Chapter 3:Goodbye is the Saddest Word
Rachel's POV
The air was cold. So were my body, heart and soul. My eyes were fixed on the brown casket before me. No one existed at that moment; only me and the casket holding the woman I dearly loved. Someone pinched me softly on my left shoulder. I turned and saw my eldest brother Bobby signalling at the podium a few feet from where we were standing. I realised it was time for me to go and make a short speech. I walked numbly and I realised that words seemed to have left me that morning. I reached the podium and rested my hands on its sides. I cleared my throat and opened my mouth…
'Ma'
That was all I could whisper. I took a deep breath and searched my mind for more words. There were many things I wanted to say…
'Thank you for everything you have done for my brothers, for the people of this town and for me. You were the perfect mother…you were the perfect friend. You always taught us the right ways…the right things to say…the right things to do. You showed us that this world is not bad as it might seem after all.' I gulped a sob and continued.
'I love you so much ma! Thank you for making me the woman I am today! I want you to know that I never doubted your love ! Thanks ma for being there and for your love and friendship.'
I stepped down from the podium and walked back to my seat next to Bobby and Jerry. I just stared at my feet and heard Jack walk by. It was his turn. I heard him faintly say something about a toothbrush but he burst out into tears. "Oh Jackie you were never good at such things"
Bobby went to his rescue and thanked all those who came to the funeral.
As the priest ended the ritual everyone turned, gave us their condolences and left. I lingered a little longer. I walked the short distance to the casket and knelt down in front of it. I let my upper body lean on it and I started shaking while my tears streamed down my face. With each sob I grabbed more tightly to the casket...I held on it for dear life. After a short while I felt someone taking my shoulders and pulled me apart.
'No please don't take me away from her' I whispered through my tears.
'It's time to go baby sister' said Bobby from behind me and turned me towards him. I nodded to him and turned back one last time.
'Goodbye mama …. I love you!'
xxx
As we exited the gates of the cemetery, I made my way to Jerry's car and climbed in the back seat. As soon as we arrived at Jerry's place I made my way to the kitchen…the best place to avoid all those people. I needed to stay alone and think. I went to the window where I could see my two adorable nieces playing with their dog in the back yard. I took the doorknob of the kitchen door in my hands and made my way outside to them.
'Hey aunt Rachel come play with us' said Daniela.
'Yeah and what are we playing?'
'Uh I dunno. You decide.'
Before I could think of anything I saw Bobby and Jack making their way to us. "Oh he still looks so handsome. I can't believe he still wears that scarf…the scarf I gave him the Christmas before he left."
I looked around trying to make my escape. "I can't face him now…any other time but not now."
Too late! I saw them both already knelt in front of our nieces with Bobby saying to the girls that he was their uncle and passed the same old joke by introducing uncle Cracker Jack.
'You can't be our uncles, you are white.'
'Even grandma Evy is white and so is aunt Rachel. So I guess they can be our uncles. Is that right auntie?'
I looked down at my niece and smiled at her, 'Yes sure sweety they are. Uncle Bobby and Jack are my and your father's brothers.'
'You are a policeman!' said one of my nieces suddenly. I lifted my eyes to look in those of Lt Green. I noticed that the other officer was with him yet again. I saw him look at me strangely, so I excused myself before another word was spoken and made my way back in. I passed the crowded living room and ran my way upstairs.
I was not feeling well. My mind had a mixture of emotions. I grieved for my ma but at the same time I was scared…scared of seeing him again after all this time. I could not believe he was here. "Oh ma what am I going to do? Please help me through this."
'Rachy'
I made my way to the door and opened it to find Jerry at the opposite end.
'We're going home. You want to come?'
'Yeah. Wait a sec I'll be right down ok?'
He nodded and headed for the stairs.
I picked up my stuff and climbed down the stairs.
'You know you can stay all you want honey.'
'Thanks Cammy but I really want to go home and try to start getting my life back together.'
'Bye aunt Rachel' my nieces said in unison.
I knelt down and gave them both a hug, 'Bye sweethearts. Be good for me will ya?' They both nodded and I gave them a small smile.
'The door is always open for you baby ok?'
'Thanks Cammy.' I hugged her and made my way out with my brothers. I rode the short distance to the house with Jerry to avoid Jack for some more time.
When we arrived and made my way to the door and took out my keys. I suddenly jumped as I heard a voice coming from my left side.
'You're not leaving me out here in the cold like this are you?'
'Fuck you Angel you scared me.'
'Oh poor girl did I?'
I shot him a glare that made him crack a small laugh.
'Oh come here sis, I missed you so much!'
I ran into his arms and hugged him tight.
'I missed you too jarhead.'
I turned my key in the door and pushed it open while my brothers greeted each other behind me. I sighed and let myself in. My brothers followed behind me letting an awkward silence to fall in the room.
'Em let me clear my stuff from the living room for you. In the meantime you can take up your old rooms except for you Bobby as I turned your room into mine when you left, but you can always take ma's room if it's ok with you.'
They nodded and made their way upstairs. I cleared the table from the books and other stuff and carried them upstairs to my room. I sat on the bed and heard the water tap running in the bathroom next to my room and immediately new that Bobby was crying. He always did that. Always acting the tough guy but was weak in such situations like the rest of us. After a little while I heard voices coming from the room next to mine – Jack's room!
'She left everything the same,' said Bobby
'You knew that she hoped for you to come back. But you never came back, not even for the holidays.'
As I finished my sentence Angel stepped out of his room all dressed up.
'Where do you think you are going?' asked Bobby
'It's a little heavy in there. I'm going outside for some fresh air.'
'She has a boyfriend Angel, you know?' I said to the disappointment of my brother.
My brothers all looked at me and started to laugh. Bobby started teasing Angel, who climbed down the stairs telling us that we were all wrong. But we knew better.
'I'm going home guys, just call if you need anything.'
'Thanks Jerry. I'll call you when Bobby gets into trouble.'
'Shut up baby sister or I'll come after you!'
'And do what Bobby? Oh my I'm so scared.' I teased my eldest brother.
'Oh let me pass. I need to rest! It was a long journey back here.'
'Goodnight Bobby.'
'Goodnight sis.' He reached down and kissed my forehead 'try and rest ok?'
'I'll try.'
Bobby made his way to ma's room and locked up the door behind him.
I turned to Jerry and went with him to the door.
'Call if you need anything ok?'
I nodded and kissed his cheek.
'Thanks Jerry, for everything.'
'Sweet dreams Rachy.'
'Goodnight Jerry.'
Hope you enjoyed chapter 3. More coming soon but please read and review!!
