Chapter 3- Gnar and Veigar in Dinner Time
The auditorium was filled with chatter and was jam packed as usual. Veigar and Yasuo made their way to their assigned seats which was near the front end of the auditorium.
"So, whatcha think the new employee is going to be like?" Veigar asked as he sipped on some juice.
"I don't know. From that announcement I feel like he's gonna be crazy like you."
"Shut up man, I'm not that crazy!"
"Admit it, you are."
Veigar narrowed his eyes at Yasuo as they took their seats.
For some odd reason the champions were seated not by their last names, but by their first names. And as a result, Yasuo and Veigar were seated a few rows from each other.
Veigar sighed heavily as he dropped his bottom on the squishy red seat. He placed his juice box on his arm rest and he stared off towards the stage.
He stared… Stared… And stared…
Veigar was getting pissed from having to wait so long.
"WHEN THE HELL IS THE SHOW GOING TO-" Veigar stopped himself as he felt hot, stinky breath come in contact with his neck, "Start…"
Veigar turned his head around and raised an eyebrow at a disgusting fat man with green ooze coming out of his stomach. This man in particular, had no legs; nor did he have hands. Instead, he had a spatula on his right hand, a ketchup dispenser on the other, and had robotic crab legs. He wore a chiefs hat and wore a chiefs apron that said, "What Ur-GOT!?"
Veigar's face became dead panned.
"What the hell do you want Urgot…"
Urgot just kept breathing heavily with wide eyes. He let out some gurgling noises and green foam formed around his over sized asthma inhaler.
Urgot pointed towards the juice Veigar had on his arm rest.
Veigar looked at Urgot, then at his juice. Then looked at him again, then at his juice.
Veigar took his juice box and gave it to Urgot who used his spatula hand to try and grab it. Instead he knocked it out of Veigar's hand by accident, and Urgot watched as the juice spread all over the floor.
Veigar looked at Urgot, then at the juice.
"You're a f****** disgrace, you know that?"
Urgot's one good eye watered, and he dashed out of the auditorium, gurgling as he did so.
The lights suddenly went off and stage lights came on, all pointing towards the podium in the middle of the stage.
A woman came out behind the curtains with a tight black suit and mini-skirt. She walked with elegance and stopped in front of the microphone. She tapped it a few times and then cleared her throat; coughing a little.
"Hello me fellow workerz. My name es Fioza! I came here in deh bee-half ov the head of deh E.V.I.L corp-orashion!"
The audience clapped.
"Az ye know, we ave a new employee today! Give a big round ov applausez for Mr. Gnar!"
The audience clapped excitedly as the curtains rustled.
A few seconds later, a fluffy head popped out and stared blankly at the crowd. The new employee was wide eyed, with two large teeth popping out in both ends of his mouth. He wore a bone head ornament that looked like the skull of an ancient bird, and dragged a bone boomerang across the floor; all the while wearing a small, bit oversized suit.
The puff ball waddled along the stage as the stage lights gave him their attention.
The audience's applause died down as Ganr took his place in front of the microphone.
Gnar sniffed the microphone, licked the microphone, then placed the microphone into his mouth.
Fiora took the microphone out of Gnar's mouth and placed it back on its stand.
Gnar tilted his head sideways, than took in a deep breath.
"Ohh noh nehga! Ohh maga Gnar!" The little creature cried cutely.
The audience broke into cheers at the speech Gnar gave them. But Veigar however, wasn't even fazed by this. He took one good look at Gnar, and then decided that he was going on his shit list.
Fiora took the microphone, "What he's trying to say es dat he es Gnar. He es a yordle dat we found frozen in a mineshaft."
Gnar took the microphone away from Fiora and started running out of the auditorium with it, licking it like a lollipop.
Fiora yelled at Gnar and started to chase him down, but her movements were limited because of her high heels and short skirt.
"COME BACK HERE WITH DEH MICROPHONE!"
Gnar stopped in front of the double doors and stuck up his tooshy. "SHOO SHOO PAH NAH! HAHAHAHAHA!"
With that, Gnar waddled out of the auditorium with a very angry Fiora chasing him down.
Once the duo were out, the lights came back on and the employees were allowed to leave.
Veigar sighed as he filed out of the auditorium with a minor headache.
Already he could imagine what was going to happen in the next coming weeks in the office. The work place will be crowded in one spot with a boat load of commotion coming from it. This new employee named Gnar will most likely cause trouble for the company. Not only did he not seem to know how to speak English, but he also seemed to lack some common sense.
"I'm never going to climb up the latter like this! Ugh, now I have two morons to deal with everyday in my life. First there's Teemo, then there's going to be this Gnar fagget…"
Veigar shivered at the thought of those two working together to make the office an even more hell then it already was.
As the work day came to an end all the employees took turns clocking out. Veigar however, was one of the few people who stayed behind. Not because he wanted to, but because he still needed to finish the essay that was due a few days ago.
"F****** essay, f****** office, f****** donuts, f****** company, f******-"
Veigar stopped in the middle of his banter as he felt heavy breathing coming from behind his neck once more.
Veigar's eye twitched and he turned around sharply, "LISTEN HERE URGOT! IF YOU BREATH DOWN MY F****** NECK ONE LAST TIME, I'LL MURDER YOU IN YOUR-"
Veigar's face met a yordle with two large, round sparkling eyes with teeth coming out both ends of his mouth. The yordle breathed heavily as he attempted to touch Veigar's computer.
"Ooh me laga!"
Veigar slapped Gnar's hand away, "Hands off you disgusting imbecile! Don't you DARE touch my computer! I swear if you touch it one more time I'll- HEY!"
Gnar took Veigar's computer and licked it, all the while rubbing his furry face against the screen.
