AN: I'm expecting questions after this chapter - my inbox is open! You can also find me on Tumblr if you have questions. Thank you so much for reading! Enjoy!
When Quinn woke in the morning she was confused as to where she was. Her cheek was plastered to something warm that moved and gurgled quietly, and the TV in front of her was definitely not the one Rachel had talked her into getting.
Her memory from the previous day came back in pieces, quick startling flashes that had her tensing immediately. Gunfire, sending the kids away, fighting with Rachel, but everything past arriving at Ryan and Allison's was fuzzy; she did remember taking a pill and sort of recalled asking Rachel to be her pillow.
Licking at her lips and wincing at the film on them, Quinn craned her head up and couldn't help but smile when she saw Rachel watching her with tired eyes. "Hey."
"Good morning, sleepyhead," Rachel murmured back. "How do you feel?"
"Vacant," Quinn eventually settled on, running her tongue around her mouth. She sat up on her elbows and peered down at Rachel's stomach, horrified to find a damp spot with a white ring around it. "Oh my God, I drooled on you," she hissed, completely mortified. Their infant son drooled on them - she was a grown woman!
"It was kind of cute," Rachel said. "Can you sit up though? My neck's stiff."
Quinn heaved herself regretfully off of Rachel's warm body and slouched back against the other arm rest. Worried she'd injured Rachel somehow, she tracked Rachel's movement as her wife sat up with a groan and rolled her neck around a couple of times. "I'm sorry."
Rachel smiled sweetly, if sleepily, brown eyes flashing over at her. "I'm not."
"Thank you for last night," Quinn said, fidgeting as more memories trickled in.
"Quinn, as adorable as you are when you're shy, you don't have to thank me. I like taking care of you... when you let me."
"I'll work on it," Quinn promised, reaching across the couch to take Rachel's hand. "I'm going to work on all of it."
Rachel's smile softened, "I know you will. How are you feeling?"
"Still tired, but better," Quinn said, though she frowned as she looked around the room. "This might sound crazy, but I miss the noise."
Normally they had a few precious minutes first thing in the morning before the house was filled with the sounds of children. A few moments before Caleb would be crying for food and attention, and then the girls would be rushing around asking about breakfast and whining about clothes. No matter how irritated she could get with the pestering and stress of their hectic mornings she missed those little faces so badly. Liv pouting and asking if she could have coffee, Eliza cuddling up to her still sleepy and clingy, and Caleb... Caleb offering her his pacifier and squealing when she kissed his chubby cheeks.
"I miss them too," Rachel said. "Maybe we could Skype with them later?"
Nodding, Quinn tugged at Rachel's hand and leaned back against the armrest, just like Rachel had the night before. Thankfully Rachel seemed to understand what she was doing and allowed Quinn to pull her over and down onto her body. Quinn sighed as Rachel's head landed on her chest, and she wove her hands through thick, dark hair. "I slept through my alarm didn't I?"
"No. It hasn't gone off yet, actually."
Quinn stilled and narrowed her eyes to try and read the time on the DVD player. "Why were you awake then?"
"My thoughts were too busy to be conducive to good sleep," Rachel answered as only Rachel could after forgoing sleep - primly and with a big word thrown in for good measure.
"You're in the studio today, right?" Quinn asked worriedly, picking back up with sifting through Rachel's hair. Rachel hummed and nodded, one of her hands slipping up under Quinn's shirt and splaying out over her ribs. "So you won't be gone all day?"
"I'll be done this afternoon, I think," Rachel said, and Quinn could tell, just from her tone, that she'd closed her eyes.
"I'm thinking I should take the day off and go with you," Quinn confessed, squirming at the slightly ticklish sensation of Rachel drawing shapes against her skin.
"... Because of yesterday."
The urge to say 'duh' flared, but Quinn shook her head instead. "I don't like the idea of you being on your own right now."
"Quinn, we agreed that we couldn't let this change our routine - if we do we could be running forever."
"I want you to be safe," Quinn whispered, squeezing her eyes tightly shut. Hearing Rachel scream the day before and knowing that the shooter could have easily taken Rachel from her made her sick. She bent her head and pressed her mouth against Rachel's hair and held it until the trembling eased.
"I'm scared too," Rachel mumbled after the long pause. "But I'm not going to live my life afraid of everything that might happen. Plus, I trust you to catch this guy. I need you to, because I don't know how I'm going to get through this day knowing our kids aren't home."
"I'd like to say something reassuring," Quinn said against her hair, unwilling to move away from the comfort of having the crown of Rachel's head against her lips. "But all I can think of is 'I will'."
