When he opened his eyes again, it wasn't because of pain. The door to his room had swung closed. He panicked briefly because he thought he was alone. His chest began to rise and fall more quickly.
"Hey," Hermione's voice came from by his ear, and he exhaled, "I told you I'd be here," Her fingers were in his hair again.
"I..." His throat felt like sandpaper and his mouth tasted sour, "I forgot. I could not see you," He sighed.
She slid her chair down so he could look at her. His dark eyes moved over her face, calculating and needy.
"You need to sleep," He deduced.
She ran a hand through her hair, "Probably. They'll be in to feed you soon."
His eyes opened wide, "Feed me? I'm a grown man," He growled.
She chuckled, "Not what I meant, you bat. I should have spoken more clearly. It's medicinal. Liquid diet," She clarified.
He clicked his tongue, "Hermione Granger... Ineloquent? Merlin. I never thought I'd see the day."
"Oh, hardy-har," She grumbled.
He sneered, "Liquid diet?"
"Eating solid foods while taking that antivenin would be... unpleasant. You'd vomit it up, so they're giving you liquid nutrients for sustenance with anti nausea potions," She said.
"Delicious," He drawled. Fuck this. Weeks? Weeks?
The healer walked in through the swinging door with three vials in hand, "Professor, how are you feeling?" Stefan avoided Hermione's eyes. Idiot boy to earn the lion's wrath.
Severus smirked and then sarcastically said, "I am better since it is you, not I, in the doghouse today."
Hermione glared at him and the healer swallowed nervously, then unstoppered two vials and mixed them and while shaking them, he said, "This will provide you necessary dietary nutrients and vitamins. I have mixed an anti nausea in as well."
He dropped his hand down with the vial toward Severus' good hand, who took it and swallowed gingerly, careful to not arch his neck.
He screwed up his face, "Bloody hell," He said. The fuck is that flavor?
"Sorry, Professor... If we add flavoring, it dilutes the anti nausea," He said softly, as he uncorked the last vial.
"What does it taste like?" Hermione asked.
"Goblin piss," He rumbled. Worse.
"Lots of experience with that?" The healer said with humor. Hermione and Severus silenced him easily with their eyes. Severus sipped the pain medication, and then the healer disappeared.
"You need to rest," He said to Hermione.
She was about to speak, but a silver stag burst into the room. Potter. From it, came the voice of Harry Potter, "Morning, Severus - are you up for a visitor?"
Snape narrowed his dark eyes at the silvery figure and then spoke lowly, "Yes."
The stag titled its head, recorded Snape's answer, and then galloped away out of the room.
"You must sleep, Hermione. You're no fun exhausted," He have her a half smile.
She bit her lip and her eyes flickered, and he asked, "What is it?"
"Every time I've fallen asleep here, I've had... nightmares about you."
"I am rather nightmarish," He quipped, desperately trying to see her smile.
She shook her head, "You... You've died in them," Understanding washed over him. She's afraid she will fall asleep and lose me. Sweet girl.
"I assure you, Hermione, I will be here when you wake up, just as I am now," His voice was even, calm, despite his emotional revelation.
She searched his face for any doubt he might have been hiding, crawled up onto the bed, pulled the blanket over her and him. She curled up in a ball so tiny next to him, he was certain she would disappear entirely. Hermione's extended bed allowed her plenty of room. She was not touching him, probably for fear of hurting him, but he needed contact, so he rested his hand over the blanket on her bent knee. His thumb stroked her leg over the blanket.
He listened as her breathing deepened and he wished so badly he could see her face. I love you, girl. I love you.
Harry walked in and, upon seeing Hermione's sleeping form, he prevented the door from swinging loudly shut.
Potter whispered, "Which side is better?" He flicked his finger to either side of the bed, "Or maybe down here?"
Snape hadn't really thought about it, but now that he was asked to... Looking at someone to his left or right did hurt, at times more than others, especially when they were sitting, "The foot," He said.
Harry summoned a chair, "How long has she been asleep?" He nodded toward Hermione.
"Not long," He answered quietly, "You have your wand?"
Harry raised his eyebrows, and Snape said, "I have yet to find mine... I am also uncertain as to how much magic I could do at present. I want to make sure we don't disturb her," He patted Hermione's knee.
Harry pulled his wand out of his jacket, "Not sure who made this one, but it has proven quiet useful," He pointed his wand at Severus, "Muffilato!"
Snape raised an eyebrow and said dangerously, "You, boy, are already irritating me."
