Here's chapter 3, A.K.A the test drive of the song player similar to Brutal Legend. I recommend you listen to said song when it appears. Ch. 4 should be the first appearance of the Cowboys.

Sorry if I keep you waiting for them. I need a good story build-up. And, honestly, I'm still perfecting them so I won't screw them up. Plus, I'm still working on perfecting the song idea, which is actually a harder idea than you might think. You got to time events and think of songs, and I only know a few bands compared to the games soundtrack.

A warning to all you flamer fuckers: I'm going to include bands that you may not like, like DragonForce and Avenged Sevenfold, both of which I'm big fans of. They are Metal so get the fuck over it. Don't worry; they won't be the only bands I'll use. I may also include Hard Rock songs, like Guns 'N Roses and AC/DC. I'll post this warning in the next chapter, too.

Okay, enough talking and on to the story. Enjoy or die.

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Cowboys From Hell

Chapter 3

"You need a Specialist…."

The Great Stone Sword of Ironheade could be seen for miles, even in the fog, rain, or meteor shower. To many, it has become a symbol of hope, salvation and free beer. To Eddie, though, it was a symbol that his car, pimped up as it was, was too damn slow. Filled with worry, the Ironheade plains seemed to go on forever. Anything could be going one at Ironheade with him not being there. The fucking bats could be cutting up his army, Mangus, Lita, Ophelia….

Eddie's fears were put to rest when he reached the landmark and saw Mangus standing outside, arms crossed.

"There you are, Eddie. Where've you been?" Mangus exclaimed, his voice a mix of relief and annoyance.

"Ran into a pest problem on the way here." Eddie said casually.

"You too? Man, these damn bats keep popping up everywhere. We're barely holding them off here. Our Infirmaries are chock full of wounded. We may have to move somewhere else."

"Keep that in mind. We'll use that as a last resort, but now let's tend to the wounded and mount up to fend them off."

"Man, isn't this weird?" Mangus said in a way that would make you think he was a high as Jimi Hendrix, "Bats coming out of the sky, killing everyone. It's like a sign of the apocalypse."

Eddie, not sure what he just heard, stared at Mangus, who chuckled nervously.

"Shall we head in?" He awkwardly said.

They walked in to find people running about everywhere. Thunderhogs were riding in with wounded in the back, which were then carried to tents. Eddie then saw his band mates Ophelia, Lita and another familiar face he hadn't seen in a while, Rima.

(A/N: Okay here's the first attempt. A song from my top favorite band for one of the, in my opinion, sexiest characters in the game, Rima. Song: Looks That Kill by Mötley Crüe)

"Hey, guys." Eddie said, then looking at Rima. "Rima, what're you doing here?"

"Hello, Son of Riggnarok," she said in a calm voice while bowing. She hasn't changed much since the last time Eddie saw her, during the Fall of Diviculous. He had not seen her then, as she decided not to show up at the after party. She wore her fierce looking but still stylish (and as Eddie thought sometimes: pretty damn sexy) leather jungle outfit, complete with a Laser Panther pelt as a hat/cape and a staff with the claw of a Metal Beast as the blade. Man, if Eddie wasn't dating Ophelia right now, would have defiantly tried to date Rima. Eddie, along with many others, however was a bit afraid of the Valley Girl. Even the Baron, leader of one the most feared group of outlaws, proceeded to "hit and quit it."

"I am here on a request for assistance. These… monstrosities are tearing my jungle apart and are tearing my—" she was interrupted when a Headbanger wearing scrubs and a face mask (Which Eddie found downright adorable) walked out of the tent. He didn't say anything, but looked at Rima and nodded his head left and right sadly. Rima then looked to the ground and had a look of utter sorrow on her face. Mangus and Ophelia put their hands on her shoulders in sympathy. Surprisingly, she didn't shrug them off.

"Sorry, love." A familiar heavy-accented voice sounded. Eddie looked to see the Killmaster, a good ally of Ironheade and a good friend of Eddie, standing at the tent's door. "We did all we could, but she lost too much blood. We sedated her, though, so she went out painlessly." The Killmaster said in hopes that it would ease her pain, if not a bit. It didn't seem to though.

"I don't blame you." She said almost monotone-ish, without looking up. "What I do blame are these damned bats!" She growled.

"Don't worry, Rima. We'll take care of these mother-fucking bats if it kills us… which I hope it doesn't, 'cause that would kind of kill the point of killing them." Eddie said without thinking. The death-glare he got from Rima made him wish he'd learn to end his encouragement one sentence early.

"How are we going to do that, Eddie?" Lita spoke. "There are too many to kill at once, and they're too tough to kill one at a time. You're probably not gonna get away with using another Thunderstruck."

"First, we need to find their weaknesses, and I have a feeling I know who can help us out with that." Eddie turned for his car.

"Wait, Eddie." Ophelia proclaimed. "I'm coming with you."

"But, you should stay here and—"

She put her finger in his lips, "No, even you won't last if you get swarmed. You need all the help you can get." She took her finger off and pointed at the car. "Plus, I hardly ever get to ride in this thing."

"Fine," Eddie gave in, "let's go."

They hopped in and Eddie floored it, driving off.

"So, where're we going?" Ophelia asked.

"To the center of the planet." Eddie said without taking his eyes of the road.

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Eddie drove through the ever-familiar tunnel to the Motorforge. He wondered how the Guardian would react to his sudden reappearance, and even worst, his reaction to seeing Ophelia.