"I know you will," Rachel sighed, squirming to get more comfortable, eyes still stubbornly closed. She relaxed further, and almost purred in contentment when Quinn started scratching at her scalp. Neither said another word, happy to have a second to bask in the silence.
"Good morning," Ryan sang out, dancing into the room and breaking the moment as only he ever could.
Quinn jumped and Rachel whined because the movement caused Quinn's teeth to collide with her head.
"Oh, sorry, inside voice," Ryan said, bending over the back of the couch and ruffling Quinn and Rachel's hair. "Did I interrupt a Hallmark moment?"
"You're five," Quinn groaned, dropping her head back against the armrest.
"No, I'm six - my birthday was last month, remember?"
"Allison, make him go away," Rachel called.
"Ryan," Allison said, also popping up over the back of the couch. "Go start the coffee and leave them alone."
He saluted her smartly, kissed the side of her head, and spared a cheeky wink for Quinn before he disappeared from her line of sight. Allison smiled down at them apologetically.
"Sorry, I don't know how it happened, but I married a morning person."
"Normally I'd be singing and dancing right along with him," Rachel grumbled and hid her face further in Quinn's chest. "Today I want the sun to die."
"Understandable." Allison chuckled and leaned further over the back of the sofa, long blonde hair falling over her face as she tried to dip far enough to see Rachel's. "As cute as you two are - and it's sort of ridiculous just how cute you are - if you actually intend to go to work, Q, you might want to commandeer the shower."
"Yeah," Quinn agreed half-heartedly. "Maybe I'll feel less zombie-like after."
Rachel frowned and picked her head up from Quinn's sternum, "The pill? You only had half of one."
Quinn shrugged and tapped Rachel on the tip of her nose, "What can I say... I'm a light-weight."
"Al, can you take Semper out?" Ryan called and Allison grinned upside down at them before disappearing.
"Could I talk you into allowing me to share your shower?" Rachel asked, playing her fingers along Quinn's ribs like piano keys. "Then maybe we could Skype with Cam before you leave?"
"I'm not sure about the shower," Quinn said, toying with a lock of Rachel's hair. "With Ryan around anything could happen. But I really like the idea of Skyping."
"Can't forget the Ryan element. What if I promise to throw a tantrum the likes of which he's never seen if he dares to pull one of his impish pranks while we're in the shower?"
"Scary," Quinn approved with a quirked eyebrow and small smirk. "Let's hurry then, and maybe he won't notice..."
"After you," Rachel said, pushing herself off of Quinn and sliding her feet onto the floor.
Quinn took Rachel's hand and tugged her along, holding her free hand up to her mouth in the universal 'quiet' hand signal. Rachel stifled a giggle and nodded, plastering her game face on as she stealthily followed Quinn past the kitchen.
They made it to the bathroom without being noticed and Rachel happily high fived Quinn and then fist pumped in triumph, making Quinn grin.
With the shower turned on extra hot for her benefit, Rachel turned her attention to untying the baggy scrubs she'd spent the night in. They were actually Quinn's scrubs, a pair that Quinn had worn home from one of her various hospital stays. Normally Rachel wouldn't be caught dead in them, but they were so comfortable and she loved stealing Quinn's clothes. In fact, once she'd untied and dropped the scrubs to the floor, she dragged Quinn's borrowed Georgetown t-shirt off over her head.
"I sometimes wonder why you still have your own pajama drawer, since you always end up in mine," Quinn commented.
Rachel shrugged and stuck her hand in the shower stall to test the water. "I like wearing your clothes," she explained simply, winking over her shoulder.
Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel from behind and herded her into the steamy shower stall. "Well I like your adorable pajamas. Those pink flannel ones with the stars in particular."
"Noted," Rachel said, sighing in pure bliss as the near scalding water pounded down on her tense neck and shoulders.
"We need to talk about something," Quinn said, grabbing Rachel's shoulders and shuffling her around so she could take a turn under the water. "Just in case."
"In case of what?" Rachel asked distractedly, groaning when she realized she'd left her shampoo and conditioner in their bag. She'd have to borrow Allison's.
"In case..." Quinn said gravely, smoothly swapping Rachel positions again once she was finished lathering her hair. "In case something happens. I want you to have a 'code' word if you need to tell me you're in trouble and can't just say it."
"Very Bond," Rachel said, attempting to force some levity into their less than humorous topic of conversation. "I approve. How about 'I left my coat'?"
"That will work," Quinn agreed, grunting when Rachel pressed on her stomach. "What?"
Peering up at Quinn through the water running down her face, Rachel smiled timidly. "You're being protective."
Quinn quirked an eyebrow and wiped at the shampoo meandering down her forehead. "Of course I am."
