It had been the day from hell. Everything was going wrong. Her brother had crashed her car; a complete write-off, she had missed her sergeant's exam and she had fallen out with her colleague. Rachel Bailey walked slowly back into Oldham Police Station with the weight of the world on her shoulders. She had let her boss down so many times before, but still she had a job. Gill had threatened her more than once, that if she messed up again, she would 'walk through that door for the last time'. Sometimes she wondered why she was still here and how she had not been back in uniform months ago; she believed Janet Scott was getting her through, but little did she know that her boss Gill Murray had ulterior motives.
Her head was filled with so many thoughts; her brother, her exam, Kevin, Janet, Gill, Sean, Nick Savage, resignation…. There was so many things going on, none of which were making sense. She was so deep in thought she just missed the door opening in front of her, it only clipping her arm. She continued to walk, taking one slow step at a time. The first flight of stairs she climbed with caution, but reached the top eventually. She continued onto the next.
She reached the top and went into her department, collapsing into the chair behind her desk. It was only moments before Janet came in and began interrogation. Rachel couldn't handle it. She loved Janet to bits, as a friend, but somehow she just couldn't tell her what she really felt. She palmed Janet off with her brother was in an accident and she missed the exam.
At that moment, Kevin entered the room, glaring at Rachel. She took a deep breath and looked away, unable to explain to him why she snapped so easily at him. She had her reasons, but words were her weakness.
"Are you alright Rach?" Janet asked as the colour drained from Rachel's face.
"Fine" she replied, grabbing her cigarettes from her pocket and making for the door, faster than she had entered the room moments ago. She didn't even make it to the bottom of the stairs. It was Gill.
"Rachel, I need you in the video room with me now please" she called. Rachel's heart sank, she needed her fag to calm her down, she was on the verge of losing control, and she couldn't afford to do that in front of her boss. She shoved the lighter and unlit cigarette back in her pocket and followed the smaller woman to the room.
"Eh, how did your exam go?" Gill asked. Rachel had been praying she wouldn't.
"I'm going to have to re-sit it next year, my brother had an accident, I missed it" she replied, hoping the brief explanation was enough to satisfy her boss. Gill didn't reply, she simply placed her right hand on Rachel's shoulder. She gave it a squeeze, letting the young detective know she was there for her, and quickly letting go, when she realised she didn't want to be seen letting the mask of a cold and callous bitch. Gill, deep down was warm, kind, caring and loving, but the last time she let anyone in to see what she was really like, Dave left her for another woman, leaving her a broken-hearted mess. It was safer for Gill to put on this hard exterior; that way she couldn't get hurt so easily.
"Is he…alright?" Gill asked.
"Yes. He's fine. Thank you" Rachel replied. Rachel's tears fell at that moment, when she realised the woman known as 'Godzilla' was nowhere near as awful as she thought, and really she did have a heart. Janet had always told Rachel that Gill was human; Rachel failed to see it, but now she could. Her tears fell. Harder. Louder.
Gill re-placed her hand on Rachel's shoulder, pulling her back towards her. She stood and leant forwards, grabbing Rachel as she was about to fall to the ground. She held the broken woman in her arms, stroking her hair and soothing her.
"I can't do this" Rachel sobbed.
"Do what?"
"My brother" she replied.
"What about him" Gill questioned.
"He crashed my car. He was unconscious for ten seconds, and stupid me, thinking he was at death's door, rushed to the hospital, missing my exam, and he strolls out without a scratch on him"
"You cared about him Rachel, because you love him. Someone has to; we all need someone to love us, and be there for us every time we get it wrong or mess up. It says more about you than anything; you're only human Rachel" Gill tried to console but knew she was failing, miserably.
"I don't want to be human, I want to be you"
"I wouldn't wish that on anyone!" Gill replied light-heartedly.
"But I do"
"You'll be in charge of your own syndicate in ten years, you watch this space" Gill answered, smiling at her.
"I meant with" Rachel stared at Gill, waiting for her to realise what she was trying to infer.
"You want to be with me?" Gill repeated unsure of what she meant.
"Me with you Gill"
Gill stood back and ran to the door. She let a tear escape. She couldn't, however much she wanted to, she just couldn't.
"You've really fucked everything up, haven't you?" Gill cried, holding her head in a hand.
"I'm sorry Gill" Rachel tried.
Gill saw Rachel's face. She saw a completely broken woman, and she had just made it ten times worse. She kicked her while she was down, and she knew how that felt. She knew how she felt.
She crept forward slowly, sniffing her tears back, her hands hanging by her sides. She reached the table. Her hands pushed down into it, steadying herself. Her eyes closed. Her mouth opened. She could feel the warm air being breathed onto her face. Lips met lips for the first time. Cries stopped the second they touched. Problems disappeared. Papers began to fall to the floor as Gill leant further across the desk, trying to reach Rachel's body.
"I'm sorry" Gill replied.
