle his screams, making Bumblebee and I come with yells of our own.

I fell forward making 'Cade slide out and fall on top of me.

After a few minutes my breathing evened out and 'Bee sat up, pushing me down so I was under him.

"uuuuuh time for round two." He whispered in my ear.

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drowsily hope you enjoy…… better have reviews when I wake up passes out