Rachel wrapped her arms around Quinn's waist and pressed in close, keeping hold of her as she turned and put Quinn under the water.
"Thank you," she said. "I don't say it, but I should. Thank you for taking care of me."
Baffled, but charmed, Quinn kissed the top of Rachel's head. "You don't have to thank me."
"You're always protecting me, and the kids, and sometimes it drives me crazy but you keep us safe and..." Rachel trailed off and squeezed Quinn tighter. "Thank you."
"Rachel, I - Ah! Ow, ow, ow!"
Jerking back in confusion, Rachel saw Quinn hopping up and down and rubbing at her eye. It was really hard not to laugh, once she realized what had happened. "Here, here," she said, reaching up to swipe the suds out of Quinn's face. "Better?"
"It burns!" Quinn whined, still rubbing at her eye. "I haven't gotten shampoo in my eye since high school."
"So much for our tender moment," Rachel sighed. "Finish up here and then Skype before work?"
"Yeah," Quinn agreed. "That sounds nice."
Excited about seeing their kids, Rachel rushed through the rest of the shower, silently loving how synchronized she was with Quinn in sharing the shower. They had it down to an art at this point. For a moment it almost felt like they were at home, rushing to get ready before the twins woke up and came bouncing into the room. Quinn even copped a feel more than once with that familiar mischievous smirk until Rachel batted her hands away.
It wasn't until they exited, grappling over a towel, that Rachel realized that the towel Quinn was trying to wrestle away from her wasn't the one from home - the one splotched pink due to Olivia's attempts at 'helping' with laundry. The bathroom was the wrong color and a different set up than theirs, too.
Rachel's smile fell, and then Quinn's did as well. "Rach?"
Unable to voice all her clashing emotions, Rachel merely shook her head. Quinn cupped her cheek and brushed the soft towel along the other cheek, drying the moisture still there. Teary eyed, Rachel turned her face into Quinn's warm palm.
"It's going to be okay," Quinn said and tugged Rachel into her arms. "I promise."
"I'm worried about you and the kids and I want to go home," Rachel admitted, trying so hard not to cry.
"Everything is going to be okay," Quinn repeated firmly, palming the back of Rachel's wet head and swaying them from side to side. "I'm not going to stop until we're safe and back home."
"I don't want you to get hurt," Rachel whispered, seeing the scar that never ceased to haunt her marking Quinn's skin. "Promise me you'll be careful."
"Rachel, I promise I will do everything in my power to stay out of harm's way, but I will fix this so we can all go home."
Rachel nodded and lightly kissed the scar, sealing the promise away in her mind with the gesture.
After a few more moments of leaning on each other – until the steam in the bathroom had almost cleared entirely – Rachel and Quinn emerged from the bathroom with matching looks of determination.
Ryan was resting against the wall opposite the door and merely raised an eyebrow at them. "I was going to yell fire, or spider, or something, but I figured my girls could use a moment..."
Quinn eyed him suspiciously as Rachel went straight to him and hugged him tightly. "I knew there was an adult lurking in there somewhere," Rachel said, squeezing him.
"You didn't defile my shower did you?" Ryan asked after clearing his throat. It was his job to be the big kid, the light-hearted guy that could take the sting out of most situations. He wanted nothing more than to do his job for them after seeing just what a mess they both were the previous evening. "I'm a man, you know, and I'm not beyond peeing on things to mark my territory. That is my shower and the only fornication that should take place in it should involve me."
Disgusted, but knowing exactly what he was doing, Rachel lightly slapped his chest with a huff and retreated back to Quinn's side.
"You're ridiculous," Quinn commented, looping her arm around Rachel and leading her away from him.
"I'm a guy - a guy. You can't turn off all that instinct; it's ingrained," Ryan called after them, smirking to himself when Quinn snorted. Mission accomplished! Pleased with his success he disappeared into the bathroom and made sure to shriek loudly about the 'sex smell'.
"He's so full of it," Quinn whispered down to Rachel with a grin.
They broke off, Quinn heading into the guest room to retrieve her laptop and Rachel off towards the kitchen to see if she could help Allison make breakfast.
"You'd think after living with him for this long I'd be used to his antics," Allison said when Rachel turned the corner into the kitchen. "Yet, I'm still surprised how big a goof he is."
"You think he knows that we're on to his game?" Rachel asked, accepting the soy yogurt Allison passed her with a smile.
"No idea, but it's best to let him believe we're all oblivious," Allison stage whispered and went back to stirring scrambled eggs. "There's fruit in the fridge and granola in the pantry for your yogurt, if you'd like."
"Excellent," Rachel said, digging into the fridge and grabbing the package of blueberries. "Since when do you eat soy yogurt?"
