Chapter 3
MARGARITA MEMORIES

It's an icy December night in New York and I am handing out my last CV of the day.
Foley's Irish Bar, reads the sign on the bar. My positive outlook is somewhat waning after a long week of enthusiastically applying for jobs in the city.

"I'll show it to the boss and get back to you" claims the barman without even looking at me. I watch as he places the CV behind the bar and straight into the bin.
"In that case, it will have to be a margarita", I resign myself.

Sitting at the bar, minding my own business and mainly feeling sorry for myself, truth be known, someone sidles up to me on another stool.

"Alex" she introduces herself, confidently extending her right hand.
I take his hand and return the gesture. "Piper."

"Seasonally fitting", Alex rolls her eyes before I can. "How many times have you heard that, tonight?"
"Hmmm a mere twenty so far this season. I'm twenty one, so if you calculate that by approximately fifty times per advent for the past, say fifteen years, it's really only seven hundred and fifty", I deadpan playfully.
Alex chuckles and I find myself laughing too.

"It's a little cold out for a margarita, don't you think?" she questions, raising an eyebrow.

I scan Alex, shoes to head. She's a little less than six foot. Five, ten I think. Almost black thick hair, with captivating and wide green eyes. Her smile is confident and slightly smug.
Of course, I let her buy my drink.

"Alex?! You saw Alex?" Jimmy exclaims, incredulously.

I continue to log in and open my emails, never looking away from the screen.
"Yes. I saw Alex, as I said" I nod, nonchalantly.

"Okay… I agree, really it's no big deal", Jimmy raises his shoulders and resumes his position staring at his screen.

A few moments pass by and Jimmy slams down his laptop.
"Alex?! Jesus, Robin. Alex, also known as the love of your life? Total pain in my ass, Alex?"

I ignore his dramatics and continue typing. "We are meeting for coffee on Friday. No big deal."

"Well, I am glad to hear you're being so mature about this. Of course, Theo knows?"

I should have known better than to tell Jimmy prior to meeting with Alex. But that's done now…
"Look, I literally bumped into her the other day whilst having coffee. On my own I would like to add."
I take Jimmy's silence as a hint for me to continue. He nods almost telepathically answering me and encouraging me to share more details.

"That's it."
Another eyebrow raise from Jimmy.

"Really. That's it", I answer honestly.

I've known Jimmy, or James Bajwa as he was named by his parents, since college.
We met during an English Lit class on the first day of the semester and he's been my confidant ever since.
Jimmy was born in England and transferred before the start of college.
His Dad is Indian and Mom is English. At 5 foot 8 (and a half, as he always reminds me), slender and athletic build, with a head of hair that frankly I am jealous of, and jeans tighter than my own, Jimmy stands out.
Out and proud. Except when home, sadly.

"So, you're seeing Alex after five years and you expect me to believe this cool exterior you're wearing?
You broke your own heart after she started the process herself. Piper, all I'm saying is be careful.
You aren't yourself when you're with her. You're next level Piper. All doe eyed, spontaneous and irrational."

Actually, when I was with Alex I was the most myself I have ever felt. She made me feel beautiful, intelligent, confident... powerful. Like I could do anything if I put my heart into it.
She helped me realise who I was and what I wanted out of life. Simply put, she made me feel alive.

I lost myself after we broke up.
I left. I had to, the long nights of wondering if she would come home got longer and more worrying.
One day I finally had the strength to leave and I did just that. I knew it was now or never and I did what I had to do in order to keep my sanity.

I went cold turkey and didn't take any of her calls or return any of her texts.
Leaving Alex was the hardest thing I had ever done. Deep down I knew it was the right thing to do but that doesn't mean I just stopped loving her. A part of me always would and I had excepted that.

I admit honestly, "I need closure, Jim. This is my opportunity to finally close the chapter and move forward. I owe that to her and myself."

"As long as you know what you're doing. I mean, of course I will be here, Piper. Just remember you left for a reason. Also, you're happy now, right?" Jimmy queries.

Happy? Yes. I have a home and job I love. Theo is wonderful too.
I am as close to content as I think I can be.
Sometimes I feel things are a in a rut with Theo. It's plain sailing but without fireworks.
But before you judge me, I have been burnt by fireworks before and appreciate a girl can't have everything.

I realise I haven't yet answered yet, "Yes."

"Yes? That's all I get?"

I nod. "Yes."

"So, Friday?"

"Friday. Coffee. Done." I confirm.

"Details. I want details."

The rest of the day flies by and it is soon 7pm. I find myself staring at my laptop, not really doing a great deal.
The office is empty and my thoughts drift to a certain someone.
She looked great yesterday. I wonder if she's still in the cartel.

It was Alex's job that eventually destroyed our relationship.
She worked for an international drug cartel and at a pretty good level.
Alex called herself the Logistics Supervisor. Basically, she hired the drug mules who would transport drugs from A to B.

Sure the trips to Bali and Rome were amazing. We both loved travelling and that was a huge perk of her job.
With the perk, singular, came the downsides. Alex could be gone for weeks or months at a time and sometimes I would go days or weeks without a response from Alex. I would constantly worry that she had been stopped at an airport. Arrested or worse.

The cartel was led by Kubra Balik. A king pin in the drug ring.
Kubra would reward hard work well. Money certainly wasn't an issue.
However, should any deal go wrong, he would be sure to cut all ties and association with you.
Prison would be the preferred cut, if you catch my drift.

Eventually I got tired of waiting and worrying. I knew Alex could never really leave the job, even if she wanted to. The buzz she got from the success drove her and it wasn't often she would want to leave. Or so I thought.

Alex and I share a mutual love for a great book, classic or new, travel and lots of other things really.
The sex was… mind blowing.
I had no idea what it could be and hadn't since Alex. It was like she had a map of my body imprinted in her mind. She knew which buttons to press and when.

We were each other's equal and balanced each other.
A once in a life time, if you're lucky, experience. Alex was the love of my life.