She closed her eyes and pulled the washcloth down over her eyes. The knocking persisted, and because they were so in tune with each other she could sense him getting anxious. The last thing she needed today was for him to decide to use his key and surprise her in the tub, so with a heavy sigh she pulled herself out of the water.

This wasn't Desperate Housewives, and she didn't make a habit of answering the door in a towel or short robe. After she had dried off, she had put on her warmest pair of pajama pants, a ratty souvenir t-shirt, and her NYPD sweatshirt to keep her warm. If she was lucky, he would think he'd woken her up and would leave quickly.

Her short hair hadn't gotten wet, and she swiped at her damp forehead with the sleeve of her sweatshirt before opening the door.

There, in all his glowing, fatherly greatness stood Elliot Stabler. He shut the cell phone in his hand and just looked at her, blue eyes burning into her. She carefully avoided his gaze.

"I never really thanked you for today, and I wanted to make sure that you were okay." His voice was low and quiet and she hated that he didn't even know what today had done to her.

"It was nothing," she replied, and she is proud that her voice didn't wobble and she is grateful that she hasn't broken yet.

"It was everything."

Her eyes closed again and she gripped the doorframe like it was her last connection to this world. She knew he would say that, she knew it. His everything had been sitting in the passenger seat of her car. She knew that, and so she had forced herself to be strong enough to deliver them back to him.

He needed to understand that she had done that, for him, and that now she was paying and she needed to be left alone.

"Look, Elliot, it's late and I was just going to sleep and you should be with Kathy now."

"Oh, okay, well I guess I'll get going. See you tomorrow then."

She made a point of not returning the sentiment and he left, not knowing that she's going to need some time. She called Cragen and he asked her how she was doing. She replied that she was feeling very tired, that her adrenaline had worn out, and could she please take a day off tomorrow. He told her to take the rest of the week and to be ready to work with Lake on Monday, because Elliot had just called him and said that he was going to take his paternity leave.

She agreed quickly, thanked him, and hung up, taking three deep breaths before she was able to drop her phone on the counter.

There is a certain drag to her step as she pulls the comforter off her bed and bundles it tightly around her. She will do what she has always done when her world suddenly seemed a little to empty for her liking.

She finds an old black-and-white movie on her TV and mutes it before curling up on her sofa. Tonight, her bed is just a little too big for one person, and while the couch will almost certainly hurt her back in the morning, it is just the right size for what she has resigned herself to be for the rest of her life.

Unwanted, neglected, a second-string shadow of who she could be, should be.

Tonight, like every other night, she is alone.

XXXXX

A/N—So how was this? I tried really had to keep in-character. As always, leave me a review. Let me know what you think!