"When Q called and asked if you guys could stay here I sent Ryan out to get some vegan friendly foods. I did try one though, not bad." Allison turned away from the skillet and bent to pull out another one. "I think there's some fake sausage in the freezer if you want that too."
"No, this is perfect. Would you like me to cook the bacon?" Rachel grinned at her friend's surprised look. "I don't eat it, but Quinn does and I've learned to tolerate cooking it."
"What a good house wife," Allison teased, dodging the swat Rachel aimed at her. "I've got this. You go – get out of my kitchen – go Skype with your kids."
Right on time, Quinn came into view toting her laptop in one hand, the other holding her cell phone to her ear. "Yeah, thanks Cam," she said and then dropped her phone on the couch. "Cam's getting the girls up. I told her to let Caleb sleep; I don't want to upset him."
Rachel swallowed the sudden lump in her throat and quickly darted to Quinn's side, sitting on the couch and pulling Quinn down beside her. "That's – you're right; he'd probably throw a fit." She was disappointed that she wouldn't be able to see him, unbearably so, but watching him cry would only make the separation worse for all of them.
Clutching at Quinn's hand to keep from fidgeting, Rachel tried to sit still and be patient as the laptop booted up and Quinn typed her password in one-handed. She leaned over to rest her head on Quinn's shoulder and chewed on her bottom lip. Quinn's background came up and Rachel's eyes grew blurry at just the sight of it. The twins grinned at them from the screen, Caleb sitting between them with a perplexed look on his little face, head cocked to the side like a puppy.
They'd only been gone for one night and Rachel already felt like it had been a lifetime.
"Rachel," Quinn said quietly, brushing at the tears on Rachel's face. "Superstar…"
"I know," Rachel said and shook her head, screwing her eyes shut and internally reciting the words to Defying Gravity. "Okay, I've got it under control."
Quinn opened Skype and soon after Cam appeared on the screen. She waved at them and then adjusted the camera so they could see Olivia and Eliza slumped together on the couch. "Girls, you want to say good morning?"
"Mommy, it's early," Olivia whined, her head nestled on Eliza's shoulder.
Eliza rubbed a tiny fist against her eye and peered at the laptop. "Mama, you look funny on the computer."
"Do I?" Quinn asked thickly. Rachel swirled her thumb in small, comforting circles against Quinn's hand. "Did you guys sleep okay?"
"I had a bad dream," Liv said, curling even closer to Eliza.
Rachel's heart dropped into her stomach, "Oh, Monkey, I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"
"You and Mama were yelling and I tried to find you and I couldn't, then a monster took you away and Mama was crying." Liv raised her head and peered directly into the camera. "It was scary. Mama you won't let monsters get Mommy, right?"
"No," Quinn said, clutching harder at Rachel's hand. "Nobody's going to get your Mommy. Monsters aren't real, Livvy, but even if they were I'd never let them get any of you."
"Told you," Eliza said, eyelids drooping rapidly. "Can we come home? I left Pokey, and Livvy forgot Tony."
"I don't need Tony," Liv mumbled. "Stuffies are for babies like Caleb."
Rachel smiled knowingly. "Tony and Pokey are in your backpacks; I thought they might want to go with you." They were talking about the super soft, floppy, adorable, stuffed ponies that Leroy and Hiram had given them. Neither girl had been able to say 'pony' but they got pretty close. Rachel was always amused at Liv naming hers 'Tony'. It reminded her of herself, though her Tony was an award, not a stuffed horse. Tony was black with a white blaze and Pokey was a sort of blonde color with a white star. Rachel had been inordinately glad that her fathers had thought ahead and not bought matching ponies for their granddaughters. There was enough screaming in the house over who took whose pony without them being identical.
Judging from Liv's relieved expression, Rachel was right in packing Tony. Liv liked to say that she wasn't a baby and she no longer carted him around everywhere she went, but Rachel knew that he liked to hide under Liv's pillow and she'd caught Liv holding onto him in the middle of the night more than once.
"Maybe Tony needs you, Livvy," Quinn said. "He would probably be super lonely at home without you."
Cam stood up and left the frame, Eliza watching her intently and Liv still blinking sleepily at the camera. "Really?"
Quinn nodded very seriously and Rachel hid a smile behind her hand. "Really, really."
Eliza grabbed Pokey from Cam's hand and squashed him to her chest; Liv was gentler when she accepted Tony, patting his head.
"What do you say?" Rachel asked.
"Thank you, Aunt Cam," they said, curling back up together.
"And?" Quinn prompted with a raised eyebrow. She pointed at Rachel and waited for them to get it.
"Thank you for packing Tony and Pokey, Mommy," Eliza said.
