I'm back with more! Sadly, my Internet died and I couldn't upload. I blame the WiFi and the rainstorm outside! Anyhow, here's more Linkness. As I listen to Linkin Park. I find this amusing in a twisted sort of way. Link is accused of sexism and cockiness. (And gets yelled at by the mysterious 'author'.) Oh, dear. ^_^

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Chapter 3 Red Yoshi and the Flying Rocks

Green and Link met Red at the pre-assigned 'drop-zone' and Green gave the baby to Red. "Your turn. I'm sick of hearing his cries already. Ugh! Time for some peace and quiet," Green said, walking off.

"Wait a minute. Using the relay system didn't really make sense for the first leg of the journey. How did you get here so fast?" Link asked.

"It does for the rest of the trip. Think of it this way. The Yoshi who just got a turn with the baby, in this case, Green gets to take a load off when he reaches his next station. As for how we got to our stations so fast, we used the warp pipes. Don't tell Green. He's really biased against them 'cauz he had a bad experience with one. It spit him out upside down in the sky," Red began to laugh as if this were the joke of the century. "He landed on his head. Took a few weeks for White to put him back together again."

"Why dontcha just use the warp pipes to transport the baby?"

"That's no fun. Besides, Kamek would predict that."

"I'll never get why you guys can't do things the easy way," Link responded.

"You're just sad 'cauz you gotta walk the whole way without any real rest."

"No. I've walked all over Hyrule! Hey, I ran all over that field, fought monsters and everything, even as a kid," Link reposted.

"What is this, a swordfight?!?" Red yelled at the author.

"Yes, as a matter of fact it is. A swordfight of words, as I like to call it, or simply a wordfight. Whichever you prefer," a voice answered.

"What in the world-"

"That was the author. Now do you believe us?" Red asked.

"No, there's no way that's the author. It sounds like a man."

"SEXIST!"

"What? That's not sexism! That's the hard truth!"

"I could write you out."

"No comment."

"Good," the voice quieted.

"That's not the author," Link said stubbornly.

"That was the author and you know it. You just can't believe that the author would find the time to talk to you," Red said. "Don't argue."

"It's not. You've got someone in the grass yellin' at me. You're trying to get me to believe in a huge lie that you've set up in a cunning way. You can say everyone believes it as much as you want, but I'm not jumping aboard the band wagon. I've killed things ten times my size. You have no idea what I'm prepared for."

"Someone sounds cocky."

"Shut up. I just wanna let you know that this isn't gonna suck me in."

"Whatever. Keep walkin'."

Link and Red reached the plains and just as they started across, a huge rock fell from the sky and impacted the ground a few feet away from where they were standing, leaving a huge hole where moments ago prairie grasses waved in the slight breeze.

"That's encouraging," Link said.

"Can it, Peanut Gallery!" Red yelled.

"Anger management issues, much."

"I said SHUT UP!"

"Actually you said, 'Can it, Peanut Gallery.'"

"Big diff," Red retorted.

"Well, this isn't getting us anywhere and at this rate, we're never gonna get this... this... loud thing, out of our sight."

"Sure, but the baby's asleep now."

"I knew that," Link said quickly, jumping over the hole left by the rock, as another flew closer to land in the bottom of the seemingly bottomless hole. Link barely made it before the rock hit its target. Red jumped after Link.

"Are you trying to be suicidal, or is it some sort of gift that comes naturally?" Red yelled.

"I'm right here, you don't hafta shout," Link said, placing his hands over his ears and rubbing them. "I'm not being suicidal. I'm just amazing like that and have the gift of timing."

Red coughed to hide what he was saying, "Bad," he coughed theatrically, "timing." Red threw in another cough for dramatic effect.

"You okay?' Link asked, slightly confused because there was no visible reason for the Yoshi to be coughing his lungs out. The trio continued on, Link thinking about how crazy this must look, until they reached a wooden gate-like structure.

"Kamek didn't put this up," Red said matter-of-factly. "Musta been the Shy Guys."

"Shy Guys?"

"Yeah, the train people. Like the one that crawled up your arm."

"Rriiight..." Link trailed off.

Red walked through the gate and Link followed. "Our anti-Yoshi barrier has been breached!" a Shy Guy voice yelled throughout the chamber. "Retreat!"

"Anti-Yoshi barrier?!?" Link asked incredulously.

