Chapter 3: Cutting the Old Ties
A strange sense of foreboding woke Bethany. It was late at night, and she instinctively reached out for the security of Anders' warm body next to her. But the bunk was empty and cold.
"Anders?" She sat up. Her initial grogginess gave way to a sudden sharp surge of worry. "Anders?" Where could he be? She pulled on her robes, hiding her burgeoning belly under the long folds, and left the cabin. Quietly and carefully she made her way up to the ship's deck. To her relief his familiar silhouette was the first thing she saw when she stepped out into the night.
"Anders! I was worried-" But then he turned around and an icy feeling spread in her stomach. This wasn't Anders. The cold blue glow in his eyes made it obvious who she was talking to.
"Justice?" Her voice was tentative. The spirit nodded, and she plucked up all her courage to come closer.
"Yes. I need to talk to you." The unfamiliar sound of the deep hollow voice coming from his lips made her shiver. Everything inside her screamed at the sight. She wanted Anders back; she didn't want to talk to this thing that had caused so much pain, so much hurt.
Bethany forced herself to remain calm. "Are you sure it's not Vengeance? Because I'm not sure I want to talk to him."
The spirit looked away, sounding almost contrite. "No longer Vengeance. Being with you... your love has changed him. And it has changed me. Now I see what I have done, what we have done together... I need your help."
"What for?" She was curious now, even if she didn't trust the spirit, even if seeing the blue glow in her beloved's eyes repulsed her more than she could say.
Justice sighed deeply. "Back when I asked Anders to accept me into his body, I thought we could do some good together. But instead we brought out the worst in each other. It... has to end, even if it means my existence ends too."
Bethany took a deep breath. "If that's what you want... But how?"
She nearly jumped with shock when a deep voice suddenly rang out behind her. "I might be able to help." Fenris had walked up so quietly that neither of them had noticed him.
"You?" She could hardly keep the incredulity out of her voice. She and the elf used to get along well enough despite her magical abilities, but since she had become Anders' lover, his behaviour toward her had cooled markedly.
Fenris seemed unperturbed by her tone, though, and went on. "My markings let me reach partway into the Fade. I think I could separate the two. Though why I should help the abomination..."
Bethany felt a wild surge of hope. "Do it for me. Or do it for Kit. I know you feel... bound to him. And Anders means a lot to Kit too. Please, Fenris." She knew she sounded desperate, but she didn't care.
The elf raised a hand, trying to calm her. "I can't promise it will work. Certainly only if the spirit cooperates. And even so..." He trailed off, unable to meet her eyes.
"It might kill Anders." Her tone was flat. Of course. It would certainly kill Justice, and whether Anders would be able to survive after all this time...
"Yes." Fenris nodded.
Justice seemed about to open his mouth, but at that moment, the blue eyes turned a warm brown again as Anders struggled to the surface. "Do it, Fenris." It was his voice, though edged with desperation. "Do it now, before any of us change their mind. And if I die-"
Bethany cried out in panic. "I don't want to lose you, Anders. Especially now that-" A warning look from his eyes made her stop, but she couldn't prevent a sob from escaping her lips.
"Please, love, I have to do this." Anders' eyes begged her to understand. "If there's a chance..."
"Are you ready?" Fenris' voice was gruff, as usual, but there was a hint of pity in his expression. "Stand back, Bethany. I don't know how this will play out, and it's better not to have another mage in the mix."
Bethany nodded and stepped back to the railing, holding on to it with both hands. She had fought at Fenris' side more than once, but even so she had to suppress a gasp when his tattoos lit up and his body began to phase into the Fade.
"Don't look, Bethany." His tone was almost apologetic, but she couldn't bring herself to look away as his hand reached straight into Anders' chest and grabbed something there.
There was a brief struggle and then an ear-piercing cry of pain from Anders' lips. Both elf and mage went down to the wooden deck, writhing in agony. Bethany cried out in anguish and almost threw herself into the fray, but strong hands grabbed her from behind and held her back. She struggled frantically against the firm grip, trying to see who was holding her back. Kit. She heard his sharp intake of breath when Fenris emerged from the scuffle, holding an amorphous blue shape between his gauntleted hands. It wiggled briefly in his grasp, then it tore itself away and disappeared up into the sky, where it dissolved with a faint whine. Fenris looked at the two of them for a second before the blue glow faded suddenly from his tattoos, his eyes rolled up in their sockets, and he slumped to the deck unconscious, next to Anders' prone body.