Liv nodded, "Thank you, Mommy."
"You're welcome," Rachel said.
"I have to go to work now, babies," Quinn said and blew a kiss to the camera. "I love you. Give Caleb a kiss for me, okay?"
"Love you," they said, blowing kisses back.
"I miss you. Have fun with your cousins - I can't wait to hear about your adventures," Rachel told them, bottom lip once again caught in her teeth.
"Miss you," Liv said.
"Miss you lots, Mommy," Eliza chimed in.
They waved at the screen and then hopped off the couch, free hands clasped together and stuffed best friends under their arms. Cam watched them go, speaking to Sean off camera about getting breakfast going.
"You two going to be alright?" she asked with a knowing expression. "It's hard being away from them."
"We'll be okay; I'll call you later to check in again." Quinn kissed the side of Rachel's head and Cam nodded, disconnecting the call.
"How are you so calm?" Rachel asked, circling her arms fully around Quinn's neck and laying her head on Quinn's shoulder. "Why am I the only one crying?"
Quinn cleared her throat, not nearly as stoic as Rachel had assumed. "I compartmentalize."
Rachel laughed shortly and attempted to push herself even closer, taking in all the comfort she could. "Liar."
"Okay, so I suck at compartmentalizing," Quinn admitted, her voice cracking. "I'm picturing them at the park... Liv and Eliza playing on the monkey bars with you hovering and worrying about them falling and breaking their heads open and Caleb in the baby swing – the way he laughs when you push him and scoots forward when you catch him, wanting to go again. I'm pretending that they're just visiting Cam because you and I had an anniversary coming up and they'll be home tomorrow. Honestly, it's all I can do right now to not be sobbing because it feels like I've ripped out my heart and sent it away." Her throat worked hard, trying to keep tears at bay as she ducked her head down against Rachel's still damp hair and clung to her.
"Quinn," Rachel sniffled, now also picturing the park and games of tag and Caleb 'walking' with Quinn holding on to his hands.
"I know this is awful and painful, but they're safe," Quinn choked out and wiped futilely at her eyes. "They're safe and now I have to keep you safe. So I need to focus and I need you to help me. Can you do that?"
Raising her head, Rachel loosened her hold on Quinn's neck and leaned up to kiss her as hard as she dared, ignoring the whispering of their friends in the background. Quinn responded, just as desperate, her palm against Rachel's warm cheek. Rachel held on to the connection until she absolutely had to pull back and even then didn't go far, letting her temple bump Quinn's forehead. "Yes. Yes, I can do that."
Quinn nodded, kissed Rachel's forehead and then completely disentangled herself, standing from the couch and turning watery eyes onto Allison and Ryan, who were pretending they hadn't been eavesdropping.
"Do I smell bacon?"
"Okay, Rachel, whenever you're ready," Mick said from the other side of the window.
Rachel adjusted her headphones one more time and gave a quick thumbs up, as ready as she could be.
Studio work, for some reason, made her more nervous than singing on stage ever had. It was also frustrating, having to loop certain sections over and over to get it perfect. It didn't happen often, but when it did it made her a bit more than a 'little' crazy. They'd been working for a couple of hours already and she was about ready to make Levi eat the microphone if he told her to 'put more love' into the lyrics one more time.
The opening notes to 'Come What May' filtered through her headphones again and she closed her eyes and allowed herself to get completely lost in the music, flawlessly hitting her cue. As she sang she started to think about the words, and then rather than focusing on chords or stylistic choices she found herself thinking about Quinn.
Quinn's blonde hair and the way it fell all over her face in the morning. That pale skin that refused to hold a tan, no matter how hard Quinn worked at it. Those eyes of hers - they could knock the breath right out of Rachel with the intensity in them. Her lopsided smile and her real laugh. How her nose wrinkled in her sleep and the way she whined if Rachel tried to get out of bed before she was awake.
Memories flickered behind Rachel's closed eyelids - a montage featuring her wife - and all the while Rachel sang. Then an image came, or maybe a memory, perhaps just something she imagined. It was Quinn sitting cross-legged on their bed, typing away at her laptop with that furrow of concentration in her brow. Glasses balanced on her nose, framing those electrifying eyes, her hair in a messy ponytail. She looked up and smiled crookedly, setting the laptop aside as she reached out with one hand, beckoning Rachel forward. Rachel stared at figment Quinn, heard her laughter ringing inside her head, and felt like her heart would burst from her chest. Quinn laughed again, gesturing more adamantly for Rachel to come to her; Rachel wanted to, she wanted to so badly, even if it was just inside her head. She wanted to feel the warmth of that skin and the softness of Quinn's hair. It was so simple and it was everything.