"The Shy Guys will do anything to keep from being turned into eggs."

"Why'd you have to remind me of that?!?" Link moaned.

"Let's get this over with. If you don't like it, close your eyes. By the way, if the baby starts crying, most likely it's because he fell off. My orders? Get the baby at all costs."

"Am I the only one that realizes that this is a dead end?" Link asked.

"It's not. If I throw an egg over there..." Red paused to lob a newly made egg at the wall Link was standing by.

"Holy moly!" Link yelled, "Ya coulda hit me!"

"...So you're telling me that the guy who's fought monsters ten times his size as a kid is afraid of being hit by an egg?"

"No! It's just that it came out of your butt!"

"Not even gonna correct you, 'cauz that would severely mess up the fic rating."

"And my mind," Link choked out.

"And your mind," Red agreed. "You see that ball thing up there?"

"Um," Link said, redirecting his gaze upward, "Yeah, that thing that has the arrow on it. You're gonna hafta throw something up there to break the barrier between it and us."

"I like how you didn't say what I'm gonna hafta throw up there," Red teased.

"I'd kill you, but then all the other Yoshis would think that I work for Kamek and that would really mess up my day."

"You're just afraid of the power of the Yoshis."

"SHUT UP! I am not! I just don't really wanna die on this pathetic island."

"Sure," Red said, throwing an egg so that it hit the barrier of dirt and broke it, causing the ball to fall at Link's feet.

"Again, with the almost hitting me."

"Would you prefer that I actually hit you?" Red asked, genuinely wondering if that's what Link wanted since he kept complaining about his aim.

"No. I'm just pointing out the painfully obvious 'cauz it's awfully annoying and I really don't wanna go on some nursemaid's journey."

"I ain't no nursemaid!"

"Of course you aren't… NURSEY!" Link said, mischievously.

"There are no restrictions on me. I will kill you if you keep this up."

"I'll claim self-defense when I disembowel you with the Master Sword, then." Link retorted.

"Nuts. I hate it when the author doesn't let me win these comeback contests."

"Loser."

"DIE."

"NO."

"Let's get this show on the road. You just bounce on the arrow ball a coupla times and you're good to go," Red explained, doing as he'd instructed Link. Here goes nothin'. Link thought as he looked skeptically at the ball with the red arrow on it. Jumping onto it, he was surprised at how high he went when he jumped off with a SPROING.

Link found himself next to Red, who had apparently waited for him despite their recent fight. Red ran through a tunnel and Link followed, amazed as the right wall of the tunnel faded away, either becoming transparent or completely vanishing from existence. Red didn't explain, or say anything, for that matter until they reached a ledge with a bubble that looked like it had a helicopter inside it. "What in the world does that thing do?" Link asked.

"That's a morphing bubble. You wanna figure out what it's like to be a helicopter?"

"Helicopter?"

"Yeah. You can fly around. Guess Kamek got careless with his magic again. If either he or his toadies sneezes while he is holding the magic wand, who knows what will happen."

Earlier that day:

"Kamek," moaned Carl, "I wanna play with the magical wandy thingy." Kamek looked at him skeptically.

"Why do you think I put it on top of the cabinets? So you can't find it!" Kamek thought that over for a second. What's wrong with me?!? I just revealed the location of one of my most prized possessions. Maybe if I act casual about it Carl and the others won't notice.

"Kamek?" Carl asked. "Hellooo? Are you awake in there? I'm gonna go to the kitchen now and get the wand."

"Nuts," Kamek said under his breath, smashing his head into the table multiple times. "I hate it when I do that."

The toadies rushed out of Kamek's room to get the wand so they could mess around with it. "Hey, look, I'm Harry Potter!" said Mitch, grabbing the wand from Carl and suddenly sneezing, he gripped the wand hard and wound up flicking his wrist really hard, sending magic all over the place.

Up on the cliff where Link and Red now stood two helicopter bubbles popped up.

Now:

Link looked at the Yoshi, hoping he was kidding, but those hopes were quickly crushed. "How exactly does it work?" he asked, trying to stall the inevitable.

