Chapter 3

I felt strange walking in the caves. I knew my way around as well as Wanda did, however, this was my first time actually going anywhere myself. It was too surreal.

We didn't speak as we drew closer and closer to Ian's room. Jared was quiet. I could only guess what he might be thinking, but I didn't bother speculating. I had too much else to consider. Like what to say to Ian.

How could I possibly try to explain everything to him? I didn't know where to begin. I knew he would be angry... and quite possibly at me. I remembered he seemed to sense I objected to Wanda's plan during her tribunal, but what would he think now that the deed was done? I would just have to explain as best I could. I loved Wanda like a sister. I just hoped that he would be able to see that. But how much else should I tell him? I very clearly remembered Wanda's words to Doc when she named her terms. I didn't know what to tell Ian—whether he should ever know what she was really planning.

My silent fretting was interrupted when Jared suddenly stopped. I hadn't been paying attention, letting him tow me along beside him. Now I realized we were already at our destination.

I hesitated. As much as I knew this had to be done, I was honestly a little frightened of what Ian's reaction might be. Suck it up, I thought to myself. My hand tentatively reached towards the door, but Jared beat me to it, moving it aside silently. I took a deep breath and stepped away from Jared. He made as if to follow me, but I turned on him and shook my head.

"What is it?" he whispered.

"You're not coming in with me," I said in a low voice. Jared looked as if he were about to protest; I placed a hand on his chest. "Stay here. I have to do this myself." He frowned at me unhappily.

"Stay," I repeated. I took a deep breath and turned away from him.

I stepped carefully into Ian's room and Jared replaced the door behind me. The room was dark; the light from the cryotank cast a dim red glow, revealing a form on the mattress at my feet. Ian was sprawled on his back, his breathing deep and even. I watched his unconscious face, illuminated in red. His expression was relaxed and peaceful. Blissfully unaware. I cringed, knowing I was about to shatter that peace. Trying to keep myself from panicking, I shifted the cryotank to one arm and knelt down next to him.

"Ian," I whispered. I hesitated, then carefully placed my hand on his shoulder. "Ian, wake up."

He groaned and rolled to one side. "Wanda?" he murmured sleepily. I bit my lip, uncertain of what to do.

"Ian, please wake up." I shook his shoulder slightly, and he seemed to hear me.

His eyes opened halfway, searching the room with a confused expression. They finally focused on the light of the cryotank cradled in one of my arms. He blinked several times, trying to orient himself.

"Wanda, what..." he stopped short, suddenly focused. He took in the occupied cryotank, and then slowly looked up, his eyes locking on mine. I quickly realized what he must be missing—the silvery reflection of light around my irises. Even in the faint glowing light, my eyes would have revealed any soul inside of me. I forced myself to not spring up and run, instead my muscles locked in place as I braced for the worst.

For one long moment, time seemed to stand absolutely still. A million expressions flitted across his face; I could see the pain most clearly, overshadowing each one of them. Somehow I was able to hear him over the blood pounding in my ears.

"NO!"

It barely sounded like a word. It was an agonized cry of denial, echoing violently in the small space. Ian sprang up; his movement knocked me backwards into the wall. Instinctively both my arms wrapped around Wanda's cryotank as my back made painful contact with the rock. I froze for a moment, trying to find the breath that had been knocked out of me. My lungs finally gained control, and I gasped for air.

Ian was still as a statue only a few feet away from me. He moved suddenly, and before I had registered what happened, he was right in front of me. I couldn't see anything except for his face, contorted with rage. A genuine thrill of fear made me cringe away from him, but there was nowhere to go—I was pressed against the rough uneven wall.

"Why?" he shouted. It was almost a growl.

My shock was wearing off, and I began to feel the soreness in my back. I sucked in a sharp breath as the pain registered.

"Please, Ian, let me explain," I gasped. I forced my arms to move and pushed Wanda's tank towards him; his hands automatically rose to take it from me. He looked down at the tank, the red light illuminating his face.

"See?" I said. His expression began to soften as he realized what he was holding. "She's safe. She's not going anywhere."

He looked up at me. I cringed as I saw the pain still overshadowing his expression. I took a deep breath, and let everything spill out of my mouth at top speed.

"You had to see this was coming. I mean I know I shared a mind with her and all, but you should have guessed what she would do. She's so selfless, she would have never stopped until she freed me from her. Please, please, don't hate me—I love her too and I didn't want her to do this, she can help us all better than I ever could, and I'm not just going to let her go. Jared and I figure we can find her a new body—one that's been completely taken over by a soul so there's no human inside because I know she doesn't want to imprison someone again..." I stopped to catch my breath.

Ian stared at me for a moment. His expression was slightly calmer; he stepped back to give me some space. I moved away from the wall, trying to suppress the groan of pain that this caused.

"I'm sorry... Melanie" he said, seeming upset. His arms tightened around Wanda's cryotank.

"S'okay," I muttered, sinking to the floor.

He hesitated, then came and sat near me. It was quiet for a moment.

"I guess I underestimated her," he said with a hollow laugh. "But you're right. She isn't going anywhere. I won't let that happen." He held her tank closer to his chest. I relaxed a little; he didn't seem angry anymore. Just resigned.

He sighed. "So what happens now?"

I forced myself not to laugh; that was exactly what I had asked.

"Well... we can try to find her a new body," I began, remembering my earlier conversation with Jared. "From what I know, not all humans stay with their hosts. If we brought another soul back and took them out of the body, there's a chance the human might not wake up... that they're just gone forever..." I shuddered, realizing that we wanted this to be the case so that we could get Wanda back. I tried to steer my mind on to something else. "So, that's the plan. If you're okay with it... it's really your decision more than anyone else's."

I glanced up at him. He sighed. "I guess it is my decision... yes, I'd like you to try that."

"Do you want to come with us on the raid?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm staying here with Wanda."

"Okay." I could understand that. "I'm not sure when we're going to leave... I want to stay a little while to see what happens with Jodi..." I trailed off. Ian looked up.

"She hasn't woken up yet?" he asked sharply.

I shook my head. I could see the expression on his face; it must have looked a lot like mine. Hope and despair at the same time. Hope for Wanda—that some humans won't wake up, so that we can put her in someone without her being a parasite. Despair for the humans like Jodi who might have lost themselves, who might have been completely erased forever. I didn't know what to say; the silence lengthened.

Ian moved- he shifted carefully onto his knees and then he was on his feet. He was careful not to jostle the tank he held. I took this as my opportunity to leave. I rose and shifted the door aside.

As I stepped out, I turned to put the door back. Ian was watching me, a strange expression on his face. I couldn't decipher it. When he saw me looking back he turned away. I sighed; the worst, the part I had been dreading the most, was over. Ian really was one of the more reasonable people here, I had to admit.

Jared was waiting for me not far from Ian's room. He had been sitting with his back against the rough rock; as soon as he saw me he sprang onto his feet and half-ran to me. I wordlessly reached for him, and his arms went around me. I knew I would never take his touch for granted. It erased all the pain and anxiety I felt- I sighed and relaxed as I felt the warmth between us. I knew that I could handle anything with him at my side.


AN: This chapter has been revised for style and grammar.