"To be fair, that isn't exactly hard to do," Harry said, his green eyes sparkling. Oh, Lily. He made it.
"I do not remember much after the snake..." Severus said quietly.
"Lucius was running at the entrance of the tunnel when Voldemort commanded the snake to attack you," Harry started, "It took all of the strength Draco and I had to cover Hermione's mouth so she didn't make any noise and to physically keep her away from you. It was... horrible," He looked at his bruised and scabbed knuckles.
Severus looked at his hand and raised his eyebrows in question. Harry answered, "To keep myself quiet. I..." Harry didn't need to finish his sentence.
"I am sorry," Severus said, "I never wanted for any of you to witness that," He squeezed Hermione's knee gently, but emphatically. Most especially her.
Harry looked at Hermione, "She was brilliant, you know? She always is," His green eyes were watery.
Severus didn't respond, and Harry continued, "She had the antivenin in you in less than a minute after the bite. Dittany. Blood-replenishing. Brilliant."
Severus looked at Harry as he talked, "I don't know if I could have done that, if it had been Ginny. Think I would've just... froze."
Snape spoke quietly, "You would be surprised what you can endure for someone you love."
Harry looked at him, "Do you mean Hermione, or my mother?" Snape's eyes narrowed, but there was no malice on the boy's face. You can't expect him not to ask questions.
"Both," Severus said plainly, but his eyes were clouded in emotion.
"You feel..." Harry's watched Snape's face in careful consideration, "Conflicted?" Severus' eyes widened. The boy does have emotional perception? Then, he felt vulnerable and embarrassed.
Harry waited. Of course he's asking it as an actual question. Bloody hell. I can't. Snape averted his eyes away from Potter's and Severus' Adam's Apple began to rise and fall quickly, so Harry added, "Calm down, Severus. If I get you all riled up, they won't let me see you anymore."
Snape closed his eyes and focused on breathing. Keep it together. Keep it together. Keep it together. Harry spoke again, "I'm not really sure what happened after I left the shack. I called Madam Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall. I didn't stay to see them arrive."
"The forest," Snape's eyes opened and were on Harry's again, "What happened?"
"He killed me, well, him, I guess." Harry shrugged.
Severus sneered, "How unceremonious of you, Potter."
"I don't really understand it. I walked up to him, dropped my wand... Er... Draco's wand, and he cast the curse. When I came to, well, not really, I was in a..." His eyes shifted away from Severus. Nervous? Potter looked like the young child he had once been.
"Listen, I don't really know how to explain it without it sounding completely mental," Harry said as he scratched the back of his neck.
Ah. He is afraid I will criticize him, "Speak, boy. There will be no criticism."
"I was in a sort of... alternate dimension. Dumbledore was there. It kind of looked like King's Cross Station," Harry explained with great difficulty, "There was this... piece of Voldemort's soul crying and moaning under this bench. It was hideous. Dumbledore talked to me," Harry got lost in thought.
Severus looked at him. He was tired, thin, pale, and he had an air of defeat about him despite having just destroyed the most powerful dark wizard in the world.
Harry realized he had stopped talking, "I had a choice. I could go with Dumbledore in peace, be with my mum and dad... Or I could go back and finish Voldemort," His voice was quiet. Dumbledore is still an arse in the after life then.
Snape snorted and then winced, "His choice scenarios are fucking lovely, aren't they?"
Harry gave him a half smile, and continued, "I made my choice. I woke up on the forest floor. Draco's mum was kneeling next to me checking to see if I had a heartbeat. My heart was pounding, so she knew I was still alive. She asked if Draco was alive, if he was up at the castle," Harry looked at Severus, "And when I whispered 'yes,' she told Voldemort I was dead."
"There is nothing Narcissa loves more than her child," Severus said seriously as he remembered her frantic plea for him to protect Draco and the relief and sympathy on her face after the Unbreakable Vow.
"You know, muggles always say that 'there is no love like a mother's love,' but they don't even really know the meaning behind it," Harry noted, "Like my mother, like Draco's. It's...real."
"Muggles have an subconscious awareness of the magic around them. They just call it 'faith' or 'luck,'" Severus agreed, "What happened after Narcissa pronounced you dead?"
"Voldemort made Hagrid carry me back to the courtyard." Of course he fucking did... Poor Hagrid... "Voldemort gave a little celebration speech," Harry said.
"Yes, I am sure it was wonderful," Severus said darkly.
