Some Where I Belong
Chapter 3
Ready to fall
Two days had gone by since Cloud was last at school. He felt real sick and dizzy for the past two days, so he decided not to go. Which meant, he hadn't seen Zack, and wasn't able to thank him for helping him to the nurse's office the other day. The past two days had been quite relaxing. He didn't have to deal with bullies or show up to class looking like a mummy. Cloud got up from bed and began to remove the bandages from his face; he had healed quite well. Though, his arm still hurt somewhat. /I guess I should go to school today. I haven't even attended my fourth or fifth periods at all this week. I should really go before they call Sephiroth and tell him. Not that he'd care, but I know he doesn't want to be bothered by the school. /
Cloud sighed and began to get dressed. The morning was bright and sunny, which brought comfort to Cloud. As he put his shirt over his head, he heard his stomach grumble. / I haven't eaten in three days. I'm so hungry. I don't know if I can last two more days without eating./ Cloud finished getting ready and walked out of his room. He then heard crying coming down from the hallway. There Loz sat on the stairs holding his stomach. His cheeks were stained by tears and he looked very upset. Cloud quickly went over to him and put his hand on his shoulder. "Hey, you ok?" Loz looked up at Cloud. "Does it look I'm ok?!"
"Well, no."
"Then why did you ask?" Loz said pushing Cloud away. Cloud looked at Loz with concerned eyes. "Then what's wrong?"
Loz began sobbing a little. "I'm so hungry! I can't take it anymore! I need to eat."
Cloud ruffled Loz's hair. "It's ok. I'll try talking to Sephiroth." Loz nodded and sobbed more.
Truthfully, Cloud really didn't want to talk with Sephiroth, but they were all suffering from starvation and if something wasn't done soon, he didn't even want to think about what might happen. Cloud then walked down the hallway to Sephiroth's room. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. / Please don't yell at me ./ He then knocked on the door.
Knock,
Knock
Sephiroth was standing in front of his mirror getting himself ready for school when he heard a knock on his door. He rolled his eyes, "What the hell do they want?" Sephiroth then went over and opened the door. "What the hell do you want?" Sephiroth asked looking down at Cloud. Cloud looked down and twiddled his thumbs while he spoke, "Well, Sephiroth. I know you're still made about Loz and Kadaj breaking your vase, but we're really starving to death here. If we don't eat soon, I don't know how much longer until something drastic happens."
Sephiroth raised his eyebrow. "So, what you're trying to tell me is that you want to be fed?"
Cloud nodded looking up at Sephiroth. Sephiroth shrugged, "Ok, then I have an offer. I'll feed you guys on one condition. One of you doesn't get fed until Monday, got it? I'm not going to let you guys off the hook that easily. So, who's not going to eat?"
Cloud looked back down the hallway at Loz who was still crying on the stairs. "I won't eat until Monday."
Sephiroth laughed. "Alright. Loz, Kadaj, Yazoo come get your lunch money."
The three silver haired teenagers then dashed down the hallway up to Sephiorth and he handed them their lunch money. Cloud looked at his brothers eyes and saw them light up with pure joy. / I don't deserve to eat anyway. / Cloud then quickly walked past them, grabbed his bag and walked out the front door. He felt the warm tears streaming down his cheeks as he walked to school.
/If not eating until Monday feeds my brothers, then it's worth suffering. They're more important than I am anyway; I'm just a burden on everyone. Sometimes, I wonder why I'm still alive. I'm just a waste of space. Now, I've been beginning to understand why everyone hates me and I don't blame a single one of them...not at all. /
Cloud then began to whimper as the tears kept rolling down his cheeks. He felt like turning back and just heading home, but he knew that he couldn't miss another day of school this week. He wiped the tears away and continued on walking forward. / At least, I get to see Zack, right? /
"By sweetie! Have a good day at school!" Zack's mom said waving good bye after she dropped him off in front of the school.
"Bye mom!" Zack said smiling and walked up the stairs into the school. "Today is going to be great, because it's Friday!" Zack yelled happy and headed to class when he didn't see any of the 'Locs'. He walked into class and to his surprise, his friends were already there.
"Great minds think alike don't they?" Reno said smiling at Zack.
"You know it." Zack said taking a seat.
"So, I was thinking we should all hang out today after school. What do you say?" Leon asked.
They all looked at one another and nodded. "Sounds good."
"Great, so anyone have anywhere in mind that they'd like to go?" Leon asked once again.
Reno put his hand on his chin and pondered. "Hm, where do all the hot chicks flock to?"
Vincent shook his head. "Is that all you think about?"
Reno nodded. "That and food."
