Normal POV
Sunlight filtered in through his eyelids, burning brightness into his brain. Somewhere, disappointment made itself known to him. He was so close to answering Hao's question...
Then confusion pushed its way forward. Where was the sunlight coming from? Slowly he pulled into consciousness, and chirping birds and tires on pavement made themselves known. He could feel a breeze working its way around him, and then he inhaled, and the crisp sent of grass floated into his nose. His eyebrow twitched, and he slowly pulled his eyes open.
He was laying on his stomach. His head resting on one of his arms, the other, bent under his chin. Directly in his eyesight, the sun, still rising into the morning, was caressing its rays through the few clouds left. He moved a bit, pushing himself onto his elbows to see more around him. There were a few trees and flowers, but it was the grass that made this place to beautiful. It was long, and green and soft. This whole place seemed so perfect, and Yoh was content to just lay back down. But another question pushed though, shouting at him, how did you get here? Yoh sighed.
He didn't feel anything but calmness, so what was the worry? He hadn't been hurt (at least, he didn't think so), and this place was amazing. But as he sat up, he noticed a cream colored wad of material by his feet, and he realized that the bittersweet aching was back. He closed his eyes, instinct telling him to turn around.
When he opened his eyes, he was looking into a pair identical to his own, and for a moment he was startled.
"Hao!" Yoh shrieked, jumping away from his brother. He fell onto his backside, throwing his hands out to catch his fall. Hao was sitting inches away from where Yoh had been, crossed legged and shirtless. His hair blew around him.
"I thought it would be... better to talk to you in person, Yoh." His voice remained calm. Yoh's heart beat in double time, as he tried to reason with himself. Hao played that card first. "Are you so willing to accept me in your dreams, but not here, where it matters, dear brother? After all, this is where I need you..." his voice trailed off. Yoh was confused.
"Wait... so, my dreams were because of you?" Hao nodded.
"You see, Yoh, I couldn't leave us unfinished. It nagged at me the whole time. It was all because of you. Your kindness, your trust, your courage, and strength... I didn't actually leave my body... but I wasn't strong enough to do anything but be...dead. For days, I watched my body rot. I wasn't sure that I wanted to leave this world yet. Eventually, someone found me, nursed me back to health, and then I left as soon as I could. All in all, it was a long process." He sighed. "The months wasted..."
Yoh sat there, stunned. His heart had calmed some. "Wait, what did it have to do with me?"
His reflection smirked at him. "You just don't get it, do you? I need you, Yoh."
Yoh's eyes widened as Hao stood, closing the distance between them easily, and yanking Yoh up by his arm. The older boy wrapped his arm around his brothers waist, pulled him in tightly, and to Yoh's surprise, leant his head in for a kiss. Yoh's eyes widened more, and a blush stained his cheeks. He was too startled to move. Hao was determined not to give up. He kissed Yoh passionately until the boy succumbed to the blissful feeling being so close to Hao brought.
There was a warm, full feeling spreading out from Yoh's chest, and he arched against the others body, but before he knew it, he was being released. Hao looked into his eyes. "I still need your answer, Yoh. I need to know if I can ever be forgiven. I realize now, what I should have done to begin with, if I had ever hoped on regaining my other half." He leaned in for another kiss.
Yoh put a finger over the inclining lips. He liked how soft they were. Hao smiled upon hearing this thought, but waited. "Hao... I'm not really sure about all this. About anything when it comes to you... there are so many things that bug me when it comes to you. The depression I fell into... How angry you make me sometimes because you died. How awkward I feel, knowing I just kissed my own brother. How wrong and confused I feel... I wanted to help you Hao, but you never let me. So many things that bug me. But... I don't hate you. I never hated you. I never thought you were evil. Everyone else was convinced, but not me. I always thought that you could help the people who chose the wrong path by listening and trying to understand what made them take that course. I hated your decisions, and your anger, but never you. I could not hate my other half..."
"So, you forgive me?" Hao asked, shocking himself. He never would have guessed he would ever say those words with honesty in any lifetime. He brushed the hair away from Yoh's face, so that he could see clearly into his eyes.
"There is nothing to forgive Hao."
He pulled Yoh up into a spine crushing hug, spinning him around once before putting him down. After Yoh had caught his breath, he smiled at the completely genuinely happy smile on Haos lips. Then laughter broke out. At first it was shaky, hysterical and kinda of crazed. He had been panicking and fretting over something that had gone so smoothly. But eventually the laughter evened out, it was relieved and calm and happy. Light.
"Hao?" Yoh asked, when Hao had finished laughing and sat beneath the tree again.
"Yes?" The smile was still there.
"I'd like to have some time to think about you and me..."
The others face fell, just a bit. "Of course..."
Yoh sat down beside his brother, grasping his hand and intertwining their fingers. "This is what I have to think about now, isn't it? I mean... you just kissed me... This is kind of sudden. Not to mention, it's..." he paused. His eyes lowered to the floor. He didn't like the word. Incest. It made him feel dirty. This felt different then the word implied. This was different. They weren't just brothers, they were two halves of one soul. "Well, lets go with the other 'I' word that's just as valid. It's illegal. And then there's my friends... and myself. I have doubts as well." He pulled his hand away. "I love the way it feels being near you, Hao, being complete... but do we have to be intimate to feel this way?"
"I'm... not really sure... And...I...I love you." The way Hao said it made Yoh want to laugh. It sounded like a question, but Yoh knew better than that. He knew how difficult admitting these thing were for his brother. "It feels... overwhelming... it's so strong...I would guess its like being in love, if I had to compare. Along with wanting to protect you and hang out with you, I find myself... wanting to kiss you, and hold you near me." At those words, Yoh scooted closer to his twin, smiling at him as he cuddled against Haos chest. The latter wrapped his arms around the boy in front of him, nuzzling his hair before continuing. "Yoh, I'm not sure I ever want to become whole again... after having your half of the soul inside me, after being so close to you, when I died... when we separated, I felt more abandoned, more alone than I ever had... it was painful, that awful, shattering pain of being ripped in two again. But maybe I can have someone to love me again... and having the soul of the person I'm in love with inside me... means no more love. And I don't want to deal with that Yoh. I may be the strongest shaman in the world, but all my strength is a facade for what it's really like inside." Hao paused, turning so he could look into his brothers eyes directly.
Hao smiled. "But if I cant die, Yoh... then maybe... maybe you cant either."
"...Hao..." He smiled uncertainly. "I'm still not sure I'm ready for this..."
Hao stroked his twins cheek. "That's alright, Yoh. I know you'll come to a decision shortly." With that Hao stood up, walking a short way away and lying in grass, signaling that the conversation was on hold.
