Disclaimer: Nothing has changed ownership-wise
Dear Diary,
It has been far too long, and it seems we have a lot to catch up on. I will be as brief as possible, seeing as my father doesn't know that I have recovered the book. I don't want to think about what he would do if he discovered that I had been in his room and was writing in this. But let's not think about that.
It has been multiple years now, and I am almost ten years old. Father took me down to LA, which is a long way away from where Mom lives. Sometimes, I wonder how she is doing, but I'm not allowed to talk to her. According to father, I'm not allowed to talk to anyone. Not even myself. He still doesn't like the voices in my head and he tries to take away my toys, but I don't mind. I don't need anyone. Especially not him.
The kids at school think I am really weird. I think they are right. Apparently, most kids don't have voices or rip up stuffed animals or talk to themselves. They don't play the piano like I do, either. Father says I have a natural gift, but I don't know. All I know is that when he drinks, it makes him calm when I play for him. It is like a lullaby. When I play music, it makes him sleep, and he is okay when he wakes up. If I don't or if I play the wrong thing, he hurts me. He says that he doesn't miss Mom, but I don't know. He hasn't been happy since we left.
I haven't either.
I can't be depressed like my counselor says. My father says that I have nothing to be depressed about. He might be kind of mean, but he has never been wrong. Mercury was a bad man who didn't care about us. Mom went crazy after Luke left and she didn't love me, either. The voices in my head tell me to go somewhere, but I can't run away. I am not strong enough, and my father proves that all of the time. There was one thing he was wrong about, though.
I will write again as soon as I can.
Octavian Castellan