Rachel sang her heart out, barely noticing the song drawing to a close in time to cut off her last note correctly. Opening her eyes, she blushed at the look on Mick and Levi's faces as they gaped at her. "Sorry," she said, clearing her throat daintily. "I got caught up in the moment."
"I'll say," Mick replied, gesturing for her to come out of the recording room. "Let's have a listen."
Rachel stepped out of the room and checked her watch before sinking down onto the couch next to her manager, Levi, who was beaming at her.
"You were thinking about Quinn, weren't you?" Levi asked as Mick played the track back for them.
"Well I certainly wasn't singing it to Finn," Rachel answered, giggling at her inside joke and the confused look on his face. "Never mind. Yes, I was thinking of Quinn, if you must know."
"If you could do that every time..." Levi said, nudging her lightly with his elbow. "Not that you aren't always magnificent, but sweet Jesus on toast, lady - I'm pretty sure Mick teared up!"
"Only Mick?" Rachel sighed, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "How disappointing. I'm losing my touch."
"Babe, you're going to steal more hearts than you know what to do with," Mick commented with an eyebrow raise. "That was magic. Can you think about whoever Quinn is every time? I mean..."
"Quinn is my wife," Rachel said, smiling at Mick's surprised expression. "Not something you read about, I know. I assume once I make a move to film or television they might dig into my personal life more, but for now it's not exactly well known. We like to keep our family life private."
"I won't say a word," Mick promised, drawing an 'X' over his heart with his finger. "Maybe I could meet her at some point?"
Rachel nodded, "Probably. She almost came with me this morning."
"Any one special enough to snare you is worth meeting," Mick said and winked.
Ducking her head and feeling a blush creeping across her face, Rachel shot a glance at the clock and turned to Levi. "Can we pick up after lunch? I'd like to go meet Quinn."
Levi waved her off with his hand, "Go. Text me when you're heading back. Mick and I will have something delivered and work over the track."
Overjoyed, Rachel kissed Levi's cheek in thanks and swiftly gathered her purse, already thinking about the deli she would stop at to get Quinn's favorite sandwich.
"Talk that woman into coming back with you," Mick called teasingly after her.
Ryan's chipper attitude could be grating on a normal day, but on this day it was like fingernails on a chalkboard. Once the lingering drug-aided sleepiness wore off, Quinn was left with a pounding headache and an itching feeling of paranoia that left her muscles painfully tense all day. She was thinking about Rachel, worrying about Rachel, and the longer the day seemed to drag the worse it got.
Rachel had been abducted once before, and now she'd been shot at, and Quinn just could not reconcile her fear that it could happen again.
Listening to Ryan was not high on her list of priorities at the moment, and as obvious as she'd been about that fact, he didn't seem to mind or have any plans on stopping anytime soon.
"Q, you kind of... you don't look very good," he blurted, abruptly snatching her from her ruminations. He'd been prattling on about the Ranger game for the past ten minutes and she'd stopped paying attention shortly after the first.
Quinn glared at him from behind her fingers. "You go from lamenting about hockey straight to 'you look like shit'? How the hell does Allison put up with you?" Annoyed, she tossed the nearest projectile at him - her stress ball - which he caught with infuriating ease and started to squeeze. He even winked. "Why do I put up with you?"
"Because I'm so damn cuddly," he teased, mirth twinkling in his blue eyes as he scooted his chair closer to her desk. He rapped his knuckles on the polished wood surface and ducked his head to try and peek at her face. "You want to take your hands off your face and talk to me about what's turned you into 'zombie Quinn'? It's not just lack of sleep, so don't even pull that on me again. I've seen you in here after a sleepless night with the Tadpole, and I know for fact this isn't sex romp exhaustion. So talk to me, Boss - what's going on?"
"Ryan," she ground out warningly and dropped her hands. "For once leave it alone."
His eyes searched hers, and she let him read what he could, hoping he'd see enough to drop the subject. She should have known better; he'd always been so perceptive.
"Quinn, this is about Lookhart, isn't it?"
The reaction came without any conscious direction from her. Her palms slapped down, hard and loud against her desk, as she stood, fury shooting hotly through her. It took every ounce of self control she had to stay behind her desk, to rein it in before she did something she'd regret. She'd never wanted to hurt him more, never felt the urge so strongly, not directed at him. "Never. Say. That name."
"Quinn?"
"Never," she raged, shaking as she fought herself. They stared at one another for a few tense seconds until she just couldn't stay upright anymore and slumped back down into her chair.
"You said you saw the shrink," he finally whispered, low and smooth, the way one would speak to a spooked animal.
