Confessions of a Pyromaniac

~xx- Chapter 2: Simile of Love –xx~

Kakashi sat, his back pressed to a tree, his mind racing and reeling as the rain feel around him. It did little to cool him off and satiate the hunger that burned so deeply within him. It did little for the raging hard-on that throbbed with every beat of his running heart. He ran his hands through his drenched hair, panting as he reclaimed his self-control.

He slipped his mask down, cursing silently as lightning flashed overhead lighting up the night. It was followed by a loud, earth-shaking rumble.

He was going to go mad, he told himself. He was going to go mad and he was going to die because of her. She was going to be his demise, his down-fall, the end of him. He couldn't breathe. It felt as if someone had lit his entire person ablaze and they just kept pouring gasoline over him.

He could practically feel the blisters rising on his skin.

She was his student once, he told himself aloud. She was forbidden, off limits, not his to touch. He felt like the small child he always saw in the sandbox at the park, the one eyeing up the toy that wasn't his.

He wanted to play so very bad. To tease and taunt like she belonged only to him.

Kakashi Hatake was certain he'd never wanted so badly in his life as he did now. Just the way she gazed at him with those half-lidded doe eyes made him grind his teeth and put his self control in check. She could put a grown man to his knees with just one of those looks.

He sighed and tipped his head back against the trunk and closed his eyes. This heat couldn't be good for his heart.

#

Sakura sat still in front of the fire, watched the dancing wisps of orange and red as they flickered to darken the tarp even further. It'd been what seemed like hours since Kakashi had left the tent, and she didn't trust herself not to fall asleep and dream of his touch. She talked in her sleep, and a sleepy love confession was something she wanted to avoid at all costs.

Though, she had her suspicions that Kakashi already knew how she felt, along with Sasuke and possibly Sai as well. Naruto was still fairly oblivious, thanks to her convincing lies.

Her gaze darted to her little red book. She picked it up and flipped through the pages, both used and not. She skipped a few sheets after her last entry, and pulled her pen from her hip-pouch.

Her mused had left, quite literally, and left her with nothing to write. Her antsy half told her to get up, find him, take him in the forest and then skedaddle out of there. Her serious half told her to butch up and let the man be. For now.

She groaned and looked at the blank page in front of her. She had nothing, save for the thoughts racing through her head. She could use those, she supposed. Unless Kakashi came bounding back to the tent, she'd met a block in her writing.

I suppose, in some juxtaposition of affection and emotions, I developed what one might call feelings towards you, Hatake Kakashi. –Just when such feelings started occurring, I'm not sure –though, beside that, it's become fairly obvious that your gaze lingers on my person and your comments, directed towards me, are of the sexual nature. And what of our suddenly mutual love of the fire? To say it's merely coincidence would be calling it a petty lie. So in my attempts to rid myself of the rather… risqué thoughts of you, I'm writing this. My confessions.

The confessions of a pyromaniac.

Who would've ever thought it would be that stupid pile of burning sticks to bring out both the best and worst in us? The sides of us we try so hard to hide? Not I. – I'm certain even as you sit out among the trees and the rain falling in this humid forest, your thoughts are of a somewhat similar nature- No?

Since I've nothing more to say to you, at the current moment on my realization, I suppose retracing my footsteps would be beneficial in figuring out when the hell this "fan girl crush" turned into full blown "get in my pants".

I remember the day we met,

Sakura laughed aloud to herself.

I was twelve and you…? You were the weirdest man I had ever met in my few years. You weren't the elite ninja I'd heard about- Sharingan Kakashi- Kakashi of the Sharingan- The Copy Ninja- just some of the few monikers you'd been graced with; you were some cocky jack-off with a porno in his back pocket and an aloof air that damn near made me tear my hair out. Though, looking back now, I understand now- that's you. You're still a jack-off with a porno in his back pocket.

I must have been older than sixteen when I first noticed you as a man from a woman's perspective, so I think I'll skip those pointless flashbacks.

Do you remember when you were my training-advisor when I joined ANBU? I think, in all respects of this that that may have been the very first time I actually saw you from the point of view as an adult. I was seventeen.

