Chapter Three

Kayla lay awake much of the night, thinking about her family back in Salem, and experiencing a pang of homesickness far greater than she had anticipated. She was uncertain if it was the spaghetti made from her mother's recipe or the talk about family with Ruthie in the breakroom, or perhaps a combination of the two, but she had spent the night thinking about the phone call from Caroline a few weeks earlier.

Her brothers, Roman and Bo, still lived in Salem, but her older sister Kim, like her, had moved away, seeking to leave behind the painful memories that had marred her life. But unlike her, Kim had reached out to her family, expressing a desire to come home for a visit, and their mother had reasoned that it would be the perfect time for Kayla to come back as well. Although she stayed in touch by telephone and email, she had never returned to Salem, preferring to pay their way to California to see her on the rare occasions that they were willing to leave the pub behind to take a short vacation. As such, it was now several years since they had physically seen her or Stephanie.

Ignoring the pangs of guilt, knowing that her parents and siblings were disappointed, Kayla had declined the invitation, stating the truthful fact that the hospital was short-staffed. Now that she had time to think about it, however, she was finding that the familial pull was stronger than she had thought. Salem was her home, the place her parents had settled after their marriage, where Pop had built a business, and where she and her siblings had been raised. It held so many memories, both good and bad.

Throughout the night, she had glanced repeatedly at the illuminated digital numbers on her alarm clock, frustrated that she was unable to sleep, and finally, at four o'clock, she tossed back the sheets and got up, then took a few minutes to dress and make her bed.

The hospital was still short-staffed and she had been working with little time off, especially during the school year, but now that summer was here and her daughter was out of school, perhaps now would be a good time to go home to visit her family. All she had to do was convince her boss, who would likely be less than thrilled that she was leaving at such a crucial time.

Her eyes drifted to the wedding photograph on the dresser, and she knew that it wasn't only her family that she needed to see. What she needed to see most was a lonely and neglected grave in St. Luke's Cemetery. Although she had kept it decorated with flowers delivered from a local Salem florist, she knew it was time to see it in person. She had avoided it too long.

Her decision made, she glanced at the illuminated numbers on the clock again. It was now 4:15, meaning that it was 6:15 Salem. Her parents were early risers, necessitated by their decision to serve breakfast in the Pub's restaurant, so they must have the doors unlocked at the designated 6:30 opening time. There was no doubt that they would be up and would soon be going downstairs to greet their earliest customers.

After a brief hesitation, still reluctant to call anyone so early in the morning, she picked up the phone and dialed the private phone number of her parents' residence above the Pub.

Caroline Brady answered after two rings with a cheerful but rushed, "Hello?"

"Hey, Mom, it's me."

"Kayla!" The delight in her mother's voice was evident. "It's wonderful to hear your voice!" There was a brief pause, and Kayla heard her speaking to someone in the room with her, presumably her father, Shawn. "Yes, it's her!" Then she spoke into the phone again. "Oh, I'm so glad you called. We've been missing you!"

"I've been missing you too, Mom. Say, I know you're getting ready to open up there, so I won't keep you long -"

"No, don't worry about that," Caroline interrupted, dismissing her concerns. "Kim's here, and she's already downstairs getting things ready to open up. You're up awful early, though. It must be just after four o'clock there."

Her eyes strayed to the decorative clock on the corner of her desk, reconfirming the hour. "Yeah, it is. I couldn't sleep. I've been thinking about that family gathering you've planned, and I've decided to reconsider. I think maybe it's time to come home for a visit."

Again, Caroline spoke to Shawn, unable to contain her delight. "She's coming home!"

In the background, she heard her father's lilting Irish accent, "Well, it's about time! How soon is she comin'?"

"How soon can you come?" Caroline relayed the message she had already heard.

"If I can get a flight, I'd like to come today."

"That's wonderful! How long can you stay?"

She paused briefly. She hadn't really thought of that, nor had she informed her boss of her plans. "I don't know for sure. I'm hoping I can get Dr. Payne to give me a week."

"You know, we have extra rooms here, so I hope you and Stephanie will consider staying with us. It's been a long time since we've seen you, and we don't want to waste a single moment of it."