She couldn't resent him for it, suddenly exhausted again and embarrassed with herself. "I did."
"Maybe you should go back?"
Quinn frowned, scrubbing her hands over her face. "No. There's... there's nothing he can do that I don't already know. It's fine, Ryan. It's just this whole thing with the shooter dredging up memories, and it's a trigger, plus the stress of - I've got to keep Rachel safe and my children had to be sent away. I can deal. I have to."
Ryan stood carefully, approaching her cautiously until he was close enough to slide his hand over her bowed head. "I worry about you, you know. You, Rachel, and the munchkins are my family. There's no shame in asking for help, Qball. In getting help. From me, or Rachel, or the head doctor. From whomever. It doesn't make you weak."
"You forget, I studied the same stuff the 'head doctor' did," she said as she cracked a pathetic smile up at him.
He shot a quick glance at the open office door, then bent and pressed the barest of kisses to her temple. "I know, I know, you're all Brainy Smurf and whatever. Just take care of your head."
It was hard to keep from skipping like a schoolgirl on her way into Quinn's office, hands full with her cell phone and the bags containing Quinn's sandwich and her vegan friendly one from Blossom Du Jour.
Rachel beamed at the agent who greeted her at the elevator, chirping a bright 'hello' at him and politely requesting Quinn's floor. He smiled tightly back and jammed his finger into the requested button. Rachel noted that no other floors were lit up, so he was heading the same place - which wasn't odd, she supposed.
As the elevator slowly ascended Rachel began to feel, well, cold in a way. Usually she would be making small talk with someone she assumed to be one of Quinn's co-workers. Instead she found herself fidgeting, waiting impatiently and skittishly for the doors to open so she could escape the oppressive tension in the elevator.
Chiding herself internally did nothing to calm her nerves, and she wondered if her phone would get reception, because she really needed to hear Quinn's voice.
She jerked when a strong hand clamped down over hers around her phone, and closed her eyes as dread washed over her. Something hard dug into the base of her spine, and she knew it was a gun. Somehow she'd known - a part of her had known this was coming.
"That's right," a low voice said against her ear, so close she could feel his lips move against her skin. She shuddered in revulsion, gasping when he dug the muzzle of his gun harder into her back. Her eyelids flew back up and she twisted slightly to see his face more clearly, whimpering when she met hard brown eyes. "I will shoot you, if you don't do exactly as I say. Okay, Mrs. Fabray?"
"Quinn is going to kill you," Rachel promised through gritted teeth as he slid the tip of his nose around her ear. She could literally feel him smirking, and rage as well as fear worked its way through her.
"We'll see about that," he threatened, twisting her wrist around to look at her phone. "The kids are cuter in person," he commented as her background popped up. "Call Quinn. Get her to meet you on the roof, alone. I swear to you, if you say anything about me, if you warn her in any way, I will make you watch me hurt your children. Do you understand?"
Rachel nodded, nice and slow, swallowing a whimper at the thought of him getting his hands on her babies. Her stomach twisted painfully as she tightened her hold on her phone. As much as she generally loathed violence, especially knowing exactly what it would cost Quinn to pull the trigger, she'd never really wanted someone dead as much as she did then. She might have joked about wanting to 'kill' people - she'd even thrown a few punches in her life - and she'd once told Mr. Schuester that she wanted Jesse St. James to get eaten by a lion, but never, never, had she actually wanted anyone to die. Not until that moment. Not until someone threatened her children. "I understand."
"You're a good mother," he sneered. "Call Quinn."
Remembering her conversation with Quinn just that morning about 'codewords', Rachel prepared herself to use all of her acting prowess to get through the next few moments. She needed him to believe that what she was about to say to Quinn was genuine.
She dialed the number with shaking fingers and pulled the phone up to her ear, noting that while he was watching her closely he didn't seem to mind that she'd chosen to awkwardly lift her phone to her left ear, rather than her right. With a secretive flip of her fingernail she silenced the phone and easily turned down the volume, hoping it would work to further dampen the sound so he couldn't hear what Quinn was saying.
The line rang twice and then clicked as Quinn picked up, her voice dimmed to where Rachel could barely hear it.
"Rachel, I was just about to call you. God, I really need to hear your voice," Quinn said, so tired sounding that Rachel's heart ached for her. For both of them.
"Baby," Rachel said, steadfastly looking straight ahead, watching the warped reflection of her captor in the doors instead of meeting his stare. "I brought you lunch."
"You did? I was going to ask if you wanted me to come down to the studio - I'm not... I need to see you. I feel like the walls of my office are closing in."
