I had to think on my feet and quickly. I was a wanted man, always would be. Just not in the way I'd ever hoped.
Puzzle pieces scrapped it out around my head. Mixed messages and questions fired around my brain, tripping me out. I still had Foster's lifeless body in my hands. Hands that were shaking uncontrollably.
I dropped the corpse; crouched to my knees. Nobody would come for him, or would they? This lonely, twisted middle-aged therapist. Who would visit? Did he have children? Who would notice he'd disappeared?
I didn't want to think about him anymore. I didn't want to waste my thoughts on the psychopath that had mashed in my best mate. But I had to. I needed a strategy if I was ever going to get far away enough before somebody, somewhere started to piece it all together.
I knew the law would catch up with him one day. They would find me eventually. That's how life works. You splash about and you get wet. I just needed a head start - and a pretty fucking significant one.
I knew I had to leave Bristol that night. I had a couple of hours tops before the feds would start sniffing around the pack. Karen had reported Freddie as a missing person. They would want to talk to his family. To JJ and Effy. To all of us.
I had to get out. There was so much left to fix, but only one person could do that now. The only person left.
I must have been at Foster's for hours 'cause the sun was rising as she opened the door. Wide eyed and wired. A hot mess.
She took a minute; took it in. The torn shirt, the dirt and the blood. So much fucking blood.
'What's wrong?'
'I need you to do something for me, Naomi. A real big fucking favour.'
'Cook, you're scaring me.'
I looked down at myself; worse than I thought. 'Don't worry about this. It's sorted, it's all over.'
'What's over?'
She was trembling. Fuck, how I didn't want to do it. The pain at having to say his name.
'Freddie, Naomi. He's gone. It's finished.'
Her breathing, ragged. It cut into me like ice, like venom.
'What happened to him, Cook?'
'Foster fucked him, didn't he? Sniped the poor cunt.'
'Are you okay?'
'No. No, I don't think I'll ever be – but that doesn't matter, alright? You need to look after her.'
Naomi nodded wordlessly.
'But you can't tell her. You can't tell anybody.'
'Cook, you can't ask me to do that.'
'She's got fuck all else, Naomi and you know it. She's hanging on to every inch of him. If she finds out, it will kill her, literally.'
'Cook, I don't know. I've only just got my own fucking life in order –'
'But you're still alive, Naomi. You and your bird – got the whole fucking world ahead of you. Effy doesn't have that anymore. And besides, you owe me. If it weren't for me your sorry minge would be locked away underground somewhere'.
I didn't want to do it. Fucking hated using the guilt trip, the fucking trump card. But I'd do anything, use anyone to make sure that she was safe.
'Okay.'
'Promise me, Naomi. '
'I promise.'
'And you've got to get her out of here. Keep her on her meds and that. Help her forget him – and forget me. She stays here and shit will kick off, word will be all over the street.'
'What about his family, Cook?'
'Like I said, you keep it schtum. Let them hope, alright? S'what Freds would've wanted.'
'You fucked him then? Foster?'
I nodded. 'Just protect her, Naomi. Please do that.'
'What are you going to do, Cook?' Although she already knew. 'This is the end isn't it?'
I shrugged. 'Naomi, I'm sorry'.
She put her arms around me then and held me tight to her. Kissed the bruise on my temple. I'd fucking miss her smell.
'Be careful, Cook'.
I smiled into her shoulder as tears betrayed my eyes.
'Never'.