"I think even this next part will surprise you," Harry smirked, "He asked for anyone who wished to survive to declare their allegiance. Malfoy snapped his fingers at Draco, to get him to come to them. Draco wouldn't."
"That is surprising," Severus said with his eyes wide.
"Oh, that's not the surprise," Harry said, "His parents looked at each other, his mum took her hand out of his dad's, and she walked across to her son and took Draco's hand and stood with him. With us."
"Did she really?" Severus raised his eyebrows and then hummed, "I am sure that irritated the Dark Lord."
"Oh, yeah, loads. I jumped out of Hagrid's arms, battle resumed. Lots of Death Eaters split at that point. We outnumbered them by then," He said.
"And, you looked quite invincible," Snape acknowledged, "What of the snake?" His voice grew cold.
"She pursued me, Ron, and Hermione. As she went to lunge for us, Neville got her with the sword," Harry said.
"Your story telling leaves much to be desired, Potter."
"It was just me and him then. He knew it. I knew it. He was standing there, in the courtyard. I met him. Our wands connected again, and the Elder Wand failed him entirely. His Killing Curse turned on him, pushed back by me," Harry said.
"There is a body?" Severus asked, "We did not have a body last time."
"Oh, yes, there is a body," Harry said with a certain darkness in his tone, "It's being held at the school now, contained within a magical case. They're all trying to decide what to do with it."
I have a few ideas... "After he fell, what happened?"
"There was no celebration. There was a lot of crying. Silence. Hermione left with Professor McGonagall and Madam Promfrey to come here. Pretty much have caught you up now," Harry looked at Snape, shrugged awkwardly and looked away.
There is something wrong with this boy, "Potter... What is it?"
Harry didn't look at him, "What?"
Snape rolled his eyes, "You are no good at hiding or lying," and he watched as Harry rubbed at the scar Umbridge's quill had left on his hand, "Even when it would be most advantageous for you to do so."
Harry shook his head, "Nothing, Snape." There was a warning in his tone. What the bloody hell? Harry's hands were shaking, "It's just..."
"Words, boy."
Harry scratched his head, "The memory you showed me... Did you... Did you mean it?"
The boy's face trembled in an effort to contain his emotions, to keep himself from crying and Snape stared at him trying to finish his sentence for him.
Mean it?
Mean what?
'But this is touching, Severus. Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?'
'For him?'
Harry...
"Dammit, boy," Severus said. Harry didn't look at him until Snape started moving and pulling himself forward off the bed, "Fuck," He wheezed.
The boy shifted forward to help Snape, but Severus waved him off dramatically, "I can do it!!"
He moved slowly, painfully, down toward the edge of his bed, pulling most of himself by his heels as he was only able to use one hand to support his weight. Finally, when his legs dangled off the end of the bed, Snape closed his eyes and focused on breathing. His arm burned. His upper body was upright and stiff, any little movement pained him greatly.
"Severus, I can get the healer..."
"Shut up," Snape hissed and opened his eyes. He grabbed Harry under his chin with his right hand and pulled him up until he was eye level. Harry blinked quickly, but Snape didn't let go of his chin.
"Look at me," He demanded, "At the time of that memory, my relationship with you was what it had been for years - hostile, antagonistic, resentful You were a physical representation of my poor decisions and the loss I suffered at the hands of those poor choices - the loss of friendship with your mother, her marriage to your father, her death..." He looked away from Harry's eyes briefly and calmed himself, "That memory is from the evening before I killed Dumbledore. I was angry, hurting, terrified, irrational, and my response was shortsighted and was an inaccurate depiction of my feelings."
"Professor Snape!" Stefan walked into the room, "You should not be sitting up!"
Hermione woke from behind him, "Severus... Harry? What's going on?"
"Bloody hell..." Snape growled and slapped Stefan's hand away from him.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Potter, but we have to get him back into bed. He needs more antivenin and he needs to be resting. He shouldn't be moving around," Stefan scolded Snape, who glared at him, "You need to leave, Mr. Potter."
Harry nodded and moved backward toward the door. Hermione slid off the bed and her hand touched Snape's back gently, "Severus, I can walk him out. I'm sorry, Harry, I didn't know you were here!" She put her hand on his back. Stefan called in for more healers.
Snape said and found himself unable to turn toward the door where he stood with Hermione, "The answer to your poorly stated question is most assuredly 'no,' Potter."
He heard the gasp and Hermione asked, "What's wrong, Harry?" As the doors swung behind him.
He is so like you, Lil.