Rachel hummed and tilted her head, eyes screwing shut as the first wave of tears blinded her. She managed to keep her voice steady but had to clear her throat to keep it from sounding suddenly husky and obviously clogged with tears. "I'm in the elevator right now bringing it to you. Hey, baby? Did I leave my coat in your office?"
The line went so silent all Rachel could hear was her own heartbeat pounding away, so loudly that she wondered if Quinn could hear it too.
"He has you?"
"Yes, that's the one. Could you bring it with you and meet me on the roof? I'm a little on edge," Rachel said, hoping and praying that Quinn could decipher what she was trying to get across.
"It's going to be alright, everything's going to be fine."
"I know, but I thought it might be nice to have some time alone. The fresh air could help shoot down some of my anxiety." She couldn't outright say 'gun', and the closest word she could think of was 'shoot'.
"Rach, clear your throat if he has a gun," Quinn instructed.
Rachel cleared her throat, "I'm fine, baby, it's just a tickle. Don't let Ryan come with you though, I'm serious about wanting you alone."
"Of course he wants me alone," Quinn growled. "I'll be right there. Just do what he says, sweetheart. I'm going to come get you. I promise everything's going to be fine."
"I love you too," Rachel whispered, holding back sniffles and letting her tears roll free. "See you soon."
She hung up and he snatched her phone, a weird twisted smile on his face as he smashed it on the floor. "That was some performance, Mrs. Fabray. I see why you won that shiny monstrosity in your house."
Turning to deliver a verbal lashing, she didn't see his fist coming until it was too late.
Quinn grabbed her pistol, knocking her chair over in her haste to leave the office. She shot a text message off to Ryan who'd left to get them coffee, and hurried to the staircase door. There was no time to plan, no chance for her to sit down and try to figure out what she should or shouldn't do. The bastard who had threatened her family had Rachel. He had her and Quinn could barely think past that. It was dangerous going without a plan, rushing headlong and emotionally with no idea what might happen once she got to the roof.
She didn't bother with stealth as she raced up the steps, her footsteps clanging loudly and echoing, pistol clutched tightly in her hands. With every step she was swallowing back down her heart, and knowing that she needed her mind to be clear wasn't helping her to get it that way. All she could really think was 'Rachel,' and she was so tired, so unfocused and afraid and furious. It was all too much - just too much. There was no way she could hesitate or slow down, not even for a second. Quinn didn't know who had Rachel; she certainly didn't know why, but Rachel was counting on her, needed her, and that's all she could focus on.
Then she was there, at the door, and she still didn't stop, barreling out pistol first and finally staggering to a halt, panting hard.
It was like hitting a brick wall.
"Agent Fabray," he said smoothly, sending shivers all the way from Quinn's head to her toes. He had a pistol in hand, pointed calmly at Quinn, and a wicked looking hunting knife at Rachel's throat.
He sounded just like his brother.
"You?" Quinn asked, completely shocked. It was like she'd known; somehow she'd known. Mark Lookhart, the older brother of Nathan Lookhart, who had tortured her and nearly killed her... He smirked and dug the knife into Rachel's neck a little further, tipping her chin up and forcing a whimper from her. "You son of a bitch," Quinn hissed, stepping forward immediately upon hearing that pained noise.
"Not another step, Agent, or I swear to God I'll slice your wife open," he sneered, immediately freezing Quinn in her tracks. "Drop the gun."
"No," Quinn replied firmly, and in spite of him readjusted her aim so it was pointed directly at his head. "I don't think so."
Rachel was crying, her hands wrapped around his wrist, and Quinn could see the black blossom of a bruise forming on her throat. Her eyes were boring into Quinn, wet and terrified and pleading.
"You put that gun down or I'm going to spray her blood all over you," he snapped.
"What did you do?" Quinn demanded, staring at the deepening bruise and the blood on Rachel's lips.
"I shut her up," he explained, smugly smiling as he turned his head, eyes still on Quinn, putting his mouth on Rachel's ear and wetly kissing it. "Didn't I, songbird?"
Rachel recoiled from the contact, but he jerked her right back and bit into her earlobe.
"Don't," Quinn hissed, taking another involuntary step forward.
"Stay there," he warned. "You know, Agent Fabray, I have to say you've got good taste in women. Mrs. Fabray is gorgeous. I think those girls of yours are going to be as pretty as their Mommy."
"You sick fuck," Quinn seethed, finger tightening on the trigger she was dying to pull.
"And that little blond boy - he's yours right? It's been interesting, seeing your family. You know I've been watching you, don't you? Of course you do. The great Agent Fabray doesn't miss anything."
"What did you do," Quinn repeated, trying to assure Rachel with just a look.
"To your kids? Nothing. Not yet. You and I have some things to talk about though."
TBC...