They reached the center and hopped out of the Hot Rod. The Guardian appeared immediately, as he usually did.

"You again? What the fuck do you--?" The Guardian took a look at the attractive women at Eddie's side. "Oh, and who is this lovely bird?"

"Ophelia. Uhh, who are--?" The confused girl was interrupted when she then found the Guardian of Metal behind her. He grabbed her hand and bowed.

"I, my dear, am the all-and-ever powerful Guardian of Metal; keeper of timeless secrets, loyal warrior and sorcerer of the Metal Gods…" he kissed the top of Ophelia's hand, "… and sexiest man alive." Ophelia could not help but be flattered but kind of creeped out by the strange man.

"Uhh, dude? She's dating someone." Eddie chimed in.

"What? Who?" He stood and looked at Ophelia, "' 'cause I can tell you right now he nowhere as good-looking as me. I mean, what's he got that I don't?"

"A guitar and an axe he's not afraid to use?" Eddie said with a sly smile on his face. The guardian looked at Eddie and his eyes widened behind his glasses.

"Oh. Fuck." He muttered. He then looked at Ophelia. "I think we should see other people." He said nervously, then stepped back. Ophelia was so confused. The Guardian spoke after clearing his throat, "So why are you back so soon?" He looked at the lava, hoping his well-meaning but over-protective wife wasn't listening to the conversation. "Did you bring any beer?"

"No, I didn't." Eddie spoke as he leaned into his car. "And even if I did, it would've been destroyed…" he pulled something out, "…by this." He held a corpse of a bat in front of the Guardian, who leapt back in shock.

"Holy—" he lost his footing and stumbled backwards, eventually falling off the ledge in to the lava, screaming.

"Fuck!" was all Eddie and Ophelia heard fading away. They carefully walked to the edge, look over it showing (in Ophelia's case: shock/confusion and Eddie's case: Fear) on their faces as a splash was made.

"Oh, shit." Was all Eddie could mutter. He forgot one thing, though: The Guardian was immune to lava.

They then watched as a blast of lava flew over their heads. Eddie felt such relief as the Guardian appeared out of it. He brushed the soot of his robe.

"It would've been nice if you warned me." The annoyed Guardian said.

Eddie chuckled nervously. "Sorry, dude. So… do you know what these are?" He raised the bat slowly, hoping not to scare the Guardian again.

"Duh, I'm the Guardian of fucking Metal! I know everything!" He took a look at the creature and studied it for a minute. Finally, he spoke. "It's a Razor Bat."

The two lovers stared at the Guardian. Finally, Ophelia spoke.

"I could've told you that."

"Well, then why'd you ask me for help, since you clearly don't need it." The sarcastic Guardian replied.

"We need their weakness." The roadie said.

"Ah, they are tough little fucks. I should know," he stood a proud stance, " I killed like 500 of them."

"Oh," Eddie exclaimed, "then can you do it again?" He asked relieved.

"NONONONONOnononono!" The Guardian exclaimed a little too quickly, eyes wide and hands waving in front of him. "Those things are fucking nasty, man! Here look at this." He turned around and lifted the back of his robe, revealing like a hundred scars on his back. Eddie and Ophelia stared in shock, but not because of the scars. The Guardian failed to mention something….

"Dude… why are you wearing a thong?" Eddie vacantly asked.

The Guardian looked up and turned around, dropping his robe.

"It's a work-out thong. A bod like this doesn't come easy, you know?"

"What?" Ophelia spoke after a while. "Sorry, I guess I spaced out."

"It happens." The Guardian spoke nonchalantly . "Anyway, about those bats. Only someone from their land, Groovetal, will know how to deal with them." He looked at Eddie, "You need a specialist." He said dead serious.

The Bouncer was right. They did come from Groovetal. "What kind of specialist?"

"Might I recommend…" The Guardian raised his finger and twirled it, as if imitating a spinning lasso, "…The Cowboys From Hell?"

"All right, how do we reach them?" Eddie asked.

"Talk to that Baron guy. After all, he used to work with them."

Eddie remembered the Baron, the tough, bad-ass leader of the Fire Barons, and their usual hangout: where they took shelter after being driven away by Diviculous. They tore down the stage but they left the area as it was for them.

"All right, we'll get on it. Come on, Ophelia…. Ophelia?" Ophelia spaced out again, thinking scarring thoughts of the Guardian's thong.

"Wha…?" she said pretty vacant of emotion.

Eddie carried her bridal style to the car and put her in. "Don't worry, you'll forget about it someday." Eddie hopped in and prepared to drive off. "Take care, Guardian." He waved.

"Kick some ass, man." He said raising the Devil Horns. He turned, and prepared to dive in… when he noticed a trail of lava above him. Out of the lava next to him appeared… Sharon, the Wife of the Guardian of Metal.

"I assume they didn't bring any beer?" She said in a gentle but all the more commanding voice.

"Uhh… no?" The Guardian said using the same kind of cautiousness used for walking through a minefield. "You heard the conversation?"

"Maybe I did." She said, arms crossed. "Why don't you ask that little "bird," O, all-and-ever powerful Guardian of Metal?"

"Oh, fuck." Was all the Guardian could say, for he realized that he was truly, utterly and absolutely….. screwed.

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Not even the all-and-ever powerful Guardian of Metal can endure the wrath of Sharon. Poor guy. Thanks for reading, and let me see opinions of the song player. The 4th chapter should feature the Cowboys. Until then, SHARON!