They all started laughing. Zack smiled, he didn't know what he would do without his friends. They meant the world to him; he couldn't imagine life without them. Which made him think about what if he had no friends? He couldn't even begin to picture it, what a lonely existence it must be. Then out of nowhere, the picture of Cloud flashed through his mind. He shook his head. "Whoa, that was weird."
"What's wrong?" Vincent asked looking at Zack.
Zack looked at him. "Oh, nothing."
"You sure?" Vincent asked again.
"Yeah, I'm sure."
Reno sat up eager. "So, Zack. I heard Aerith's coming back."
Zack looked at him. "What?"
Reno smirked. "Yeah, she called yesterday and told me she should be back next week. She would have called you, but she said she was too nervous."
"Looks like you'll be getting some action again, Zack." Leon said and raised his eyebrows.
"I've missed Aerith." Zack said thoughtfully.
"Well, looks like you'll be getting her back." Reno said.
"Looks like it." Zack said, his thoughts consumed by Aerith.
The bell had rung right when Cloud approached the school. He quickly began running into the school, afraid he would be late. Cloud wanted to go to the bathroom real quick to see if his eye liner had smeared, but had no time. So, he quickly ran down the hall into his class. When he got inside, he quickly put his head down and walked to his seat.
Mr. Lazard looked up and saw Cloud sitting in his seat. "Nice of you to join us, Strife." Cloud just continued to look down. Mr. Lazard then took out his marker and began writing on the board. "Alright, now does anyone remember what we discussed yesterday about the Russian revolution?"
Cloud slowly looked up and turned to the right, he spotted Zack taking notes down and listening intently to what Mr. Lazard was saying. / He looks cute when he's concentrating. / Cloud always knew Zack was a good student; he always pulled good grades and got involved with a couple of sports usually. He really admired Zack.
"So, what do you think about that, Strife?"
Cloud looked away from Zack and up at Mr. Lazard. / I have no idea what he's talking about. /
Mr. Lazard shook his head. "Clueless, Strife? I'm not surprised. Maybe, if you spent more time paying attention to the lesson and not staring at Fair over here, you would know how to answer."
Cloud's face turned red and he immediately looked down. / Oh no! Now Zack knows I was staring at him! /Zack turned around to look at Cloud and smiled. "It's ok. It's nice to know someone appreciates my dashing good looks." He winked and caused the class to laugh. Cloud felt so embarrassed, he didn't know what to do. / I would love nothing more than to just crawl under a rock and die, right about now./
Cloud lay his head down on the desk, while Mr. Lazard went on with the lesson. At the end of class, Mr. Lazard handed out the homework and with that everyone exited the classroom. Cloud quickly ran out of the classroom and down the hallway into the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror and saw is eyeliner smeared a bit under his eyes. Cloud got some tissue, wet it with water and began cleaning up his face. He shook his head / I'm such a wreck. / After cleaning up, he went into a stall and locked it. /I don't feel like disgracing my English class with my presence today. /
Cloud reached into his bag and pulled out a broken piece of glass he picked up off the floor before he left the house today. He sat there staring at it for awhile. / This could be put to good use. / Cloud then put the glass to his face and began marking it over and over. He cried as he continued, / I'm a monster, so I might as well start looking like one. /
Cloud couldn't help but feel this way about himself, nothing in his life was going well. Nothing had ever gone well for Cloud. / I'll just save everyone else the trouble and destroy myself. / He looked at the piece of glass and put it down.
/I wonder, when was the last time I truly smiled? Hm, probably when I was still a kid and mother was around. We never knew our father, but it didn't matter, because we had our mother. She was always there for us whenever we needed her, but one day she left and never came home. That day we all became broken and utterly alone. No one had known that our mother had left us, so we were never taken away to an orphanage. Sephiroth, being the oldest and with his strong features was able to get a job to support us and keep us alive. Though, Sephiroth blamed us for mother leaving, he told us we were the reason she didn't come home that day. Sephiroth became full of hate and anguish. Till this day, I know that... mother never loved us, never loved me. /
Cloud stayed locked inside the bathroom stall until the end of third period. The bell had rung and he walked out of the bathroom stall, he looked at himself in the mirror and smiled as he saw his face covered in cuts and blood. Everyone was now crowding in the hallways meeting up with their friends to spend break together. As Cloud walked down the hall, he heard people gasping and felt their eyes burning holes in his back. He knew they were looking at his face. /Tch, eat your heart out. /
Cloud sat in his usual corner and looked around. / I don't see Sam or any of his friends around, so I guess I'm safe for now. / He then looked to the left and spotted Sam and his friends heading towards him. To be honest, Cloud was scared. / I better think again. / Cloud put his bag on quickly and was about to start running, but was pulled back and thrown against the lockers. He looked up at them with his heart racing. / I don't want to get hurt anymore! Why won't they just leave me alone?! I'm tired of being pushed around! /
"No point in trying to run, Strife. Did you really think you could get away?" Sam asked staring Cloud down.