There was a hint of a smile in Kayla's voice. "Well, with an offer like that, I wouldn't even consider staying anyplace else. Just don't go to any trouble, okay?"

"Having you home again could never be any trouble."

"Okay. I'm hoping to get a flight out of Los Angeles this morning. I'll send you an email with the details, and get you an arrival time."

"I'll look forward to itl. And Kayla," she added quickly before they disconnected the call. "You've really brightened our day by coming home. We've missed you so much."

"Thanks, Mom. I've missed you too."

Kayla pressed the "end" button on her cordless phone, but as she laid it down on the desk, she allowed her hand to linger on it, overwhelmed by conflicting emotions, wondering suddenly if she had been hasty in making such a spur-of-the-moment decision without talking to her employer first. Her supervisor would almost certainly object to granting time off when her presence was needed. Guiltily, she wondered if perhaps she should think about it and make the decision later, when it was more convenient.

On the other hand, the hospital was always shorthanded, and the time would probably never be a good one for a vacation out of town, where she could not be reached if she was needed. Sometimes, though, it was necessary to look after one's own needs. She was well-known for her giving nature and had, on many occasions, stepped in to cover for others when the need arose, sometimes voluntarily, other times coerced. Although she did not believe in the phrase "turnabout is fair play", she did believe she had earned the right for her own special needs. And right then, she needed to go home.

Withdrawing her hand from the phone, she booted up her computer and searched for airline reservations. After some time, searching various airlines, she managed to piece together an itinerary that would get her and Stephanie home with only one stopover in Chicago before the final flight would arrive in Salem at about four o'clock central time.

With her plans made and the tickets confirmed, she sent the email to her mother, then glanced at the clock again. It was now 5:00, but they would need to be at the airport by 6:45 to get checked in. They still needed to pack their bags and prepare a quick breakfast.

Moving down the hall to the bedrooms, she tapped her knuckles on the door to her daughter's room and waited for an answer. When no response came, she knocked again, louder this time. "Stephanie? I need you to get up now," she called through the closed door. When there was again no answer, she turned the knob and opened the door.

The interior of Stephanie's room was dark, but in the dusky light that entered the room from the hallway through the open door she could make out the long blonde hair that fanned out over the pillow. Kayla knew that the 16 year old girl had expected to be allowed to sleep late, as she herself had hoped to do. She hated to disappoint her, but there was no avoiding it.

"Stephanie, I need you to wake up," she said in a firm tone.

Stephanie's head turned on her pillow to look at the illuminated numbers on the alarm clock on her bedside table, then groaned in dismay. "Mom, it's only five o'clock!" she complained in a normal whiny teenager's voice.

"I know, honey, but something's come up. I'll give you a few minutes to wake up, but then you need to get out of bed. I'm going to start breakfast, and we can talk at the table." She started to pull the door closed again, but Stephanie had not made a move to get up, so she added, "Don't go back to sleep, or I'll come in after you."

She closed the door, hoping she did not have to follow through with that threat. Like most teenagers she had ever known, her daughter maintained a rather messy room. It was a rite of passage, she supposed, a part of growing up, but in the low light it should have been declared a danger zone, where tripping was almost guaranteed.

With her daughter awake and hopefully preparing to get up, she went to the kitchen to start breakfast. She placed the last of the strips of bacon in a skillet, and while they fried, she cracked a couple of eggs and beat them in a bowl. When the bacon was done, she divided them on two plates.

Stephanie still had not made an appearance, and she was just about to go get her when she heard the door to her daughter's room open. Satisfied that the girl had obeyed, however reluctantly or resentfully, she poured the eggs into the skillet to scramble and pushed two slices of bread into the toaster.

Bleary eyed and with her blonde hair mussed, Stephanie walked into the kitchen, still wearing the thigh length over sized tee shirt that served as her nightwear. She looked sleepy and sullen at having been awakened earlier than she had hoped. Plopping down on one of the chairs at the breakfast table with a loud sigh, she demanded in a resentful voice, "So what's the big emergency?"

Kayla glanced up from the eggs. "Don't take that tone with me," she warned.

Stephanie sighed. Her mother would not allow to her to talk to her in the same way her friends spoke to their mothers. "Sorry, Mom. It's just that I was up late last night, and I was hoping I could sleep late this morning. It is summer."

