A/N. Thank you for all your comments and encouragement and apologies for the slow updates!


The door opened before he'd finished knocking and his suspicions were immediately confirmed. 'Normal Carter' would have a questioning or defensive look on her face when finding him on her doorstep at 0900 on a Saturday morning. Instead, her weak smile suggested she was just about holding it together.

Ok, he'd made the right decision.

"Morning." He held up the still steaming cups and gave her the raised eyebrow 'isn't life swell' expression from the patented O'Neill portfolio. "I brought coffee."

Her chest rose as she sucked in a breath and he could see her eyes glaze with tears. Holy crap. Not the reaction he was expecting. Did he ignore it or call her on it? That was why he was here wasn't it? Christ, he was so badly equipped for this.

She saved him the decision with a forced but chirpy reply.

"Thank god. I hadn't made it that far yet."

Apparently they were going with denial. Business as usual then.

"Really?" He checked his watch. "It's past nine o'clock Carter. How have you made it to 0900 without caffeine?"

"Yeah." She looked away. "I slept late." She turned to push the door open further and gestured for him to come in.

Slept late? His eyebrows rose as he walked past her but he kept with the program and didn't push it. He handed her the coffee on the way through.

He reached the sitting area and debated whether to sit on the couch or perch on the arm. She didn't seem to be following him into the room so he opted for the arm. He heard a murmur of "Thank you" but wasn't clear if was for him or a quite prayer of thanks to the caffeine god.

He looked her over as she closed her eyes, inhaling the aroma of the coffee. She looked tired, grey even. Worse than yesterday. Her shoulders were slumped, her whole body seemingly weighed down by an invisible force. She certainly hadn't mustered any level of military attention to his presence here as her CO, not that that was a bad thing in his eyes. Just not normal.

Had he ever seen her like this before? Probably not outside of the infirmary and some life threatening injury. The fact she hadn't called him 'Sir' hadn't escaped his attention either. So was she reacting to him purely as a friend right now or did she just not have the energy to care?

Jeez, he was really out of his depth here. His heart sank as he realised his mistake and now he was stuck between her and the door with no escape route and no plan. Talking was so not his thing. He should have sent Daniel. What exactly did he think he was going to accomplish here? Other than just wanting to see her?

Fresh from her coffee fix, she re-opened her eyes and looked over to him with a small smile. He returned it and the shared moment pulled him out of his panic freefall.

He gave himself a mental slap. Come on, Jack, you're a smart guy. Think it through.

Maybe he could tempt her with a different form of adrenaline boost? He could take her flying, or, he countered quickly, suggest she take out a jet. It was perhaps a little presumptuous to think she'd want him there.

She could have organised that herself, though. It's not like she needed his permission to go flying. Her normal ways of dealing obviously hadn't worked or he wouldn't feel the need to be here right now.

She needed a new situation that she'd have to adapt to or learn. That was when she excelled. That was when he could see the life surging through her.

His mind sorted through different possibilities, but they all related to her in some way, were all things she might have turned to herself. He reached further back into the depths of his childhood and found something that might just work. The memory evoked feelings of warmth and safety but also exhilaration and exploration. He'd never heard her talk about it so maybe it would be a new experience for her.

He took a sip of his coffee and said a silent prayer of his own that she'd go for it.

"So." He paused for effect. "Wanna get out of here?"

As soon as he said it he realised his mistake. There were implications other than just getting out of here. Damn it.

He began to draw away, literally leaning back on his perch and prepared himself for her to do the same, for her to retreat behind protocol and what was appropriate for their working relationship. But her immediate response cut through his thoughts.

"God, yes."

It was a reflex reaction and her tone not unlike the Doc had just administered her a massive dose of morphine. The way she responded completely surprised him. Even she looked shocked at the relief in her voice.

He smiled and looked away to hide how good it made him feel. Was it just the getting out of here, or the getting out of here with him that made her answer like that? He cut off the hope that flared inside him before it could gather momentum. This was so not the time for that.

"What did you have in mind?" She'd managed to get her voice back under control but when he looked back round he saw the flush on her cheeks and neck. Maybe she'd surprised herself as much as him.

He took another sip of his coffee as he considered her. Was she gonna go for this?

"You ever sailed?"

"Sailed? As in on a boat?" She looked confused.

He didn't answer but gave her the look he reserved for stupid people asking stupid questions and was rewarded with a spontaneous grin. This was looking good already.

"Actually no. Not really. I mean, just motor boats."

He nodded, pleased that he'd found something new.

He took a breath and looked back out of the window, over the same view that she had been studying when he arrived. It was beautiful, but for some reason the only image he could see was her flushed face from her instinctive acceptance of his offer. What was it that she'd been embarrassed about?

He had a sudden thought that, whatever the reason, embarrassment might push her back into military mode and he wasn't ready to go there yet. He needed to put her at ease, to get them back on a level footing. He pulled the sailing memory back into his head.

"My father taught me when I was young. We would go out all day, fish, camp, sail back the next day. I loved it." He paused, smiling to himself as the memories became clearer in his mind. "I have some great memories of it." He looked back over to find her staring at him with a little more life in her eyes than he'd seen recently.

She studied him as the silence grew. "You've never told me anything like that before." Her voice was soft, curious.

He held her gaze and fought the compulsion to reach out and touch her, to enhance the link between them right now.

His defences kicked in and he broke off the moment.

"Oh, I think you'd enjoy it." He smiled and gave a dramatic wave of his hand. "It's not flying jets through minefields but it can be pretty exhilarating. Or relaxing. Whatever."

She nodded and smiled at him, a genuine smile. "Sounds great." She said, clearing her throat.

Cool. He nodded and stood up from the arm of the chair.

Now he just had to find a boat.

"Can I borrow your phone?"