Cloud looked down and replied, "Just leave me alone."
Sam and his friends laughed. "Ha! Talking back now? You just don't get it do you?" Sam said as he grabbed Cloud by his hair and slammed his head against the lockers. "We're never going to leave you alone."
Cloud felt the tears beginning to roll down his cheeks and before he knew it, he felt a fist slam into his stomach and he was instantly on the floor. A crowd began to form around them as they continued to throw, punch and kick Cloud around. Cloud was coughing up blood onto the floor, when Sam picked him up by his collar. "See this is what happens to freaks like you!"
Sam was about to punch Cloud when, he was pushed into the lockers with a bang. "What the hell!?" Sam said dropping Cloud on the floor. He turned around to see Yazoo standing in front of him. "Did you just push me?!" Sam asked getting in Yazoo's face.
"Lay another finger on my brother and I'll kill you!" Yazoo yelled and pushed Sam back hard into the lockers once again. Everyone around them started oohing and chanting "Fight, fight, fight!"
Sam was mad now. "Bring it on, pansy ass Sophomore! How dare you push me! Just who the hell do you think you are?!"
"Your worst nightmare, bitch!" Yazoo screamed and tackled Sam on the floor.
Everyone was now yelling and getting excited as they watched Yazoo and Sam go at it. Cloud looked up from the floor slowly with his vision blurry. "Y-Yazoo..." Cloud saw that Yazoo had Sam by his throat and was slamming his head onto the floor over and over again.
"L-let g-go!!" Sam managed to get out while Yazoo continued to choke him. Yazoo ignored his plea, he deserved no mercy.
Cloud sat up slowly and said, "Yazoo, stop it...you'll kill him if you continue." Yazoo stopped and looked up at Cloud. "That's the point!" Sam then started to yank on Yazoo's hair, while he looked towards his friends for help. Sam's friends then grabbed Yazoo forcefully off Sam and threw him against the lockers.
"Get him!" Sam's friends then all pounced on Yazoo and began kicking and punching him. "Ah!" Yazoo yelled while his was being hit. Cloud tried to get up, but couldn't move. /I can't help him. / He tried getting up once more, but fell back down. / This is it. /
Kadaj and Loz were walking down the hall when they saw the huge circle formed around a fight. "Sweet! There's a fight! Come on Kadaj, let's go watch." Loz and Kadaj then ran over to the crowd and began pushing their way through to get a better view. When they up to the front, they saw Cloud lying on the floor bleeding along with Sam and when they looked to the right they saw a group of guys ganging up on Yazoo.
"Hell no!" Loz yelled and jumped one of the guys, with Kadaj trying to bite off another guy's ear.
"Ah! My ear!" The boy yelled in agony as Kadaj continued to chew. "You like this bitch!" Kadaj yelled like a maniac.
With two guys off him Yazoo tackled the one guy that was left and began smashing his face in. By this time, everyone was so into the fight you could hear the shouts echo throughout the school. The teachers were all in the lounge when they finally heard yelling and began running down the hall, but they were too late, because someone had gotten there first.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!?"
Everyone was silenced and they all turned to look at a very furious Sephiroth. Yazoo and Loz immediately stopped when they saw Sephiroth, but Kadaj was still biting one of the guy's ear. Sephiroth then immediately smacked Kadaj on the back of his head, which made him release.
"My ear!" The guy cried.
Sephiroth looked down at his brothers when he noticed Cloud bleeding on the floor. He took a deep breath and spoke, "Who started this?" Everyone looked at each other and then pointed at Yazoo. Sephiroth then grabbed Yazoo by his hair and slapped him so hard across the face, immediately tears burst from his eyes. Loz and Kadaj then crawled away from Sephiroth. "All four of you are pathetic!" Sephiroth yelled.
"What's going on here!?" The teachers yelled as they finally arrived. Sephiroth looked at them, "Stay out of it! I stopped this fight and now I'm going to deal with my brothers." The teachers looked Sephiroth in the eyes and knew to back off. Sephiroth then looked around at all the by standers. "What are you waiting for?! Fight's over!" As soon as he said that, everyone quickly walked away from the scene including the teachers.
