A/N: I know I haven't update in like FOREVER but I couldn't think of something funny. Now I did!! Enjoy...

Bella's POV

"ALICE! MY-FEET-ARE KILLING-ME!!" I whined as Alice pulled me into another store. We had been in this mall for hours! I didn't know how many time one could go into a single store 5 times to find the same thing that had been there the first time.

"Bella!! Come on, there are free samples of perfume in here! Don't you want to smell suductive for edward?" Alice asked pushing me inside a Macy's.

"Alice, I smell the same to Edward all the time. He only smells my blood! Why confuse him with purfume?" I asked exasperated.

"Shut up Bella! Oh...that one's italian..." I groaned as he towed me towards a italian perfume area. I had my eyes closed pouting. When I opened my eyes...

"Oooh...I want italian perfume!" I sighed happily running to the booth. I really could care less about the perfume...it was the hot italian guy standing there I wanted.

"Ciao Bella," he said in a sexy italian accent. I almost melted; My grin gew wide as I looked him up and down. He was tall, tanned perfectly with dark hair and full red lips. He was how the italians say...DELICIOUSO!! wAIT...is that spanish?! Oh whatever!! Hot guy!!

I giggled, almost hysterically. "That's my name! How did you know my name?"

"Bella, I thought your feet hurt!" Alice called behind me. But her jaw dropped when she saw who I was talking to. "Oh...Hello, there!" Alice said standing next to me.

"Ciao." He waved.

"Alice, he knows my name!" I giggled.

"What?" Alice asked, still looking at hot italian guy.

"He said ciao Bella...that's my name." I giggled.

"Oh...Bella, that means...something in italian..." Alice trailed off.

"Beautiful. Bella means beautiful. Your names suits you..." I sighed happily, biting my lip to hide my wide smile.

"Aww...thank you" Alice and I looked at eachother and giggled almost bouncing with excitement. He was so hot, he could have been a vampire, except he was way to tanned...golden brown.

For the rest of the afternoon, we stayed with hot italian guy, whose name is Paulo. HOW ADORABLE!! He gave us free samples of perfume, which we ended up buying gallons of by the end of the day. He even winked at me a few times!! He's so dreamy...

Edward's POV

Alice and Bella were taking the longest time at the mall; I missed Bella, and I hated when Alice stole her from me! I was bored, lonely and sad. I reached for my phone to call Alice.

It didn't ring long, and Alice picked up, sounding annoyed. "WHAT?" she hissed.

"um...I was just wondering when you guys were coming back?" I asked caught off guard from her anger.

"When we feel like it!" And she hung up. I stared at the fone, shocked. Something must have been wrong. I got up off my couch and went downstairs, grabbing my keys.

"Where are you off to Eddie-poo?" I looked at Emmett, confused. I read his mind to see what was up. I SAW THINGS I DID NOT WANT TO!! Who knew Rosalie was so flexible? ME!! AND I DID NOT WANT TO KNOW!! No wonder Emmett was so happy...

"Shut up Emmett." He was so annoying. It's like the little brother I never wanted. "I'm going to find Bella. I'm lonely."

"Little bit co-dependent there, Edward?"

"I AM NOT!" I slammed the door and went to my car. I drove to the mall, trying not to think about Emmett pervert ways and was there in no time at all. I searched for Alice's mind through the mall, trying to find out where she was.

Look at him...so tan and italian...hmm...I wonder if jasper would dye his hair and get a tan...can vampires even get tan? Well, japser should...maybe even get an italian accent...that would be hot. What perfume is he even selling? I don't know and I don't care!

That. Was. Odd. But at least I knew where they were. They must be in Macy's, perfume department. But why the hell would she want Jasper to get a tan...? and an italian accent? Oh my god! She was flirting! But she was married...but maybe not...should Jasper know? Well, I'd see for myself first. But one thing I knew for sure, Bella would never betray me like that.

HOLY CRAP!! What was Bella doing?!

Bella's POV

Now, Paulo the delicious was showing me his well-toned muscles. Flexing over and over...I don't know why, but that just made me thing, WOW! His hair is nap-able...It was so true!!

"Wow, Paulo. Do you work out? They're so..." I stopped, my mouth wide opened. "CRAP!" I whimpered. Edward was heading right towards us, looking angry.

"BELLA?!" Edward roared. Alice was snapped out of her fantasy-world and turned her head, looking just as scared as me.

"Edward...this is Paulo..." I squeaked.

"Ciao," Paulo looked Edward up and down.

"Ciao. Bella! What are you doing?" Edward asked

"Buying perfume...?" I whimpered innoccently.

"And?"

"Talking to Paulo the delicious..." I sighed.

"Stop talking to my girlfriend!" Edward hissed at Paulo. But Paulo looked...strangly turned on.

"I'm just doing my job...selling perfume..." Paulo answered

"Don't you try that on me, pretty boy! Come on Bella, we're leaving..." edward turned to leave and I reluctantly followed. Alice pouted and waved bye before leaving.

"Ciao, Bella!" Paulo called. I bit my lip, hoping Edward didn't hear. But he did...

"Stop talking to my girlfriend!!" Edward said through his teeth.

"I wasn't. I was talking to you, gorgeous." I turned towards Paulo, astonished.

"WHAT?" Alice screamed. We both watched in horror as we realized the truth; He was gay!

"Oh..." Edward said, looking as shocked as we were. "Bella...we should..." Edward said awkwardly

"Yes, why don't we..." Edward and I left, pulling Alice along because she was too shocked to move.

"He's-but I-why is every good looking man gay?" Alice stuttered once we were in the care.

"Alice, we should have seen the signs. No man can be that tan and delicious and be that muscular. It's impossible. We should have known...I feel really sad now. Edward, would you get a tan for me?" I asked eagerly. Edward slowly turned his head towards my direction, anger clear in his eyes.

"Bella. I. Will. Not. Get. A. Tan. We can't get tan; We are naturally pale!" Edward seemed really freaked out.

"Eddie...you seem a little tense?" I asked.

"I just got hit on by a man who I thought was hitting on you. It was a little bit awkward..." Edward laughed without humor.

"When you think about it, it's a little funny..." I said giggling. "I mean...come on. You got hit on by Paulo the delicious." I started laughing hysterically, then later joined by Alice and eventually Edward.

"Ha. That is funny." Edward stopped laughing instantly, and had a serious look on his face. "We-will-never-speak-of-this-again."

A/N: LOL please review and try my other stories, should you feel the urge.