"Maybe you shouldn't stay on the phone half the night," Kayla suggested. Like most teens, Stephanie spent too much time on the phone, but Kayla knew she had been no different at that age. "Well, you can sleep on the plane."

That woke her up. Her head swiveled toward her mother. "Plane?"

"We're flying to Salem, so you need to get dressed right after we eat and pack enough things to last at least a week. If we're there longer, we'll use Mom's washer."

Aware, now, that her mother was agitated, she asked, "Did something happen? Are Grandma and Grandpa okay?"

"Everyone's fine. I told a couple of weeks ago that my sister, Kim, was going to Salem for a visit and that Mom had invited us to join them."

"Yeah, but you said we weren't going. Something about being too busy at the hospital."

"I changed my mind."

Stephanie fell silent, thinking about that. Spending a week or more with grandparents and aunts and uncles she barely knew and rarely saw was not her idea of a fun summer holiday. She would much rather stay in California with her friends. "Mom, can't I stay here? Maria's mom wouldn't mind if I stayed with them until you get back."

Kayla glanced at her sharply. She considered herself a lenient mom, but Maria's mother made her look like a prison warden. "I'm sure she wouldn't, but that doesn't really matter. Honey, your grandparents hardly ever get to see you."

Stephanie sighed again, wondering why parents always laid a guilt trip on you when they wanted you to do something you'd rather not do. "I know. It's just that . . . " Her voice trailed, ending in another sigh.

"I know. You don't really know anyone there. I understand that, and it's my fault for not taking you back to visit." Her voice was sympathetic, but also demonstrated parental authority. "And stop sighing. You've made your point."

Stephanie knew it would do no good to argue. "So why did you change your mind?"

Kayla turned off the burner and divided the eggs between the two plates, then carried them to the table. One was placed in front of Stephanie, the other at her own place. She sat down. "I can't explain it, but I just think it's time to go back to see your father's grave."

Stephanie nodded, more of an acknowledgement than an agreement. Her mother had occasionally expressed an interest in going back to Salem one day, but the spur-of-the moment decision had caught her off guard. With an expression of typical teen skepticism, she said, "So we're flying all the way back there just to see a grave?"

"Not just 'a' grave, Stephanie. Your poppa's. And I also want to visit with my family. I haven't seen them in years. Mom and Pop aren't getting any younger. Like I said, I can't explain it, but I need to do this. And I need you with me. I think it would be nice if we could visit your father's grave together."

Stephanie was quiet for a long time, pushing her eggs around her plate with her fork. It was hard to work up an appetite that early in the morning. Her father's absence was a hole in her life that she had always lived with. Some of her friends had parents who were divorced, but their dads were alive and available if they were needed, even if it was just occasionally for some. She had no memory of what it was like to be cuddled in the strong arms of a loving father.

"I wish I could remember him," she said at last.

There was enough regret in Stephanie's voice that Kayla felt the burn of tears behind her eyes. "So do I," she agreed. "He loved you so much. He called you his 'little sweetness', and he'd sit with you in the rocking chair for hours, just rocking and talking to you and singing to you. He had a pretty good singing voice, and you loved to listen to him." She blinked back the tears and quickly averted her eyes, concentrating on the food on her plate that she no longer wanted.

Stephanie watched her mother's reaction with worried eyes. Kayla had told her all those stories before in an effort to bring reality to the pictures of him that were scattered about the condo, but she had never seen her that close to breaking down. "Mom, Dad died a long time ago. Shouldn't you be over him now?"

"It isn't that I'm not over him," Kayla said in a defensive tone. "It's just the right time to go back."

"Do you think . . ." She stopped, then tried again. "Mom, I know you really loved Dad, but I was just sort of thinking that you never go out, and -"

"I go out," Kayla interrupted, knowing where her daughter was going with this.

"Yeah, but not very often."

Kayla's voice became slightly animated. "I don't really have time to go out much. My work at the hospital doesn't leave much time for a social life."

"That's my point. Maybe you're working too hard. Maybe you need to get out and have fun. You need to start dating."

An irrational sense of impatience surged, but Kayla was careful to tamp it down. She did not want to hurt her daughter's feelings when she was merely expressing concern. "I do date," she replied, but the statement sounded defensive.