Sephiroth then went over to Cloud and kicked him slightly in the stomach. Cloud winced and looked up at Sephiroth, "Get up. You're embarrassing me." Sephiroth demanded as Cloud struggled to get up. "I-I can't" Sephiroth then grabbed Cloud violently and pushed him up against the locker. "Weakling." He then turned to look at Loz, Kadaj and Yazoo. "Hand over your lunch money now!" All three of them slowly took out their money and handed it to Sephiroth.
"I have never been so embarrassed, ever!" Sephiroth yelled looking at them. He shook his head and said, "From now on you find a way to feed and support yourselves, because I'm done." Sephiroth then turned and walked away.
Loz, Kadaj and Yazoo sat there looking broken. Loz looked at Kadaj, "Does this mean we're homeless now?" Kadaj shook his head, "No, he can't kick us out." Yazoo sat there with tears sliding down his cheeks. "Sephiroth, hit me..." Kadaj looked at him, "You deserved it. You're the one who started it!" Kadaj then pushed Yazoo. "No, I didn't! The bully that picks on Cloud did! I was only trying to protect him." Yazoo then looked at Cloud who was standing up by the support of the lockers.
"Look where protecting Cloud got us!" Kadaj yelled at Yazoo. He then shook his head and sighed, "I'm going to class. I'll see you guys at home." Kadaj then got up and walked away, with Loz following him.
Yazoo looked down. "I'm sorry Cloud. It's my fault." Cloud shook his head, "No. I'm glad you helped me." Yazoo smiled and stood up. "Let me help you get to the bathroom, so you can wash your face." Cloud waved his hand up, "No. It's ok, I can walk." Yazoo looked at him, "Are you sure?" Cloud nodded. "Yeah. Thank you." Yazoo nodded, "Ok, bye Cloud." Yazoo waved and walked away.
Cloud then began to limp his way into the bathroom. Soon after fifth period began, Sam, his friends, Loz, Kadaj and Yazoo were all sent to the principal's office. They all stayed in there for about an hour arguing and fighting. The principle finally had enough and gave them all clean up duty during lunch, all next week. Lunch had approached quickly and everyone was talking about the fight.
"So, Tifa did you hear about the fight?" Yuffie asked.
Tifa flipped her hair back and replied, "Yeah, of course. I mean I'm the reason Sam started the fight with Cloud."
Everyone at her table stared at Tifa in amazement. Yuffie then asked, "Really?! What happened?!"
"Sam found out Cloud had his eye on me and got extremely jealous. So, they got in a fight over it." Tifa giggled.
"Really? I never knew Sam liked you!" Yuffie said.
"Tch, of course he does. Who doesn't?" Tifa said and flipped her hair back. Everything always had to be about her.
All the 'Locs' were sitting at their table and eating lunch, when Reno brought up the fight.
"I mean it was so sweet! You should've seen it. Damn, I'm surprised Sam isn't brain damaged from how hard Yazoo was slamming his head on the ground." Reno laughed.
Leon nodded, "I know! That fight was sick!"
"And did you see Kadaj totally trying to eat that guys ear?" Vincent added.
"I know it was hilarious." Reno said and they all laughed.
Zack looked up at them, "I guess I should've been there, huh?"
"Yeah! Where were you anyway?" Leon asked.
"I was in the library with Angeal, helping him look for some book." Zack replied.
Reno shook his head, "You totally missed out."
"Why were they fighting anyways?" Zack asked.
"Because, Sam went up to Cloud and totally just started beating on him, then Yazoo came and got into it with Sam and then all of sudden, Sam's friends jumped Yazoo, that's when Loz and Kadaj intervened." Reno answered.
"Cloud...it all makes since now." Zack whispered to himself.
Flashback
Zack was about to walk into his classroom, when he heard something slam against the ground. Zack turned around to see Cloud frustrated and hurt, lying on the floor. He quickly ran over and bent down next to him. "Hey, are you ok?" Cloud stiffened. /Oh my god, It's Zack! No, no, no, no! Zack can't see me like this, he just can't. / Cloud nodded and Zack asked again, "Are you sure?" He nodded again. Zack still wasn't convinced, he was daring enough to move Cloud's hair out of the way to look at his face. "Geez, man! What happened to your face?! You look like you just got a good beat down." Zack's eyes softened as he touched Cloud's face. Cloud acted on impulse and quickly smacked Zack's hand away.
End of flashback
"He had just gotten beat up, when I found him." Zack shook his head. "Poor guy..."
Cloud was sitting inside of a locked stall once again, for the second time today. / I can't take it anymore! I'm so sick! Sick of this life! Ah! / He then heard the door to the bathroom open and some guys walk inside. Cloud peeked through the crack of the stall door and saw Sam and his friends. / Oh no.../
"Damn, man that Sophomore really got you good, Sam." One of his friends had said.