"Dunno, don't care," Red replied. For once Link was unhappy about his previous assumption that the fact that the Yoshi thought like he did. "Touch the bubble." Red was obviously growing impatient. Knowing that the diminuitive Yoshi would mock him if he didn't touch the bubble without so much as a flinch, Link simply reached his finger out to pop the membrane of the heli-bubble. Instantly he experienced a tingly sensation all over his body, then he began to twist and turn into shapes that were not humanly possible. His legs seemed to collapse in on themselves and finally the transformation was complete. Red was right next to him. "Let's go. Wanna race?" Red asked Link.

"Sure, I've got nothing to lose."

"Still the cocky one."

"I'm not COCKY!!"

"Go!"

Link was startled by the voice, but that just made him fly that much faster. He was having a hard time getting used to being in the form of a helicopter, but he soon figured it out.

They tied.

"I won!" Red and Link said simultaneously when they reached the Yoshi and Human blocks respectively. "Wait a minute. Why is it that we transform into a helicopter when we pop the bubbles, but go back to normal not when we touch a bubble, but when we hit a block?"

"You lost me."

"Whatever."

Red and Link walked over to a warp pipe and it took a minute for Red to convince Link that he would indeed fit in the pipe with his sword and shield affixed to his back. Link wouldn't leave his weapons behind, so this was a good development for him. They popped up out of the warp pipe and Link saw some more of the flowers that were rumored to be able to eat something that was even his size. Link wasn't about to find out, at least not willingly. He'd had enough of the inside of beings because of his run-in with Jabu-Jabu.

"Well, ya comin'?" Red asked Link, as he was a long way ahead of the warrior. Link was surprised to see that the man-and-Yoshi-eating-plants were gone, presumably dead because Red threw an egg or two around.

"Yeah, just thinking."

"'Bout what?"

"Oh, nothing really. Just a coupla past adventures. I like to review them just in case there's something in them that can help out with what's going on at the moment. Pointless really, since we really don't need any more ideas at the moment, as Sky is standing over there waiting for us to go over there so she can have her turn with the baby."

"Exactly."

"After you," Link made a sweeping gesture with his right hand.

"Thanks. You were a real help. You helped me figure you out. A little," Red said. "You helped me figure out why Hylians are stereotyped as being crazy."

"You can't imagine how much I resent that."

"It's just a stereotype. I didn't mean anything by it. I promise," Red replied, throwing an innocent look on his large Yoshi face, which was quite humorous to look at because of his huge nose.

"Let's get the baby to Sky. Then, again, whadda I care, I'll still have to walk wherever no matter who leads with the baby."

"It stinks, doesn't it."

"It's not me."

"No, that you hafta walk all over the island without any breaks unless everybody stops to go to sleep."

"Did you hafta remind me?" Link asked, as they reached Sky.

"You brought it up."

"Again, why did you hafta remind me?"

"I like to hear you say that."

"Ugh," Link groaned.

"Here ya go, Sky. Look out, he's a little grouchy," Red said, giving the baby to Sky.

"Thanks. Who exactly are you talking about? Link or the baby?" Sky asked.

"You don't see the kid complainin' do ya?"

"I knew that," Sky replied. "I just wanted to let HIM know it."

"Ouch," Red said. "Sky one, Link zero."

"At least my nose doesn't cover my face," Link replied.

"Yo mamma covers your face!" Sky said.

"My mother's dead."

"OOOOOHHH," Red crooned. "Link two, Sky one. Sorry, Sky, you gotta give a guy the benefit of outwitting you."

"I'm gonna hurt you one of these days," Sky vowed.

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This was a really fun chappy to write. If this is the last chappy I post for a coupla days, this is how I want it to go. It's really super long and I think it's quite amusing. Including ANs it's over two thousand words long. I'm listening to random songs right now that are on my iPod. I'm typing this on my dad's laptop, but I consider it mine. I have learned to type faster now since I've got a FanFiction account and have been typing stories a lot. I love writing this fic because it's so random, but the basic storyline is already set out for me. A special thanks to Starrgrl24 for the publicity and the amazing sequel. YAY! I also would like to say that I'm gonna rip off one of her ideas, which I have already checked with her about, so, yeah. That's gonna be why something happens to Link. Her fic has been a great inspiration whilst I was writing this and still am. The Shy Guy fight and the Kamek and toadies scene were directly inspired by her fic. The Shy Guys are insane! The anti-Yoshi barrier was a parody of the anti-Yoshi stilts in her fic. Basically this is a fanfic of a fanfic. This AN is ridiculously long. There I go pointing out the painfully obvious. Heh, like Link. XD ^_^