Earlier…B.T.(Before trashcan)
I thought the afterlife would be more crowded than this. I stared into a dark abyss that seemed never ending at one person.
"Welcome! How are you this fine evening?" the being asks. "Not very talkative I see. Thats a good quality to have." The being then snaps its fingers, "Say how would you like to do anything you want, create anything you want destroy anything you want? All for one price?"
This sounded impossible but my first thought came to my mind. "You just said 'anything you want' so many times in a row. That's not a proper way to talk."
"Ah yes," the being sighs," as you can probably tell, I do not know to grammar very well. I blame this on a lack of parental figures in my life. You see, I can create a mother and a father, but I can't create family." The figure then looks down apparently saddened by this. Like the weather the figure's mood changed in a matter of seconds from mildly depressed to happy. "Thats where you come in! I wanted to ask you a question."
The being then cupped its hands together and squeezed. After a few seconds the open hands of the being held a pen. "It's dangerous to go alone, here, take this." It then tossed the pen into my hands.
"W-wait I never agreed to-"
"Oh but you did," the being interrupted. "See, once you touched it, all of the power went inside you. The deal is done. Now, I would like my payment please," it ended in a menacing tone. After the last note, I start to fall.
Present time
As I get up for the second time in the alleyway, not wanting to meet the same mistake I made the first time I jump up and prepare myself for a fight. As I do not see anyone I start to run out of the alley. I stop running when I reach a park and start recollecting my thoughts.
'Alright, my name is...is… wow that's not good. Okay my mother's name is… I can't remember anything. Aright what can you remember? You were born on the planet earth, and by the looks of things, you are still on that rock.'
'Let's see, what else can I remember. TV shows, computers, books, and a can do attitude! That last one is not important to me at all right now. Did I normally talk in my head like this? Must've been lonely. Okay now what genius?'
As the ranting in my head continued I then remembered the critical injury to my neck. Feeling quite like a child who woke up in the dead of night and remembered they did not study for a test, I grabbed my neck and felt a huge scar running vertically across my head stick. As my hand ran across the scar I tried to talk.
"Hello I'm lost!" I said in the loudest voice that could be mustered. Sadly the voice came out raspy and quiet. 'Great,' I thought, 'My voice doesn't work, I don't know where I am much less who I am. Thank god I know every superhero, villain and powers from everyone ever created by the works of fiction. Can this day get any worse?'
It was then the universe decided to remind me of Murphy's law. People around me started running and panicking as Mr. Freeze appeared out of nowhere and started doing what he does best. As the brave warrior that I am, I promptly stood up and ran and hid. I got taken down by a couple of street thugs, no way am I going to fight a pun waiting to happen.
Luckily I didn't have to.
As the iceman was about to go on another freeze-ray rage, a boomerang struck the large ice weapon.
"Batman, I was wondering when-"
He never got to finish his thought, as a maniacal laugh echoed throughout the park. Seconds later the boy wonder appeared out of thin air and straight onto the glass dome of ice-man's' head, leaving a huge crack into it and Mr. Freeze on the ground. Robin then jumped off of, fired two birdarangs at the already damaged helmet cracking it more then got into a battle stance.
"The boy wonder," Mr. Freeze growled, "The Bat sent you to drag me off to prozon? Frankly I'm underwhelmed."
'Great the superheroes are here. Now it's time to run my happy little toosh away from here.' As I ran away I picked up a notepad on the way out of the park. When I thought I was far enough I looked all around before relaxing. No super villains in Gotham during the daytime. 'Alright time to see if that guy was right. Lets keep it simple.'
Ball
And just like that, a ball appeared before me. 'Okay let's try something harder.'
Everyone soon became apparent that they were covered in chocolate pudding.
It only took a few seconds of the chocolate treat on my person to realise 'everyone' included me too. I soon corrected the problem.
'So, I have power to do what I want, when I want. I could do so much good in this world, or I could rule over them. Frankly there is only one option.
Gotham Supermarket
"Mommy, why is that person on my pink pony ride?"
"Don't look sweetie. I thought this city only sees weirdos at night."
'FOOLS!' I thought. 'Nobody can save you from my ability to stay on one of these things and still look super cool while doing it! Truly this pen has power worthy of the gods!'
"Excuse me,but we're going to have to ask you to get off the horse," an officer said.
I then pointed at the man, 'You will have to defeat me in hand to hand combat officer!' I promptly gave a super-punch to the cop, which he then proceeded to catch and put behind my back.
"Okay guy, you are under arrest for assaulting an officer. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will…"
Gotham Holding Cell
'It was then in my time in the slammer I saw the true face of humanity. A cruel and vicious race that-'
"Alright kid," it's been 10 minutes, are you gonna talk or what?"
'Truly mankind was meant to die by the internet.'