"What in the Maker's name is going on here?" Kit's voice was teeming with barely contained fury. Bethany was shaking so violently, her teeth chattering so badly that she couldn't form words. Kit's demeanour changed immediately when he realized this, his features turning soft and his voice gentle. "Shhh, Beth." He pulled her close to his chest and began to stroke her hair, in firm, rhythmic movements that soothed her panic.
"The spirit is gone, Hawke." Fenris sat up with a pained groan and looked at Kit. His voice was still shaky, but he seemed unharmed. "I wasn't sure but..."
"Anders!" Bethany tore herself out of Kit's embrace and rushed to her lover's side. "Is he-"
She let her hands run feverishly over his limp body. There was a heartbeat, but it was very faint. "Damn it, Anders, we need you." She nearly screamed at him. "Come on, you can do it, you're a healer."
Kit knelt down next to her on the rough boards, cradling the mage's head carefully in his lap. "Calm down, Beth. Not even Anders can heal himself while he's unconscious. You'll have to get him well enough to wake him up first. Can you do that?"
His quiet, gentle tone found a way through the waves of panic that threatened to suffocate her. "Yes." She took another deep breath, trying to calm her racing heart. This can't be good for the babies. Focussing, she channelled her mana and worked a simple healing spell. She was nowhere near as good as Anders, but she wasn't completely useless either. Very slowly she felt his heartbeat stabilize, build up strength, return to something close to his natural rhythm. Fenris was watching her from the side, his usual disdain for magic wiped away by the sincere love he could see in her eyes.
She lost track of time while she was fighting to keep Anders alive. After what seemed hours he opened his eyes and looked at her.
"Beth." He sounded infinitely tired and was obviously still in great pain, but there was a joy in his expression that made tears roll down her cheeks.
She opened her mouth to speak, but he was already pulling energy, already working on healing his battered body. Bethany closed her eyes and relaxed as she realized he could take it from there.
"Now will somebody please tell me what this is all about!" Kit sounded ominous, and she had to suppress a bout of hysterical laughter at the sight of his glowering face.
When all the explanations were finished, Kit sat back, shaking his head. "You are insanely reckless, every one of you. There's no telling what could have happened. We could have lost you all." His expression softened as he looked at Anders. "Though I am glad of the outcome, I won't deny that. How do you feel?"
"All right, I guess." Anders frowned as he ran a quick mental check-up. "Different. Strangely empty. The taint feels... fainter than before, weaker. And there are some spells missing from my head."
"What do you mean, missing?" Bethany's eyes were round with amazement. "How can a spell go missing?"
"I don't know, but some of them just have... gone. Not all... there seems to be a pattern, but..." His eyes widened. "All the spells that can kill. They are all gone."
To their surprise, Fenris threw his head back and laughed out loud. "Justice indeed!" When they looked at him in confusion he elaborated. "Apparently your spirit friend decided to neuter you. Made sure you wouldn't be a bad little mage again."
"Fenris!" Kit's tone was admonishing, though his lips were twitching suspiciously.
"He's right, though." Anders seemed stunned by the realization. "That does sound like Justice's idea of... punishment."
"Well, I can live with that." Bethany closed her eyes for a moment, relief written clearly across her face. "Come on, you should rest."
Together they made their way below decks. When they turned in to their cabins, Anders stopped for a moment and extended his hand to Fenris. "Thank you, Fenris. I know you don't even like me, but you have done me an unimaginable service at great personal risk. I'm in your debt."
"I didn't do it for you." Fenris replied ungraciously, but he took the outstretched hand, if briefly. "Yet I am glad it worked out. We'll all be safer now."
Anders nodded and pulled Bethany closer. He felt a vague sense of grief for Justice, but for the first time in years, there seemed to be a future for him. An uncertain one, but one he could shape himself. And he was very grateful for that simple fact.
You can meet Anders and Bethany again in Worse Things Happen at Sea - The Orlesian Adventures (coming soon).
As always, I'm hugely grateful to zevgirl for her help and support.