Sam slammed his fist against the sink and looked up at his reflection in the mirror, his was face was covered in bandages and he had finger imprints on his neck. "Just wait until I see any one of those freaks. They're dead." With that said Sam washed up a bit and they left the bathroom.
Cloud took a deep breath and put his head back against the stall. /Now, because of me...my family is in danger. Not that they can't take care of themselves in a fight, but if all those guys jump them when they're alone, I don't know what could happen. It's all my fault! I should die already, not like anyone would miss me. Maybe Yazoo, but he'd get over it. I don't want to be here anymore. I'm pathetic. My life is so screwed up, no one loves me, my depression consumes me, I live in poverty basically, I rarely eat, I have no friends, my family alienates me, I get bullied every day and Zack would never like a loser like me. He only helped me that day, because he pitied me. /
The bell rang and everyone started heading to sixth period. Zack and Vincent headed to the locker room and began getting dressed. Zack look to the left of him and saw an empty space. "Cloud hasn't shown up to sixth period in five days, I wonder what's going on with him." He shrugged, "I guess if I was beaten up I wouldn't show up to class either." Zack finished getting dressed and headed to the gym. "Hm, I wonder what's for dinner today."
Vincent sat next to Zack on the bleachers, as Cid took roll. "So, are we still hanging out today?" Vincent asked. Zack nodded, "Yeah, I just got to go home first to pick up some things, then I'll meet up with you guys at Leon's." Vincent looked at Zack, "Well, that shouldn't take you too long right? Doesn't your mom pick you up from school?" Zack nodded, "Yeah, but she texted me earlier and said I would have to walk home, she can't make it today." Vincent nodded. "Ok, I'll tell Leon that you're going to be a little late." Zack smiled, "Thanks."
The last bell rang and school had ended. Everyone then piled out of the school, ready to go fulfill their Friday night plans. Zack was walking down the hallway looking for Angeal, but when he walked out of the school and went into the parking lot, he saw Sephiroth's car was already gone. He sighed, "I better start walking." Zack then started walking home.
Cloud was walking down the street with his head down. / Home's going to be even worse now. I don't know what to expect now, my life has now hit an all time low. There's no point in living. I have no reason to be alive. I bet it would be a better world if I was no longer in it. / Cloud stopped and looked at the highway, / I have the power to take myself out. / He stood there staring at the passing cars for a few seconds and sighed. / This is it...I'm done. / Cloud started to cry, but then shook his head and took a deep breath. / I better make this quick. / He then dashed into the middle of street with the cars coming at full speed.
"Hey! Look at out!" Just as a car was about to strike Cloud, he was thrust back onto the side walk. Cloud looked up in shock to see Zack sitting there in shock. "What do you think you were doing man!?" Zack yelled looking at Cloud.
"I wasn't trying to do anything..." Cloud said looking down.
"Then why were you in the middle of the highway!?" Zack yelled getting closer to Cloud. "Are you crazy or what?! Why would you be in the middle of the street!? I just don't get it!"
"Because, I was trying to KILL myself!" Cloud yelled at Zack and pushed him back. Zack looked at Cloud in shock, he had never heard Cloud yell before. Zack's eyes softened, "Why do you want kill yourself?"
"Because, I'm miserable! Every day I wake up to a life of misery and torment! I can't even look at myself in the mirror without feeling disgusted! I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being; I should have NEVER been born! I'm an embarrassment! I HATE myself!" Cloud screamed and began crying hysterically.
Zack felt his heart pounding, Cloud's words were powerful. He could never imagine feeling the way Cloud does. "Come on, you don't really mean that."
"How do you know what I mean or don't mean?! You have no idea, what I want, what I wish for or what I long for!" Cloud looked up at Zack with his eyes full of hurt and anger. "If you really want to know, fine I'll tell." Cloud looked down for a moment trying to catch his breath, while Zack held his.
"I long to DIE!"
Zack's eyes softened, he had never seen anything like this before. Cloud was so attractive while he cried and it's so tragic the way he lives his life; Zack could not help, but to be attracted by this. Zack went over to Cloud and embraced him.
"Everything's going to be ok. Don't worry your safe with me."
Cloud looked up at him. / Being comforted...is such an unfamiliar feeling. /
Zack then picked up Cloud bridal style and looked at him. "You're coming home with me." He then began walking home with Cloud safe in his arms.
End of chapter 3. Thank you to all that have been reviewing! I appreciate it. Thanks for reading! Please review. Chapter 4 coming soon. I want to thank you TsumeLover666 for being my beta! I appreciate it so much! Thank you!