I'd needed a representative from ANBU- and a member willing to train me. You were happy to help, because you could fill both positions and you knew me well. Or so you'd said. So you took me under your wing once again.

We became Karasu and Cho. We were pretty fearsome, haha.

You drilled ANBU rules and regulations into my head, so that if need be, I could recite them in my sleep.

I still haven't forgotten them, you know. So, for old time's sake-

-Rule 1: Show NO emotion.

-Rule 2: Never reveal your identity or the identity of any other member in the presence of any one- no matter what reason.

-Rule 3: Should you or any other become incapacitated to the point you are unable to complete a mission, rid the area of your presence or the presence of the injured member.

-Rule 4: Carry your mask at all time inside and outside the village. Identity is key!

- And so on…

Once I passed that test, you put me through the most miserable time of my life. Remember, Kakashi? Physical Training.

It felt like what I imagine giving birth to a grown man might feel like, while have my limbs slowly pulled off in all directions by teams of horses.

But I thank you for it. I'm stronger now than I would have ever imagined being without it.

My favorite ANBU memory is the time you and I were stranded, and surrounded by hundreds of enemy soldiers. The mission to Iwagakure to rescue the Sabaku family advisor.

Your Grand Fire-ball jutsu saved our lives. Afterward, while I healed you, you were delirious, rambling on about how much you loved that jutsu. I didn't understand then what you meant about it. I didn't understand what you meant when you told me that if I couldn't take the heat that I should leave you be.

That, Kakashi, I believe is when I first saw you as a man as I became woman. The way you'd looked at me that night, it ignited something within me. Something that burns now like a thousand degrees.

I wanted that look to be only for me.

She looked up as Sai coughed and sat up, rubbing his eyes.

He looked at her and scratched at the back of his head, "It's too hot to stay asleep."

Sakura nodded in agreement running the back of her hand over her brow to wipe some of the sweat away. "Hey, Sai? Do you think love just happens? Or do you think it develops over time?"

"I think, in all honesty, it's a bit of both. It always takes you by surprise it seems because it just happens, but you always seem to know afterward that it had built up by some means. I guess, in a way, it's kind of like a fire." He gestured to the blaze, "It takes awhile to build up a spark from ashes, but once that spark starts, and it's a bit instantaneous."

"Yeah, that makes sense."

"Maybe that's why they call love an inferno."

Sakura closed her eyes, "Maybe."

She didn't look up as Kakashi crawled back into the tent, taking his seat from across the fire once again. She didn't dare meet his gaze; she kept her eyes on her paper and pen.

"I think, I'm going to call it a night. Good night, Sai. Good night, Kakashi."

Sai grunted and lay back out on the ground, fanning himself with his hand to alleviate his discomfort.

"Sakura?"

"Hmm?" She crawled towards where Sasuke was sleeping, not bothering to look back at Kakashi. There was a long pause, and Sakura had thought she'd heard him wrong. She turned to look back at him, only to find him staring dangerously at her rear. There was a threat to his expression that sent chills down her back, to boil low in her stomach once again.

She felt weak in the knees, and she felt as if her elbows were going to give out below her as she watched him watch her. Sakura shifted her hips, his eyes following. He was going to show her a new meaning to the saying 'melt in her panties' and Sakura couldn't bring herself to fear such a powerful man. Instead, the thought excited her. She smirked.

"Kakashi."

"Yes?" He took his eyes from her posterior to her eyes, "Sleep well."

She snorted to herself as she crawled up next to Sasuke; she hugged the damp pillow and closed her eyes. Sasuke rolled at her side and tapped her on the shoulder.

She looked at him, brow raised and he smiled as he whispered to her.

"You better be careful, Sakura."

"Why is that?" She whispered back.

"I think we both know why."

She smiled, "Because the crow is hungry?"

He nodded, "The butterfly best watch her back."

~xx-xx~

A/N:

Kakashi and Sakura's ANBU names translate to:

-Karasu = Crow
-Cho or sometimes seen as Choucho = Butterfly