"Not very often, and you never go out with the same guy twice."

Kayla looked away, unable to deny the truth. With one date, it was easy to keep them at arm's length. A second date implied interest and they expected more than she was willing to give. She tried to sound cheerful as she replied, "How do you teenagers say it - We just didn't click."

Despite her resentment at being pulled out of bed so early, Stephanie could not help but smile at her mother's attempt at modern lingo, then abruptly sobered again. "I know what you're doing, Mom. You don't want to let anyone else get too close."

Kayla stood up to clear the table, dismissing the subject. "And I don't want to talk about this. Finish your breakfast and get dressed, then pack your suitcase. We have to leave for the airport within the hour."

Stephanie gave a defeated sigh, then finished her breakfast as she had been told.

Kayla put her dish in the dishwasher, thinking about her daughter's concerns. She was touched that Stephanie was worried about her, but even she was puzzled by her own reluctance to let anyone else get close to her. Many widows remarried and went on to have loving, stable relationships and happy lives with a new partner. Why didn't she want that? Why did it feel so wrong?

I'm married to my work, she realized. Pushing aside that thought, she said, "When you're finished, go pack."

While Stephanie finished her breakfast, Kayla went to her own bedroom and sorted through her closet to select the items she wanted to take with her and packed them in her navy blue suitcase.

A half hour later, she went back to the living room to place the phone call she had been delaying.

She knew her supervisor typically arrived at the hospital around 6:00, where he enjoyed bagels or sweet rolls and coffee for a quick breakfast at his desk and read the newspaper before beginning his rounds at 7:00. Therefore, she knew he would not appreciate being disturbed during his quiet time, but it could not be helped this time.

Steeling herself for the expected rebuff when he saw her name on his caller I.D., she placed the call to his direct line, and a few moments later, the stern voice of Doctor Gary Payne came on the line, mildly annoyed at being disturbed. "Kayla? Is everything all right? I know this is your day off. Are you ill?"

It was a question spoken out of concern for her well-being, and a guilty feeling surged inside her, regretting that she could not adequately explain her situation to her employer. She knew he would not understand, that he would think her needs trivial. Even worse, Shawn Brady had instilled his strong work ethic on all his children, but Kayla had felt it more keenly than had her siblings. She was the one who never missed a day of work unless she was too sick to crawl out of bed, who nearly always arrived early and left late, and now she must ask for a leave of absence when she had never done so before.

"No, I'm not ill," she replied. "Gary, I hate to ask, but I need a favor. I'm sorry to spring this on you with such short notice, but something has come up and I need to ask for a leave of absence. I need to fly back to Salem, my hometown."

"Nothing serious with your family, I hope," he said, sincerely.

"No, no, nothing like that," she replied quickly, her voice slightly animated. "It's personal in nature, but it's something I can't put off. I really need to take care of it right away."

There was a lengthy pause on the other end of the line, and Kayla could easily imagine him leaning back in his chair and tugging on the course hairs of his goatee, a habit in which he engaged whenever he was thinking or when he was puzzled. "Well, Kayla, you know this isn't really a good time. We have several staffers on vacation, and we're shorthanded to begin with."

"I know, and I'm really sorry about this. I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important, but I can't put this off." There was an audible note of desperation in her voice that he did not fail to comprehend.

"I can hear in your voice that you're upset," he said, kindly. "Is it something I might be able to help you with?"

"No. I wish it was that simple, but it isn't. It's complicated."

"Just how long of a leave are we talking about?"

"That's hard to say. A week. Maybe more. I have a lot of unused vacation time stacked up, but it can be unpaid leave," she assured him. "Given the current medical climate here in L.A., I certainly wouldn't expect to be paid when I'm not there to do the work. It's just . . . I just really need to go home for a while."

She heard him sigh, a signal that he was giving in, albeit reluctantly. "All right, Kayla. You know you're one of my best and most dependable employees. I suppose we can find someone to fill in for you while you're away. I'll let personnel know that you won't be in for a week."

"Thank you, Gary. I really appreciate this."

A week, he had said. She was uncertain if a week would suffice, but it was a start. Once there, if necessary, she could call and request another.