"DON'T YOU KNOW ANY ENGLISH!? I SAID IF YOU TOUCHED MY COMPUTER, I WILL RIP YOUR F****** FACE OFF YOU LITTLE ANUS MUNCH-"
"There you are Mr. Veigar!"
Veigar face palmed himself as he turned to see one of the head companies slutty assistants walk towards him.
"Ugh, what do you want Fiora!? Can't you see I'm busy!? It's bad enough I need to do over time-"
Fiora went down on one knee and bowed to Veigar.
Veigar looked around the office awkwardly, until he raised his chin high. "I see that you've finally come to your senses and have submitted yourself to me! Finally, my first plan for world domination is complete! If you submit yourself to me this easily, THEN THIS WHOLE COMPANY WILL BOW DOWN, TO THE ALL. MIGHTY. VEIGA-"
"Pleaze take Mr. Gnar with you home…"
Veigar looked down towards Fiora, "WHAT!?"
"You heard me, I vant you to take Mr. Gnar home with you."
"But why me!? Why must I take him home!?"
Fiora sighed, "I just can't take dis little vermin anymore! He es jus, soh, irritating! I am in charge of him, but I'm starting to lose it!"
"Well then that's your problem!" Veigar turned around and resumed typing with a Gnar chewing on his desk. "Good luck taking care of him! I'm sure you two will make a GREAT couple!"
"I'll give you a raise…"
Veigar turned his little office chair around and faced Fiora with both hands intertwined with each other. "Add in a promotion, and you have yourself a deal…"
Fiora stared at him blankly…
Veigar stared at Gnar blankly…
It's been five minutes already and yet Gnar still wasn't able to put his seat belt on. They were currently in Veigar's car driving along the street slowly so Gnar wouldn't freak out and so he wouldn't get hurt.
Normally Veigar wouldn't really give a damn if someone put a seat belt on or not, but Gnar was a special case…
"Alvight! You can get a raise AND a promoshion!"
"YES!" Veigar cheered.
"But first, you have to promise meh a few things."
Veigar's cheer died down and he listened.
"Dee head wants Gnar to be unharmed in ANY vay. Also, you have to…"
Veigar stopped his car and parked it, releasing a frustrated sigh.
He got out of the car and went to the back seat. He opened the door and what he saw didn't surprise him.
Gnar looked at him with an innocent smile as he waved a stubby hand. He was tangled head to toe with the seat belt, in seemingly endless knots.
"Go mah laka bella sem haga!" Gnar said laughing.
Veigar grunted in annoyance and helped Gnar get out of his seat belt problem. After a few minutes, Veigar finally got Gnar free and they both got out of the car.
The duo stopped in front of the restaurant titled, "Yordle's Paradise". This place was pretty well known for its high class dishes, as well as it being only available to the higher ups. Basically, it's a high end restaurant.
As Veigar and Gnar entered the establishment, Gnar gasped in surprise and waddled towards a fish tank.
"Feeshhhhyyy!" Gnar said in amazement.
Veigar rolled his eyes, 'At least he knows SOME form of English…'
A waiter with a name tag labeled 'Bob' came up to them in a fancy waiter suit. "Do you have a reservation?"
"We came here under the name of Ms. Fiora. Or more like, FORCED to come here under the name of Ms. Fiora…"
The waiter nodded and gestured the duo into the main dining room.
Gnar still looked at the fish, until Veigar grabbed Gnar by the collar and dragged him along.
They both stared at each other, unmoving, reading each other's movements.
Their food was half way done, but Veigar kept staring at Gnar's big round eyes with an intensity that could kill.
Gnar just looked at him blankly, his eyes still shining with fascination.
Veigar kept on looking at him, until he felt a small gust of wind blow directly at him.
He blinked.
Veigar smashed his face against the mash potatoes as he lost another game of the 'Staring Contest' with Gnar.
"ARE YOU EVEN TRYING!? YOU'RE SO GOOD AT THIS!"
Gnar just stared.
Veigar got up and waved a hand over Gnar's blank face.
Gnar drooled and let out a snore.
Veigar deadpanned. He was playing the staring contest for over an hour out of pure boredom, and this little maniac was already sleeping with his eyes open.
Veigar shook his head and grabbed Gnar along, going out of the restaurant, and towards his car.
As the duo got ready to leave, Veigar tossed Gnar into the back seat and drove off towards his house where they would both spend the night.
"What a boring, and uninteresting day AND dinner… Can this night get even MORE boring!?"
For a few minutes, Veigar drove in silence while Gnar slept, twitching and moaning a little.
'Well… If he's asleep, then he wouldn't mind if I go super fast!"
Veigar floored the gas pedal and they sped off towards the deserted street. Veigar laughed like a maniac as he envisioned himself running over Noxians and making the women swoon over his extra speediness.
'The nights still young! HAHHAHAHAHA-"
…
Gnar stirred from his sleep in the backseat and he cried out, "GNAR!"
The car suddenly stopped in the middle of the road as a sudden weight held it down in the back seat.
"WHAT THE FU-"
That's when Veigar saw a really big red monster step on the hood of his car, and made its way towards the nearest building; destroying it.
"HEY GNAR WAKE UP YOU S***, ARE YOU SEEING THIS!?"
Veigar looked at the passenger's seat, and saw nothing but shredded metal, and a large opening in the roof of his car.
Veigar looked at the passenger seat, then at the monster. Then at the passenger seat, then at the monster.
Then it dawned on him…
Veigar got out of his car as the city suddenly burst into flames, with utter chaos running about.
Veigar looked at his vehicle in all the chaos, and got to his knees, ticked off with anger.
"MY... CAR!"
And Gnar still kept on destroying the city, like King Kong.
A/N:
I don't hate Urgot, he is best ADC.
